 |
 |
||||||||||
| 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007 - Home - E-Mail | |||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why is it that when you're a child summer vacations seem to last a year, Christmas seems to be ten years apart instead of one, and you think you'll never be old enough? The older I get the shorter everything seems to be. Now summer seems to be a week long, Christmas happens once ever 3 months, and I wonder what has happened to my youth? I guess I can honestly say that in this new year, anything is possible for me. I'll be moving to another state (if this damn house ever sells), I'll be living in my very own place, making and meeting new friends, the possibilities seem limitless. In a year that will see many changes, I'm thankfull for the few things that won't ever change. The love and support of my closest and dearest friends. When I think back on all that has happened to me over the last year I have to include my friends in these thoughts. For if it wasn't for the love and support of two people very close to me, I wouldn't be here today. These people have been here to share my saddest moments, as well as being here to share in some of my victories. Their love, support, compassion, and laughter has helped me to change in many ways. They've shown me through their little kindnesses that I'm never alone, and never unloved. When you think about it, what more could anyone ask out of life than to know they are loved beyond compare, and that they are never truly alone. I beleive that once the love of another person has reached your heart, whether they are physically with you or not, they are always deep within your heart....and you are never alone. So as this new year begins I look forward to experiencing all life has to offer me. I know that whatever happens I'm not alone. I also know that life is what we make of it, sure we can complain about our lot in life, but in reality we all know this serves no worth while purpose. So I shall strive to live each day to it's fullest, enjoy life's little pleasures, and try to have one hell of a great year. I wish each and every one of you the same!   As I sat at my computer last night I could hear the pine trees snapping and falling all around my neighborhood. At one point I heard several trees very nearby breaking off and falling to the ground. My dog was freaked by the sound of falling tree limbs and the power dimming and going back on again. When the power went off for the last time, we sat here in total darkness. That's when I decided it was probably a good idea to unplug, and go to bed. When I woke up this morning I had power again, but not many limbs left on my trees. Just surveying the damage out the window, it doesn't look as bad as it sounded last night. I'm glad of that. The last thing I need right now is a tree sitting on my house! I'm sure as I drive through the neighborhood later today, I'll see tons of damage from the falling limbs and trees. That's to be expected when you live in a neighborhood with only pine trees. On a happier note, I'm planning another trip. This trip will be to Florida to look for a new place to live. My mom and I leave early Thursday morning and we'll be gone for 2 weeks. I spoke to my oldest brother on the phone last night, he told me he'd lined up a real estate agent to show us around. I'm very excited at the prospect of moving, but terribly worried that Florida is going to be far more expensive than I can handle. If that's the case, I'm not quite sure what I will do, or where I will go. When my brother and his wife came home for Christmas, they brought some real estate catalogs with them. I have looked through all of them and I've only found one place I like that I can afford. It sounds terrific, and even the pic looks nice, but my brother tells me "it's WAY out" from him. I spend so much time and energy pretending to be happy that occasionally I even convince myself of it for brief periods of time. I'm sure alot of this is just having my life so unsettled for so long. I'm definitely one of those people that needs a stable life. When any part of my life is disrupted it effects me alot. When everything from my marriage, my financial future, my home and where I'll live next is at stake, it makes it even more unsettling for me. Tomorrow is another 3 month check up for me. Along with the normal questions I have reguarding my FMS and CFIDS, I also have a few other questions I'd like to talk to my doctor about. Things that just don't seem normal to me. I'm sure none of them are very important, but my doctor is also a friend. There are times when I can talk to him about things that most people don't seem to understand. When I think about moving away from South Carolina, I think one of the few things I will miss is my doctor and our friendship. In the twenty years I've been sick, I've only had 2 doctors that had any knowledge of FMS. My present doctor is one of the two. I don't look forward to going through the whole process of finding another doctor, but the more thought I give to moving, the more I realize it's the only choice I really have. For years I've lived in this state and felt entirely cut off. Cut off from other people, from the world as a whole, and even cut off from friendships. It's sad to live someplace so long and still not have a friend. Tomorrow will be spent buying last minute things for my trip to Florida, and getting my packing done so we can leave bright and early Thursday morning. I hope y'all have a good two weeks, and barring any unforeseen problems, I should be back in 2 weeks! I remember the last time I drove here, I had made the 12 hour trip easily in one day. It's amazing how much has changed for me in just 5 short years. Since my mom got the guest room, I am sleeping in the Den. This is good and bad. The good part is the computer is located in the den (grin), the bad part is the foldout couch leaves alot to be desired. I tried and tried to get into a comfortable position last night, but it was no use. Finally at 4 am this morning I got up, went out on the back porch and sat there till the sun came up. Oh how nice it is to be some place where it's nice and warm at 4 am. I have to smoke outdoors here, but that's fine with me. There is a lake in the back yard, and I just love to sit and watch the water. The birds here are also very entertaining and I could watch them for hours. Naturally when everyone else woke up around 8 am, I was dead tired. I made my way back here to the Den and curled up on the couch. I found out that the couch is much more comfortable than the fold out bed part. I slept soundly for 2 hours. The afternoon was spent just sitting on the porch by the pool and talking. Later in the afternoon we decided to go to a flea market nearby and do some shopping. I bought the kewlest hat! It is a cowboy type hat, shiny gold with silver studs all around the base of the hat, and smaller silver studs along the brim. As soon as I saw it I was in love. (lol) In another store I found the kewlest shirt to go along with my hat. The shirt is white, with lots of gold on it as well as alot of silver studs. After shopping we came home, changed clothes and went out to an Italian place for dinner. Naturally I wore my new hat and shirt. My Mom thought the hat and shirt brought out the Jew in me. What can I say? The flashier the better! (grin) The weather here is great, naturally, it is Florida after all. But I'm still undecided as to wether moving here is a great idea. I haven't seen any places to buy, but then we haven't looked for any either. We called a realtor this morning and he's in the process of finding something to fit our specifications. I hope moving here is the right choice. I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted out of my life. Now I wonder if it's truly posible to have what I really want. I never thought finding a man that really loved me would be that hard. But then, I have to remember there is more involved with loving me than with just any old person. Whoever loves me is going to have to deal with my FMS & my CFIDS, let's face it, they're not lining up for that! So here I am, starting all over again. This time around I find myself second guessing any decision I make.....fearfull of screwing up.....yet again. Yesterday my mom and I looked at some villas around here. We saw four places. One that was a dive, another place that was nice, and 2 more places that were so-so. Only one place was in my price range. I was mentally deciding how to decorate it when the realtor mentioned it was an "over 55" neighborhood. I was crushed. The realtor said that he hadn't been able to find anything for me yet since I had a large dog. Another thing that is working against me is the fact that I can't afford to spend alot of money on a place. He mentioned that it was going to be very difficult to find a place that wasn't a dive, that I could also afford. To say I'm not real hopeful is an understatement. I'm not even sure if I'm the Florida type. I just feel like a fish out of water here. In fact I'm begining to wonder just where I do fit in. It would be a whole lot easier if I had some idea of where I was going to live, wether or not I could afford it, and wether it was someplace I could be happy. Tomorrow my friend Clem and her sister-in-law are driving over to spend the weekend. Clem has been one of the reasons I've considered a move to Florida to begin with. She's one of the best friends anyone could possibly ask for, and I'm looking forward to spending time with her and meeting her sis-in-law also. I know we'll all have a terrific time. After replacing the bait (shrimp) a few times I got lucky and pulled in a Blue Runner. It was only 6 inches long, but I was thrilled! At lunch time my brother went in search of take-out for us. I had ordered a cheese burger and fries. Once I'd finished eating I began feeding the birds the rest of my lunch. Between the Sand Pipers and the Sea Gulls, the fries were gone in no time. I was pleasantly surprised to see how friendly the men on the pier were. We talked to several of them over the course of the afternoon. One older gentleman was fishing for bait fish. When he'd gotten a few nice ones he came over and gave me one to fish with. It wasn't long before I had a Barracuda on the line. And it wasn't two seconds later that I'd lost it! (lol) As the afternoon wore on, and the sun changed position, the fish seemed to stop biting. Since I'd already caught one I really didn't care. The weather was perfect, the sky was as clear and blue as can be, with a terrific breeze blowing. I alternated between watching my line and watching the surfers. My brother had been fishing quite some time at this point and he was getting frustrated that his "lil sister" had caught more fish than he had. He began joking how he was going to catch himself a surfer. I said to him, if "you have to get one, get a cute one, and preferably one that's single too!" (lol) While Mark had gone to check on my mom I got the biggest bite I'd had all day. The moment I started to reel in the line I knew I had something really big. I was scared to death that the pole would snap before I could see what I had on the other end. Then all of a sudden I saw what I'd snagged. At first I thought maybe I'd spent too much time in the sun, because on the end of my line was a DUCK! Where this thing came from I have no idea. I hadn't seen any ducks around all day. I thought at first that he had a hold of my bait, but once I got him reeled in closer I could see that I'd snagged him in the ass. (lol) The guy next to me came running over when he saw I was having trouble bringing in my catch. He grabbed the pole from me and another guy from the very end of the pier came running to help. Between the two of them they were able to get the duck onto the pier, hold him down, and remove the hook. In no time at all the duck was on his feet and into the water. We all of us sat around laughing like hell to think I'd caught a duck. Then the man next to me said, "that's nothing, yesterday I caught a Pelican". (lol) After spending 6 hours out in the sun, my body is a little red! In fact I'm so burned it hurts to bend anything. But hey, I had the time of my life, and I had so much fun I really don't care. Of all the crap that has happened to me since the moment we got here to Florida, today is by far the best day I've had in I don't know when. Don got here very early Friday morning. We spent the afternoon riding around town, eating out, and sitting down by the river. There is a spot on the river that has the most beautiful waterfalls. We spent alot of time sitting there, watching the falls, and talking. Saturday we spent the whole day at the flea market. We purchased some of the new Beanie Babies, as well as a gift for my Mom. Sat. evening we went to my Mom's for dinner and cards. Don left this morning for his 8 hour drive back to Pa. I'm waiting for a phone call from him to let me know he got home ok as I type this entry. When he left at noon, it was sleeting outside. Later in the day the sleet turned into large puffy snowflakes. Then later it changed again into 1/2 snow and 1/2 sleet. Finally around 5 pm it went all back to sleet before it stopped all together. | ||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Copyright © 1997 - 2007 As Misty's World Turns. All Rights Reserved. |