Edgar's Ten Rules to Flirting

Cyan watches as Sabin and Edgar quarrel(as usual, though quarrel is an 
understatement)
Sabin:GAH! Thats my argument and I'm sticking to it!BUM RUSH!
Sabin Bum Rushes Edgar
Cyan:Might thou ask why thee and thee are fighting?
Edgar:I what?
Sabin:I think he asked why we were fighting, Edgar.
Edgar:Oh, I wish he would talk in English sometimes.
Sabin:You didnt hafta put up with him and Gau at the same time, consider 
yourself lucky.
Cyan:Might thou get an answer to thou's question to thee's?
Sabin:I say its wrong to flirt with people who are nine years younger than 
you.
Edgar:What'd he say?
Sabin:He wanted an answer.
Edgar:Oh...well anyways! It's not wrong to flirt with any kinda girls!
Sabin:What if they're married?
Edgar:That's besides the point!
Cyan:Thou art confused at what is happening.
Sabin:Shut up, Cyan! You're always confused!
Edgar:He what?
Sabin:You too, Edgar.
Celes walks in glancing at three men.
Celes:My natural instincts tell me I should be afraid that I'm in the room 
with both the Figaro brothers....especially Edgar.
Cyan:May thou ask a question to the miss?
Celes:What'd he say?Sabin, what'd he say? You're the only one who understands him!
Sabin:Ummmmm i think he has a question for you.
Celes:Ok, Cyan, go ahead.
Cyan:Why dost thee art afraid of the Figaro Brothers?
Celes+Edgar:Sabin Translation!NOW!
Sabin:Geez!Ok!He asked why Celes is afraid of Edgar and I.
Edgar noticing Celes for the first time gives her his flirty smile
Celes:Well, Cyan the reason I'm afraid of Edgar is hes just, well, plain flirty 
and Sabin's a social outcast!
Edgar:suddenly interrupting Celes Just shut up! And go away all of you! I've 
gotta prove my point to Sabin, or else those big people out that window there
are gonnna be mad!
Cyan and Celes leave
Sabin:What big people?Brother youre insane!
Edgar:Just shut up, I've gotta give you my "Ten Rules of Flirting" presentation.
Sabin:My instincts tell me I'm not gonna like this.
Sabin and Edgar begin to walk around with the rest of the FF3 gang following 
them but they dont notice
Edgar:Rule number 1, if it's of the feminine sex flirt with it
Sabin:Wha???
Edgar:To put it in terms your brain can understand, you moron, if it's a girl 
try to get a date.
Celes+Terra+Relm:Hey!I resent that remark!
Edgar and Sabin turn to see everyone else
Sabin+Edgar:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Edgar:Speaking of Relm, there is a restriction to every rule, dear brother, and 
that brings us to rule number 2.
Sabin:More rules?!No wonder this guy is still single!
Edgar:ERHEM!Like I was saying, to flirt with the person the person must hold 
beauty.
Everyone but Edgar:YOU FLIRT WITH YOURSELF?!
Edgar has already taken out a mirror and is flirting with his reflection
Sabin pulls out a phone and calls the Figaro Mental Home
Sabin:Hello?I'd like to register Edgar Figaro in your home.What?He's already 
registered?!
Edgar:Lets continue!And please, no more distractions!
Edgar looks to his watch
Edgar:Uh Oh!Mental Medicine time!be right back!
Everyone:Sheesh forget it!
Celes:Lets all go to the mall and leave Edgar to his flirting games.
Sabin:I thought I was a social outcast though.
Celes:Oh......I meant Gau.
Gau:Uawoooaoo
Sabin:Shut up Gau!
Gau:Uaooo
Celes kicks Gau so hard he goes flying into Edgar

WAY over at the mental hospital
Gau slams into Edgar at high Velocity
Edgar:Why Gau! You came to hear the rest of my presentation!
Gau:Waaoooooo Gau head gonna hurt!
Edgar babbles on about his rules of flirting
Meanwhile, at the mall, everyone is sipping drinks and chatting happily
Cyan:Sir Edgar never did reach the finish to thee's presentation on flirting, 
did thee?
Sabin:It's simple: if it's female and moves he flirts with it. I still say its 
not right to flirt with people any more than 5 years out of your age range.
Celes and Cyan kiss
Sabin:My comment is withdrawn.
Sabin runs for dear gods life