Talk About It

by Nomelon

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Jared/Jensen

Summary: Jim Beaver said that Jensen spent a lot of time crying while they were shooting the finale. Dean didn't shed a single tear.

Setting/Spoilers: 3.16

Disclaimer: all belongs to CW & Kripke. No money is being made, yadda yadda.

~~~

They've done it. Jensen wasn't sure they'd ever get here, but season three is officially in the can. Dean is stuck in hell for the summer, and Jensen's got nothing to do for five whole days before he has to get on a plane and go back to work, embarking on his grand foray into the wonderful world of 3-D moviemaking.

He intends to spend most of it sleeping.

They're home, at fucking last, no four a.m. start tomorrow, no more wrap parties, no more interviews. Just home and sleep and Jared and beer, not necessarily in that order.

"You want to talk about it now?"

Jared is leaning on the wall, watching him closely. He's just pulled off his knitted cap so his hair is sticking up in all directions, and he looks way too goofy right now to be asking Jensen questions like this, open and sincere and irritatingly nice.

He's talking about the crying. The embarrassing, ridiculous, public, non-stop fucking crying that Jensen has been doing on set for the last couple of days.

It's the absolute last thing that Jensen wants to talk about.

Jared folds his arms over his chest and just waits him out. Not for the first time Jensen thinks that if he keeps bulking up like this, maybe they aren't going to need CGI for the next Hulk movie. They can just paint Jared green and get him to do it.

Jensen throws his keys on the counter and grabs a beer from the fridge, taking a long swallow. "No," he says, tossing the cap in the sink. "I don't."

Jared grins. "You're such a girl, you know that?"

"Shut up, man. Just shut up." Jensen slams the bottle down on the counter -- too hard, beer foams up everywhere -- and he sighs, taking off his glasses to rub at his tired eyes.

Jared's grin is ancient history. "Jensen, what? I didn't... I'm sorry."

"Look, it's just fucking stupid, all right? It's nothing."

"Okay," Jared says. "Okay." And he sounds like he means it.

He steps into Jensen's space, and then there are huge, warm hands on Jensen's jaw, tilting his face up, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones. Just like always it unwinds tension that Jensen didn't even know he was carrying around with him. Just like always it settles warmth deep in his bones and lays a sweet little ache low in his belly.

Jared backs Jensen slowly into the corner until there's only the two of them, the rest of the world fading away, and Jensen just wants to lay his head on Jared's chest and sleep for a hundred years.

"Fucker," he whispers, gritting his teeth and scowling, trying his damnedest not to let Jared's soft touches undo him. "You've seen me do this before."

"Yeah. I know. It's just... It's a little extreme, Jensen, y'know?"

"I know. It's stupid. Trust me, I know. But... it's like... I can't let go. I can't see you like that and just switch it off."

"Jensen," Jared murmurs, concerned now.

"It breaks me up inside."

"Jen." Jared's breath is warm on his face, sweet and familiar, and Jensen grabs the tail of Jared's shirt and just holds on.

"I gotta spend so much time thinking about it," Jensen says. "Stupid, fucking Sam and all the fucking weeping and wailing and fucking dying on each other all the time, but it's your face. It's you I have to think about."

Jensen takes a deep, shaky breath. He knows how dumb this is. Character bleed is a bitch, and he may be way more attached to Sam and Dean than any other characters in his entire career, but he's been an actor for a long time.

He's better than this.

But Jared is just shaking his head. "It's okay. It's okay. I get it. I do."

Jensen tries to turn his face away, feeling endlessly stupid. Jared's too close, seeing too much, and Jensen's too exposed like this.

"Jay, don't make this into a thing, okay? I don't need to hear it, really. I'm just really tired."

But Jared won't let him hide away. Jared kisses him, soft and serious, and there's no way Jensen can resist this. He never could. Jared's kisses are intense, focused, like there's nothing else in the world he'd rather being doing than this, right here, right now, but when he pulls back, he's smiling.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

Jensen can only nod.

"And you're a complete dumbass, but it's sort of amazing that you get like this. Now come to bed with me and I'll maybe do that thing you like before you fall asleep on me. Deal?"

Jensen nods again, and lets Jared lead him towards the bedroom, because honestly? There's nothing else he'd rather being doing either.

The end.