Remember all the creative excuses we have all come up with for forgetting to hand in our homework? Well, here are 78 creative excuses for Mulder to give Skinner on how he lost his gun, this time!!!

78. "Floating in the bottom of the New Jersey sewer system, sir!"

77. "Whoa! Have you checked the Erlenmeyer Flask?"

76. "It was hung from the tallest tree and spun into a cocoon!"

75. "Have you checked the 1013 prop room????"

74. "The last time I remember seeing it, I was riding in the Well-Manicured Man's limousine and . . . kabooom!"

73. "I believe I could have left it in the Jungle Room, during my tour of Graceland!"

72. "Sir, you just think you re-issued me a gun (after the last time I lost it). And I understand how you might be confused. But you just think you re-issued me a gun."

71. "Might I suggest you try a piece of this shroom that Scully and I discovered? Trust me, Sir. One bite of this and you won't care where my gun is, either!"

70. "I believe I left it in one of those North-Eastern towns with the Indian names!"

69. "Have I told you the one about the baseball-playing aliens?"

68. "Sir, I don't know how to tell you this...but a vanishing man appeared beside my bed in the psych ward and, just as suddenly, disappeared (with my gun)!"

67. "Well, Sir, I gave it to the other Scully whilst in the Bermuda Triangle, before I jumped overboard (is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me!) and then when we searched the Liner I found it but it was old and rusty!"

66. "Well, Krycek said if I didn't turn over my gun to him, he would put it "where the sun don't shine.""

65. "Sir, Nurse Nancy took it for safe keeping."

64. "Sir, I just received a message from those pesky PAX groupies. They inform me that they have found the gun, but have decided as a collective group to hold it to ransom until they get a resolution to the M & S relationship issue (hmmm…an X-File in itself…). They want to speak to someone called CC...is he somehow related to the CSM?"

63. "Sir, I seem to have left it in Vancouver."

62. "Well Sir, I was surfing on the Internet last night, and came across this really cool PAX message board, and I met some very creative and inspired people who asked very nicely if they could play with my gun for a short while. Unfortunately, I was sidetracked by an in-depth discussion on some amazing television series that this web-site is dedicated to, and lost track of which phile was handling my weapon, then the server crashed and all the previous information was deleted, so now no-one knows where the gun ended up....."

61. "Scully autopsied it, Sir. My gun took one look at Diana Fowley and, apparently, died of fright!"

60. "Well, Sir, it fell out while I was dangling from the Aerial Tram at Skyland Mountain."

59. "It's in a boxcar full of dead aliens in the New Mexico desert."

58. "Would you mind asking CSM if it's over in the secret evidence room at the Pentagon?"

57. "Well, I was sound asleep when all of a sudden, a cow came crashing through the roof of my motel room and landed on top of my gun ... crushing it beyond all recognition."

56. "I may have left it at the Roach Motel over at Bambi's house."

55. "I don't know where my gun is, Sir. Perhaps we should contact the Stupendous Yappi's psychic hotline to find its whereabouts!"

54. "I traded it for a Big Blue t-shirt."

53. "It was right next to the digital tape!"

52. "Sir, the nurses said a mental patient is not allowed to have a gun."

51. "It was boiled in black oil, smuggled out Tunguska. Then, its arm was cut off!"

50. "When Albert Hosteen performed the Blessing Way chant, my gun (kept close to my body underneath all those palm frawns) accompanied me to the afterlife. I returned to this life, but my gun did not. The gun was weak and did not have the will to return."

49. "Darin Peter Oswald zapped it with a lightening bolt!"

48. "You'll never believe this, sir, but it was carried away by a swarm of bees."

47. "I must have left it in one of my past lives."

46. "I believe it was stolen by the Great Mutato!"

45. "It's buried over there, under that pile of sunflower seeds."

44. "I think I left it at the Gas Station in Area 51."

43. "Well, Sir, I was cooking my evening meal and...." A snort from Scully interrupts his train of thought and he turns to look at her. "Scully?" Scully raises an eyebrow and replies "Mulder, you never cook anything..." "I do so cook..." Another snort from Scully "You don't cook anything that isn't out of a tin or can be procured by utilizing the phone!!!" "Oh Scully, I am hurt that you don't believe that I...." "Trust me, Mulder. You can't cook!" A discreet cough interrupts their reverie, and they both turn and fix their gaze on the tall bald man in front of them. "Yes Sir?" "Agents, you were explaining this request form?" "Oh, well, yes. Um, well Sir, I just lost it."

42. "I dropped it into a can of cerulean blue paint, sir."

41. "Sir, Krycek took it so he could frame you."

40. "Don't try and blame this on me, Sir. You know you have it."

39. "I was laying on a table holding it under a sheet to make a tent so little Mulder wouldn't get claustrophobic."

38. "I accidently dropped it in Agent Fowley's bra. Sir, just issue me another one...please don't make me go back in there! I'm afraid!"

37. "Well Sir, I had it strapped on tight, and was wandering back to my trailer, when a crazed fan (who names herself after my underwear) leapt out from the bushes and lunged at me, wrapping her fevered hands around my waist. Next thing I know, I am (insert any form of relevant dialogue here.) and my gun has miraculously disappeared!"

36. "I put it in my pants and lost it."

35. "Scully took it to ballistics, again, to clear my name for the murder of my landlord."

34. "I sold it so I could buy this rare Skin Flick, Sir!"

33. "I lost it in a Celebrity Deathmatch with the Men in Black."

32. "I traded it for this really cool Plam!!!!"

31. "Samantha's clone borrowed it for a little while, Sir."

30. "A particle beam from the AI blew it into the next stratosphere!"

29. "Gun? What gun, sir?"

28. "I left it in the glovebox of the rental car."

27. "It's in a diplomatic pouch on its way to Tunisia, Sir."

26. "The geek (in Humbug) ate it."

25. "The LGM are using it to guard Scully's eggs."

24. "I left it inside the FBI building in Dallas, Sir."

23. "I'm not Mulder, Sir. I'm Morris Fletcher!"

22. "I left it on the ghost ship in the Bermuda Triangle, Sir."

21. "The Peacock family ran off with it. Do you want to go and get it back from them, Sir???"

20. "Queeg Queeg buried it."

19. "Sir, I put it in Scully's desk for safe keeping."

18. "My mom, Teena, took it away from me. She doesn't allow me to play with firearms."

17. "It was abducted by aliens, Sir."

16. "I put it in with those videos that aren't mine."

15. "We were drugged!"

14. "CSM thought it was a cigarette-lighter. Unfortunately it missed his head when he tried to light a cigarette, and only killed 13 innocent bystanders!"

13. "Ask C.C. - he's the creator!!"

12. "I left it in my gym bag while I was playing basketball."

11. "It was an international conspiracy at the highest levels of power."

10. "Scully took it away because she said I was gonna put my eye out with it."

9. "I loaned it to the Lone Gunmen to act a possible grassy knoll scenario and they didn't give it back."

8. "I was out of my mind with alien insanity and shagging Agent Fowley, and then, it was gone."

7. "It's with your hair."

6. "Sir, I was going to the bathroom, and the Flukeman took it."

5. "Sir, it's Scully's fault."

4. "Sir, you must've given it to Eddy, not me!"

3. "It fell between the cracks of the waterbed!"

2. "I was thinking about alien hybridization whilst paying for my pizza, and when I got home I still had the money in my hand - sorry."

1. "Oops, the cat ate it!"