Gordon Bombay (Estevez), a successful lawyer, was arrested for a DUI. Sentanced to 500 hours community service coaching a pee-wee hockey team, Bombay is insensed. He hates hockey and doesn't like kids. Why? Because he used to be a very good hockey player. He could have gone all the way to the NHL. After missing a game winning goal by meare inches, his then pee-wee coach lets him know that he let the team down, and is a looser.
District five (D-5), is the worst team in Minneapolis' pee-wee league. The haven't even scored a goal, let alone win a game. They have no uniforms, no equiptment, no coach. Standard game-time atire is any shirt with "D-5" written on it. The goaltender is scared of being hit by pucks. The best player can't finish off good plays. When Gordon Bombay arrives on the scene, he sees what everyone else already knows: the D-5 team sucks. Hell, they're so bad that the Golden Raspberry's wouldn't nominate them!
But with a little money, uniforms and equiptment, as well as coach who actually starts to care about these rag-tag misfits, they might just surprise everybody.
The premis isn't all that bad, but we've seen this story one hundred times before: The Bad News Bears, Hoosiers, The Replacements, Happy Gilmore and most recently in Million Dollar Baby. (However, Million Dollar Baby has a twist and is too good a movie to be ranked anywhere near these other films.) It's the same tried and true method and we know exactly what's going to happen by the end of the film.
Looser athelete/team becomes good and wins the big game. Excuse me, but: *yawn*. The twist in The Mighty Ducks is that the sport is hockey.
So anyway, the D-5 team has a new coach, and he makes them great. You know they are going to win. You knew that before you even saw the film. But, who do they beat? How do they win? That's where the story comes in. Of course the opposition would be lead by Bombay's old coach, the one who crushed his dreams of becoming a great player. Jack Riley (Lane Smith) is the evil coach of the Hawks who teaches that "It's not worth winning if you don't win big!"
What kind of moral is that to teach our kids? In other words, don't play for the love of the game; play to run up the score over your weaker opponent!
And this is a Disney film?
This is a movie about Hockey, but obvisouly the screenwriter didn't bother to consult a rulebook. We have the basics of the game, that's about it. "Just bend the rule to suit our needs! That's the Hollywood way!"
It isn't just the ignoring of the rules of hockey that makes this film aweful. The scene which opens the movie shows us several of the D-5 kids being chased by some guy because they pulled a prank on him. The scene is sped up (like the film is being fast-forwarded to save time) and is totally out of place. It just dosn't belong. The cheesy "Quack! Quack! Quack!" chant is totally lame, and again, who didn't know that the Ducks were going to win???
Once again, this is a BAD movie. With lack-luster dialogue like "Wuss Breath!" (Yah, that will instill fear in the hearts of their opponents!) and the quacking chant and an average performance by Brat-Packer Estevez, The Mighty Ducks is nothing more than a promotional gimick used to show case the quickly-forgotten-by-Disney NHL franchise, The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. (Or was it the other way around?)
Plot: 
The plot revolves around hockey, but the film plays fast and loose with the rules and totally wrecks any dramtic tension there could be.
Visual Effects:
The hockey cinematography isn't bad, but the rest of the time it is terrible.
Sound:
There are a few songs in the film and they are OK, one of the better things bout the film. However, the song's don't add much of anything to the film.
Character Development:
Who didn't know that the looser team was going to win the big game? OK, to be fair, The Bombay character does grow up a lot with help from the Hans GOD-teacher architype mentor.
Atmosphere:
For little kids or the average sports nut kid, this film will give you 100 minutes of peace and quiet. Don't waste your time, though.
Realism:
While the movie is about hockey, it's just the shell of the game. It's Hollywood's version of the game.
Warren’s Rating:
2/10 Is the movie worth your time to watch?
07-07-05
