Only in the Philippines...

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A family in the Philippines was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA, sent by their sister. The tiny corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glass cover. When thy opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:

Dearest brothers and sisters, I am sending you our mother's remains
for burial there in the Philippines. Sorry I couldn't come along as the
expenses were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mamang's
body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and 12 cans of Spam. Just divide
it among yourselves. On Mamang's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks
(size 8) for Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mamang's
head for Miloy's sons. Mamang is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts
- one is for Manong Roy and the rest aree for my nephews. Mamang is
also wearing one dozen Wonder Bra (your favorite), just divide it among
yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties that Mamang is wear-
ing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins. Mamang is
also wearing eight Docker pants - Kuya Diko, please get one for your-
self and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on
Mamang's left wrist, please get it. Ate Sol, Mamang is wearing what
you asked for - earrings, ring and neclace - just please get them. Also
the six pairs of Chanel stockings that Mamang is wearing must be di-
vided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the color.

Your Loving sister,
Nene

P.S. Please take care of finding a dress for Mamang for her burial.