The past three days are now officially the standard by which all of my days will be measured. This probably is in no way fair, because I’m pretty sure nothing will ever come close to being anywhere as good, hell, perfect as those days were.
Nick called me about noon on the 5th, he’d just gotten up.. and asked what I was doing that evening… I said nothing, so he said, let’s go to dinner. Okay.. sounds good. He tells me to be ready about 5:30 and asks me if I would wear that white sundress that he likes so much. Sure. (I don’t know if it’s weird or not, but I actually really like it when he asks/suggests things for me to wear. It takes the pressure off me trying to decide, and I know he’ll like it.)
I puttered around for a while, then got ready about 5:15- hair in a ponytail and the sundress, just a little make-up, so I was pretty much done in 10 minutes, I love that he likes the super-low-maintenance stuff. I flopped on the couch with Shaun who was playing Nintendo and bothered him while I waited for 5:30 to roll around. I was annoying enough, he paused the game and was like, “WHAT is your deal?” I tell him I’m just anxious… for Nick to get there and for our anniversary... I feel all… weird about it. He asks what time Nick is supposed to be there, I tell him 5:30 and he says “Thank God”… and then asks why I’m weird about anniversary. I say I think he may have forgotten. Shaun says not to worry about it, but if he did, cut him some slack, he’s got a lot going on. Then he says, “speaking of forgetting things…” and gets up and comes back with a DC Comics duffel bag. He tells me he meant to give it to Nick at the party on the 4th, but he forgot.. they were collector’s editions of some comic book I’d never heard of. Whatever.
The doorbell rings, I jump up, run to the door and fling it open. Nick looked AMAZING… he had on jeans that were kinda fade-y and worn and this light blue polo shirt that just made his eyes look insanely blue.. hair going all over the place. I jumped on him. I couldn’t help it. He caught me, hugged me tight and kissed me. Shaun made the wretching noises again. He was standing right behind me when Nick put me down, he handed Nick the bag and said, “dude, here’s your stuff, now get her out of here, she’s driving me crazy”. Nick laughs, says thanks and he’ll be glad to take me… I pinch his butt and go to the car.
He gets in and I ask why we’re going so early, and he tells me it’s going to take a little while to get there. Okay, where are we going? “Some place we haven’t gone before.” Wow, that’s so helpful. We talk a little bit about what happened at the party while we weren’t together while he was driving and then I realize… we’re at an airport. It’s a little one, that I had no idea existed, but it’s definitely an airport. Why is this? He smiles and tells me “I told you we were going some place new”.
I have no idea what to do with this, I’m all surprised and giggly. We actually drive out onto the tarmac/runway area and I see a little plane waiting. Oh.my.god. We really are flying somewhere. He parks the car, opens the door for me, and gets the bag Shaun gave him and another one out of the trunk. He tells me to go on over to the plane, it’s waiting for us. So I go walking very quickly over to it, the pilot helps me up the steps and I go sit down, trying my hardest to stay calm, but it’s not working very well because I was SO excited. The inside of the plane was awesome – there were only four seats, like recliners almost, and then a little bar area, a table, and a tv – it was sort of like a flying living room.
Nick stopped to talk to the pilot – but was talking so low I couldn’t eavesdrop – then puts the bags down and comes to sit across from me. He smiled, looking like he was amused by me. As soon as we were in the air, I immediately jumped up and went to sit on his lap. I told him I had no idea where we were going and I didn’t care… because he was amazing. And then I kissed him. For about the next 45 minutes. Until the plane landed. It was a good flight. We get out of the plane – it’s warm and breezy – and he says “Welcome to Key West”. I squealed.
I know he loves the Keys and I was excited he’d want to take me there. I was thinking, okay this is pretty big – taking a freaking plane out to dinner – this has got to be our anniversary celebration, so he remembered, YAY. He points me toward a black car (Town Car, maybe?) that’s waiting and helps me in, then slides in beside me. I scoot right next to him and he puts his arm around me… I was thinking, hell, we can go to McDonald’s and it’s still going to be about the most romantic thing ever. But, of course, that wasn’t the plan. We get out of the car like, less than five minutes later and we’re at this adorable little restaurant that has a balcony right over the water. The place was really small and the food was amazing - it was nice to actually eat out with him – especially in some place so cute and romantic. We got done with dinner right as the sun was starting to set, so we get back in the car for another tiny little drive and then we’re at a dock… and there’s only one boat out there… a really, really big boat. There’s some guy coming off the boat, saying ‘hi’ to Nick, so I let them talk for a second and try to get a look at the back of the boat “’N Control”… holy shit… that’s his boat. I’ve heard about the boat, but I’d yet to see it. But, there it was.
Nick called me over to him as the guy was walking off and helps me onto the boat… he tells me to look around if I want, but not to take too long, because the sun will be setting pretty quick. I figured I’d look around later… I was much more interested in watching him – he LOVES that boat, so watching him fiddle with everything and get us out into the water was pretty cool. We went zooming out into the water, like, directly into the sunset, it was… insane... and easily the most amazing thing I’d ever seen. I thought the sunsets out at the Pier would be hard to beat, but no… this… totally takes it. He stopped doing… whatever it was he was doing with the boat and came behind me, wrapping his arms around me to watch the sun drop completely into the water.
He told me he loved me and hoped I was okay with spending a few days together. I was like, what? Of course I want to, but I’ve got to be at work tomorrow morning! I didn’t bring anything… He says, no, he got Justin to talk to Sage, so I’ve actually got ‘til the 9th off… and Shaun packed that bag for you. My jaw dropped again, and he just smiled, “I wanted our first anniversary to be something special.. so I thought we could hang out on the water for a couple days, just the two of us…”
I turned around to kiss him, and teasingly said, “Sounds like you think you’re gonna get lucky…”
He put his hands on either side of my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and said, “I’ve already gotten lucky. I’ve got you here with me, don’t I?”
He was already going to get it, I’d made up my mind, but after that… yeah, there was no chance of me not giving it up. Had he not been standing pretty close to the edge of the deck… I’d have totally pounced him right then and there, but I was afraid if I did I’d end up sending him overboard and me going with him, and somehow, that didn’t sound appealing.
I kissed him again and asked if this was where we were going to stay… I looked around – there was nothing for what looked like miles. No land, no other boats, just the water, the stars, the moon, and us. I actually can’t think of anything that would have been more amazing. He nodded and said “for now” and showed me on the navigational map where we actually were – it wasn’t that far from Key West, but it was far enough to just seem… not isolated, but… just… apart. Away.
I reached for the bag that Shaun had given him – comic books my ass (but I had to hand it to him for being clever) - it was still sitting on the bench seat where it had been dropped when we got on board and unzipped it. I laughed – right on top of everything – a box of condoms.. with a sticky note that said “Have fun!” Thanks, Shaun. Nick asked what I was laughing about and I tossed the box to him- he snickered.
I quickly dug through the rest of the bag – I was fairly impressed what he’d manage to shove in there…. It wasn’t much (I guess he figured I wouldn’t need it), just my suit, a few clothes, and like my toothbrush and stuff… but he did a good job. I was mainly concerned with what was going on with Nick and the box he was holding. I’d heard him open it… saving time for later? I zipped the bag back up and asked for the grand tour.
He led me below deck and I just gasped – first, it’s just beautiful down there, you’d totally forget you’re on a boat, but mainly, because of what was waiting. There was a bouquet of red roses and a bottle of champagne chilling on the table, candles set out everywhere… I saw stuff sitting on the counters – chips and food we both like, things like that, so he’d obviously done a lot of planning. He went around checking a few things and told me the guy that we’d seen leaving was a friend of his that he’d asked to set everything up before we got here.
I was looking around at everything, just incredulous. The kitchen area, bathroom, it was just unbelievable. Nick was standing in the doorway to the stateroom, watching me… I dropped my bag on the sofa and went over to him, pushing him back toward the bed.
I thought I wanted him before… and I did… but after all that… it was unreal. I wanted him naked and I wanted him inside me. Immediately. He moved back on the bed some and was looking at me, like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I was actually debating whether to strip before I got to him, or let him do it, but I could wait to have him touch me. I crawled onto the bed and leaned over him – god my heart was pounding so hard – I loved the look in his eyes just then. He totally knew what was going to happen and he just looked… I don’t even know how to describe it.. but it was fucking hot. I took his hands and put them on the hem of the dress and told him to take it off. He let go and said “not like this” and moved off the bed, then pulled me off, too, so I was standing at the edge of the bed.
He grabbed the hem again and slowly pulled it off over my head. It obviously wasn’t the first time he’d seen me naked, but his eyes were all over me like it was. I felt so hot, like, physically warm, like my skin was just burning up, just from the way he was looking at me. After the dress was off, he put his arms around me and lay me back on the bed, managing to unhook my bra at the same time, sliding his hands across my back and up to pull the straps down. I pulled my arms out of the straps and let him toss it aside, then I scooted back on the bed to give him some room to come after me. He very quickly took his clothes off – I didn’t think my heart could have been beating any faster, but when he was standing there naked, just before he got back on the with me, it just like, stopped, like, literally skipped a beat and then flipped or something and started pounding even harder. Like, this was it… it’s finally happening… and I was so, SO ready for it.
He reached for my hips and slid my panties down, tossed them over with the dress and the bra and then he was kneeling over me, on his knees between mine. He had his hands all over me, like he was making sure the places that I normally liked touched were still working for me then. He moved to put his hands on either side of my shoulders, so he was leaning over me and then bowed his head to kiss me, slow and deep. I just totally melted in the kiss, which was probably the whole idea, because I relaxed completely, and I felt him completely cover me, his body on mine. He stopped kissing me to tell me loved me… and told me that he was mine… and anything I wanted him to do, he would.
And I told him exactly what I wanted – I wanted him inside me. I wrapped my legs around his hips and told him I was thankful that he’d been patient to wait for me, but the wait was over… I wanted him, wanted this, and I wanted it right then. He chuckled a little and kissed me again. He moved back some, and slid his hands over my legs to unwrap me from around him, and then moved back more. He got completely off the bed, grabbed my hips and pulled me to the edge.. I think his tongue may have touched me all of twice and I was gone… I was way too wound up… I think he was surprised, too, He just looked up at me and said, “damn… I think you are ready…” I know! Now get the hell up here! He grabbed a condom from somewhere – I didn’t even see the box around – but I saw him rip it open with his teeth and then put it on. (I have to say, I’m not so much fond of the wrapped-in-rubber look… I prefer naked skin, definitely… but whatever… safety first and all that)
He gave me one of those killer smiles and came back up to me, pulling me a little further up the bed with him. He pushed my knees apart and kind of settled between them, then took my hand and brought it down between us, and wrapped my hand around him. He told me I was in charge, so when I was ready, I could put him in. I think my hand was probably shaking at that point – I wanted to feel him. I didn’t have to do much guiding, he was already so close to me. I didn’t want to totally yank on him, but I did probably give him a good tug – he groaned a little, in a good way, as I got him inside me just enough to lift my hips and let him slide in a little further.. beyond that, he was totally going to have to do some thrusting. I could hear him sucking in a breath and mumbling something like, “God, Desi..” I reached down to grab his ass and try to coax him along some – I was totally impatient. He pushed the rest of the way in and stopped – I wrapped myself around him, I wanted to remember every single thing about the way that moment felt. It didn’t hurt – it was sort of … like, I felt.. filled up. Completed.
I had my eyes closed, trying to concentrate on just feeling everything, and I figured he was probably, like, bored or impatient with not moving… I look at him and his eyes are scrunched closed, just as he says, “Fuck… I love the way you feel.” I tilted my head up to kiss him and I guess that was a hint or something for him to start moving. I guess I’m a moaner.. because I certainly did enough of it.
I have no idea how anyone could just lie there and not make any noise or not do anything… it felt so good.. I know it’s like, not supposed to the first time… but I really enjoyed it… and I just wanted to touch him everywhere, put my hands all over him. I didn’t have an orgasm that time – and I couldn’t have cared less. Being with him like that, feeling him in me, moving against me… that was honestly almost as good as actually getting off. He was so sweet when it was over, he held me tight and was playing with my hair… I thanked him for making my first time perfect… and totally worth the wait.
We lay there all tangled up, talking until we fell asleep… and I know I fell asleep smiling.. I’d never felt as content and secure as I did then. I woke up the next morning kind of sore, but not enough to not want to do it again. (Happy anniversary to us!) He was on top again that time… then later in the day I got all adventurous … we did it on the deck of the boat and I was on top that time. THAT was awesome (I totally got off that time)… but being out there in the open, the sex was fun, the sun was shining down on us, just a little bit of a breeze.. It felt kind of naughty – I loved it. We had sex three times on our actual anniversary – but managed to find time for champagne and being romantic, too. We lit all the candles that night and had some kiss-and-whisper time… that was very nice.
I think what I’m going to remember most about the trip – aside from finally having sex, of course – is how amazing it was to simply BE with him. No one else around to worry about, no phones to answer, just us. We talked about so many things – stories from growing up…. To even things about the future. We’ve made it a year, aren’t we kind of entitled to be able to look ahead a little?
Some of my looking-ahead involved giving him a run down of all the things I want to try sexually…. He looked at me, a little surprised, I guess he didn’t realize how much it was really on my mind… but then, of course, said he’d be more than willing to play along. Yeah, I thought so!
So… it was amazing. Perfect. I can’t wait to see him again.
And get him naked.
July 9
I should have seen it coming… things were too good to stay that way.
I went to work today, ready to see Sage and get the scoop on the holiday hook-ups, and had prepared answers for whatever she might ask about my trip. I walked into the back room and as soon as she saw me, she walked out. I blamed it on coincidental timing, maybe she had to deal with the group of crazy teenagers hanging around outside or something. But… she did it all fucking day. She would walk away if I got anywhere near her, and she totally ignored me the first couple of times I tried to talk to her. After about 5 hours I was completely pissed off and had to practically sneak up on her to go “What the hell is your problem?!?” She glares at me and says “Not right now… I’ll talk to you after work.” I can hardly wait.
She got off an hour before I did, so when she was ready to leave, she called me into the back room to talk. She sits on top the table, and I’m just standing there, and she says, “I am all kinds of pissed at you.”
What? Why?
“I saw Justin at the mall the other day…”
Okay…
“Weren’t you supposed to be out of town with him? Big anniversary celebration? How can you celebrate your anniversary with your boyfriend… when he isn’t there?”
Oh shit.
She kept talking, “As your manager it pisses me off that I was lied to for you to get days off work – when we really needed the extra people – for you to go who-the-fuck-knows-what… and as your friend, it pisses me off that I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you.”
I tried to explain that she hadn’t been lied to.. I WAS out of town, I didn’t even try to explain that I WAS with my boyfriend
“How is this not a lie? You’re supposed to be my friend… how can we be friends if I can’t trust you?”
I told her that she could trust me… and that I’d explain it to her… I just couldn’t right then… and then I begged her not to go tell the other girls.
She said “fine” and just left… I felt so bad. Lying to her has bothered me more than the others.. I mean she is/was my best girl friend, really. I feel like I could probably trust her with this… but… I’m still not going to tell her anything until I talk to Nick about it.
I guess I knew it would get complicated at some point. I actually laughed as I wrote that, because I realize how ridiculous it was. Get complicated? It’s always BEEN complicated. I wonder sometimes what it would be like, if we weren’t trying to hide it. Would it be worse for me or for him? Probably me… I’d be the one they were all hating. Could I deal with that? Do I really even want to try?
I ask this like it’s a real question…. I know I’ll do whatever I have to so I can stay with him. I can’t not. That man totally owns my heart. Actually, I don’t know that I really have any parts left to myself – he’s had my heart, my mind, and now my body… what else can you give someone?
I’m going to see him now – I need to talk to him… and I’m sure I’ll spend the night…