Southern Comfort (23/?)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- none

Distribution- FF.net, AOH anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- R

Summary- The morning of the court case dawns…

Disclaimer- not mine… yadda, yadda

"Do you want to tell them or shall I?" Lindsey asked Lilah as they stood outside the front door of the Hyperion.

The sky was fast becoming milky pink with the promise of a new day sure to be filled with both happiness and despair for everyone.

They'd agreed, somewhere between three and four a.m. when they'd been driving mindlessly around the LA suburbs in their hired BMW, to tell the others about them getting married. Not about the baby. Not yet. They'd decided it wouldn't be fair and too much to take in on the day their court case began.

"You tell them…" she told him.

He took her hands in his, his left thumb running over the diamond of her engagement ring.

"I love you…" he told her.

"You told me that a million times tonight…" she said mildly exasperated.

"I know… I just feel like I need to keep telling you…" he told her, "You ready?"

She nodded.

He cautiously opened the front door, letting her step in ahead of him.

Fred, who'd arrived back from Texas in the early hours of the morning, and Cordy were sat nervously on the sofa. Despite it being virtually the pre-dawn hours, they were both dressed in smart business suits.

Wesley was there too, standing around tensely next to Angel who held Connor.

"We weren't sure you were coming back…" Wesley told them coldly.

"Of course we came back," Lindsey said brightly.

Instinctively, Angel walked towards Lilah and handed Connor to her. The baby smiled up at her and she smiled back at him. Cordy noted happily that Lindsey never took his eyes off her and seemed elusively comfortable with the situation.

"Good trip?" Lindsey asked turning to Fred.

"It was OK…" Fred said with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"Actually while everyone's here…" Lindsey said, moving so he stood next to Lilah putting his arm around her shoulders.

The slight almost invisible shake of Lilah's head indicated to Cordy that they weren't going to tell everyone about the baby. And for the most part Cordy was relieved.

"I don't quite know how to say this…" he began, "Taking a deep breath, "Lilah and I are getting married…"

A whole chorus of 'congratulations' broke out though Lilah couldn't help think it sounded a little forced. Fred and Cordy flew over to her enveloping her in gentle and on Fred's part, cautious hugs.

Wesley and Angel shook hands with Lindsey saying 'congratulations' again, parrot- fashion.

The girls and the guys swapped and Wesley pulled Lilah into a tentative close embrace, after Angel took Connor from her again.

"I was wrong about you," he whispered in her ear, so only she could hear it, " don't think you've got any meanness left inside you."

"Thankyou," she whispered back.

"So when's the big day?" Angel asked Lilah.

"We haven't really talked about it…" Lilah said looking in Lindsey's direction.

"Sooner rather than later…" he decided impulsively, "Maybe in a month or so…"

"Yeah, well it's getting late," Lilah said, "I should probably go change into something a little less… red."

"You need a hand picking out something to wear?" Cordy asked her.

*****

"What?" Lilah asked Cordy, when she returned to Lindsey's room, dressed in a grey Versace shirt.

Cordy was sprawled out on the bed looking up at her questioningly.

"What happened?" Cordy asked Lilah sceptically, "I mean less than twelve hours ago you thought you and Lindsey were splitting up and now you're what… marrying him?"

"I don't know…" Lilah said, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Cordy, feeling all the nervous energy drain out of her body, "It's just a security thing I guess. If we're married he can't just leave me can he? And when I'm with him… it's hard to explain… he makes me believe everything will be OK… It's only when I'm not with him I start panicking… I start to think maybe I don't trust him…"

"So what are you going to have a marriage based on? Isn't it supposed to be trust?"

"I don't know that either…"

"I don't think you've thought any of this through…" Cordy told her, "I'm only saying this because I care… because in two years time I don't want to see either of you all miserable and trapped. This is a long-term thing Lilah… more than long term… lifelong… I guess…"

"And I've just walked out of life tie number one… only to walk into two and three…"

"Still your choice…" Cordy reminded her. "I just don't think you've thought, I mean really thought about what a commitment you're going to have to make… not just to Lindsey but to yourself and this baby."

"I can't get rid of this baby…" Lilah trailed off, "It'll break Lindsey's heart."

"So you've thought about it then?"

"Not really…"

"You wouldn't have said it if you hadn't thought about it…"

Lilah was suddenly grateful for the intervention of the knock at the door. If she let herself think like that… she shivered slightly against the thought.

"Everything OK in there?" Lindsey asked through the door.

"Everything's fine…" Lilah said back a little too animatedly, "Come on in…"

He opened the door, stepping inside, clutched in his hand a brown paper bag.

"What's in the bag?" Cordy asked with mock cheerfulness.

"Breakfast," he said, handing the bag to Lilah, "They're plain bagels… I didn't know how you'd be feeling this morning…" his eyes spoke volumes above what his voice could, still believing Cordy knew nothing about the baby.

"I feel fine," she told him.

He sat down on the bed behind her, his arms around her waist automatically.

"You smell so good…" he said into her neck, completely oblivious to Cordelia's presence.

"OK… leaving now…" Cordy said heading for the door.

"Actually I'm right behind you…" Lilah said, "Much as I'd love to spend the entire day here with you, Lindsey I've got to read this case file through one more time to get my head round it…"

"Enjoy the bagels…" Cordy said, shutting the door behind Lilah…

*****

"Hey… we're doing OK…" Cordy said as she fell in step with Lindsey in the hallway of the court after the trial had been taken into recess for the morning break.

"Yeah, I guess we are…" Lindsey said, distractedly with a weak smile.

"Whoa don't sound too enthusiastic there…" she said before saying in his ear, "Mr. Soon to be Dad."

He looked at her a little bewildered.

"Congratulations," she told him, "You must be totally jazzed."

"Did Lilah tell you?" he asked her unnecessarily, "At least she trusts one of us…"

"Lindsey…" Cordy said, putting a hand on his arm, guiding him gently to one of the alcove branching off from the corridor, leading to a gothic style bay window seat, "She trusts you…"

"I just… I can't work her out… she's just so cold and distant… I feel completely out of the loop and she won't tell me what's wrong. I don't feel close to her anymore… I mean the only time I ever did was when we were sleeping together… and we're just not anymore…"

"Try and see this from her perspective." Cordy tried to mediate, "She pictured you two having this fantastic whirlwind romance where you partied all night and slept all day. Suddenly it's morning sickness and you're asking her to pick out colours for her bridesmaid's dresses and how many tiers the wedding cake should have… she feels trapped, Lindsey."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Because she thinks she can't… don't walk into another trap, Lindsey. Don't let Lilah do it either. Don't you think after everything you've both been through you deserve a little freedom?"

*****

"Hey, I was looking for you…" Lindsey said finally locating Lilah sat outside on one of the wooden benches in the quadrant of the courthouse.

"Are you OK?" he asked, sitting down, suddenly afraid to touch her, "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine. Good even… for the first time in weeks…"

"That's great… you're doing fantastically so far in there…"

"All I've done is read an opening statement word for word from a piece of paper… it's hardly a rocket science."

"You didn't crack under the pressure though, all I wanted to do was rip Gavin's eyes out of their sockets."

"Self-restraint is a wonderful thing."

Lindsey looked around momentarily for hidden Wolfram and Hart spies before taking her hand briefly in his. He felt for the ring on her finger but realised it wasn't there.

"Where's the ring?" he asked her.

"Here…" she said, pulling out the ring on a chain around her neck from beneath her white, ribbed turtleneck. "I didn't want Gavin or any of his flunkies to have anything they could possibly use against us."

"I know… what are you doing out here anyway? Getting some fresh air? It's kinda hot in there… it's like they've never heard of air conditioning…"

She smiled at him.

"No I just called my sister actually… I haven't phoned her in six months or so. I spoke to my four-year-old nephew… I haven't seen him in three years… she hasn't let him forget me though…"

"Do you want to go visit them this weekend?" he asked her impulsively, "I could go with you… or drive you up there and drop you off or whatever…"

"Yeah… that sounds like fun…" she told him.

"Are you going to tell her? About the baby? About us? Or will that make it seem too real? Too much like we're trapped?"

"I don't feel trapped…"

"Really…"

"OK… maybe a little…"

"Me too." He turned so his body was fully facing her. "It wasn't supposed to be this way… I only came back to see if you were still here. And when you were… it was only supposed to be for ten minutes. I was going to drive east and see every state in America. End up in Florida working at Disneyworld or something. But once I'd seen you… once I'd gotten to know the beautiful, smart and sweet person underneath… it made me stay. But I guess you can't drive east with a baby."

"We have a choice…" she told him tentatively.

"I still want this baby," he told her quickly, "I still want you. Sure maybe things haven't turned out the way we thought they might. But I love you. Have you changed your mind?"

"No," she told him.

"So you still want to get married?"

"Yes."

"And you still want our baby?"

"Yes."

"God, this whole 'let's pretend we're just friends in front of Gavin,' thing is killing me."

"I know."

"I hate not being able to touch you."

"So do I."

"How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"Anything I can do?"

"Stop asking me pointless questions…" she told him lifelessly, "and maybe you've done enough…" her face crumbled and she took hold of his hand. "I'm sorry… it's nothing an early night won't fix."

"I'm tired too… but I only feel safe when you're sleeping next to me…"

"Me too…"

There was an comfortless silence that lasted a long time as they both stared down at the grass at their feet, snared deep within their own thoughts, metaphorically miles away from each other…