Nick is asleep in my bed. It is way, way too cute. Actually the whole night was cute. Shaun and I had decided to barbecue… so we were out getting ready when Nick calls and asks what I was doing… I told him we were barbecuing – Shaun told me to invite him over, which I was going to do anyway… they’re friends, that should be entertaining. I hang up with Nick, all excited to spend the evening with both of them… and the phone rings again – it’s Justin asking what’s going on. I wanted Nick and Justin to meet at some point… why not now? So I told him to come over, too, informed Shaun I was running out for more food and called Nick to tell him he was going to meet my faux-boyfriend.
Nick was there when I got back from the store – he and Shaun were standing around the grill, having a very intense discussion about the best way to start and maintain the fire… I could hear them from inside the kitchen. I got the groceries out and set a few things up in the inside before I went out to say ‘hi’ to Nick. It was fairly entertaining to just watch/listen to him and Shaun and I almost didn’t want to interrupt. Justin got there as I was cleaning up, so we watched them through the window for a little bit before we went outside. Justin thought Nick was gorgeous and I just laughed, like, great… my ‘boyfriend’ has a crush on my boyfriend!
I was ready to go outside, but Justin hung in and said he’d be right out…(I found out later why he hung back) so I went on out and tried to sneak up on Nick, but was totally unsuccessful. As soon as I started to launch myself at him to tackle him, he was turning around and catching me. He swung me around and then dipped me down to kiss me. I got a serious case of the giggles and Shaun started making gagging noises. I love that he can nail some girl on the kitchen table and I’m supposed to be fine with it, I get a good kiss and he’s about to wretch. How fair is that?? Lame.
I was so excited, though, to have the three of them there together… they really are the most important guys in my life… probably honestly, the most important people. I love my girls, but those guys… are everything to me.
Justin joined us and Nick goes right over to him, doing the guy one-hand-shake-hug-pull thing, says it’s great to meet him and thanks him for what he’s doing for us. I honestly think Justin was a little swoon-y. He came over to me later and told me again how beautiful he thought Nick was. He’s like “I knew what he looked like, but in person… oh my god.” Yeah, I know.
The three of them got deeply involved in a conversation pretty quickly – and Shaun requested that I go grab his stereo to bring out and I got my camera while I was back in there – I got some of the best pictures over the course of the evening.
At one point I went inside and Justin came with me and he told me why he’d waited to go outside earlier – he said he wanted to see how Nick greeted me. I was like, uh… okay. He said that you can tell a lot by the way people acknowledge each other – if it’s casual or serious, romantic or just friends… and he said he was pleased with what he saw in Nick. (YAY!) He also asked me later, if I was aware of the way he looked at me. Again, what? He (Justin) must have been watching him (Nick) very closely all night… he told me that he (Nick) looks at me/watches me all the time… and he always has this little smile on his face like he’s just perpetually happy because of me. That was about the coolest thing that anyone could have told me. I want him to be happy with me/around me.
We had a lot of goofy fun… I turned the radio to one of “we play whatever the hell we want” stations, so it was all over the place…we all got a little crazy when “Pour some sugar on me” came on… Nick and I were singing into our forks, Shaun was playing air guitar… Justin was laughing so hard he was crying.
After that “bump-n-grind” randomly came on and Nick pulled me to him, so that I was standing in front of him and he had his arms around my waist… so I was grinding on him a little and he was nibbling on my ear and the back of neck… Yeah, I didn’t see anything wrong with a little bump-n-grind then either, but Shaun started in being obnoxious again and kind of ruined the mood. But that wasn’t much of a problem because the next song was “Kokomo”… so Nick grabs my hand and spins me around and we start attempting to actually dance. He pulls me close to him and we’re dancing around while he’s singing “Aruba, Jamaica, oooh I wanna take ya to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go?”
I looked up at him and said, “ Anytime, anywhere… just take me.”
Yeah, I meant that both ways… and I could tell he got it both ways from the expression on his face. I winked at him and twirled around a few more times, before he pulled me back and kissed me… and it was one of those killer kisses that just takes my breath away and makes my knees weak. GOD I want him…
I can’t believe that next month… it’s been a year. Justin asked me later in the evening (after admiring Nick shaking his ass to whatever was on the radio) how I’d managed to be around him for a year and not demand he throw me down and fuck me senseless. I don’t know. I really don’t. It HAS to happen soon… maybe for our anniversary? What do you do on a first anniversary? Should we make plans beforehand? Do I ask him about it?
Okay… I’m tired… the short version would have just been – had a great night, Justin likes Nick, Nick is fine with Justin, good times had by all.
Now, I’m going to crawl into bed with my completely adorable boyfriend.
June 12
I went out with the girls last night… well, Justin came with me, to meet the twins new boys…yes, the twins have boyfriends. The whole situation is so comical… Holly and Merry are dating Jack and Colby. Yep, the Christmas Girls are dating the Cheese Boys. Why do people do this to their children? I probably shouldn’t have laughed as hard as I did… but c’mon… THAT is hysterical. It’s bad enough they’re twins dating twins… but just the fact that they have the matchy-matchy goofy names… TOO FUNNY. They seem like great guys… I liked both of them and they forgave me fast enough for the initial crack up, so bonus points for them.
When we were leaving Justin was giving me his observations – I guess I never realized how much he sees in people, but he’s very perceptive. He thinks the twins have a decent chance with their boys. I really hope things go well… It would be nice for me to be able to harass them instead of the other way around for once.
Something occurred to me while we were out that night… I thought it was kind of funny… for all the teasing that goes on and my lack of experience… Sage hasn’t dated or even hooked up with anyone since I’ve known her. This is the first time the twins have been with anyone since I’ve known them… Anais had that random kitchen-table incident, but other than that… Jovan is the only one who’s really had anything to talk about.
So, it’s only like two weeks to our anniversary and still… nothing. I sort of want to ask just like… any plans for the 4th? Annnd… after that? Maybe the next two or three days? I seriously doubt he’s forgotten… the way he remembers every thing… but… I don’t know. Maybe it’s not that big of a deal to him? Should it be a big deal to me? We’ve already outlasted every relationship of everyone I’ve basically ever known. It’s not a “normal” relationship at all… him being gone all the time, so does that make it “easier”? Or harder? I guess I feel like I’ve got no idea how else it would be… since this is all I’ve known.
July 2
And it’s time for the holiday party planning. Shaun came in with the Frat Report this morning, which was all kinds of sad… apparently almost all of the brothers are out of town or back at home or something… there’s only a few guys and they’re all looking to Shaun, the social events god, for direction. So, he tells me he’s going wherever Nick is going, because he always knows where the good parties are… and maybe he’ll be able to see Mandy again. (I think he’s hoping he’ll have a shot now). I’m fine with this, because that will give me an excuse to be wherever Nick is, by staying with Shaun… should the girls protest and want to go elsewhere.
(later)
Well that was easy. I called Nick to find out where he (and Mandy) would be… told Shaun, who went to pass it along to his boys, and I called the girls who were waiting for some plans… and ta-da, it’s done. Justin already told me he’d be wherever I was, so I got everyone – as much as I’m allowed – for the night. It’s still so weird to me that it’s like this… I was so never into the party scene or whatever you want to call it … and now it’s just like, lead me to the action. Weird.
The anniversary is looming… and still nothing. We’ve been spending almost every day together… at least a few hours… and I’ve tried to drop hints or at least, do a little fishing for information… and nothing. So… I give up. If he surprises me, awesome. If he forgets… I’ll… deal with it. I’ll cry, but I’ll deal with it.
July 5
(2:43 AM)
The 4th of July is so my favorite holiday. The party was great – I drank significantly less than last year, and switched to water around 11, so I’m in good shape… and soooo not tired.
Sage, Jovan, and Anais are apparently having some issues being single these days… so they decided to slut it up tonight after finding out Shaun’s brothers were starting over here, too. It didn’t surprise me for Jovan to be a tart, but the other two… I guess it was just time for some attention. And they got it. Plenty of it. When they showed up I felt way over dressed – tank top and capris – so I went to change clothes – tiny jean shorts and my red bikini top… hey, it’s patriotic! (I’ve noticed I feel much more comfortable showing off, like, since Nick has seen me naked… and if he likes what he sees… it must not be a bad thing to let everyone else get a peek, right?)
So we were hot… and the boys were noticing… the three of them all managed to find suitable hook-up partners for the night. It was weird to watch Anais and Sage hanging all over and slobbering all over guys. Granted, they were really, really HOT guys. I’d met Devon and Jeremy before… but Hunter… holy mother god. I know he was a new pledge second semester… he looks like he belongs in an Abercrombie ad or something… so yeah, Sage took an instant liking to him (I think we all did)… but it was kind of crazy the way they sort of gravitated to each other. Devon is a senior, business/advertising major – Anais went for him right away… Jeremy, junior, exercise and sports science major (I know, right?) was definitely Jovan’s type… so then there was Sage, instantly smitten with Hunter, marine biology boy. It worked. So everyone was all paired up, the twins/twins were there, too… except Shaun who declared he was “pimpin’” for the night. (I maintain he was still out for Mandy).
We get to the party – I was perfectly content to stick with Justin and Shaun…I mainly just wanted to hang out and watch everyone… well, watch Nick… and the fireworks. Justin and I grab lawn chairs by the pool, where we figure will be prime people watching, so we just checked everyone out, drank a little, and made snarky comments. Good times. I kept an eye on the gate and the back door that lead out into the lawn (I don’t even know who’s house we were at, as usual) so I could see when Mandy and Nick got there. I actually missed their entrance, though, since I was busy watching Shaun try to wrestle Jeremy into the pool.
So I look up and there they are… sort of both looking around like, okay, who do we talk to first? I looked around for Jovan, who was standing at the edge of the pool, shrieking at Shaun for having “tried to drown” her boy toy (drama queen much?) , so I get up and go off to the side of the house, where if Nick looks to his right, I’ll be straight in his line of vision. I grab my cell and call him… I can see he looks surprised when the phone rings, but smiles when he sees it’s me. He looks around a little when he picks up and says ‘hey beautiful’.
Me: hey yourself, sexy
Him: where are you?
Me: look to your right… (puts on my best ‘come get me’ look)
Him: (looks over, sees me, smirks back) daaamn, Desi… you look amazing…
Me: Oh, you think?
Him: I think… that if anyone else knew what I was thinking right now… they’d be blushing
Me: (I WAS blushing) I wanna know what you’re thinking
Him: It’s taking everything I’ve got not to come over there and push you up against the side of the house…
Me: (my heart was just pounding, I so wanted him to) um… uhh… (all thoughts had totally left my head)
Him: (gives me a smile) yeah, you have that effect on me, too… (looks at me for a second, not saying anything) god, I wish I could touch you.
Me: (whispering, because that’s all I could do) I wish you could, too.
Him: (about gets knocked over by someone running by and yelling about a keg) okay… so, what’s going on, before this turns into something that will definitely fuck up our cover…
Me: oh… right…will you do me a favor?
Him: of course
Me: you see the girl in the orange bikini top and yellow booty shorts by the pool?
Him: Yeah…
Me: that’s Jovan… the girl that puked on your shoes last year, remember that?
Him: (cracking up) yeah, I do… that was so fucking nasty…
Me: go say ‘hi’ to her, will you? (I’d told him about her crush on him)
Him: yeah, bring her over by me…
Me: (snickering at how entertaining this could be) alright…
Him: Now you have to do me a favor..
Me: of course.
Him: Go back where you are now when the fireworks start later.
Me: Okay… (I could see people walking over to talk to him and Jovan was coming over to me)…I’ll talk to you later. Love you.
Him: Yeah, me, too. (he hung up as some guy gave him the bro-hug)
Jovan starts yelping at me about Shaun – because I have so much control over what he does – I tell her to calm down… let’s go get a drink. She was highly agreeable with this. I realize it was sort of mean to set her up, but at the same time, maybe it will get her over the borderline stalker thing she’s got going on. I actually couldn’t believe her Nick-radar hadn’t gone off yet… but it only took her about 1.7 seconds to notice him once we started toward the house.
“OHMYGODIT’SNICKANDMANDY!” “ICAN’TBELIEVETHEY’RESTILLTOGETHER!”
I didn’t want to march her right up to him, but I had to get close enough he’d see us.. but he saw us immediately – he’d been watching me… and she was watching him. Being ever-smooth, he stepped over to us, right in front of Jovan. He gave her one of those killer smiles and says, “Hey… Jovan, right?”
Her jaw hit the ground. It was amazing. She just squeaks, “OHMYGODyouknowmyname.YOU KNOW MY NAME!”
He was trying really hard to keep a straight face, “Yeah, we met last 4th of July…”
She looks mildly horrified, “You remember that?”
(I KNEW she remembered!)
He nods, “You tend to remember when someone pukes on you.” He smiles again, “Looks like tonight is going better for you, though…”
“I.. just… oh my god… I am SO sorry about that… “ She was blushing like crazy.
“It’s all good, I survived.” He nods towards me, “Who’s your friend?”
Jovan is just staring at him still, and doesn’t say anything, so I smile at him, “I’m Desi.”
“Nice to meet you, Desi”, he gives me a smile and shakes my hand, squeezing a little.
I wanted him to just pull me to him and kiss me, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I elbow Jovan, who is still trying to recover, “we were getting drinks, remember?”
“Have a good night, ladies.” He gave me a wink as Jovan grabbed my arm and yanked me toward the house. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
We get inside and she starts slamming shots back, then looks at me. “Why’d you introduce yourself like that?”
“Like what?” I honestly didn’t really know what she was talking about.
“Desi. I’ve never heard you call yourself that… you always say Desiree.”
I hadn’t even realized it, but she was right… Shaun and Nick are the only people who call me Desi… and I never refer to myself that way. It guess it was just because it was him. I didn’t have to answer her, though, because she did another shot and I guess they hit her all at once, because she grabbed my arm and started asking for Jeremy. I got her back out to him and then went back over to Justin to tell him the whole story. We were amused.
I got so antsy after a while, waiting for the fireworks to start, because I wanted to see him again. I was trying to keep myself occupied by keep my eyes on everyone – the girls (and their boys), Shaun, and Nick. It finally got dark and everybody was ready to blow shit up, so the fireworks started almost immediately.
I told Justin I’d be back and snuck off to the side of the house, where Nick was already waiting. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him, then pushed me up against the side of the house – just like he said he wanted to – and kissed me so hard. I was glad for the fireworks, so nobody could hear me moan. Just the way he had me pressed up against the side of the house – his body totally against mine and the kissing… was amazing. He stopped kissing me to tell me he loved me, and then his mouth was on mine again. It was just so… intense… I guess it was that someone could have seen us or just being on edge from the conversation earlier… but… damn. It didn’t last too long, though, since neither one of us could really stay gone… but it was good enough. I got another quick kiss and he told me he’d see me tomorrow.
So I went back to Justin all giddy… watched some of the fireworks, hung out for a while, and then left when Shaun was ready to go, all pissy because he hadn’t managed to score any potential holiday nookie. He found the situation so entirely unacceptable that he actually stood up on one of the picnic tables and yelled, “who wants to fuck me?” … and, not so much shockingly, he got more than a few willing partners... he brought two or three of them home.. I wasn’t paying that much attention at that point. And judging by the noise coming from his room right now… I’d say his night turned out just fine.
Now, I’m going to try to find earplugs or something – because I want to sleep. Sleep.. and dream about what else might have happened during those fireworks.
-----
Desiree put the journal down again – having been startled by the amount of noise in the café – she looked around noticing it was now completely packed. She grabbed her things and left a tip on the table, it was time to go somewhere else.
As she walked back toward the hotel, her heart was beating a little faster as the thoughts raced through her mind. Wanting him so badly had been almost like torture sometimes… but she also knew by waiting and letting herself want him like that, had only made things better when she finally had him. The memories of having him made her walk to the hotel so quick she was surprised when she found herself at the revolving doors.
She wanted a place to be alone – she was completely unwilling to deal with her roommate at this point. She decided to talk to the desk clerk about any open rooms – it seemed unlikely, but it was worth a try.
After much negotiation, she had a bellboy on his way to the room to help her grab her bags and move them to a suite. Yes, she was paying too much for it, but it seemed like a fairly small price to pay for the privilege of being alone with her thoughts just then.
She left the shared room by only saying “bye” to the Human Percolator and took the private elevator to her new room. The concierge smiled as she walked past his desk and told her to let him know if she needed anything. She nodded, anxious to get to the room, get back to reading.
Once she was in the room and the bellboy had been tipped and disappeared, she tossed her journal on the bed and checked out the room, debating what to do. She decided a soak in the Jacuzzi seemed like an ideal reading situation and stripped down, running water in the tub while she pulled her hair up into a high, messy bun. When the tub was full, she turned on the jets, grabbed the journal and carefully stepped in, making sure not to get even a drop of water on the pages.