Silver Cloud, Bitter Lining (5/?)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- 'The Gift.'

Distribution- FF.net, AOH anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey, Anya/Xander. Cordy/Xander allusions

Rating- R

Summary- Cordy gets a shock

Disclaimer- not mine… yadda, yadda

Notes- sequel to 'Southern Comfort.' You'll probably want to read that first…

They heard the sound of laughter even before they got inside the house.

Cordelia wondered briefly how the sound of laughter could sound so alien to her and yet so natural at the same time. The Hyperion had never been a place filled with laughter, not even in the early days but instead brimming with amicable friendship. A warm smile every morning and snatched giggles over everyday human activity, last night's Letterman and Gunn's endless stream of jokes over frogs, or hedgehogs or religion often promoted peals of laughter even from Wesley, who Cordy suspected sometimes didn’t really understand but he laughed anyway along with them.

Cordelia wonders when all that was lost. Before Angel went physco left them and then returned? Or when they returned from Pylea, bringing Fred back with them and therefore banishing all happiness?

All the air is filled with now is silence and tension. The only sound now is of tears, if not from Connor, from Fred and before her Lilah, and although he doesn’t admit it Cordy knows Lindsey cries too.

Why and when did the atmosphere suddenly become so black and smoky? They way they hardly ever talked, only whispered single words like 'harder,' or 'faster' when they think no-one is around or at least listening, illicit kisses that make them warm momentarily but when they break away the coldness seeps in again. Their moans are so quiet they're almost soundless, the noise muffled by hands over mouths so no one hears them and all that remains now are the shells of these memories clinging to the walls.

But deeps down of course Cordelia knows. She knows all the pain comes from Lindsey and Lilah. She knows the day she let them move in they brought their black auras with them, however much they try to hide them, the darkness is still there. It surrounds them, snatching every bit of innocence and goodness and giving it to them to make them a little greyer.

And then Cordy is suddenly snapped back to reality as they reach the porch. She steals a glance at Lilah immediately feeling guilty horrified at where her thoughts are taking her. When did she get so tired and pale? And for someone that's four months pregnant she looks thinner than she ever has done before. Her eyes always hold red rims and often become shiny with tears when she talks and dark circles have gathered beneath them that's she's not even attempting to cover up with concealer anymore.

Cordy touches her arm lightly, feeling completely useless and afraid to touch her. But somehow that's enough for Lilah; just to know she's not alone because she gives Cordy a weak smile. And Cordy hasn’t seen Lilah smile once since they got to Sunnydale, not even at Dawn.

Lilah opens the front door and steps inside, Cordy following her. Another wave of foreign laughter hits them again.

The laughter was coming from the living room. Cordy and Lilah glanced inside to see Buffy, Willow and Dawn surrounding a girl wearing a wedding dress, balancing precariously on the coffee table in the centre of the room so the others could adjust her dress. They kneel beside her, pins in their mouths and by their sides so they can take up the hem of her dress to make it the perfect length.

And the dress sure is beautiful. White, of course but not pure white so it's almost cream. When it catches the half-light from the setting sun gold catches on the material and flecks of orange materialise.

Cordy vaguely recognises the girl as Anya, who transferred to Sunnydale in senior year, the girl who Xander took to prom.

From this scene of happy nervousness, excitement and friendship they barely notice Cordy and Lilah stood in the doorway given the distinct impression they're on the outside looking in.

"Hey," Dawn said, getting up from her position on the floor where she had been fluffing Anya's dress.

"Hey," Cordelia said, a little confusedly.

"Anya, you know Cordelia, and this is Lilah," Buffy introduced them.

"Pleased to meet you," Anya gushed, a little too enthusiastically, "Now they can give an opinion on my dress."

"It's… white…" Cordy said.

"Yeah… white…" Lilah said, looking to Dawn for help.

"Oh my god we didn’t tell you guys!" Dawn suddenly realised, "Xander and Anya are getting married on Saturday."

Lilah looked at Cordelia instantly, compassion flashing briefly through her eyes.

"Oh," Cordy began, "congratulations. I'm kinda tired so I'm just gonna go upstairs and catch forty…"

Without another word she turned around and made her way up the stairs.

"Of course you're welcome to come…" Anya told Lilah, "We need some more human people to fill out my side of the church."

"Don’t ask…" Willow told Lilah with a smile.

"I'm kind of worn out too… I didn’t get much sleep last night so I think I might just go and lie down for an hour or so…"

"You can use my room… if you need some quiet…" Buffy offered.

"Thankyou," Lilah said smiling at Buffy's hospitality.

"Do you need something to help you sleep?" Dawn asked Lilah, "I think we have Nytol or something…"

"Not a good idea…" she told Dawn elusively as she headed up the stairs.

She knocked on the door of the room she was sharing with Cordy.

"Cordy?" she said through the wood, "Can I come in?"

"Sure…" she heard Cordy say faintly.

Lilah opened the door and sat next to Cordy on the bed.

"Are you OK?" Lilah asked, her voice full of consideration.

"I'm fine…"

"But Xander is getting married… that's got to be pretty tough."

"But you have to move on… anyway how are you? This whole marriage thing… is it making you just… remember?"

"Like you said… you have to move on…"