RETAM SULLET - PART SIX

The reception was held in a small but well-appointed hall. The wild revelry consisted mostly of Yves and a dozen hackers swilling beer and Dr. Pepper and talking shop. Byers drank and drank and smiled pleasantly at everyone. He was well on his way to being stinking drunk. Jimmy had disappeared shortly after the bar opened. The bride was sitting on the groom's lap. The two of them appeared to be enthralled by something they were doing on a laptop in the far corner of the room.

Frohike rolled his eyes. He was going over the few photographs he had managed to get them to stand still for. Thea and Langly, side by side, heads together, arms around each other's waists. A matched set, like a pair of salt and pepper shakers.

He was surprised to see two extra images in the camera's memory. They were clearly Mr. and Mrs. Langly's handiwork, but he'd be damned if he could figure out when they'd taken them. To the best of his knowledge, the camera had never left his pocket. That sticky fingered little wench, he thought without rancor. She probably thought it was funny.

Langly had had much better luck getting Thea to smile. She looked like Scully with her high beams on. Langly himself looked like a completely different person in the picture Thea had taken. Same nose, same hair, same chin. It was Langly, all right, but not him at all. There was no other way to describe it.

Jimmy burst in, breathing hard. He all but ran to where the bride and groom were hunkered over a monitor.

IT'S READY, he signed, tapping Langly's shoulder with what looked like a set of room keys.

"Huh?" Langly said. Thea signed a question mark to her forehead.

"It's our last gift, a surprise from me and Yves, the bridal suite. You know, a romantic weekend," he frowned a little. "Well, it's not really the weekend but-"

"This is...really, you shouldn't have," Langly said slowly. Both he and Thea had looks of decided apprehension on their faces.

"I told you it was a bad idea," Yves yelled across the room.

"Nawww, honey," Jimmy yelled back. "He's just being polite."

"That'll be the day," Frohike muttered, scurrying over in case his intervention was needed.

YOU'VE SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY ALREADY, Thea signed.

HEY, YOU GUYS ARE FAMILY. He leaned down and enveloped them both in an exuberant hug.

Langly made a face that suggested his ribs were cracking.

"Thank him and go to your room," Frohike growled thumping Langly on the back of the skull.

"Sure, Dad," Langly answered.

He didn't sound completely sarcastic.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

They held hands all the way up to their room.

The minute the door was opened, Thea walked through, staring. Well, Langly thought, that answered the thresh hold question. It was okay; he knew his limitations. The last thing he needed on his wedding night was a hernia.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Thea signed, agape.

Jimmy The-Wedding-Fairy-With-Testosterone-Overload Bond had not only gotten them The Bridal Suite, he had filled the place with candles. Lit candles. Hundreds of lit candles.

Langly thought it might have been cool, sort of, if they had been a couple of girls.

YOU WOULDN'T THINK A PLACE LIKE THIS WOULD RUN OUT OF LIGHT BULBS, she signed.

Langly smirked. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTIC.

Thea frowned. Romantic was one of those words, he knew, in her opinion, bordered on meaninglessness.

Still, something about the light must have been working for her from the way she looked at him. She just shrugged and pulled her shirt up over her head.

What happened next was difficult to reconstruct. Essentially, Langly backed up to get a better view, tripped, broke a mirror, knocked over some thirty-odd candles, got wax all over the carpet, and started a small fire, which Thea, half-naked, smothered with the bedspread in a matter of seconds.

THERE WENT JIMMY'S SECURITY DEPOSIT, she signed, stomping the spot where the fire had been highest one more time to be certain.

Langly had his right arm thrown over his face. FUCK, I'M SORRY, he signed at last, but his new bride was so busy racing around the suite blowing out all Jimmy's handy work, she didn't notice.

He followed her. JIMMY MEANT WELL, he signed when he had her attention.

DOESN'T HE ALWAYS? DO PEOPLE REALLY DO THIS KIND OF SHIT? IT'S IMPRACTICAL. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ELECTRIC LIGHT? I NEED TO SEE WHAT I'M DOING, she signed as she blew out the fifty or so candles on the dresser.

Langly shrugged.

MAYBE YVES AND JIMMY DO THIS KIND OF THING, BUT I REFUSE, she signed. THAT REMINDS ME. YVES GAVE ME SOME FELLATIO POINTERS. WANT TO RUN A TRIAL AND YOU CAN GIVE ME AN HONEST EVALUATION?

Langly swallowed hard. The idea of Thea getting blow job advice from Yves made him feel dizzy.

She moved toward him.

He backed up. T, I'M GOING TO HAVE A TOUGH TIME AS IT IS.

COME ON, RINGO, IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVEN'T DONE THIS BEFORE. She smiled broadly.

He couldn't help but smile back as he signed, BUT WE WEREN'T MARRIED. AND YOUR LIPS LOOK REALLY...

REALLY WHAT? She frowned.

LUSCIOUS. THAT'S THE WORD - YOU HAVE LUSCIOUS LIPS. AND YOUR PANTS ARE HOT. He was breathing heavily and he kept nodding to himself as he signed. FUCK, REALLY HOT. AND I'M WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL OVER-STIMULATED RIGHT NOW.

Thea raised a skeptical brow. Then she advanced on him until he fell backwards onto the bed. Her next move was to pounce, straddling him.

Prior being taken to bed by Thea Fidelis, sex had been something Ringo Langly did to women. Or to put it more accurately, if he was drunk enough to make some kind of pass and exceptionally lucky, sex was something some undiscerning female LET him do to her or, a couple of incredibly embarrassing times, on her. Now with Thea, all he had to do was show up. And it was very, very good.

The only problem was, in his heart, he had some rather unforgiving ideas about what it meant to be 'a man' and what 'a man' ought to be able to do on his wedding night. Premature ejaculation wasn't one of them. Despite his high goals, it seemed like a real possibility he might come before she got his pants off.

He closed his eyes and felt her hands sifting through his hair. He felt the heat of her crotch through leather and gabardine. Fellatio was completely out of the question.

He was already dead. Or at least that was what he told himself.

Thea slipped off his tie, planted her lips on his Adam's apple.

Ringo made a distinctly unmanly high-pitched whimper in the back of his throat.

Thea unbuttoned the throat of his shirt and dragged her painted lips over the newly exposed skin. It took all his self control not to shake with pleasure. She moved to the next pearly button, kissed the smooth white skin as she proceeded to turn back the cream colored fabric. His hips bucked reflexively against her. He fought to lay still as the third kiss came. Only his elbows jerked as her mouth made contact with the few curly reddish hairs on his pale chest. He wished he knew how many buttons his shirt had. Seven? Twelve? Fuck, her kisses just went on and on. Nine. The answer was nine. His chest was shining wet, his shirt was hanging open and both of them were breathing hard. She casually undid the cufflinks that had nearly defeated Langly and Frohike's combined intellectual powers then she brought his wrist to her mouth like a chick in a vampire movie and sucked. She placed that hand on her upward pointing tit and moved on to the other cufflink.

Lather, rinse repeat. Or something like that.

He was totally incoherent.

She bit her red lips and moved to unbutton his pants with exquisite concentration. Like a frightened rabbit he scrambled out of reach.

IF YOU TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW I WILL COME, he signed wildly.

Thea's brow furrowed. THAT'S HYPERBOLE, RIGHT? she signed.

NO, he signed, IT'S A FACT.

OKAY, TELL ME WHAT TO DO, she signed kneeling on the foot of the king sized bed.

There was a certain irony in the situation. A beautiful woman, topless no less, offering to do whatever he asked, and he wanted her to spend at least the next half hour not touching him. With her shirt on.

He closed his eyes and signed quickly COULD WE DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR A WHILE?

WHATEVER YOU WANT, LANGLY, she signed earnestly.

T, he signed DON'T CALL ME THAT. WE'RE MARRIED.

Thea looked confused WHAT DID I CALL YOU?

LANGLY. I MEAN YOU'RE THEA LANGLY NOW, AREN'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR NAME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. I JUST, YOU KNOW, MY NAME IS RICHARD, IT'S WEIRD FOR YOUR WIFE TO CALL YOU BY YOUR LAST NAME. He frowned at her.

SORRY. She fidgeted.

IT'S OKAY, I'M NOT MAD OR ANYTHING, IT'S JUST WEIRD He signed slower.

RICHARD. DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY CALL YOU THAT? she asked.

MY MOM DID. BEFORE SHE DIED. WELL, SHE CALLED ME RITCHIE, he signed. WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING ON YOUR SHIRT? YOUR TITS AREN'T HELPING ME RELAX.

SURE, RITCHIE, she signed and went to look for her t- shirt.

She came back with her pants off and her shirt on. He still found her attractive but, in a rumpled t-shirt and panties, she was a lot less overwhelming. At least as long as he didn't look at her legs. She sat back on the edge of the bed and he saw the glint of metal on the bottom of her naked foot.

WHAT'S THAT? He pointed.

She picked a coin off her sole YVES MADE ME DO THIS STRANGE THING. SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE, SILVER SIX PENCE IN YOUR SHOE. BEHOLD THE SILVER SIX PENCE. She tossed it to him.

That's when he realized she was wearing a pair of blue panties he had never seen before.

IT'S TRADITIONAL, he signed, BUT I NEVER HEARD THE PART ABOUT THE COIN BEFORE.

Thea was looking at him peculiarly MY NAME IS THEA LANGLY NOW?

IF YOU WANT IT TO BE. WE'LL BE A FAMILY PRETTY SOON. IT WOULD BE EASIER IF WE HAD THE SAME NAME. BUT NOBODY'S GOING TO MAKE YOU.

She stretched out along the foot of the bed holding her stomach, staring up at him for several seconds before she signed HOW ABOUT RICHARD? LET'S ALL BE RICHARD.

It took him a moment to realize she was joking.

He made what he knew Thea called the not-amused-face and stretched out his arms.

Thea rolled onto her side ENTERTAIN ME, RITCHIE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? A PUPPET SHOW? he signed back sarcastic.

TELL ME A STORY. ABOUT NEBRASKA, she signed.

NEBRASKA BLOWS GOATS. He was beaming now; his loathing for his boyhood home was a favorite topic.

IS THAT A TEAM SPORT OR DO THEY DO IT INDIVIDUALLY? She signed raising her eye brow.

BEFORE I WENT TO COLLEGE I HADN'T BEEN OUT OF THE STATE. He thought about telling her about his first day of class at MIT, or the great witch hunt that resulted in his expulsion, but she'd heard both those so many times she could probably tell them herself.

DO YOU EVER MISS IT? she signed. THIS IS THE LONGEST I'VE EVER BEEN ANYWHERE. SPENDER MOVED ME ALL THE TIME.

She had never talked about her life before. When she had come to stay with the guys they would occasionally tell stories about things that had happened to them, but she had never joined in.

Langly suddenly realized he knew nothing about her, in the way he imagined most men knew about their wives. Sure he knew she had his back, no matter what, he knew she loved him, he knew she'd do what it seemed to her needed doing but...had she ever had a pet? A friend other than Gibson Praise? It didn't seem likely.

YOU TELL ME SOMETHING.

OKAY, WHAT? she cocked her head.

ANYTHING. WHAT WAS IT LIKE IN THE TANK? WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT? he signed lazily.

THE SAME AS YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IN YOUR MOTHER'S UTERUS, MOST LIKELY. STUFF-THOUGHTS NOT, YOU KNOW, SELF-THOUGHTS. LIKE 'ISN'T IT FASCINATING HOW PI JUST GOES ON AND ON FOREVER AND IT'S NEVER THE SAME?'

YOU THOUGHT ABOUT MATH?

She nodded.

T, NOBODY THINKS ABOUT MATH IN THEIR MOTHER'S UTERUS. YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT, FOR ONE THING. YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING.

She looked confused. THERE ISN'T SOME PHYSICAL SYSTEM FOR TRANSFERRING INFORMATION FROM MOTHER TO EMBRYO?

NO, he signed. JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE IN YOUR BODY DOESN'T MEAN THEY KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW. HUMANS ARE BORN WITH NOTHING BUT INSTINCT.

Puzzlement clouded her expression. HOW DID YOU LEARN TO READ? AND DO MATH?

FROM TV, he signed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. JUST IMAGINE WHERE I'D BE IF WE HAD MORE THAN TWO CHANNELS WHEN I WAS A KID.

Her brows knit. SO WHEN THE BABIES ARE BORN THEY WON'T KNOW ANYTHING?

He shook his head.

SO EVERYBODY STARTS WITH NOTHING? FROHIKE? BYERS? THEY STARTED OUT NOT KNOWING ANYTHING?

EVERYBODY BUT YOU, he signed suddenly understanding how she could read and write four languages but often couldn't figure out what 'appropriate' meant in any given situation.

TELL ME SOMETHING FUNNY, he signed, hoping for a distraction from the weirdness.

After a moment, she signed, ONE TIME I PISSED MY PANTS IN A FAMOUS TEMPLE.

He wracked his brain trying to think of a famous temple. WHAT FAMOUS TEMPLE? he finally asked.

OUR LADY, she signed.

WHERE'S THAT?

PARIS. YOU KNOW, IT'S IN THAT VICTOR HUGO BOOK.

NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL? YOU PISSED YOUR PANTS IN NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL?

ISN'T THAT WHAT I JUST SAID?

TELL THE STORY, SHAHERAZADE, he rolled his eyes.

THEY SPLIT RHEA AND ME UP- she began.

WHO? he interrupted.

MY SISTER. YOU KNOW, THE OTHER ONE JUST LIKE ME? WE WOULD BE LESS CONSPICUOUS APART. ANYWAY, THIS COURIER WAS SUPPOSED TO HAND ME OFF TO SOMEONE ELSE AT THE TEMPLE-

CHURCH, he corrected.

WHATEVER. BUT THE NEXT MAN WAS LATE. A RAILROAD STRIKE SLOWED HIM DOWN I THINK, AND ANYWAY, THE GUY WHO HAD ME WAS A TRUE ASSHOLE, COULDN'T SIGN, WOULDN'T LEARN EVEN BASIC SHIT, WOULDN'T WRITE WITH ME OR ANYTHING, JUST PUT FOOD IN FRONT OF ME AND THREW ME IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF A TOILET A COUPLE OF TIMES A DAY. SO THERE WE WERE, WAITING AND WAITING AND THE OTHER GUY WAS LATE AND I PISSED MY PANTS. HE WAS SO EMBARRASSED. IT WAS FUNNY, she signed, snorting.

It didn't sound that funny to Ringo. HOW OLD WERE YOU? he signed.

SIX OR SEVEN. SOMETHING LIKE THAT. She scratched the small of her back. WHERE WERE THEY TAKING YOU? He asked.

She spelled R.O.U.M.A.N.I.A.

ANOTHER COMPOUND?

NO, AN ORPHANAGE.

Richard Langly suddenly felt very cold.

IT WASN'T BAD, she assured him. MOSTLY EVERYONE IGNORED ME. THERE WERE NO TESTS OR ANYTHING. FOOD WAS JUST A LITTLE TIGHT.

That did not make him feel better. HOW LONG WERE YOU THERE?

SEVEN MONTHS, she signed. THEY WANTED TO MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE WHO BURNED THE LAB DIDN'T FIND ME. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHY I WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO KILL.

SO HE MOVED YOU AROUND, LIKE A SHELL GAME?

OR THREE CARD MONTE? REMEMBER ATLANTIC CITY? She grinned.

He would never forget. It had been one of her first field trips and she'd stolen 50 bucks from a young sidewalk con artist's wallet while he bilked the gullible before Byers had had a chance to intervene.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO R.H.E.A.? he asked.

She shook her head. NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

YOU EVER MISS HER?

NOT ANYMORE.

CAN I HOLD YOU? It seemed like an appropriate request.

IT'S OKAY TO TOUCH YOU NOW?

He nodded. She slid up to lie beside him. He held her to him face to face.

I'M OKAY. YOU LOOK GOOD IN YOUR SUIT, she signed small between them.

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, NOT JUST OKAY, he signed back.

I AM HAPPY, she signed. SINCE I'VE BEEN WITH YOU GUYS, I'VE BEEN HAPPY. IT'S A GOOD LIFE. HOW COULD I WANT MORE THAN WHAT I HAVE HERE?

If he was her, he would want a lot more than Ringo Langly's sorry ass, but he guessed for someone who characterized a half a year in a Rumanian orphanage as 'not bad,' life at LGM headquarters was dangerously close to utopia. It seemed to him nothing but dumb luck that he had her.

He wasn't sure how to express what he felt. He hadn't read a love poem since freshman comp and even then he had barely paid attention. It had seemed like a load of crap to him then. It didn't now. He wished for a book of good descriptive technical language for what was happening, what it meant. T could read it over his shoulder then she could draw an exploded diagram. Together they would come up with a couple of working formulas so if something went wrong, they'd know how to fix it.

T, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'VE FELT THIS GOOD, he signed back earnestly. THIS HAPPY.

He tried to kiss her but as happened from time to time, both their considerable noses got in the way. Thea, as was her basic nature, took charge, stilling his face between her hands, tilting her own head just so, and sucking at his mouth fiercely. He moaned. His eye lashes fluttered behind his glasses and she stared. He inhaled and smelled her arousal. Instantly, he felt intoxicated. He had an idea.

When she broke the kiss to come up for air he brought his hands between them. I'D LIKE TO TRY SOMETHING. SOMETHING NEW.

SURE, she signed, I'M GAME.

SOMETHING I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE.

YOU'LL BE EXCELLENT. YOU ALWAYS ARE, MANHAMMER, she signed leering at him.

YOU WON'T BE TOO MAD IF I BLOW IT? YOU WON'T LAUGH?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? DOES IT INVOLVE HARNESSES AND A TEAM OF CIRCUS MIDGETS? NOT THAT I'D RULE THAT OUT AS AN OPTION, BUT SOMETIMES A GIRL NEEDS A LITTLE WARNING FIRST.

ORAL SEX.

WE ALREADY HAVE ORAL SEX.

He raised his eye eyebrow in parody of her.

His meaning dawned and she looked delighted. YOU WANT TO PERFORM CUNNILINGUS ON ME?

He nodded, wanting to say something cool or funny. He could think of neither. YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT? he asked. LET ME KNOW WHEN I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK?

She nodded. ABSOLUTELY, she signed, and stripped off her panties without fanfare.

Langly really didn't want to screw this up. Nonetheless, he had some anxiety about how it would taste.

Thea knew fear when she saw it on Ringo's face.

WHY DON'T WE SAVE IT FOR ANOTHER TIME? she signed, then tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, then traced the curl of his lobe with her index finger.

Internally, he thanked her profusely. ARE YOU SURE? He signed bravely.

I REALLY JUST WANT TO FUCK YOU TONIGHT, OKAY. HUMOR ME?

He nodded eagerly.

She removed his glasses, set them on the night stand behind her, and ran her thumb over his long white eyelashes. With both hands, she felt his sharp cheek bones, his hard jaw.

She let him go, wiggling until she sat at the head of the bed. Slowly and tentatively as always, he lifted her shirt, sucking one large dark nipple into his mouth without breaking eye contact. He took her other breast in his hand, noting that it wasn't his imagination, they were getting bigger, heavier. He was so lucky.

He sucked harder. Now her large eyes blinked in an effort to stay open. He smoothed the palm of his free hand over her - over her -

Mons Pubis. That was what she called it. Drove him crazy; she sounded like an anatomy text, with a Latin name for every part.

He said pussy. And he used the term fairly indiscriminately to refer to her clitoris, vagina, labia, and even the act of sex itself, as in 'give me some pussy, T?' It inevitably inspired her to roll her eyes as the sign he used was actually 'kitten.'

Regardless of what it was called, it was already very, very wet.

He slipped one finger into her and moaned. A second finger followed. Then his thumb against her clitoris. She moved, grinding herself against his hand. He brushed his thumb back and forth slowly. He had figured out one thing during the first regular sex of his life; if he gave her slightly less stimulation than he thought she wanted, it tended to work out better. Against all his instincts, he kept it slow.

Then, haltingly, he tried something he'd read about but never done. He pushed his fingers in deep, deeper than he'd ever dared before, curled them inside of her and...

KERPOW! Thea was shaking and bucking and kicking and her back arched up off the bed. If it had been a cartoon there would have been those multicolored action balloons everywhere.

It frightened him enough that he let go of her tits and jumped clear.

She sat up looking disheveled and flushed. THAT WAS EXCELLENT! RITCHIE, THAT WAS EXCELLENT. WHERE DID YOU GO?

He was standing wide eyed at the foot of the bed.

ARE YOU OKAY? he signed, squinting to see her reply.

YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I'M OKAY. I NEVER HAD AN ORGASM LIKE THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE. WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT?

He shrugged, trying to seem casual. FOUND IT ON A SITE.

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN; THE SPREAD OF INFORMATION IS A BEAUTIFUL THING, she signed, still shuddering.

He grinned slyly and crawled back into bed. Then he did something else he had never done before - he stuck his still wet fingers into his mouth. Not exactly cherry Kool- Aid, he thought, but it wasn't bad. Like Swee-tarts, without the sweet. All sharp and tangy, almost metallic. Nothing like he imagined. Maybe next time...

Before he could finish the thought, Thea flipped him onto his back, pulled his pants and shorts down to his knees in one motion, and mounted him.

At first, she moved slowly. He smiled, reached out and touched two fingers to her clitoris. She leaned forward and sucked his ear lobe into her mouth. His hips pushed back raggedly. She bore down, but he knew she was still restraining herself. Three more beats with her pelvis and she was shaking with the effort it took to hold back.

She closed her eyes, threw back her head, dug her hands into his shoulders, and with a shift into overdrive, she began to move furiously. He gasped again and again as her ride became violent.

Langly realized, suddenly, that he was struggling for breath. Thea must have realized it too, because she stopped. For a solemn moment, the two stared at each other. Then, with exaggerated care, she climbed off of him.

SORRY, she signed. I GOT CARRIED AWAY. SORRY.

His wet cock waved in the open air. LAY DOWN, he signed, ignoring his aching shoulders and the tightness in his chest. Her hand prints throbbed on his white body, vivid red, soon to go crushed purple.

Pants around his ankles, he found his inhaler on the floor and settled in on the edge of the bed for a few minutes of undisturbed breathing.

He removed his pants the rest of the way after his wheezing evened out, climbed back onto the bed, but Richard Langly was no Thea Fidelis. He penetrated her gingerly, paying lavish caution to her hard little belly. He sat bolt upright as he fucked her, his hands on her newly smooth legs. His thumb tracing the mole on the inside of her thigh that looked to him like a spot of milk chocolate. He let go and reached to touch her cheek, jerked into her a few more uncoordinated times.

Thea was panting, insensible, and suddenly spasming around him.

As soon as he realized what was happening, he was coming, too. He poured himself into her for twenty seconds that seemed to last much longer.

Her nearly closed eyes shot open with painful exaggeration, and both her hands went to her abdomen.

WHAT'S WRONG? he signed, terrified he had hurt her somehow.

FLUTTERING. THEY'RE FLUTTERING. LIKE WINGS MOVING, she signed, looking surprised and overwhelmed.

He laid his large hands delicately on her belly and felt the tiniest quake.

It was real. She was pregnant. There were real, live people growing inside her because he had fucked her. In his entire life, he had never felt more like a man. Or more like a scared kid.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MOTHER, he signed not knowing what else to say. But the word that came out of his mouth was 'mama.'

She nodded in response.