Marius is whistling softly to himself as he walks in. He stops short when he sees Kaer, and he blinks for a moment or two. Then he finds his voice, "Heyla! What brings you back to the Hall?"

Kaeryn flips through the hides covering the desk, not really paying much attention to their contents, just flipping, but when she hears Mar's voice, the hides drop and she looks up, giving him a sheepish smile. "A big blue dragon, actually," she moves out from behind the desk to his side and plants a soft, gentle kiss on his cheek.

Marius chuckles softly and leans over to return the kiss, arm holding his mug of klah a bit out of the way. "I was thinking something of that sort. Was just sort of wondering what brought you back /here/." He takes a sip of klah and moves around her. A foot reaches out and snags a spare stool from next to the wall, upon which Mar promptly assumes a perch. His eyes flick to the hides cluttering up the desk, "Some old Records for the Weyr?"

"Actually, since I was on my way over anyway, Torlan asked me to drop those off," Kae admits with a small smile, as she takes a step back and leans against the desk, legs crossed at the ankles in a casual pose. "Since I was already coming," she repeats softly, her eyes closing in a long, slow blink. "Are you done for the evening, then? No classes or research to do, or anything?"

Marius gives her a long look, then makes a face before taking a sip of klah, "There's /always/ more work to be done 'round here. We're practically /swimming/ in apprentices these days. Haven'a had a chance to so much as bloody /journey/ since I was promoted."

"Does that mean you haven't a little spare time...to talk?" Kae's gaze shifts around the room slowly, taking in the sights as if it were her first time in the office. "S'cud was coming by to fetch something for Annly, so I asked him to bring me along. Of course, he had to go back so..." her slim shoulders lift into a shrug and her eyes meet up with his again. "Here I am."

As if she ahd to ask /that/ question. Mar gestures with his klah mug and a slight smile, "I always have time for you, y' know that." He cocks his head slightly to the side, "How /is/ S'cud? I haven'a seen him in Turns..."

"He's going to be a father," a smile touches Kae's lips, and she shakes her head, "it seems like it's spreading through the craft, you know? One after the other after..." her voice trails off and she pushes away from the desk so that she's standing on her feet again. "I came because I needed to speak with you, I don't feel that, well, I'm afraid that... oh shards, what *am* I doing here?"

Marius makes a face and then winks slightly, "Not I, methinks." He falls silent at her words, then looks around, seeing their surroundings for maybe the first time since he entered. A hesitant breath is taken, then, "Well, if we're going to have a talk, why don't we go someplace a bit more comfortable?"

Kae nods her head in agreement and motions toward the door, "You lead the way, because, well, I'm afraid I've spent a little too much time away from here to know where a good, private place might be." A small bag is lifted from the desk and the strap is slipped over her shoulder so that it dangles by her hip.

Marius' Room (#14535)
The room that lays out before you is not as large as some of the other Journeyman residences that you've seen. With the addition of the large bed that is nestled in one corner, it seems almost cramped. Instead of a window, the opposite wall holds one of the few hearths in this wing of the Hall. Though the Istan nights hardly warrant such a device, the ever-present pot of klah shows that Marius definitely takes advantage of the situation. A small desk resides along one of the other walls, with the stacks of hides constantly growing higher. The glows that light the room are hung above the desk, their light brightly illuminating the room. The only other furniture in the room, an instrument rack and a clothing press, sit precariously close to each other and occupy the final section of wall-space, while a a wovern rug covers most of the stone flooring.

Marius tosses her a slight smile as they come into his place, "Forgive the mess. Haven't been many visitors through here, recently." He waves her to take the only chair in the room while he sits on the end of the not-quite-made bed.

Glancing at the chair and shaking her head, Kae makes her way over near the hearth and keeps her body turned so that she's studying the fire instead of Marius. "I shouldn't be here, but I had to come," she begins softly, the fingers of both hands beginning to work through her curls, plaiting the strands together into a small rope. "I don't know what I'm doing, Mar, or what I've done, but I spoke with Oli the other day, and she said, well, she was right, I need to be sure, and..." pale blue eyes are shifted to gaze upon Mar, where he sits upon his bed. "I just need to be sure. I can't base a decision on what I think is best for Bren, I need to know what's best for me."

Marius kicks off his walking boots and sits cross-legged on the bed. He just looks at Kaer, mouth opened a bit as he starts to reply. Then he thinks better of it and just closes his mouth. His eyes search her face, and he takes another breath to calm himself, "Kae...we've already talked about this. I mean...T'rell has what you need, nae?"

"I don't really think that we talked about it the way that I should have, though," Kae replies quickly, shaking her head as she turns so that she's facing him completely. "I feel, kind of, as though you and T'rell decided *for* me, and I'm still spinning. I called *you* when I was scared, Mar, doesn't that mean anything to you? I needed *you* to take care of me. That means something to me..." A step is taken away from the hearth, and she licks her lips to dampen them. "I know what's best for Bren, she should be at the weyr, with her father, so I can't be *here*, but that doesn't mean I made the decision to....turn my back on you."

Marius sighs softly and stands. He almost takes that one step towards her, towards what he thinks she's offering. But he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath first. The lids open once more to reveal the blue orbs, once more that sea-green color. "Kae, listen to me. T'rell and I didn'a decide anything 'for' you. You made the decision long before I left." He glances into the fire briefly, then looks back into her eyes, "It means a lot to me that you called me for help when you needed it. But..." He just shrugs, "T'rell couldn'a have been there, or else y' would have called him. Asides, that's what friends are for, nae?" His voice /almost/ catches when he pauses for a quick breath, "To...be there when you need me?"

Kae shakes her head again, moving a little closer to him, but keeping just enough distance so that she can't reach out and touch him the way she wants to. "I can't let you go that easily, Marius, don't you know that?" her voice cracks as she says the words, but she forces herself to continue anyway. "I didn't have time to figure my heart out, much less decide what to do about it. Maybe I still don't know, but I do know that I can't just...walk away." Her slender fingers touch the friendship knot that rests against her throat and she looks down, "Bren needs me, and she needs T'rell, but I need you too. Can't you understand that I can't just... I didn't say no, Marius."

Marius turns away slightly, not quite sure how to handle that. But he knows that he can't afford to look into those blue eyes for much longer. His eyes search blindly for something, anything, to focus on. A crooked knot in the stone formation of the wall seems to do as he latches on to that for some solidarity. His voice sounds shaky, even to his ears, but he presses on, "Kae...I know it's hard to let go. But, we never..." He hesitates, "I thought that you'd chosen him. I know that it was more for Bren than for yourself. But Bren is /part/ of you..."

"But how *can* I let go when I'm not even sure what I'd have if I *stayed*?" Kae reasons softly, her hand reaching out to touch his arm, just barely. "You aren't ready to be a father, Marius, not for someone else's child, and I could never ask you to try to be, which is why I can't leave the weyr. Bren *needs* her father, and I can't raise her on my own, I'm not... I can't do that, and letting someone else raise her for me isn't an option." Her hand is pulled away, returning to her hair, now undoing the braid she'd just done, her attention focusing on it for a moment. "You're right, she is part of me, and I need to know if you can love that part of me too."

Marius turns slightly at her touch, not truly certain where his emotions are leading him. His eyes can't help but find hers again, "I told you once that I'd try. You're right, I'm not ready to be a father..." A slight smile crosses his lips, "At this rate, I never will be. But Bren...how could I /not/ love her?" He reaches out and gently runs a finger down Kae's jawline, "Frag it Kae, I don't know what you want from me. I can be there as a friend, always. And I can love every single lovely inch of you."

"I don't think that, at this point, I *can* choose, either you or him, completely, but I need to do it for me, and not for her," Kae's eyes flutter closed at the touch, and her words trail off into nothing. Her fingers wrap around the hand that touches her cheek, and her eyes open once again, "I'm not trying to hurt you, my dearest friend. I don't want to make this harder on you than it already is, but I can't turn away without knowing, without a doubt..."

Now those sea-green eyes darken slightly in confusion. Mar wets his lips, then softly speaks, "What are you asking of me, Kaer?"

Kaeryn takes a deep breath and forces herself to turn away from him again, her voice shaking as she speaks, "I don't know, Marius, I really don't. I don't know how I wound up here, but I *had* to come. I *had* to be here, where I am, with you, I had to..." Her head shakes, and she reaches back to push her hair back over her shoulder, "I couldn't stand not seeing you, or touching you."

Now it's his finger silencing /her/ words, "Kaer..." He sighs and looks away, "Maybe this wasn't the best place to have this conversaton, nae?" He takes in a deep breath, but still can't meet her eyes, "Maybe we should talk about this tomorrow. After we get some sleep and..."

"Can't I stay?" Kae looks over her shoulder at him, the rest of her body slowly following suit so that she's facing him again, her fingers touching his chin. "Please, Mar, just.... can't I stay? S'cud won't be back until morning.."

"Kae..." Mar's jaw works, but no words seem to be coming out. Finally, he just nods, gesturing to the bed, "It's all yours. I'll just go see if there's anyone in the guest room..."

Kaeryn's hand reaches out, grabbing his arm gently, holding him close, "That isn't what I meant. Can't I, just tonight, sleep here with you. Just once, sleep in your arms?" Her blue eyes flicker in the light of the glows, a pleading look touching them. "That's all I'm asking, right now... just once."

Marius can't hide any more from it. He stops at her touch and turns back to her. His eyes meet hers, searching for a moment. Then he aquiesces and simply nods, "Aye. If only this once, aye..."

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