On being a Bear

What is a Bear? Ask three different self-described Bears and you will have at least four different answers. So how do I define it? The Bear movement is a relatively recent gay subculture, formed by men who did not fit the "Greek God Adonis" model prevalent in gay culture and by men who did not find that model of masculine beauty attractive. "Bear" is a term which is defined uniquely by each person who uses it. Some allow wide lattitude, others have a set of requirements more rigid and inflexible than Mosaic Law. Bears usually (not always) share at least some of the following attributes:

• Hairiness-facial (optional according to some, necessary according to others), bodily (optional according...well, you get the picture), or both.
• Substance-a certain heftiness of build, one of the more noticeable differences from the previously stereotypical gay "ideal".
• Attitude-For some Bears this is the least important, for others it is the single most important element. At its best, the Bear attitude is one of acceptance of one's own body, acceptance of one's own likes and dislikes, and acceptance of one's differences not only from the larger society but from mainstream gay society as well. Perhaps "acceptance" is a poor word--let's go for "celebration".

For me the attitude is important. When people proclaim they are Bears, I will treat them as Bears. I may like them (or not), I may find them attractive (or not), but I would never be so rude as to suggest they cannot be what they think they are based on purely physical attributes.

One magazine which caters to the community has the caption "Masculinity-Without the Trappings" emblazoned on its cover every month. I don't normally find philosophical insights on the cover of an adult magazine, but for me that is the ideal of being a Bear. It is a worthy goal, not only for Bears but for all gay men--indeed, I would suggest it is a worthy ideal for all men, gay or straight. I try to be particularly careful not to merely change one set of trappings for another, equally rigid and constricting.

Please use your browser's "BACK" button to leave this cul-de-sac on the information superhighway.