What Girls Say And What They Really Mean...

"Can't we just be friends?" -

"I just need some space." -

...without you in it.

"Can you help me with my homework?" -

If I keep whining, the fool will do it for me.

"Do I look fat in this dress?" -

We haven't had a fight in awhile.

"No, pizza is fine..." -

Cheap bastard!

"I just don't want a boyfriend right now."

I just don't want (you as) a boyfriend right now.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

I can't believe that you have nothing planned.

"Come here."

My puppy does this too.

"I like you, but...."

I don't like you.

"You never listen."

You never listen.

"We're moving too quickly."

I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if that guy in Bio is single.

"I'll be ready in a minute."

I AM ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

"Oh, no, I'll pay for myself."

I am just being nice, there is no way I am going dutch.

"Oh yes! Right there!"

Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.

"I'm just going out with the girls."

We're going to get drunk and make fun of you and your friends.

"There's no one else."

I am doing your brother.

"Size doesn't count..."

....unless I want an orgasm.