| DON'T THINK I'M NOT FOURTEEN |
| The weeks wore on like tired old shoes which had their fill of life in general. The buses were divided, Lance and Justin on one with the other three holed up in another. Tensions were high, and no one was speaking, not unless they had to. Justin sat quietly composing his third letter to his ex girlfriend begging for another chance. Their breakup had thankfully stayed out of the press, but with each public appearance threatened to break it. He honestly didn't know how he would face the scrutiny of the media, and was unsure how the publicists were going to handle it all. Lance was on his own, once more, odd man out of a group that didn't want him. From day one he'd tried so damn hard to find a spot to fit in, and just when he had, he went and threw it all away. And for what? A good fuck. Returning his attentions to Free Lance had been necessary, and ignoring his families inquisitions was frustrating. Silence was the name of his game, once more. Depression was not an option. He had his pride. Joey refused to speak to anyone except JC, and occasionally Chris. He wouldn't listen to a word Lance, Justin or his ex-fiance had to say. Gone were the ten extra pounds he'd let himself put on, and he worked out daily to expel his hurt. He hated Lance with every fiber of his being, and didn't care to travel, let alone work with the guy anymore. If he hadn't had contractual obligations, he would have quit N Sync, just up and left. His heart wouldn't let him, the fans would be crushed, and honestly, he loved them too much to do it. So he stayed, begrudgingly, and did his job. Nothing more, nothing less. JC rode his ass about the new album, but he wasn't sure he would be doing it. Not sure at all. The tour bus rolled into yet another new city, depositing the singers in the parking deck of yet another Hilton hotel. Lance stayed on the bus until the last possible moment, choosing not to face his demons, not again. He still defended his actions, which won no points with anyone, and the erie silence he got from his bandmates was deafening at times. Still, she had wanted it as well. He wasn't the only one. It was damn unfair. Luckily, Joey had not actually gotten his hands on him, not yet. Lance was still awaiting the physical punishment he was sure was headed his way. Snapping his laptop shut, Lance pulled his sneakers on and listened as security called for him. No fans were under the deck, but the men were anxious to get some lunch. The sooner the five singers were safe in their rooms, the sooner they could eat before having to protect them once more. Lance sauntered up toward the front of the bus, grabbing his overnight bag on the way. Soundcheck was only a couple hours away, and once again, he'd have to endure the cold shoulder from all of his so called friends. Anger consumed him at the way he was being treated. Sure, he messed up, but so did she. As a matter of fact, so did he. He cheated more than she did, and he was still being punished. Joey was no innocent and if he had to listen to JC explain one more time why what he did was worse than what Joey did, he was going to pull his hair out. Stepping from the bus, he glanced around. The others hadn't waited. They didn't feel the need to. Doghouse was where Lance was, and that's where they were making sure he stayed, for a long time. From the shadows of the parking deck, a young woman approached quickly, sending the remaining bodyguard into a tizzy. Lance stopped when he heard her voice. Staring into the distance, he saw her, Joey's ex fiance, red rimmed eyes and jerky steps. He froze. Quite an unexpected turn of events. "Lance! Lance!" He stayed still, his breath ragged and shallow. This was not happening. Joey would flip out if he saw them talking. That would only make things so much worse. He pushed his sunglasses ontop of his head and nodded to the bodyguard, letting him know it was alright, for the moment at least. "I wasn't sure if you would want to talk to me," she said, her voice shaky at best. A forced smile crossed over her face and Lance noticed how haggard this once beautiful girl looked. Feeling compassion, he nodded at her, forcing a smile of his own. "So, how have you been?" he asked politely. What else could he say? He didn't know. His eyes continued their scan of the parking deck, looking for any signs of Joey. "Horrible!" she cried, tears spilling from her eyes. She produced a tissue and dabbed at her nose, sniffling loudly. "I miss him, I miss you. Shit! I'm so confused." Lance's eyes grew wide. Missing Joey was one thing, but missing him? He'd caused her so much hurt, and had such a part in throwing her life off track. It was a strange statement to hear. "Why do you miss me?" he asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I mean, Joey I get. But me?" She laughed a little. "I don't know. I guess I just miss being held, and cuddled, and fuck! I don't know." Her eyes, once bright and happy were now dull and sad. "I screwed up my life so bad. I had it all. Now I have nothing." A loud sob fell from her mouth and she couldn't continue. "We gotta go," the bodyguard warned, wishing he could join the others and eat already. Lance nodded. "Look, have you talked to Joey?" "He won't talk to me, not at all." The time was at hand to stop being mean and selfish and think of his group mate, and this poor girl who was so somber. "Let's go. Come with me." She shrank back a bit when he grabbed her hand, once used to his touch, now afraid of it. Lance didn't relent, however. He tugged her gently. "You love Joey, he loves you," he stated. "You need to forgive one another, and God help me, I'm going to try to play good samaritan and help." "I don't know," she stammered, hesitation filled her voice. "He's really pissed." "I know that," Lance groaned, heading into the hotel. "Justin's face is still sore." He pulled her into the hallway and followed the loud sounds of voices. "Just take a deep breath," he warned. Stepping into the lobby, Joey caught the sight first. His features morphed over from light to dark, very dark. Chris jumped in front of him. "Easy," he hissed. JC blinked, not sure if he was seeing correctly. He just couldn't take any more physical fights, or Lance's stupidity. This seemed to be heading both ways. Hurrying over, he yanked Lance's elbow. "What the hell are you doing? Do you have a death wish?" Lance frowned and pulled back. "I'm doing good here. I'm going to try to get them back together." JC shook his head, but let them go. Joey pushed against Chris with a storm ready to release behind his eyes. He didn't speak, only grunted toward the two. Lance pressed his lips together and stood up straighter. If he was going to be assaulted, at least it would be for a good reason. Looking back, he didn't know how the whole thing had gotten so out of control. He hadn't meant to destroy the relationship, only...well, he didn't know what. "Joey, I would like for us all to talk," he said bravely, getting closer. She followed at a snail's pace, quite used to seeing Joey's Italian temper flare. "I don't fucking believe this!" Joey bellowed. Lance didn't back down. "Let's go to my room and all talk. I think we all have some very important things to discuss." "I hate you!" Joey screamed, pushing Chris aside. Lance braced himself for the fury of his fists, but stood solid. This piqued Joey's interest greatly. He'd figured Lance would run. Hitting him like this didn't seem fair. His fist had other ideas, however, and struck out quickly, catching the side of Lance's face with fervor, sending him sprawling to the ground. With no bodyguards in sight, JC and Justin hurried over to assist. Hotel guests clucked their teeth in shock, and the front desk clerk sprinted to the scene. "Move it elsewhere or you're out of here!" he said through gritted teeth. "We got families here. They don't need to see this." JC nodded, apologetically, and helped Lance up. Joey was staying put, and smiling. "Okay, so let's talk," he said amicably. The four singers stared at him, unsure of what was happening. Lance stood and rubbed his face, stifling the string of expletives that threatened to make their way out. Instead, he focused on the woman he'd once held in his arms, made love to, unleashed his fantasies onto, and sighed. He was going to do some good here, dammit, if it killed him. Up in his room, the three of them sat. "I guess I should start," Lance said, placing the ice pack on his cheek. "No. I think she should start," Joey interuppted, leaning back in his chair. "Why? Why with him?" She stared at the ground, tears cascading down her cheeks. Lance took the hint and backed out, letting them work it out. For better or for worse, at least he got them together once more to heal. Proud of himself, he made his way down to the hotel bar for a drink, or two, or three for that matter. Ordering a whiskey, he pressed the cool cloth harder to his face, grimacing. "You okay?" JC asked, sitting on the stool next to him. Lance looked up. "You still talking to me?" "Of course." JC ordered his own drink and sighed. "We have to get through this. What you did, bringing her here, it shows you care. We didn't think you did." The reality of his coldness hit him hard, and he gulped the alcohol quickly, feeling the sting make it's way down. "I do," he said quietly, staring at the bottles of liquor gracing the top shelf of the bar across from him. "I don't know where I went wrong here. I mean, shit." He sipped his drink once more. "We all fuck up. You just did it in a major way. Joey is pretty easy going, so for him to hit you, and Justin..."He trailed off, understanding that Lance didn't need an 'i told you so' lecture right now. "Do you remember going through those first years together? When all we had was one another? No one understood us. Friends we had thought we were stuck up and couldn't relate anymore?" He waited for his friend to nod before going on. "Look, all I'm saying is we're all we have. No one gets us. We live this life that no one could possibly grasp. We can't fuck each other over!" "I know. I'm sorry. For what it matters." Lance tried to smile without wincing. "I'll put evil Lance away for a while." JC laughed, unsure if he was kidding or not. "Evil Lance huh?" He eyed his friend with an amused look. "Well, that's what I call him anyway." Lance groaned in pain and drank the last bit of his drink, lifting his hand for another. "We okay?" JC nodded. "I think we'll all be okay. Joey's going to need his time, but you did a good thing, facing what you did as wrong and forcing them to talk. At least they have one last shot." Lance stared into his empty glass. He had given them that. Maybe being good wouldn't suck as bad as he thought it would. Maybe. |