She leaned against the back wall of the elevator, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. The elevator reached her floor and she trudged down the hall, definitely not in the mood to deal with her snoring roommate. She quietly opened the door to the room and walked inside, reaching for her bag on the chair near the door. She felt around for her journal in the bag, grabbing it once her fingers brushed the beaded surface. She slipped back out the door, sure she could snag a pen from the clerk in the lobby.
She chose to take the steps down to the lobby, thinking there was no reason anyone would be milling around down there at this hour of the morning. She rounded the corner into the main lobby area, under the giant chandelier, pleased to find the entire space empty. She went to the desk, grabbing a pen monogrammed with the hotel’s name on it, and crossed the lobby to a cluster of chairs. She dropped down into the center chair and put her feet up on the low table in the middle of all the chairs, fully intending to start scribbling all her convoluted feelings into her journal. But instead, she tucked the pen behind her ear, and opened the journal to the first page - to read her own story from the beginning.
~~~
May 10
I love starting a new journal… looking at all these blank pages and wondering what the next months/years will bring to fill them up.
Yesterday was the last day of finals… so Shaun and I are finished until August. I wasn’t worried about any of my tests… I was secure enough with my grades that it didn’t really matter what happened with my finals I’d have come out okay. But Shaun, well, he enjoyed his first year at college a little too much and was pretty freaked out about not passing a couple of his classes. He think s he did alright, though. He should have after all the studying we did together… this apartment was like, Study Central the past few weeks. I was really proud of him, even if he did wait until the last possible minute to get to work…when he finally did it, he did it all the way. I still can’t believe my baby brother just finished his first year of college. I know he’s only a year younger than me, but sometimes we seem so different… far apart that there should be years between us.
It’s kind of depressing knowing that my social life is essentially at a standstill now… all my friends have gone home for the summer already, so I’m stuck here, basically by myself. Well, Shaun’s still here, of course, but hanging with my brother 24/7 doesn’t quite have the appeal of the occasional day out with the girls. Maybe next semester I should make a point to befriend a few people who actually live here in Tampa so I have someone to hang with when schools out. Or I could go home. Or not. I don’t know why I feel like that… but now that I’ve gotten away from there… I don’t want to go back. I’m so much happier here, it feels like I should have been here all along. I guess it’s obvious I love it… I mean, Shaun changed his college plans from SLU to come down to UT with me. (I’d never admit it to him, but I’m glad he did, I actually enjoy having him here.)
Speaking of Shaun- he just came bounding into my room, informing me that I’m going to a party with him tonight. Fantastic. A bunch of 18-19 year old frat boys. A frat-boy brother is one thing… many, many frat boys = hell. A few of the guys he hangs with are okay, the rest of them define the word “Neanderthal”.
Oh wait, apparently there’s more… this isn’t a left-over frat boy party… we’re venturing out tonight. Someone (still a frat boy) has been invited to a party down south and wanted Shaun to come (prime girl watching, no doubt) and Shaun, being deeply concerned with me staying at home on a Friday night told them that I’d come, too. Thanks, bro.
I don’t have anything better to do… so why the hell not? Maybe I can find a summer fling to keep me occupied. I just laughed at myself… I am so not the summer fling type. Well, maybe it’s time to be. I’m 20… I’m entitled to do crazy things, right?
Guess I should go start hooching myself out to fit in with the sorority sluts.
(later)
(okay, not technically later today, it’s actually like, 4:53 am on the 11th, but whatever)
I love my brother. I love his frat brothers. (Wait, not that starry-eyed.. I take that back). Okay… processing thoughts… like, I can’t even think straight right now. I was just sitting there, watching Shaun do hits from a beer bong (pointless).. when this guys comes charging through the room, and trips over nothing and falls, literally, face down in my lap. I shriek, my drink goes flying. Supremely embarrassed blonde guy manages to pick himself up off me, blushing like crazy and apologize. At least, I think he apologized… I was too busy being lost in his blue eyes to actually know what he said… but I didn’t care. And that’s when it got interesting.
Turns out blonde guy, Nick, is the one that everyone has been telling Shaun (who has in turn been telling me) that I should meet. Tiny problem- he’s got a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend. However, that did not stop him from kissing me (or me from kissing him back). But I’ll get into that later. I need sleep now. Sleep and lots of dreams about those eyes…