“No, when you kiss me, I want to die.” I said, saying the line along with Buffy. I sighed. Buffy. Angel. It was all so… tragic and romantic. Sort of like my own life, only minus the vampires. And the romance. And really, the tragedy. So it was nothing like my life. But it was enough to keep me entertained for a few days. “Entertained” was probably the wrong word…I was on season two of the five seasons of Buffy I’d bought in another fit of boredom a few days ago. Since the visit from Macy, there’d been little in the way of excitement for me.
All the kissing talk was making me mopey, so I paused the screen on a good shot of Angel and got up to go to the kitchen. I couldn’t help but think of all the kisses I wasn’t getting now… and the kisses I had gotten in the past. I should have known immediately about Zack… that he wasn’t someone I should have been with…there was no spark, no magic in his kisses. Honestly, he was a pretty terrible kisser. At least for me. Maybe he rocked Gia’s world. The way Nick had rocked mine. From the first kiss… it was electric. And every kiss after that – was the same… electrifying.
I opened the freezer and reached into the ice tray for a piece of ice to crunch on… a sure sign of sexual frustration, I’ve been told… and jumped a little when I heard my cell phone ringing with Nick’s ringtone.
“I love the way you look at me, I love the way you smack my ass, I love the dirty things you do, when I have control of you…”* I sang along with the ringtone as I hurried to get the phone, I didn’t want to miss him. “What’s up, Dick?”
“Hey Winter…” he said, laughing. “I have to admit, I miss hearing that sometimes…”
“I guess that means you need to call more.” I told him.
“I know… I miss you… which is why I was calling…”
I giggled, “You needed the abuse?”
He snorted. “Yeah… you know how I like it.”
“Yeah, baby… I know how to do you right.” I said, half teasing and half wishing I actually could.
“No doubt,” he mumbled, then quickly said, “I was wondering if you wanted to come on the road for a few days. I’m bored… the guys have been asking about you… I thought you might want a change of scenery…”
I interrupted him, “YES! When?”
He didn’t need to give me reasons, or try to convince me, I was ready to go. Aside from the crazy fans who hated me, I loved being on the road. And it would be nice to be around actual people for a while.
“Okay then… next Monday… I’ll fly you out to meet me… it’s like Midwest week… so it’s not going to be all that exciting…”
I jumped in again, “We always have fun on the road.”
He chuckled a little, “Yeah, that’s why I called. The house will be fine for a few days… I’ll have Macy or someone stop by…”
“What about Macy? Is she going to freak out that I’m going to be with you?” I asked. I guess I could ask her, too, if I saw her again.
“No. It’ll be fine…” he said, sounding more than a little unsure. “I mean, nothing’s going to happen…” His words came out slowly, like he was thinking about something else as he said them… maybe remembering all the things that DID happen when we had hours alone on the bus.
“You’re right, Nick. It’ll be fine,” I assured him. It might kill me, but I’d behave… I wasn’t going to fuck things up for him and Macy.
“Yeah. Okay. So, I’ll get back to you about flights and stuff… I’m gonna call Macy… I’ll talk to you later.”
“Aight…. Bye.” I waited for him to say good-bye and hung up. I wondered about talking to Macy – I hadn’t gotten her number or anyway to get ahold of her. I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to talk to her.
I went back into the kitchen, to get another ice cube to crunch on. Whether the ice theory was true or not, I was feeling all kinds of frustrated now. I knew what was going through Nick’s head… it was the same thing on my mind now. A lot of hours on the bus… you get bored. Boredom leads to creativity. And nothing rivals bus sex when it comes to creativity. I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my face at the memory of some of the things we tried to pass the time. I should have put Nick’s artistic skills to use – he could have sketched the positions and we’d have made an updated Kama Sutra. I started crunching the hell out of the ice… I seriously had to find an outlet for this… energy.
Out of nowhere, a thought occurred to me and I went running to Nick’s office, and pulled out the business card drawer. I started flipping through them, and sure enough, close to the top, was a card for “Macy Simpson, assistant to the director”. Calling her at work wasn’t ideal, but at least I could ask for her number at home or something.
I went to get the phone and dialed the number, totally not catching anything the extremely young-sounding receptionist rattled off. “Hi, I’d like Macy Simpson, please.”
“Just one moment, please!” I heard, then a few clicks.
“Hello, this is Macy Simpson, what may I do for you?”
“Well, Miss Simpson, I’d really like your phone number.” I said, figuring I might as well have a little fun with this.
“Excuse me?”
“You have a great voice, I’d love to get your number…”
“I hardly think this is an appropriate conversation, please do not call back…”
“Macy! It’s Summer, calm down… I was just messing with you.” I said.
“Summer? Oh my god… you ARE just like Nick.” She said, sounding much more relaxed than she had just moments before. Then it seemed to suddenly occur to her just how weird it was that I was calling her at work. “Oh no.. Nick… is he okay? Did something happen to him?”
“Whoa… calm down…no… he’s fine. I just got off the phone with him. I was just calling to see if I actually could get your number… I wanted to talk to you later and I didn’t get it when you came over…” I explained.
“Oh, sure… sorry, I should have thought of that…” She gave me her number, and told me when she usually got off work, so I could call later in the afternoon.
When I got off the phone, I was at a loss for something to do again. Might as well get some exercise. I went to change clothes – slipping on a bikini top and booty shorts – if I was going to go running on the beach, I might as well give the boys a view they could enjoy.
---
I stepped out of the shower feeling good. I was excercised, I was cleaned, I was going to go see my Boys, I was… supposed to call Macy. I didn’t bother to get dressed and went back to the kitchen, where I’d written her number down. I dialed and reached into the freezer for more ice to crunch while I waited.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Macy… it’s Summer.”
“Hey… Hi! What’s up? You made me curious calling me earlier,” she said.
“I didn’t know how to get ahold of you… I found your business card in Nick’s stash…”
She interrupted me, “He has my card? Oh my god.. I gave that to him the night I met him…”
“You obviously made quite an impression.” I told her.
She sighed, a content, happy sound, and I knew she was smiling. After a moment she said, “You want to get together again soon?”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “Yeah, sure…”
“Do you work out?” she asked.
Again, not expecting that. “Um, yeah. I run… I took kickboxing for years back home… I’d been thinking of trying to find a gym out here…. I just haven’t yet…”
“You can come with me! I usually work out with Cass and Marina, but they’ve started taking this stripping class or something and there is no way I’m doing that…”
“Stripping class?” My interest was piqued. I didn’t really feel like I needed any help.. God knows I’ve never gotten any complaints… but stripping as a form of fitness? That is an idea I can get down with.
“Yeah, so weird, right? So, I’d love to have someone to work out with…” she kept talking, but I sort of stopped listening. Why would a stripping class be weird? Surely she didn’t mean she wasn’t into stripping… “… maybe next week then?” I heard her asking.
“Next week? What?”
“Yeah, we can go to the gym next week…”
“Oh, right. Um, actually next week is what I was calling you about.” Might as well get it out there.
“What about it?”
“Nick is going to call you at some point, and tell you that I’m going to go hang out with him on the road for a while…” I paused to give her a chance to protest immediately, if need be.
There was silence and then she asked, “Did he ask you to?”
“Yeah.”
She sighed again, but this time it wasn’t a happy one. “I wish I could go with him… but he tells me it’s better if I don’t. He says he misses me…”
“Macy, I know he misses you. I know he just asked me because I’ve been there, done that and I don’t have any other responsibilities right now. You have a job. You have a life. I don’t.” I stopped to laugh at myself, and continued, “People will see me while I’m out there… and they’ll talk. It probably won’t be good, but it will be good for you. They know me. They can talk all the shit they want about me… I don’t care.”
More silence. “You’ll be on the bus together, I guess?”
“Yes… and that was the main reason I wanted to talk to you before he did. I promise you have nothing to worry about. We know how to behave.” I stopped just short of saying ‘trust me’ because I wasn’t entirely sure that she should.
“I know… I trust you.”
Shit.
---
I stared into the closet, looking at the somewhat limited selection of clothes that I had to choose from. When I’d left Florida, I hadn’t been all that concerned with what I was bringing – I knew I wasn’t going to see that many people and I just wanted to get the hell away. And since I’d been in LA – I’d done plenty of shopping, but apparently not enough buying. I’d tossed all my cute stuff into my bag already… and it wasn’t even half full.
I went to the bed and flopped down across it. I didn’t know why I was really worried – those guys knew me. They’d seen me looking like hell on toast…and they’d seen me look all kinds of amazing… so it wasn’t like I really had to impress any of them. But I did want to look good… if for no other reason than those… girls. The fucking haters who would recognize me and still want to start shit… just because I was there. They’d make up whatever story they wanted to, just because they could. Ahhh, just like old times.
I sat back up. I needed to go shopping.
___
“Hel…hello??” I said, grabbing the phone as I tried to jump on my suitcase again. I may have gone a little overboard with the shopping. Having a goal, or whatever it was, had made me a little… ambitious.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Nick asked, probably hoping he’d interrupted something more interesting than he really had.
“Oh.. hey Nick…” I started laughing as I rolled off the suitcase. “I’m just packing.”
“Packing? Yeah, right.” He laughed. “So you’re ready to go?”
“Yes! I got the flight info, the address where I’m meeting you, and now I’m just trying to shove everything in my suitcase.” I told him.
“You’re only going to be gone for like, a week…” he reminded me.
I shoved the suitcase closed and hurriedly zipped it shut, saying “I realize this… but I also know there are going to be a lot of people looking at me.”
“Yeah, I thought about that… I told Macy you were coming out… and she might hear things, but she should just ignore them…”
“I’ve been there, done that. They can’t say anything new, except maybe to speculate that we were trying it again for some reason… and that would be good for Macy, anyway.” I said, thinking carefully about what I was telling him, so I didn’t mention anything about having spoken to Macy.
“That’s true…” he said, sounding distracted, like he was either thinking about what I’d just said or.. something. “Hey, Howie’s trying to get my attention… I gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yep!” I hung up, put the phone back on it’s cradle and hoisted my luggage off the bed. I was ready to roll.
-----
I finally opened my eyes as the plane skidded across the runway and began to taxi to the gate. I was glad I had acquired such impressive flight-sleeping skills in my travels. The idea of being dropped into Missouri hardly inspired me to want to stay awake. I jumped up when the plane stopped and grabbed my carry-on bags and just about shoved an older couple out of the way to get off the plane. I was beyond excited now that I was close Nick, close to the Boys – I’d always loved those guys, and as close to a part of my life that I’d have given anything to get back.
I followed the signs through the airport to get to the baggage claim and tapped my foot, waiting impatiently for my neon green luggage to appear on the carousel. Once I had everything, I was practically bolting for the doors to find a cab. I’d been to St. Louis before – with Nick – but I didn’t really have any memories of it. I think we might have gone to a mall –but that wasn’t saying much… we hit malls in almost every city we’d been to… free time meant malls. All those guys could shop like no one’s business. Well, maybe not Brian so much… but even Nick, complain as he may, could tear up a store.
I watched out the windows as the cab went zipping towards the venue that Nick had told me to meet him at. At some point within my travel experience, I had determined that basically every city looks exactly the same around the airport. I slouched down in the seat, trying not to think of all the things that could have gone down on the seat. Knowing some of the things I’d done in the back of a cab… I can only imagine other people must have done the same things… or worse.
As we made it downtown – the cab driver had been talking almost non-stop since I’d gotten in the car – I started asking a few questions about the buildings we were passing. If he was going to talk, it might as well be about something I was at least a little interested in. City history did not prove to be his strong point, so I tuned him out again.
The cab approached the venue and I was surprised to find that I was going to have a little bit of a problem. There were already a cluster of girls standing around near the buses, hoping for a glimpse of their favorite Boy. It always entertained me, the way they’d wait… hoping for the extremely unlikely chance to meet them. The problem was – how was I going to get past them? I didn’t want to get out of the cab and immediately have to deal with, “OHMYGODWHYAREYOUHERE?” It seemed a little self-righteous to assume they’d care… but at the same time, if they were willing to hang out here by the buses 6 or 7 hours before the concert started… it seemed like a fairly safe bet they probably would care.
The cab stopped as the driver announced “Here ya go, little lady!”
I looked at him in the rearview mirror, like, ‘did you seriously just say that?’ But then I smiled and asked him to hold on just a second. I called Nick’s cell phone and waited for him to answer.
“What’s up? Are you here?” he asked, as soon as I heard him pick up.
“Yeah, I’m outside… with a bunch of girls. Can someone come out and distract them?” I asked.
He laughed, “Yeah, we haven’t started yet… I’ll come out… just come inside… I’ll get someone to get your bags out of the cab.”
“Thanks.” I hung up and gave the cab driver my fare and a generous tip. “Someone will come out and get my bags, okay?”
“Sure thing, beautiful.”
I rolled my eyes and waited for the girls to start shrieking so I could get out of the car.
“NIIICCKKK!”
Well, that didn’t take long. I got out of the cab and walked right past everyone – but not without taking a moment to giggle at Nick and the crazy girls hyperventilating around him. Looked like he was always going to have that effect on women.
Once I was in the door I saw a big guy I didn’t recognize knocking on the cab driver’s window and telling him to open the trunk.
“DAMN, girl!”
I spun around to see Alex looking me up and down. He held his arms open and I ran over to him squealing. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you!”
“The feeling is mutual, I assure you.” He said, hugging me tight. His hand slipped down and grabbed my ass, causing me to giggle. “You know, I remember saying that when you and Nick broke up… you were supposed to let me be the first to know…”
“Dude, you’re always fucking engaged when I’m single!” I teased.
“But you’re single now, right?” he asked, his eyes bright with a mischievous look.
I smirked, “I am indeed.”
“Lucky me…” He gave me a kiss on the cheek, “We’ll finish this conversation later… but I need to go rescue Nick.”
“Oh, that’s a good plan… sacrifice yourself for him… he’s probably not worth it…” I joked.
“Believe me, I know he’s not,” he said, laughing. He stuck his head out the door, “NICK-AY!! Get back in here!”
I could tell from the wails of disappointment echoing through the door that he was trying to tell them he had to leave. I saw Alex jump out of the way as Nick came bolting through the doors.
I laughed at his crazy expression as he came charging at me, scooping me up and swinging me around. “Awww, you DO miss me!” I gave him a few sloppy kisses on the cheek and wrapped my legs around him. “Thanks for the distraction…”
“Thanks for coming.” He said, squeezing me in a hug. “Max got all your stuff in my bus, so you can sneak back out there if you want to change or whatever.”
I landed on the floor when he let me go, and looked at him indignantly, “Are you suggesting that I need to change?”
Alex appeared right beside him and said, “No, you do not need to change… unless it was into … something more comfortable…”
“And what’s more comfortable than nothing?” I asked, giving them both a flirtatious smile.
“OOO-kay.. time to go back to work…” Nick announced grabbing Alex by the shoulder and propelling him back toward the stage.
I snickered at the two of them, I was happy just to be around them… this week was going to be good for me.
(* "control" - Puddle of Mudd)