Southern Comfort (10/?)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- none

Distribution- FF.net, AOH anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- R

Summary- Lilah gets insomnia… she's forced to hold a conversation with Angel

Disclaimer- not mine… yadda, yadda

Lilah waited until Lindsey was sleeping soundly to leave.

She moved away from him, shivering as the cool air brushed against her heated skin.

Watching him stir slightly in his sleep she was glad he hadn't awakened. The early hours of the morning were no time to ask questions that needed asking and answer questions that needed answering.

The day had been confusing. The last few hours had been no exception. Her mind, for all its elusiveness had continued to churn out intensely perplexing images and emotions.

Not that she expected sleeping with Lindsey would clarify anything. Her memory had stored away every second. The way he'd kissed her when he'd seen doubt flash through her eyes.

She knew she didn't regret it. He hadn't been rough with her and it had surprised her. It wasn't something she was used to. His gentle side.

A subconscious voice rooted deep in her psyche told her maybe he wished that he'd been with a million different women tonight. Cordy, Darla… Maybe Gavin was right…

That thought caused her to stand to try and escape it causing the cut on her head to ache. Her hand flew to the source of the pain as she crossed the short distance to the wardrobe, pulling Lindsey's blue fleece from the coat hanger and over her head. It fell almost to her knees, the material soft against her skin, Lindsey's scent surrounding her.

She knew the next morning, stained in Lindsey's aroma she'd have to avoid Angel and Lorne. Them knowing she and Lindsey had been together would heighten their inherent mistrust of her.

Here, in the hotel, they all could surround her and she still felt completely isolated. She could practically feel their apprehension towards her flow from them in waves when they showed nothing but warmth for Lindsey.

She stepped outside into the brightly-lit hallway, shutting the door behind her, closing off the darkness.

He'd told her he'd loved her afterwards. Had it been just because he felt he had to or had he really meant it?

She crept down the three flights of wooden stairs as silently as she could, bound for the kitchen to get an ice pack and some aspirin to stop the ache at her right temple- a constant reminder of who she really was.

She hadn't decided on what she'd do afterwards. The ice might stop the swelling, change the blue of the bruise to a dull crimson and the painkillers stop the cut pulsing but they wouldn't silence the haunting doubts of her conscience.

She only knew of two ways to stop it. One of which was sleep. She would go back to bed, wrap herself in Lindsey's arms and pretend it was her and not Darla he wanted to be with. She knew if she went back now he's use her every night until someone better came along.

The second way was drink. She'd sneak out to some all night bar in Beverly Hills and drink scotch until the sun rose high in the sky…

"Lilah." Angel's flat, neutral voice snapped her out of her own thoughts as she reached the hotel lobby. Still dressed in his leather duster he held Connor in his arms.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were up," she said self consciously, "I'll just grab some ice and some aspirin then I'll be out of your way."

Connor gave a yell as Angel rocked him softly. The pitch of his shriek sent another shock wave of pain to Lilah's head making her wince slightly.

"He's due for a feed," Angel told her, "Can you give me a hand? I wouldn't ask except Lorne's already gone home."

"OK," Lilah said, giving him a weak smile surprised at how nice he was being.

She followed him through to the kitchen in silence and flipped the light switch on behind him.

"Can you take him for a while I make up his bottle?" Angel asked her.

"No I'll make it… I'm really no good with kids…"

"You'll be fine with him…"

"I know I'll drop him or something… just tell me what I'm supposed to be doing…"

Angel sighed and sat down with Connor on one of the four chairs surrounding the kitchen table. He instructed Lilah on how to make up Connor's baby milk before telling her to put it in the microwave for three minutes. This was going to be the hard part… holding an actual conversation with her whilst the milk warmed.

She sat down on a chair, missing out one between her and Angel.

"You look tired," he observed saying anything to keep a flow of communication.

"I can't sleep…" she confessed.

"You went to bed before I went out at ten what have you…" Angel trailed off when he saw the look on her face.

"I'm sleeping weird anyway…" she said blushing for the first time in the last decade.

"The sedative still affecting you?" he asked.

She nodded.

"If it is you should really see a doctor," he advised.

"That would involve having actual money," she told him, seeing a look of confusion cross his face. "Wolfram and Hart cleaned out my bank accounts… all of them…" she found herself confessing awkwardly.

"You should have said something," he told her.

"Why bother you guys with it?" she asked him.

He sighed.

"Take the day off tomorrow," he told her, "go shopping with Cordy or something…"

"Shopping would entail actual money," she told him, "and Cordy hates me… that was a good plan,"

"So what's your plan? Lock yourself in Wes' office all day?" he asked her.

The harsh beep of the microwave interrupted his line of questioning.

She got up to take the milk out of the microwave and handed the bottle to him.

"Pretty much," she told him, "Soon I'll look as pale and as tired as you…" she took a deep breath before saying, "Let me take Connor for the rest of the night… go and get some rest."

"I see this working wonders when you won't even hold him…"

"You got a car seat?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Well let me take him in that."

He stood up, and closed the door slightly to reveal a car seat and lay Connor in it.

Cautiously he handed the seat to Lilah by its plastic handle.

"Call me…" he told her, "If he needs anything."

"I will…" she started to walk off with Connor to the lobby.

"Lilah?" Angel called.

"Yeah?" she said turning back to him.

"Thanks…"

"No problem…"

She set Connor down on the floor next to the sofa. Seeing he was sleeping softly she settled her herself down on the sofa, stretching out and turning her face away from Connor and another LA sunrise from the lobby window…