| Lance stared at Justin from across the small table in the front of the bus. His eyes read total confusion and more hurt than he could ever recall feeling. "Are you sure?" he asked again, his face pleading with Justin's to be sure. Justin nodded, rubbing his hands over the newly formed stubble on his chin. "I am. Jesus, Lance. I wish I wasn't. I wish I was a fucking liar. I wish I'd of told you sooner. I just wish a lot of things." Silently, Lance pulled his gaze from his friend and looked out the window. The trees and mountains buzzed by with alarming quickness, and while nothing would focus outright, he needed the comfort of God's beauty out there. Justin's words rang powerfully in his ears. Abortion. Katlyn had an abortion just three months ago. The very word sent chills down his spine, and pierced his heart. Raised to believe that abortion was wrong was not even an issue. As he grew, he realized the importance of a woman's right to choose, but the fact that she had cheated on him more than once, well, that was too much to swallow. He'd been right in putting her off sexually. He brought his stare back to Justin and sighed. "Why did she tell you?" Justin shrugged, feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders. "We were drunk. It was the same night she told me that you and her hadn't slept together yet. She admitted she'd gotten pregnant from a guy back home and terminated it. I kept it quiet because I thought she just fucked up. I didn't know if you and her were going to get more serious, and I sure as shit didn't want you to kill the messenger." Although Lance heard the words, he couldn't register them. How he'd gotten so screwed over was beyond his comprehension. Hooking up with Katlyn had been the worst mistake of his life. He honestly thought he loved her. His instincts knew better, though. Shaking his head, he stood up. "I gotta....um, I need to get out of here." He felt trapped, and his confused feelings for Justin was making it all worse. Running his fingers through his hair, he glanced around, his stomach rolling mercilessly. "We need to stop the bus or something. I need to get out." Justin jumped up, unsure of Lance's jerky actions. "Dude, calm down. We're almost to the hotel. Just go lay down. I'll call...." "No!" Lance screamed in his face. "I want off now! Do you fucking hear me? I can't take anymore. I've had it. See? This is the edge of the world, and this is me!" He held out his hand, palm up, and used two fingers to simulate a person jumping. "You have no idea what you're fucking horny ass has done!" Justin recoiled at the words, biting on his lip, his eyebrows furrowed with hurt. "I'm sorry, I just thought..." "Save it!" Lance hissed, sensing the rest of the bus waking up. "Just stop the bus. I need to get off." JC, Chris and Joey flew down the narrow aisle, still half asleep, woken by Lance's hysterical shouting. JC laid his hand on Lance's shoulder. "You okay?" Joey looked at Justin for some kind of explanation. "He just freaked out. I told him something about Katlyn and he wants to get off the bus." JC held Lance's shoulders firmly, forcing him down into a chair. "Lance, look at me." Lance squirmed, angry at being restrained. "JC, get off. I mean it. You don't want none of this, man. Just lay off and let me go." His green eyes were wide with hate, and days of frustration. "Where the hell you gonna go?" JC challenged, keeping his hand tight on Lance. "We're on a fucking interstate. You just gonna walk around out here? Just walk until someone hits you with their car on the way to work?" He let up when he felt Lance slump down a bit. "Now, look. I know you're having a rough time now, but we're all here for you." He glanced around at the other three singers, all frozen with the unknown. No one had ever seen Lance so emotional. They just didn't know how to handle it. JC waved them away, trying to get through. "Lance, do you want to see someone? I mean a professional? We can have someone come out to the hotel. Maybe you need to talk." Lance sat up at JC's words, laughing bitterly. "JC! You want me to see a shrink? Has everyone lost their fucking minds?" He jumped up, sending JC stepping backwards. "Hello? Reality check!" Lance paced around the cramped quarters, his hands clentched in madness, his mind going insane. "Okay, let's reveiw. I meet a girl, I like the girl, the girl says she likes me. Said girl cheats, not just once, has an abortion. Said girl doesn't feel the need to tell me." "Shit, Lance. I didn't know..." Lance held up his hand to shush JC, pausing for air. "Girl then cheats with my fucking best friend. Okay, then girl sues me for abuse." He spun around, glaring at JC. "I'm just fine!" he screamed, collapsing into the chair. He cradled his head in his hands and laughed some more. Joey, Chris, and Justin peered out from the back lounge area, concerned at the yelling. JC shook his head, and walked away. "Guys, he's lost it. Seriously. He needs some help. I'm calling someone." Justin sighed heavily, watching Lance's back. His shoulders were shaking with either sobs or more laughter. Justin was hoping it was sobs, because truth be told, laughing like that, well, it was a sign of a breakdown. He just couldn't live with himself if he had caused that. He stepped aside as JC moved past him, making the necessary phone calls. Joey grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it over his head. "I think we should consider the fact he may not be able to go on tonight." Chris shook his head. "He has to. You know how important this show is tonight? There will be like dozens of industry people there. Joe, we've had this shit planned for months. He's got to go on, no matter what." "Oh, no matter if he's lost his mind or not?" Justin countered, his blue eyes glassy with tears. "I say we have him evaluated. If he can't go on, we can't push him." One more look at the figure sitting alone and he shook his head. "If we push him, it could all end very messily." JC returned, worry lines prominant in his face. "The tour manager is setting it up. He'll have a therapist at the hotel." Justin pressed his lips together. "You know she dropped the charges. This morning. But she's going to meet with him tonight." "Hell no!" JC seethed. "She's not seeing him ever again. No way." He shook his head angrily and flopped down on the couch. "If she thinks she's endangering him or us again, un-uh. Not in this lifetime." "We don't have a choice. It's the only way she'll drop the allegations." Justin eyed JC carefully, stressing his point. "The only way, Josh." Joey groaned, watching out the window as the country-like terrain turned more suburban, a sign they were near their destination. "Look, we'll talk this all out in the hotel. Soundcheck's not until three, so let's grab some coffee and have a meeting." "Lance needs to sleep," Chris pointed out. JC nodded. "We'll let him sleep and meet in my room. Agreed?" The three singers nodded, returning to their bunks to gather their things for their impending arrival at the hotel. Lance still had his head down on the table, his eyes closed, in a state of unrest. Justin shook his head as he entered his bunk, wondering if he'd done the right thing, or just made it all so much worse. |
| TRYST 6 |