Southern Comfort (26/?)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- none

Distribution- FF.net, AOH anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- R

Summary- everyone deals…

Disclaimer- not mine… yadda, yadda

"Am I the only one that's confused?" Angel whispered.

Angel, Cordy holding Connor, Wesley and Fred formed a watchful semi circle a little away from the office door so they could eavesdrop.

"It seems quite simple really," Wesley sniffed coldly, "Lilah has been sleeping with Gunn. Lindsey has discovered them together and…"

"Pulled a total wig…" Cordy finished for him. "Let's get the facts straight, Wes. Factoid number one. Lilah and Gunn. Only once and not… fully. Factoid number two. Lindsey did not 'discover' them together. He just knew…"

"I don't understand how he could just know…" Wesley said.

"When you've fond someone… your soulmate… it's like ESP… you can just tell. The way she looked at Gunn… the way she used to look at him." Fred said, moving away from them her eyes becoming tear-stricken.

Wesley shot a look at Cordelia and Angel before following Fred.

"Are you OK?" he asked her kindly.

"How could Gunn do this?" she asked, her voice thick with tears.

"I don’t know…" Wesley told her, "How could he do this to you?"

"I'm not the one he left pregnant and alone…" she told him, her voice cracking with sympathy, "Poor Lilah."

"We'll help her through this… we will… but right now we just have to get her through the day in one piece…"

In Cordy's arms, Connor stirred and cried slightly.

"Here," Cordy said, handing Connor to Angel, "Maybe you should take him upstairs… not really helping…"

Angel nodded, touching Cordy's arm in comfort as he walked away.

The door to the office opened and Lindsey strode out, slamming the door behind him.

Cordy heard Lilah slide the bolt of the door across. Lindsey hesitated momentarily before looking back at the door and walking towards the main entrance of the hotel.

Cordy followed him.

"Lindsey?" she said her voice full of anxiety as she caught his arm gently, "Are you OK? Do you need to talk?"

"No," he snapped at her, jerking his arm away from her sharply, banging the door shut behind him.

Cordy sighed and turned back to Wesley and Fred.

"Do you want us to follow him?" Fred asked.

Cordy nodded.

Where do we even start looking in a city of fifteen million?" Wesley asked a little cynically.

"Caritas," Cordy told him instantaneously, "Lindsey's probably gonna want to drink himself into oblivion. If not try 'Blakes.' It's a cellar bar about half way down Glendale. That's the first bar he ever took Lilah to… he might be there…"

"No problem," Wesley said.

"Are you OK?" Cordy asked Fred.

"I'll be fine," Fred said, with a brave smile.

"I'm sorry about this," Cordy told Wesley.

"It's not your fault."

"Do you regret letting them stay?" Cordy asked.

"No," he told her honestly, "We help the helpless. What do you think they are?"

*****

"There," Fred said pointing to Lindsey sat dejectedly at the bar of the near deserted Caritas.

They cautiously made their way down the steps and over to the bar, sitting on the chrome bar stools, either side of Lindsey.

Lorne stood behind the bar and smiled sympathetically acknowledging Fred and Wesley.

In front of Lindsey stood four empty shot glasses of what Fred guessed had probably been scotch.

"What's this?" Lindsey asked Fred, a little slurred, "The scorned people's society. You think maybe you and I should hook up?"

"Lindsey… this isn't the way…" Wesley tried to rationalise with him, taking Lindsey's fifth shot glass from his hand.

"He's right, buddy," Lorne told him.

"How is drinking going to solve anything?" Wesley asked.

"She's gonna kill my kid," Lindsey said, his voice brimming with emotion, "Or at least the kid with the potential to be mine. Fifty, fifty right?"

"Go back…" Fred advised, "She needs you to tell her you love her. And then everything will be OK."

"If this were never-never land," Lindsey said cynically, "she told me it was beyond repair."

"And you just walked out on her… for the second time," Fred said, her inner pain beginning to turn to anger.

"You know all we ever had was Southern Comfort…" Lindsey droned on, "We used to sit in my office and drink a bottle of it between us just to escape the world. Maybe that's the last thing between us."

The silence fell upon them as they stared into the empty shot glasses looking for answers and finding none…

*****

"Lilah," Cordy said knocking on the office door, "Lilah. It's us. Can we come in?"

"OK," Lilah said quietly, from the other side of the room.

"You locked the door," Cordy said, rattling the door handle for emphasis, shooting and look at Angel who stood behind her.

"Oh… right."

"Which means you have to get up to open it…" Cordy said calmly and concerned. "I've got Angel with me do you want him to kick it down?"

"No it's OK…"

Cordy was relieved to hear movement on the other side of the door and the sound of the bolt grating across its hinge.

Lilah opened the door and they followed her inside. She sat down nervously in the leather chair behind the desk.

Cordy and Angel hesitated slightly at the door before Cordy pulled another chair over next to Lilah's, silently not knowing what to do or say next.

Silence swallowed the room. And the silence stayed.

Suddenly, Lilah jerked her head up towards Angel.

"Where's Connor?" she asked him.

Angel and Cordy exchanged a look.

"He's upstairs…" Angel said unsurely.

"Is he awake?" Lilah asked him.

Angel nodded.

"Will you go and get him?" Lilah asked.

"I'm not sure that's such a great idea…" Cordy told her cautiously.

"No it's fine…" Lilah said, "Having him around makes me feel… safer somehow."

Angel looked to Cordy who nodded slightly. He walked silently out of the room.

Cordy and Lilah just looked at each other for a moment before Cordy enveloped Lilah in a crushing hug.

"Are you OK?" Cordy asked concerned.

"OK would be an understatement… right now I'm actually trying to keep from dying… it hurts to breathe."

"It'll get better," Cordy reassured her, "Just take it one minute at a time. Then one hour at a time…"

"But that way leads to facing the future… without Lindsey."

"He'll come back…" Cordy said confidently, "He just needs some time… and some space."

"And that's what I want to give him… so I'm leaving…"

"What? When?" Cordy asked.

"Tomorrow… after the case." Lilah told her, "I'm going back home. But you can guarantee I'll be crawling out of my skin in a few hours back in that place…"

"I love my hometown," Cordy told her, "How about I do you a deal?"

"What?" Lilah asked intrigued.

"You go home… you have some Lilah and family time… say for a week… then the week after I'll meet you in Sunnydale. I'll show you my hometown… it's where Dawn lives we can crash at hers… they won’t mind… and then if you're ready we can come back…"

Lilah considered Cordy's offer for a while before smiling.

"OK… sounds good…" Lilah said.

"What sounds good?" Angel asked from the doorway, Connor in his arms.

"Road trip," Cordy said taking Connor from him.

"I'm going home tomorrow," Lilah told Angel.

"Here do you wanna hold him?" Cordy asked Lilah. She nodded and Cordy handed Connor to her.

Lilah looked down at him, tears forming in her eyes.

"He's so grown-up now… when we first got here he was so small… so helpless. And soon he'll be crawling around all by himself. Before Connor I wouldn't have even known how to hold a baby…" her voice cracked with emotion.

"Hey, it's OK…" Cordy said putting a comforting arm around her shoulder, "What's the matter?"

"There's this tiny baby inside me… and it's so defenceless… and I wanted to kill it…"

"But you love it? Angel cut in, "Because he or she is yours?"

She nodded, grateful that somebody finally understood.

Suddenly, Lindsey was stood in the doorway.

Wordlessly, Angel took Connor as Lindsey moved over to Lilah wrapping his arms around her. They both clung to each other crying, and sunk to the floor.

Cordy ushered Angel out of the door.

"Shouldn’t we stay?" Angel asked, "They might rip each other to ribbons."

Cordy shook her head.

"Sometimes maybe I think you have to fall apart completely before you can even begin to put something back together again…"