"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're
making a scene.'"
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important
to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now
quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time,
just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."
"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every
day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear
Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"
"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get
you through life. Number one, 'Cover for me.' Number two, 'Oh, good idea,
boss.' Number three, 'It was like that when I got here.'"