T'rell glances up from where he slouches in the chair, lowering a hide to his knees. "Awake?" he asks softly.

Kae stretches her arms up above her head and her eyes flutter slowly. "Enough, I suppose?" she replies, softly.

T'rell puts the hide aside and with a glance spared for the sleeping Brencia, he crosses to Kaeryn's side with a smile. "Well, now that you're awake," he pauses to steal a light kiss as he caresses her golden hair, "I need to go join Sejith at the beach. He's complaining that he itches again." A crooked, apologetic smile.

"Give him my regards," Kae replies softly as she reaches up to carress T'rell's cheek. "And don't be too long, and we can have a bit of dinner together later?" she requests as she gets to her feet and lifts her arms up over her head in a feline-like stretch.

T'rell rises reluctantly. "I'll be back in a little while, soon as I slather grease on that dragon o' mine. Or if you've got the time, come outside. It's not too hot today. And dinner, absolutely." Always encouraged by the reward of food after hard work, he heads for the door.

Puddles> T'rell strides in from the Kae's Place.

Puddles> Marius blinks and moves out of the way as T'rell exits Kaer's room. He looks the rider over for a brief moment, searching for any sign of tenseness. "G'eve, Rider."

Puddles> T'rell halts in surprise. "Marius." He smiles. "Kae just woke up in there, so just give a knock," he advises good-naturedly. "Hope I'll be back before you're gone again." He picks up his stride again with a quick nod.

Puddles> Marius knocks at the door leading to Kae's Place and announces himself.

Kaeryn turns toward the door, arms still above her head in a semi-stretch and calls out quietly to the person on the other side of it, "Come on in!" Eyes slip closed again and she tilts her head back, stretching the tired muscles in her neck.

Marius looks over his shoulder as he walks in, a slightly confused look on his face. But that melts away when he sees Kaer. He pauses and leans against the cool stone of the doorframe, a soft smile on his face, "Hello there, lady mine."

Kae's eyes slip opened again, and a sparkle appears in her no-longer sleep-hazy eyes. "Mar!" she exclaims, as well as one can exclaim in a whisper. Arms slowly slip down to her side as soon as she realizes that they are still in the air.

Still lurking in the doorway, Mar jerks his head back the way that he came, "I ran into T'rell on the way up. Didn't interrupt anything, did I?" He moves into the room, his easy pace belying the tension that /could/ have been held in those words, "If I was, I can come back later..."

Curls of gold bounce around the dolphinsinger's tanned face as she shakes her head in negation. "No, I was sleeping, actually, and as I woke," she nods her head in the general direction of the bowl, "he was summoned by Sejith. I *think* he was looking over the threadfall charts I recopied for him." A few small steps are taken in the direction of the doorway, and the man standing there, "what brings you here?"

Marius's lips twitch slightly at the thought of the horrid timing that the men in Kaer's life seem to have sometimes. He shrugs slightly and lays a hand on the travel-pack slung over one shoulder, "Just some new sheets of music for the Weyr. Master Caramak was going to send an apprentice, but I told him I needed some time outside of the Hall..."

"Does that mean you're going to stay for a few days?" Kae asks softly as she finally moves close enough to wrap her arms around Mar's neck in a slow, affectionate hug. "It's wonderful to see you, of course," she whispers against his throat as she squeezes him close.

Marius returns the hug, and makes a noise low in his throat, "I think I'd better. I'm at the point again that if I so much have to listen to /one/ more apprentice butcher "Moreta's Lament" I'm going to snap..."

Kaeryn laughs softly and nuzzles her head into the crook of his shoulder, "You are always welcome here, to stay as long as you wish, you know." Finally, she takes a step backwards and slips her hand into his to lead him the rest of the way into the room. "Bren is actually napping, for once, so we actually have a little time for me to just be... not mom?"

Hand in hand or no, Mar chuckles to himself as he follows Kaer further into the room. He noticeably softens his voice in deference to the slumbering infant, then looks to Kaer, "Should we go somewhere else, then? Wouldn't want to disturb Bren's beauty sleep..."

Head shakes again in response to the question, and Kae is forced to grin, "I still don't trust many people to keep an eye on her, I'm afraid. And T'rell is out with Sejith so..." Pausing at the infant's crib to adjust the quilt that covers her sleeping form, she looks from her daughter to Marius and back, looking lost in thought.

Marius glances up to the firelizards floating about, "Aye, I guess you're right. I don't really know if I'd entrust mine to anyone else, e'en my Enj or Llewyn." He moves glances around and motions to the rugs, "Might we have a seat? I think Jeranium back at th' Hall played a trick on me. The rider that I got felt like he was trying t' split me in half..."

Kaeryn gazes upon her sleeping daughter for a moment longer before forcing her eyes away from her and toward the bed. "Of course, though you'll have to settle for the bed if you want to sit comfortably, since neither of my chairs are exactly comfortable," she explains apologetically as she moves toward the bed, pulling him along behind her.

Certain alarms start going off in his brain as Marius is led towards the bed. He hesitates for a moment, then flashes a smile to try and cover his hesitation, "Ack, Kaer. I've half of the dirt from the Hall to 'ere on my clothes. Wouldn'a want to spoil your bedcoverings." Mar's carefully hidden accent becomes slightly more open as tired as he is, "Asides, wouldn'a want T'rell to come back and..." He looks away for a moment, then back to her, the smile spreading to his eyes once more, "I'm sure the chairs are just fine..."

Kaeryn's shoulders lift into a semi-shrug, and she motions toward the chairs, "Suit yourself, though I'd suggest that one," she points at the chair near the foot of the bed, "as opposed to my desk chair. *It* is very stiff." With another shrug, she slips down onto her bed, and tucks her feet up beneath her, carefully spreading her skirts out to cover her legs.

Brencia stirs lightly, a soft sigh as her fingers grasp the quilt in her sleep.

Marius smiles slightly and nods, sliding the carry-case over his shoulder and setting it on the floor as he slips into the chair. A sigh of relief escapes his mouth, echoing the slumbering youngling's so well that he can't help but grin in apology. After a brief glance toward Kaer, his travelling boots follow the case and land with soft *thumps* on the floor. His eyes flicker towards the door, then back to Kaer, "So, what have you told T'rell??"

Kaeryn's pink lips form in the shape of a startled 'o', and she just sits there, eyes unblinking for a moment. "I, um, well..." she licks her lips nervously and her gaze shifts down to her hands in her lap. "I haven't figured out *what* to tell him," she admits quietly.

The lips twitch again. Mar's eyes twinkle slightly in the light of the sunset, "I suppose we hadn'a quite gotten that far, nae?" He sighs, "Something to think about. And soon."

"Soon?" Kae repeats the word, blinking slowly again, a slight look of confusion on her face. Head is shaken, as if she's trying to clear the thoughts and confusion from her mind and heart. "I.." she licks her lips nervously.

Marius cocks his head slightly, eyes locking upon the apparent indecision, "Aye. We at least need to /think/ about what we're going to tell him, nae? If y' want t' try and keep things about us quiet, then we need to talk about that as well." That last comes out a bit harshe than Mar intended, and he winces slightly to try to take the sting out of the words.

Kaeryn reaches over and pulls a pillow from atop the pile that rests at the head of her bead, and her fingers begin pulling nervously at the seams. "I just don't know what to... say, or do or..." she shakes her head quickly, frowning slightly. "I don't want to hurt him, or you," she chews on her lower lip, the stress of the decision causing a darkness to appear in her usually bright eyes.

Marius looks over her once more, then glances away. He reaches over and retrieves his boots, pausing only to shove them on before standing up. He turns back to Kaer, his own eyes restless and a sea green instead of their usual sky blue, "I thought..." He trails off and looks away once more, "I don't know what I thought." He gestures to the carrypack, "What I was sent to bring you's in there. I'll be around the Weyr for a few days." His eyes start to find yours once more, but he can't bring them to meet yours, preferring to fix on the pillow in your hands, "Whatever you decide...try and find me before I leave."

"Mar.." Kae gets to her feet to stop him from walking out the door, her hand reaching out to grab his arm. "Don't, please, don't go, not yet, not without.." she looks up into his eyes, her own reflecting the confusion that she feels in her heart. "I do care about you, Marius, my dearest of dear friends," she tries to explain, whispering softly as if afraid to admit too much if she speaks up. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember, don't you know that? But... I love him too, and I don't want to hurt him, or you. I'm afraid that by choosing one, I'm going to completely lose the other forever."

Marius hesitates, then turns back to her. His eyes still refuse to meet hers, but he gently reaches out a hand and cups hier cheek in it. His eyes close for a moment, then open again as he draws in a breath tinged with the scent of Kaer, "I know. I told you this once, and I'll say it again. I've lived for more Turns than I care to remember as your friend. A loved one, yes, but a friend. If it's what you want...if it's what you /need/, then that's what I'll be. I can forget everything that's happened these past few sevenday, an' go back to what we had. I just..." He bows his head, "I canna go on with this 'aye-then-nae'. I need to know, Kaer. Not now, not this instant, but I need to know."

Kaeryn's posture slumps into a shell of the spirited harper's stance, and she takes a deep, shaky breath. "I don't *want* us to go back to what we have been for so long. I *can't*.. not after all this time of...wishing that you'd see me the way I've been seeing you." Her head shakes slowly from right to left, and the tears that are forming in her eyes threaten to fall, forcing her to wipe them away.

Brencia squirms, tossing the quilt aside in her sleep before she quiets again.

Marius leans forward, pressing his lips to her forhead for an oh so brief moment. Then he turns away. His shoulders raise and drop in a huge sigh, then his voice softly makes its way to her ears as he repeats himself, "I'll be here for few days. Find me when you know what you need."

"I..." Kae begins to say something, but she lets the silence prevail as she realizes that nothing she can say can make things better for him at the moment. As he pulls away, and her fingers slip from his arm, she finds herself looking at his back and sighing, just nodding her head as her only show that she understands. "My door is always open for you," she whispers quietly before reaching over to touch the doorknob and twist it open.

Marius's eyes darken as he convinces himself that he hears much more than those words in her tone. The rest of his body doesn't betray his emotions, and he nods once before moving through the doorway into the hall.

Puddles> Marius walks with a relaxed pace in from Kae's Place.

Puddles> T'rell strides in from the Craft Areas.

Puddles> T'rell smiles as he enters. "We meet again. On your way in or out this time?" the rider asks jauntily.

Puddles> Marius looks up abruptly as he exits Kaer's room. His eyes fick on T'rell, and a brief flash of emotions run through his blue orbs before he clamps down. A smile affixes itself into place, "Well met again, T'rell. Leaving, actually."

Puddles> "Well, sorry I couldn't visit -- you wouldn't believe the itches that dragon gets," T'rell rolls his eyes, though the slightest change in posture indicates that something might have slipped into his subconscious from the harper's tone. "Come again, eh?" The friendly smile is still there, just as welcoming.

Kaeryn drops back down onto the bed, the tears now freely streaming down her cheeks as the door closes behind Marius. "What am I supposed to *do*, love?" she asks softly to the sleeping infant.

Brencia only stirs, sighing in her sleep without a care in the world

Puddles> Marius gives a slight nod, "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again. I'm at the Weyr for a few days, so we're bound to run into each other, somewhere." His own smile seems just as warm on the surface, but a subtle hint of something cooler manages to seep through his Harper-trained exterior, "If you'll excuse me, I've got t' find the baths. With only the four feet of a runner to carry you, one tends t' collect a bit of dust on the trip up."

With another sigh, Kae allows herself to lay back on the bed, where she finds the pillow her arms had just been wrapped around, and pulls it to her chest.

Puddles> T'rell nods understandingly. "So I see," he adds with a chuckle. "Enjoy, then." Relaxed, he continues toward Kaeryn's door. "Hope you brought some good tunes," he calls back, an afterthought as he knocks.

Puddles> Marius continues on his way, then looks back with slightly narrowed eyes. He shrugs, and moves on, wondering how exactly T'rell knew why he'd come.

T'rell closes the door behind him softly, so as not to wake their daughter. He crosses to sit on the bed next to Kaeryn. "Have a nice visit?" As he takes in more of woman's posture, his smile mixes with concern. "You alright?" He lays a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Kaeryn shifts her upper body so that her head rest on T'rell's lap, her arms still holding the pillow against her chest, and the tears continue to roll down her cheeks. Her usually smooth jawline is sharp with angles due to the fact that it's clenched tightly.

T'rell, thoroughly alarmed now, leans over Kaeryn, embracing her almost roughly in his haste. "Shh," he tries to soothe. "What is it? What happened?" Bewildered, he strokes her hair and kisses her tears.

Kae's eyelids slowly part, revealing still teary, pink eyes, and allowing more tears to slip down her already tear-stained cheeks. After a few moments of just being held, her tears begin to slow, and her breathing slows from the ragged one of her emotional outburst to the slower, smooth ones of the usually calm and sure harper.

T'rell starts to relax a little as Kae seems to be calming; still, he runs a gentle hand over her shoulder and arm in a gesture of love and support. "What happened?" he repeats his question softly, his brown eyes seeking to find her blue ones in plain and honest care for her.

"I d-didn't mean..." Kae stammers as she tries to speak, though apparently not yet calm enough to make sense. "I d-didn't think... I d-d-didn't kn-know," she mumbles between the short, quick breaths that suddenly return. Eyes are squeezed closed again, and the pillow is hugged tightly enough to cause her knuckles to appear white.

"Shh. It's okay," T'rell reverts to just trying to soothe whatever pain Kaeryn is feeling; the specifics don't even matter right now. "It's alright, Kaeryn. I love you." In the unconscious flow of a bumbling attempt at concern, a grain of truth might be found. "Shh."

Kaeryn's eyes flutter open again so that her now red eyes can stare into his, the confusion present in them moments before becoming compounded. "You d-do?" she asks in disblief, "I-I-I love you t-too," she stumbles the words out through her sobs, and pulls herself more up into his lap so that her face is pressed against his shirt."

T'rell embraces Kaeryn, confused again, and leans his bearded cheek down to rest in her hair. "Of course," he murmurs. "What did you think?" Around her shoulders, his arms tighten in an almost desperate need to staunch her tears.

"I don't know," Kae whispers softly as she allows herself to just be held close and actually calms down enough to breathe like a normal person again, though her thoughts are obviously not clear enough yet. "I... here because.. Brencia..." she tosses random words out, until she realizes she's not making sense at all, and tries again. "I know y-you care but I th-thought you just w-wanted me here so B-brencia would be."

T'rell breathes deeply. "Kaeryn," he starts, but the words don't flow, they're not organized enough in his mind either. He squeezes her tightly, trying not to break anything while still communicating through body what should have been clear already, but wasn't. "Kaeryn -- Brencia is here _because_ I love you."

Kaeryn lifts a hand to brush the remnants of her tears away from her cheeks, still sniffling occassionally, but obviously calmer than she was. Pillow is surrendered to the bed so that her arms can wrap around his neck in a tight hug, and her face finds it's way into the crook of his shoulder.

T'rell sighs, gathering Kaeryn in close as he breathes in the fragrance of her hair; he simply holds her, tightly, as long as he can even until the stiff riding jacket creaks in protest.

Kae's tense body finally relaxes in T'rell's embrace, and she allows herself to pull back from him, and settle herself down on the bed again, resisiting the urge to reclaim the pillow she'd deserted. "I need to tell you something," she whispers softly as her fingers search for and find his, where they become entwined.

T'rell's fingers reach to touch Kaeryn's arm, retaining the light contact. "Alright," he nods slowly, his deep brown eyes searching Kaeryn's expression.

"Marius," the harper lady begins, after taking a long deep breath. "Marius has been my friend, my best friend, for turns now. I was 14 when I first became a part of the harper hall, and he was the first friend I ever made." Her fingers shake nervously as she tries to tell the story of where it all began. "Jerran, he wasn't the first man I ever loved. Mar, he was, but I never told anyone, not even he..." She pauses, chewing on her lower lip as she gathers the words, trying to form them into a way that will get her point across, without hurting him. "12 turns. We've been friends for 12 turns... and now, he tells me that he loves me that... that he wants me to be with him."

"Well, his timing could've been better," is the first quiet, analytical thought out of T'rell's mouth. He sits a moment longer, first gazing across at the wall without really looking at anything, then studying Kaeryn thoughtfully. He almost speaks again, but stops, exhaling without completing whatever the thought was.

"I *do* love him, T'rell," Kae whispers softly, unable to let herself look T'rell in the eye, not yet at least. "I didn't realize how much I still cared for him until he told me but... I have you, and I love you so much more than I ever thought possible." She licks her lips, using the time it takes to do so to figure out what to say next. "It's hard to... to know what to say, to either of you. He told me the other day, and today, he came wanting to know what I had decided..." She lifts her hand and runs the tips of her fingers across T'rell's cheek.

Hope chases pain across T'rell's features and softly, very softly, he tries to sound lighthearted and sure; "And you've decided to stay, right?" He looks down at Kaeryn's knee for a moment, but then his gaze travels across the room to rest ot the crib, on Brencia, sleeping so peacefully.

"I could never take her from you," Kae offers him this promise as some sort of a comforting thought, and as a way to admit that she hasn't yet made a decision. "I could also never stop loving you. Or him. I..." tears begin to well up in her eyes again, and she rubs irritably at them, trying to force them away. "Knowing that you love me makes the decision even harder than I already thought it was."

T'rell takes in Kaeryn's words without comfort, and his expression grows distant even though he continues to stroke Kaeryn's arm -- so lightly now that his fingertips just trail over a fingerlength of her smooth skin. For several long moments he simply breathes, a measured, drawn out rhythm of silence. When he finally speaks again, his tone is as distant as his expression. "I could ask you to stay," he begins; nothing can quite mask the complete bewilderment in his eyes or the slight thickness to his tone. "But it would still be your decision." He looks down again, his jaw set, and with a last squeeze of her fingers, his hand retreats from the savored touch. "I can't do anything but let you choose, I guess." Abruptly, he runs a hand through his unruly hair, a self-conscious gesture.

The tears Kae's been trying to hold back begin to, once again, stream from her eyes, and she doesn't bother to wipe them away. Slinking back against the wall that her bed rests against, she tucks her knees up against her chest and wraps her arms around them, like a scared child. Head is bent over so that her forehead rests against her knees, and the tears soak into the soft fabric of her dress. Soft sobs cause her entire body to shake, echoing, then, through the bed that T'rell's seated on. "I..I...I'm still h-here," she manages to stammer out through the tears, though whether it's understandable to any but herself...

"Faranth, Kaeryn!" T'rell exclaims softly, turning his face toward her again, his features drawn in a mask of conflict. A supplicant, he leans his hands upon her tucked knees. He closes his eyes, just existing for what seems a long while. "Does that mean you'll stay?" The question, so dangerous, is asked.

Kaeryn's sobs become increasingly closer together, and she squeezes her eyes closed tightly in a vain attempt to stop the flow of tears. After many long, carefully controlled breaths, she manages to uncurl herself enough to lift her head, revealing a pink, tear-stained face and puffy eyes. "If I l-lost you..." she whispers softly, shaking her head to show how she didn't think she could survive such an occurrance. "B-but Marius... I... I d-don't think I c-can say I'll ever n-not love you both."

T'rell rests his forehead on Kaeryn's knees, then lifts his gaze again. He purses his lips consideringly; "You don't make it easy, do you?" He shakes his head slowly, too-long bangs dropping to shade his eyes as he looks down at the bed. Gradually, he moves, taking the time now to unlace his boots deliberately, one at a time, shedding them and placing them side by side on the floor. He removes his jacket, its cumbersome bulk folded and draped on the edge of the bed; lightened thus, he shifts onto the bed by Kaeryn's side and gently pulls her hair back from her face, its fine wisps tracing paths with her tears.

"You have no idea what it meant to me, to hear you say you love me," Kae admits quietly as the few last tears that her eyes can manage to squeeze out slip down her cheeks. She uncurls her body from it's tight ball, and moves so that she's resting against T'rell, lightly keeping herself in contact with him without forcing him to be too close. "I...I may have been loving him for a, for a long time but," she gulps softly and lets her eyes close again. "But I love you hard, T'rell. I love you so hard that it hurts sometimes."

T'rell slips an arm around Kaeryn's shoulders so naturally that it seems it should never have been anywhere else, and as he rests there, next to her, he leans his head back against the wall, eyes cast up toward the point where ceiling becomes wall. "I guess," he begins without finishing, then starts again. "I guess -- I was afraid to admit it." He exhales. "I'm almost more afraid of it now." Somehow, he spoke those words just now, so intensely personal that it requests, and requires, more trust of and from Kaeryn than anything ever has.

Kae curls up again, but this time against T'rell so that her head rests against his chest. "I want to be here... I belong here, with you, in your arms, and with Brencia. We're a family...practically." After a few deep breaths, she closes her eyes and continues, but in a whisper, "I can't lie and tell him I *don't* love him. But I don't know how to tell him that I..." Chin is tilted upwards so that she can look at T'rell through half-open eyes, "I need you..."

T'rell closes his eyes and lets loose a sigh which relaxes into a tired smile as he rests his chin on the harper's shoulder, rough beard scratching against her neck as he presses close. "I will always be here, Kaeryn. We _are_ family. More than family." Now that it's out, he affirms it, though it's still soft. "I love you, and I will be here for you."

Kae's sigh is soft, still a little shaky from the tears, but is one of contentment. Curled up against him, she remains silent for several minutes, before finally saying something that she needs to say. "He'll always be important to me, T'rell. Always. And I'll always love him.. I'm here, with you, and want to be here, with you but... please don't ask me to give him up completely because I *can't* do that." Another sigh sounds from her lips and she shakes her head. "I know that's alot to ask of you..."

T'rell wraps his arms around Kaeryn. "Just don't scare me like that again, okay? I think I -- well, maybe I don't understand completely, but I can trust you." He pauses, then adds with a rueful snort, "I have to trust you, because I don't think I could survive this again. I mean," he rationalizes, "I love my sister, but that don't mean I'm about to run off with her, right?"

"I didn't know until now," Kae admits softly, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I would never..." Head is shaken so that her curls slip into her eyes, causing her to pause and push them out of the way. "I didn't know I was going to stay until... until you told me that you love me. I didn't want to stay if you didn't."

T'rell shakes his head slowly. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have needed you to." He hugs Kaeryn tightly as he apologizes. "I'm sorry I didn't -- couldn't -- say what you had to hear. I guess I'm just old 'n set in m' ways..." he jokes, his words light but his tone still intense.

"I didn't mean to *make* you tell me," Kae notes, the tone in her voice apologetic. "But I needed to know, and was afraid, with all my heart, that if I asked, your answer would be no..." Her cheek is pressed against his shoulder, and her eyes slip closed. "I didn't do this to try to make you promise me anything or do anything..."

"I never thought you did." T'rell breathes deeply, content for the moment just to sit there with a harper he never expected to love.

Kaeryn's breathing begins to slow, her heart no longer pounding in her chest, she relaxes enough to actually, maybe, drift off to sleep. "I'll always love you," she whispers softly the moment before she drifts off to sleep.

T'rell strokes Kaeryn's hair, sitting there thoughtfully for several minutes before he sighs, gathers her up as quietly as he can, and lays her down in the bed. As he begins to unbutton his shirt, an incipient cry from the crib summons him and he steps over his boots and reaches down with tender smile to attend to practical matters.

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