Our story starts backstage after a show the offspring played, and everyone has had a few beers, especially Ron. Carrie, the girl in the story, is like Noodles' chick, She ran into Noodles and Dexter before the show at the local McDonalds, and her and Noodles hit it off. When Noodles says "minkeys" yes it's spelled correctly, it's because he's rather drunk. enjoy.
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“So what do you guys wanna do?” asks Dexter.
“Beats me, Carrie’s the one who lives here.” says Ron, “How bout it?”
“Well” says Carrie stretching, “We can go down to Deep Ellum and wonder around.” “Shit, I’ve heard about Deep Ellum.......” says Dexter, “Count me in!” he says laughing. “Ok, just as long as we don’t get shot” Greg says quietly.
“Ah, we’ll be ok,” Dexter implies, “.....right Carrie?”
“Yea, we’ll probably just run into some dealers or bums or something.” Carrie responds. “Wahoo!!!!” screams Ron, “liqueur!” he yells triumphantly, pulling out a bottle and 5 shot glasses from the refrigerator in the back of the room. He brings the bottle and the glasses to the table and sets them down, then he opens the bottle and fills the glasses, and then he looks at everyone else, who are staring at him. “Well aren’t you going to have yours?” he asks pausing.
“Uh.....” “Um....” “Uh, yeah....ok” says Noodles reaching for a glass. Everyone else follows suit, cause Noodles is the coolest. Yeah, you heard me. Except Greg, he’s decided that he’s had enough to drink and sets his glass back down. Everyone else has drank theirs. Ron decided to have Greg’s too.
“Careful Ron,” warns Carrie, “you don’t want to be too drunk in Deep Ellum.”
“I’m fine” he says not paying attention.
“To the bat-mobile!” declares Dexter.
“You mean the ‘crap-mobile’,” corrects Greg. “We can’t fit in Carrie’s truck, so we’re stuck with this van.”
“Hey, I said it was a bat-mobile, and it’s going to stay a bat-mobile.” Dexter says poking Greg in the chest.
Then Dexter runs off and comes back with a large black sharpie. Quickly he runs up to the van and writes something on it in big letters. When he finishes, he stands back admiring his work, while everybody else crowds around. The large writing says “Bat-Mobile” go figure.
“Well what are we waiting for?” declares Noodles, “Lets go!”
Everyone piles into the van, Greg in the driver seat. Ron in the passenger. Dexter stretched out in the middle and Noodles and Carrie in the back.
“Where am I going Carrie?” Greg asks turning around. Carrie gives him directions and in about 15 minutes, they arrive in Deep Ellum and start to wonder around. They walk by a lit store, despite all the other closed buildings. They stop and peer into the window.
“Cool! the Beatles!” Ron exclaims. Then runs inside to buy it. Ron comes back out of the store, now clad in a Beatles tee, proudly smiling. “How cool and I?” he asks as they start walking.
“Ah, shut up you drunk” says Noodles.
“Hey” Ron says frowning “I resemble that”
“Don’t you mean-” Noodles starts then bursts out laughing.
“You guys are crazy” Greg says.
“Crazy like a fox!” Noodles and Ron say simultaneously, then go into another laughing fit. They wonder for a few minutes when suddenly a guy pops out at them, scaring everybody. Ron starts laughing. “You scared me” he says in a weird voice poking the guy in the chest and laughing.
“Don’t mind him” says Dexter “He’s drunk.” The guy nods then points at Ron’s shirt and says in a weird voice “hey is that the Beatles”
“yeah”
“Are you guys in a band”
“yeah........”
“Are you guys the cops?”
(laughing) “uh...no.”
Oh, then do you wanna buy some hydrophromic shrooms?
(laughter) “No, I don’t think we’ll be needing any tonight” Greg says. And they walk off.
“So where to now?” asks Dexter
“How bout we stop in here” Ron says swaying “They’ve got beer, hahaha, hehehe.”
“cool, the ‘Galaxy Club’ ” “Greg says walking in.
“It’s got nothing to do with aliens Greg” Carrie replies matter of factly.
“yeah space boy” comments Noodles slapping Greg on the shoulder, as he and Carrie slip by.
Greg sighs, shrugs his shoulders, then runs to catch up to the guys, who are now seated at the bar, except for Ron. He’s dancing and swaying drunkenly to the band, who since it’s 12am and they have no audience, except fro Ron. They’re goofing off and singing parodies of different bands. Everyone else, choosing to ignore Ron, orders a beer, and then turns to watch Ron sway, and attempt to sing, all the while with a grin. Dexter chuckles and throws pennies at Ron, who stops to pick them up yelling “free money!”
The band stops and the singer goes “I think we’re gonna do a little Offspring now” and he picks up an extra guitar and plays the first few cords of ‘living in chaos‘, badly. Hearing this, Noodles sighs and goes “No, no, no, no, no.” as he makes his way to the stage, the place is dimly lit so the kids don’t realize that it’s Noodles. “Gimme this” Noodles says taking the kid’s guitar and putting it on. He walks up to the mike and says “test, test” then taps it. “C’mon....er...Bryan, Gregory (laughs) Carrie...?” They walk to the stage and the other band members hand over their stuff with mixed looks of awe and confusion on their faces, and step back off the stage, still not able to tell who’s really up there. Noodles pulls Carrie aside, “You wouldn’t happen to play the drums?” he asks.
“As a matter of fact I do” Carrie says smiling.
“Awesome!”
Dexter pulls a nickel out of his pocket and throws it at Ron, Ron sees it roll by and exclaims “Oo a nickel!” and runs off and you can hear him in the distance going “shinny, shinny!”
“Ok kiddos,” says Noodles, “you listening”? They nod their heads, dumbfounded. Dexter counts “1...2...3...4!” and Noodles comes in on the guitar playing perfectly, then Carrie on the drums, also playing excellent, then Dexter sings “Gotta soul song and it goes like this!” and Greg joins in too. Now sound is blasting out of the speakers, the bartender stops, watches, then turns up the stage lights. “This world is hard to fight, hitting you once, hit it again.” Dexter sings. “To know the way it feels, everyone gets knocked down, When you get up it’s real, taking it back, turn it around.” At the chorus Noodles goes crazy jumping all around the stage, the usual. “...up on it, Get on it, up on it, it’s on! (we’re living in a chaos)” And Greg was doing his usual funny dance, Dexter was smiling, and Ron, well Ron was inspecting his shinny nickel. The kids in the other band were now excitedly watching, after realizing that it was the Offspring, minus Ron who had moved on to the shinny pennies gleefully. And they whispered excitedly to each other.
“Dude! he’s playing my guitar, awesome!”
“And he’s playing my bass!”
“Man this is way cool!”
“When you get up it¹s real, taking it back, turn it around.”
Once again Noodles jumps around the stage some more.
“Get on it, up on it.....Falling, Falling, Falling, Falling, ya ya ya, ya ya ya, ya ya ya, ya ya.......When you get up it‘s real, Falling, Falling, Falling, Falling, ya ya ya, ya ya ya, ya ya ya, ya ya.......”
The song ends and the kids clap and the bartender cheers. Ron looks up, only now realizing that it was his band onstage, and screams “Go Noodles Wahoo!
“thanks” says Dexter
“nice people” says Noodles taking off his guitar as Greg takes off his bass, and they walk offstage. Carrie follows too, and they resume their seats at the bar, and order another beer. Ron stumbles up and sits down next to Carrie.
“Beer me” Ron slurs to the bartender
“I don’t think-”
“I said beer me dammit!” he yells pounding his fist. The bartender turns to get his drink and Ron rubs his fist saying “owww” quietly. Carrie leans over and pats Ron’s shoulder. Then Ron’s beer arrives and he drinks it quickly.
“See that’s what’s I’s talkin’ zabout,” slurred Ron. He leans towards Carrie, who inches closer to Noodles. Noodles puts his arm around her. Ron slurs “How you doing?” Noodles responds by slapping Ron upside the head. “Go away you drunk!”
“Look who’s talking!” Ron slurs.
“Why you little bi-” Noodles starts to get up but Ron interrupts him
“Your girl’s a slut” he slurs at Noodles.
“You bitch.” Noodles hisses stepping closer to Ron. “Take that back, or you’ll be sorry” Noodles pokes Ron in the chest, Ron steps back a few feet. “Slut, slut, slut, slut, slut, slut, sluuuuttttt!” Ron yells.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” screams Noodles lunging at Ron, and tackling him to the floor, punching him a few times. “Take it back mother fucker! take it back!” Noodles screams. Greg and Dexter start to run up but decided not to and watch for a while. After a few more minutes the bartender walks over, obviously annoyed, and with the help of Greg and Dexter, they pry Ron and Noodles apart.
“Let me go!” Noodles whines “I was winning.”
“Now you two apologize to each other” Noodles and Ron mumble protests, but Greg and Dexter push them at each other. They look around for a min, pleading silently for help. The bartender says “Do it” and Ron says “ok” quietly.
“I’m sorry Noodles” he says extending his hand.
“Aw, I’m sorry too Ron” Noodles says then shakes Ron’s hand. Ron gets a sad look on his face, and his lip quivers, then he bursts out “I love you man!” and embraces Noodles. “I love you too man” Noodles sobs wrapping his arms around Ron, and they hold each other and cry for a minute till Dexter says
“You too have had way too much to drink” and pulls them apart.
“No,” Noodles sniffs “We’re just two very emotional people”
“Right,...Right” says Dexter.
“Dexter?”
“Yeah Ron?”
“I love you!” he says with his arms out walking towards Dexter. Dexter puts his hands up and says “I’m not like that man” and backs up a few feet.
“But I love you!” Ron protests inching closer to Dexter with a drunken smile on his face. “Stay away from me!” Dexter almost yells “I’m not like that!” and starts to run.
Ron chases him screaming “Yes you are, remember that time in Vegas?”
“That was different!”
“How!?”
“We were piss drunk! So it doesn’t count!” Dexter runs into Greg, who’s coming out of the bathroom and pants “Greg! Help! *gasp, gasp* Ron’s trying to hug me and love me and all this other weird shit!”
“Dexter,” Greg reassures. “Ron’s just drunk, that’s all. How about we go get some beers to go or something and head back to the hotel?” Ron sneaks up behind Dexter and hugs him lovingly.
“Yes, yes” Dexter sighs “I love you too, now lets go get you some more beer.” “mmmm.....beer...” Ron sighs then slumps against Dexter, and he turns around to catch him, supported by Greg.
“Well that’s taken care of, lets go see if Noodles is still awake.”
They walk back to the bar supporting Ron between them, and hear the ending of Noodles’ conversation with the bartender. “..and the monkey won,” he says matter of factly, “the monkey kicked ass, So basically in the guitar playing world I am that monkey” Noodles finishes and leans back with his smoke, the bartender nods as Greg and Dexter walk up with Ron.
“God, you and those damn monkeys!” sighs Greg.
“yeah what’s with that anyways?” asks Dexter.
“Ah, you leave my minkeys alone.” Noodles slurs.
“C’mon Noods we gotta go” says Greg “where’s Carrie anyways?”
“She gots tired of my minkeys and wents ta play pinballs.” Noodles says pointing to where Carrie’s at.
“Ay! Carrie!” Noodles yells and Carrie looks up. “C’mon we gots to go, Ron here done drunk too much” he says pointing at Ron.
“Ok” Carries says happily, and comes skipping to Noodles and sits in his lap. Noodles kisses her forehead.
“Hi Dexter!, Hi Greg!” Carrie says smiling.
“You’ve been drinking too, haven’t you?” asks Dexter.
“Just a little bit” she replies indicating it with her fingers, “but Noodles here” she says patting Noodles “he drinks and goes on and on about those damn monkeys!”
“Yeah,” say Dexter and Greg, “we know that story all too well.” “Hey Noodles order us 4 beers ok?” Noodles order the beers then he and Carrie get up, Noodles sways and Carrie grabs hold of him so he wont fall. Dexter and Greg support Ron, and everyone makes their way outside and down the street to the van,...er...bat-mobile. and Dexter and Greg lay Ron down on the middle seat, and help Noodles and Carrie inside too. Mainly Noodles because he couldn’t seem to comprehend that he had to ‘step up’ to get inside the van. Greg takes the long way back to the hotel and Noodles and Carrie go to sleep. Dexter starts to nod off just as they reach the hotel, and Greg parks.
“Alright” he declares opening his door “Everybody up and out”
“Noodles go night-night” Noodles mumbles pulling Carrie closer.
“No, Noodles get up-up” laughs Greg the side door. He finds Ron drooling on the seat and sighs. “Get up Dex” he says tapping Dex’s window. Dexter doesn’t move. “Dex??....Hey Dexter!” Greg yells opening Dexter’s door. Dexter slumps out and falls into Greg’s arms. “Oh, God” Greg says, now sitting with Dexter in his arms on the pavement. “Dexter?” he whispers scared.......


Chapter 2
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