| They sat on the huge cruise ship, just feet away from one another. It was only the second day of the trip, and they couldn't keep their eyes off one another. The sun shone down with that sultry Carribean heat that Lance loved, that she did not. He studied her carefully, amused with the large hat she wore, to keep the sun off her he assumed, and thought it was charming how she held a romance novel in her hands, letting out a sigh occasionally, as if drawn into that world she was reading about. It was still early afternoon, and Lance had left his cabin in the hopes of seeing her again. He'd first caught a glimpse of her at embarkation, then again at dinner the first night. Sure enough, he'd seen her again on the pool deck. He wondered if the looks they'd shared the day before were all in his mind, or if she was as intrigued by him as he was by her. His sunglasses hid his eyes, a cover to his soul, so he could spy without her noticing. It was silly, really. He wasn't some shy kid that didn't know how to approach a woman, but he had a feeling she was different. There was no way he wanted to scare her away. She peered up from her book, and looked in his direction, making his heart leap. Quickly, he looked away, but he knew she had caught him. Lance chewed on his lip and gazed out over the railing into the crystal blue sea. Damn, his heart was racing. It had been a really long time since he'd felt this way about a woman without even meeting her. Cautiously, he turned his head to see if she was still staring, but to his dismay, she was gone. Sitting up slightly, he frowned and was angry that he hadn't acted sooner. Laying back down, his mind plotted. There had to be a way to find her again, and this time, he was going to introduce himself. A droplet of something cold landed on his bare chest, and Lance sat up, gasping. "What the..." He looked up and was speachless to see her standing over him, two Pina Coladas in her hands. She handed one to him, and he took it with great interest. "You looked hot," she said, almost shyly. Lance nodded, unable to speak. He never got tounge tied around the female species anymore. With all the celebrities he'd met recently, it had broken him of being timid. This girl, she was different. A small thanks escaped his lips and he watched her nod, then walk back to her chair and sit down. What the hell was wrong with him. All he could think of to say was thanks? No 'have a seat' or 'my name is Lance, what's yours'. He'd just sat there and said 'thanks'. Lance sighed heavily, before deciding to get up and go over to her. As luck would have it, there was an empty chair right next to her. In one hand, he grasped the drink she had so thoughtfully brought to him, in the other, he held his towel. Slowly, he approached her, noting with delight that she was staring right at him. He watched as she stuck her foot out and moved the empty chair closer to her own, motioning for him to sit. A huge smile broke out on his face, and he tossed his towel down, climbing over the chair, one leg on each side. "Hi," he grinned, "Thanks for the drink. It was getting hot over there." Not the smoothest thing he could have said, but at least he was talking to her. She looked over at him, removing her sunglasses to reveal catlike green eyes. "It looked like it," she smiled back at him. "My name is Jennifer." She extended a perfectly manicured hand to him. He accepted it and shook it, noticing how soft and tiny it seemed in his larger hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Lance." He sipped at his drink and tried to look away, at least for a second, but it was impossible. This girl had him in a place he never thought he'd be. "I know," she said, softly. He looked at her in surprise, forgetting that he was famous, and most people knew his name, or at least who he was. She laughed at his expression. "It's hard not to know who you are. Not to sound like a gushing teeny bopper or anything, but I like your stuff." It didn't matter that she was a fan, although he soon learned she didn't actually own any N Sync CD's, or stay up to watch him on MTV. She had never seen the video for Bye Bye Bye, but was interested to hear what it was all about. Lance found her to be very genuine, and sweet. The hours flew by, and the pool deck thinned out greatly. Glancing at his watch, he was shocked to discover it was almost dinner time. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" he asked. It was with great relief that she accepted. Happily, they made plans to meet after cleaning up, and Lance actually floated back to his room. He ran into Justin on the way. "What up dude? Dinner?" Justin asked, preparing to head into his own room to get ready. "Got a date!" Lance sang, breaking down into a cheesy dance. "Got a date, got a date, got a date." Justin rolled his eyes. "Good! You need to date more if you act like this!" The sarcasm was completely lost on Lance, who scurried into his room and jumped in the shower. Thirty minutes later, he was at her cabin door, his palms slightly sweaty, and his pulse slightly accelerated. His knock represented his excitement, and the door opened slightly. His breath caught in his throat as he saw her. She was in a knockout little black dress with her long reddish brown hair pulled up, little curls cascading down to frame her face. "Hi Lance," she smiled, moving aside to let him in. "I want you to meet my friend, Kira. She's on the cruise with me." Lance finally came to, stepping forward to shake hands with her friend. They chatted for a few minutes before leaving. A comfortable silence fell upon the two as they headed up to the top deck. Suddenly, a girl jumped out of the shadows, camera in hand, and let out a short scream. "Oh my God! It is you. Lance, oh can I get my picture taken with you? I wasn't sure if it was you, but it is you, and oh my God. Is Justin here?" Lance smiled tersely as he glanced over at Jennifer, who was clutching her heart, having been scared half to death by this young girl. "Umm, sure. You can get a picture." Jennifer recovered and took the camera from the girl's shaking hands. "Let me," she offered, grinning at Lance. She got the feeling he was a bit upset by the whole thing. Clicking away, the girl gushed her thanks, and ran off into the darkness. Lance grabbed Jennifer's hand, as if it was the most natural move in the world, and lead her quickly into the Bistro. "I'm sorry about that," he sighed. "I didn't think it would happen here on the cruise ship." Jennifer just smiled and nodded. "It's fine. I just didn't expect her to leap at you like that. She seemed sweet." The maitre'd lead them to a small table overlooking the water, and Lance held the chair out for her. "Most of our fans are great," he admitted. "I just wish they wouldn't attack like that. My mother and I were grocery shopping last month and she nearly got knocked to the ground by a fan." He shook his head remembering that fiasco. His father had suggested, gently, that he not go grocery shopping with his mother anymore. That comment had made him sad, really sad, but the last thing he wanted to do was have any family members injured because he wanted to go shopping. Jennifer noticed his eyes changing with some deep thought, and grabbed his arm. "Look, let's have a good time tonight. We'll pretend you're not in N Sync, and that you're just a normal country boy who came on this cruise for laughs." The sincere twinkle in her eyes made Lance feel so much better, safe, and happy. He nodded and ordered a bottle of wine. The week flew by for them. To the other passengers, those unfamiliar with N Sync, or Lance Bass, they seemed like a plain, ordinary couple. Just two young people who had found one another on this enormous ship, and would probably loose touch once they docked in Puerto Rico. To Lance and Jennifer, they had met one another out of fate, destiny, and had every intention of staying together once the docked. Lance found Jennifer to be fun, outgoing, silly, and kind. She danced like a maniac in the ship's club, and made him join her. She flirted with everyone, but never left his side. Everyplace they went, she was the hit of the night, making him feel proud that she was with him. She even got along with Justin, hooking him up with her best friend Kira. Much to Lance's amazement, she teased Justin mercilessly, and he let her get away with it. Justin never let anyone get away with anything, but he genuinely liked her as well. Jennifer found Lance to be a little reserved, a bit wary of things. Once he had a drink or two, however, she noticed he loosened up a bit. He was an observer more than a doer, and liked to sit back and watch the fun. He was polite, and nice, and very much a gentleman. There was no pressure from him to have sex at all, a nice switch from most guys she dated. He was a great listener, and a terrific cuddler. There wasn't one thing she could find wrong with him, and that worried her a bit. The plan was to stay together after the cruise was over. Lance had some time off, and was spending it in Orlando. She lived in Alabama, but agreed to visit him at his home. Neither of them wanted to be apart for longer than necessary. Justin called it being whipped, but Lance just didn't care. The newness wore off quickly, and although the two were very much in love, they soon discovered how hard things could be. "Let's go to the mall. I could use some new shoes for this award show thingy we're going to." "I can't go to the mall Jenn. I'll get us killed. Besides, you'll have a sylist to dress you for the show." "A what? Nonsense. I just bought a dress. It's cute. You'll like it." "There's a stylest friend of mine coming here tomorrow to dress you, didn't I tell you?" "No, you didn't, and I don't want some stranger dressing me. I can pick my own syle thankyouverymuch." Silence, brooding, total misunderstanding of one another. She leaves for the mall, solo. He lays on their bed, pissed. "Honey, let's go out to dinner tonight, want to?" "Lance, I thought you couldn't go out in public." Laughter, he only can't go certain places, at certain times. It's more a joke between them now. "Well, for tonight, I thought we should go out. Live dangerously. Have fun. What do you say?" Hugging, playfulness, general happiness. "Okay, where are you taking me?" "My surprise. You just be ready, and I'll make the reservations." He's happy, she's happy. Valet parking, very posh place. "Surprise!" He's so proud of himself. Finest sushi resturant in town. "Raw fish?" She scrunches her nose. Whatever happened to hamburgers? Didn't he eat real food? "You don't like Sushi?" He's disappointed, everyone he knows likes sushi, proudness disappears. "Umm, no. But, I'll find something else to eat." Uggh! Sushi! Another night of difference between them. "Wow! You look beautiful Jenn! I'm glad the stylist didn't get to you. That dress is amazing." Hugs, butt pinching, mutual attraction. "You look good yourself. What time are we leaving?" "The limo is picking me up at 4:00. Your limo should be here at 4:15 or so." Silence, and not the good kind. Stony look, glaring. "Excuse me? We're not going together?" "Umm, no? I thought you realized. I have to go with the guys. We never bring our girlfriends with us to the award shows. They have to go seperately so we can all be photographed as a group." Very uncomfortable. Most girlfriends already knew that rule. Not getting any sex tonight. Deep sigh. "Lance, my cousin is getting married in June. She wants me to be her maid of honor." "That's nice." "You can make it right? It's in NY." "When is it again?" Uh oh! "June 10th. It's a Saturday." He won't go. He never goes anywhere with me. "Sweetie, I can't. We have some promotional things scheduled around that time. You know I'd go if I could." This isn't good. She's pissed. Silence, slamming things, silence again. "You can never go anyplace with me. I can't take it. I have to fly all over the country to see you, but you can't take one day for me. Why can't the other four handle the promotional shit that day? Huh?" Okay, a bit unreasonable. "Because we're a five peice group. Not four peice. It's the way it is. You know that." I wish I could give you what you need, what you want. I love you but this is my life. Fuck! They had been together almost a year, good times now equaling bad times. Lonliness outweighing togetherness. Long distance 'I love yous' that were growing painful. She sat in his big empty house, bored and alone. She saw him more on television than in real life and found some psychotic comfort in buying teen magazines just to see him more. Cell phone bills were outrageously high, and what the hell was that girl doing last week on MTV hanging all over him? Mistrust cropping up, on both ends. Battles on the phone, crying and hurt filled words filling the silence. Neither wanted to let go. Love was still there, still strong. But distance overpowered them both. Him in his ever changing hotel rooms, her wandering the huge house he called 'theirs'. Paparazzi stalking her, questioning her, shoving pictures of him with actresses and other women in her face. Fear and rage ruled her body, her mind. His soul crushed and lonesome. All they wanted was love, true and honest, and it was meant to be with them, but not to be. Suitcases filled through tears. Phone ringing persistantly. Answering machine echoing through the house. "Jenn, please pick up. Oh God, don't do this to us. There has to be a way. I love you, I need you so much. Please..." It only made the tears flow harder to hear his pleas. Suitcases packed, lock the door, jump in the car, and will it all away. Drive fast so the mind doesn't change. Radio, loud, to forget. Damn! Not N Sync! That's irony for you. Of course, they're everywhere. He's everywhere but where he should be. He's crushed. It's too much. The one thing he needs in his life is leaving and he's powerless to stop it. One drink rolls into two, then three, then five. Irrational thoughts race through his mind. Could have gotten her pregnant. She couldn't leave me then. I could fly home, find her, and quit N Sync. I could become the fucking President too, makes no sense. She's gone. She deserves better than me, better than what I have to give. Oh please! I have nothing to give. Just empty homes and empty love. Joey's got it down. Groupies! A month later, two hearts still in pain. Nothing new on that front. She returns to Alabama, he returns to life with N Sync. Both hearts torn into shreds. Life for both of them different, yet the same. Kira's annoying her. "They're coming here for a show. You have to go see him. I saw him being interveiwed the other day. He looks like shit. He loves you. Make it work." "Leave me alone!" I love him, and yes, I saw the interveiw. He's lost weight, his eyes don't shine. Justin is pissed off at his actions, I could tell. They're probably telling him to shape up, snap out of it. I want to hold him again. I want to make it work. He doesn't though. He won't change for me. Tears, they never stop. Ever. Endless supply of them when it comes to Lance Bass. "Dude, we're in Alabama. Go see her! Stop your moping around and go make up with her. If you love her find her." Joey's brown eyes meet once sharp green eyes, now sunken in. Stubble constantly attached to his chin, thinking nothing of downing beers or alcohol at every stop. Doesn't matter, no more goody goody image for him. Fuck that. They took her away from me. Fuck them. They can have my soul now too. Let them take it all. She won't come back. I can't be who she needs me to be. The tour bus stops. Joey's hands on him. "Get off the bus." "Screw you," he replies. "Get off now." JC is yelling. He laughs, a hysterical, scared laugh. Stumbling up, he gives his buddies, using the term loosly, the finger and hops off the bus. It doesn't matter where he is. Who cares anyway. Kira sees the bus from the window. "Jenn, let's take a walk." "Nope!" "Damn, girl, don't argue. Let's go." Okay, draggingly. He shakes his head and starts walking, destination anywhere. She stares at her feet as she strolls, never noticing her friend has left her alone. Two worlds about to collide for the second time. He slowly looks up, wonder and love fill his eyes, making them shine again. She slowly looks up, falling in love all over again. The world stops. There's no running to each other, as you might think. Four anxious eyes peer out from the tour bus. One pair of anxious eyes peers down the street from the house. Their eyes connect, fill with tears, and it's okay. They know. It's another chance for love. No matter how different their worlds are. Hugs and kisses finally come. Traveling around the country to see the man you love isn't that bad compared to not having him at all. Letting her ride in a limo to an awards show isn't that bad compared to not having her at all. Someday, they would sit on the porch of his, excuse me, their huge Mississippi home and hold their children in their laps, and think back on the good ol days, not caring if they were filled with hoopla, as long as they were together. |
| DIFFERENT WORLDS by destiny |