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| CHAPEL ASH CLASH
THE FAT PISTOLS The Royal Oak, Chapel Ash, Wolverhampton May 1st 2005 When I first heard about this gig (via an email off Jez out the ingeniously named Chapel Ash Clash) I thought he was kidding. It’s happening in a pub car park on top of an old lorry in the middle of Chapel Ash, just outside Wolverhampton’s city limits. Gigs just don’t happen round here usually, especially of a punk nature. Well not since Contempt packed out the Alex last month. But this was May Day and it was for charity (SCOPE) so I spose anything goes! The event had local press coverage and along with brilliant weather it bought out the crowds in their droves. And by the amount of alcohol consumed, must‘ve been a roaring success before any bands had even struck a chord! As I walked from the nearby Alex, the audience of well over 200 was swamping the car park and seating area. It was even busier inside so much so they had to draft in extra bar staff from the surrounding bars. The jovial family atmosphere of barbecues, raffles and chest shaving contests for the extremely brave or should that read down right bloody stupid kept it all in good spirits. It was good to see a smattering of old faces, ex-punks and regular punk liggers like Mr and Mrs Spock making an effort amongst the bohemian hippy hordes and live music appreciation society. I even spotted Jane who used to manage the Stench in the bad old days, which was a neat surprise. I was as curious as everyone else about the Fat Pistols who are in actual fact a Pakistani Sex Pistols tribute. Yeah the swindle continues! So I just had to come along and check out the damage for meself. And like most people here I didn’t quite know what to expect…maybe overweight turban jobs? Or even something akin to the Bangra In The UK? Well it was neither, but what we do get is an amusing spoof, even though they were stretching the Pistols legacy to the far extreme of punk mythology. The majority of people here wouldn’t know a Sex Pistol from a water pistol, but they were here for some live entertainment, whatever shape or form it came in. And the Fat Pistols obliged by giving em some pantomine punk to peer at as they came bursting on stage a lot slimmer than we were expecting. They did try and look the part with brand new tartan bondage pants, UK Subs T-shirts (tut tut) and stiff leather jackets that looked like they’d been hired from a BBC punk props department. From the opening chords of ‘Anarchy In The UK’ we were hit with an obvious all round innovation to all who viewed em. They ripped into and rode rough shod all over the Pistols classics ‘Pretty Vacant’,‘Bodies’ etc you know the score by now. And from the look on the bands faces this was a pretty unique experience for them too! I’m told they are made up of bouncers/security staff who man the doors in Brum and Hill Top area!!! I very much doubt they plan on doing this kinda tribute on a regular basis? But I have to say if the Sex Pistols Experience are reading this…you ain’t got a lot to worry about! Spontaneous crowd applause and even a couple of 8 year old kids were brave enough to jump around as they managed to deliver a pretty good version of ‘God Save The Queen’. Which was the perfect cue for Johnny Kumal to give us his earest Rotten impersonation of the set. However highlight had to be their failed attempt at an out of tune ‘Rule Britannia’ which signalled their exit and giggles from the crowd. This was completely cabaret punk for a Sunday afternoon, and despite all the lead singers energy and crowd repartee, they didn’t really sound like the Pistols at all. But I somehow don’t think that was their aim, which would’ve been extremely hard to achieve unless they donned wigs and stage paint. No, these geezers were here to see if they could get away with it, and you know what they fuckin’ well did today. But tomorrows another question? As it looked like everyone else had the same idea, I squeezed back inside the crowded bar for more refills. While there I spot Jez from the Chapel Ash Clash by the bar stocking up on lager (cheers for pint mate!) and getting himself psyched up to mount the lorry. Chapel Ash Clash at least has some real punk credentials amongst their crew, with leader Jez doing his best Mick Jones harmonies and guitar licks. I don’t really recognise his band mates, but I know he’s been bashing his telecaster for over 20 years now and was around right back in the early 80’s Wolverhampton punk boom. Playing in young punk outfits like the Pulex Irritans and 7th Plague. He now resides in London having spent a serious amount of time playing with such punk luminaries as Brian James (ex-Damned) and plying his trade in various punky offshoots throughout the capital. In actual fact he’s just putting together a new band of Dead Boys influenced punk rock ‘n’ rollers as we speak. So it was a bit of a homecoming for him with quite a few friends and associates in the crowd. This is however the first time I’ve actually witnessed a Clash tribute unless you count early Manic Street Preachers (snigger), so it was gonna be an interesting combination. You have to give credit where it’s due, coz the Chapel Ash Clash besides Jez, ain’t gigging musicians and are only put together once every blue moon for special occasions such as this. He told me earlier it’s basically just a bunch of mates who all like the Clash and enjoy bashing out their tunes, which is fair enough. At least these Compton commandoes got the sound right, although the hard working Joe Strummer stand in on vocals was struggling to fill Mr Strummers guttural snarl. And along with the shitty vocal mix made matters slightly worse. However it didn’t stop em entertaining the crowd as they gained more confidence as the set progressed. Running through the classic back catalogue of tunes like ‘Im So Bored With The USA’ and ‘Tommy Gun’ meant they couldn’t really go wrong. And it was good to hear a live Clash soundtrack on a late sunny afternoon drinking a pint in the setting sun, I can tell ya. Standout track of the set for me had to be rather good rendition of ‘White Man In Hammersmith Palais’ which give em the biggest cheer of the day, and they even managed to squeeze in ‘Should I stay Or Should I Go’ before ending with a rabble rousing ‘White Riot’ which kept the punters entertained and the beer flowing freely into the early evening. As they left the lorry to vigorous applause and cheers from the crowd, I left for the less hectic confines of the Alex. Where later on one eyewitness came rolling in and told me a bit of aggro had erupted in the beer garden tut tut. Oh well at least they waited till the bands had finished. PETER DON’T CARE |
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