Owing (7/7)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- Blind Date

Distribution- FF.net, AOH, watcherscouncil.com and Neurotica… anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- NC-17

Summary- Lilah and Lindsey take the next step

Disclaimer- they belong to the almighty Joss… I am but a child in his candy store

Notes- many, many hugs and kisses to Seersha, Minim Calibre for the 'americanising,' and Roseveare for teaching me to write in coherent sentences :)

Lilah closed her eyes, still smiling, tucked up against Lindsey's chest feeling completely safe, warm and relaxed. Since when had sex been about more than getting off? Had it ever been just that with him? Lilah inferred it hadn't, thinking back. Even the first time it had been more than just about pleasure.

She felt him brush her hair behind her ear and heard him ask softly, "What are you thinking about?"

"Us." Her voice came out slow and calm. "How good sex feels with you."

"There's a surprise," he teased. "It is pretty amazing."

"No-one has ever made me feel like you do."

"Same. When I'm with you- I actually can't get close enough. I almost feel like I want to disappear inside," he admitted, kissing her hair.

She looked up at him and let him kiss her again, forehead, nose and finally once across her lips. She melted into him a little bit more, that familiar 'Friday night, post-sex' feeling diffusing through her.

"Do you realise we've been together six months tomorrow?" he asked.

"No, I didn't know. Are you gonna get all soppy on me? Because feel free to buy me jewellery. I saw this gorgeous necklace at Tiffany's the other day. One diamond, eight pointed star, silver."

"Well, you could cook me dinner."

She hit him in the arm, not entirely playfully. "I don't cook. I use my oven for storage."

He kissed her again, a good kiss, long, slow and lazy. "We've come a long way," he pointed out.

"That we have." She hitched herself up so she was more on his level, smoothing down the front of the black, silky lingerie dress he'd bought her a few weeks ago.

"Lilah?" His face was suddenly serious, eyes searching hers.

"What?" she asked with a tense smile, stomach clenching.

"Can we talk?" He sat on the edge of the bed, freeing himself of her arms.

"Lindsey, you're scaring me."

"Don't be scared," he told her, putting on clean underwear from the drawer on his side of the bed, "Actually, I've kind of got a proposition for you."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow questioningly.

"We've been together a while now, and I think we've established we kind of like each other. I haven't slept in my own bed in six months. My lease is up in a few days, so-"

"You want to move in with me?"

"I don't really see it as a huge deal. You slash your rent in half, all your bills too. Plus, it makes more sense for me to move in here. It's nicer, bigger, and most of my stuff is here anyway."

Lilah turned away from him, lying on her side. "Wow, you've really got this all figured out."

"Lilah." He followed her, kissing her shoulder, feeling her muscles tense under his touch.

"What?" she snapped.

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"I don't understand why you have such a problem with this."

"Because this apartment is mine. And we'd have to draw up papers, and what about bills? And cooking? And cleaning?"

"Lilah, stop."

"No. Now you want to move in, but how long before that's not enough for you? Before you want more? Marriage. Kids. Living in the suburbs with vacation houses in the Florida Keys and the Hamptons?"

"That actually just sounded fantastic." He smiled.

"See." She sighed, frustrated. "I don't want any of that stuff. I just want my apartment and Chanel stuff."

"Lilah." He tried to pacify her by putting his arm around her, but she only slapped him away.

"Do you want to get married?" she challenged.

"Eventually- yes. In a few years."

"I swore I never would."

"Fine." He sighed. "But you have to stop acting like a spoiled brat someday."

She turned to him. He'd never seen her eyes so cold and full of contempt. "Get out."

He didn't question her, simply picked up his clothes and slunk away, rejected.

*****

The sun was rising and Lindsey still hadn't come back. It was the longest they'd been apart since they'd been together and Lilah could barely believe the effect it was having on her. She hadn't slept; had curled up on the sofa in a Kermit the Frog tank top she hadn't seen since the eighties and lime green bikini bottoms. It was so unlike her, but then crying was hardly her style either.

There was a knock at the door. Lilah felt her stomach clench in anticipation as she leapt up to answer.

Lindsey stood there holding a large paper bag. On seeing how upset she was, he embraced her tightly.

"Hey," he whispered, rubbing her back soothingly with one hand. "Come on. It's OK." He led her to the kitchen and sat her down on a chair, pulling a second chair closer for himself.

"I'm sorry." She choked back a sob, and wiped her eyes, embarrassed.

"Me too. I'm sorry, too. It's our anniversary." He reached into the bag to produce each item, "So obviously I have to spoil you. Chocolates- Belgian. Roses. A card. That necklace you wanted. But most importantly my deposit receipt- rent paid up for the next year on my apartment. Lilah-" he paused, taking her hand "-I love you. And if you're not ready to move in together, or if you never want to, then that's fine."

Lilah calmly took the piece of paper from his hands and tore it into four neat quarters, everything suddenly very clear.

"Lindsey," she leant forward, putting her hand on his knee, "Will you move in with me?"

He looked at her a moment, his thumb tracing over her lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. The last few hours have been hell. I don't want to be apart. Like you said, half your stuff is here anyway. I might as well start charging you rent."

"Are you sure?" he repeated.

"Yes, dammit, I'm sure."

"What about everything you said before? Bills, rent…"

"We'll figure it out. Split rent fifty/fifty, get a joint account for bills, draw up a contract- romantic." She smiled at him shyly.

"OK, last time I'll ask- you're sure?"

"Yes. Stop it."

He leant forward and kissed her on the forehead. "You slept yet?"

"Not exactly. We could just go lie together in *our* bed."

She gave him another smile, offering her hand to lead him up the stairs. They lay down on top of the comforter, side by side.

"Lilah?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want to get a cat? Or a dog?"

She shot him a skeptical look.

"One step at a time. Cats have claws that don't mix with my hardwood floor. And you have to walk a dog."

"Compromise? Sea monkeys?"

"Sea monkeys I can deal with." She edged forward, caressing his face. "Just promise we'll take things slow. I'm not saying 'no, not ever' to stuff beyond moving in. But I'm looking before I'm leaping. I need to be sure. So if we go slow…"

"Just let me know, OK?"

"We'll both know when we're ready for more sharing. Commitment."

"The 'C' word? Already?" he teased. "I promise, in that context, never to hurt you, never to give you any reason to distrust me, and to take things as slowly as you need."

She smiled again. "Thank you. And I promise to… I don't know, I'm no good at this." She blushed, a slight twist of her hips indicating her defensiveness. He put his hand on her stomach reassuringly.

"So- when do you want me to move in?" he asked.

"Today?" she put forward uncertainly. "Too soon?"

"No- today's perfect."

"You go and get your stuff. And I'll draw up a contract and get a joint account- online banking?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you think. Online banking is fine by me. And Lilah?"

"Yes?"

"Where exactly did you get these panties?" He tugged a little at the waistband.

"The eighties. Luminous green- not exactly sexy. I see that now."

"Everyone wore bright stuff in the eighties."

"Did you?" Lilah asked, climbing on top of him. He pulled them up to a half sitting position, beginning to touch her through her panties.

"Maybe."

"Will you show me?"

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." He slid his hands down and inside the panties, untying the strings as he went and pulling them away from her body, sliding two fingers inside her.

"Mmmm…" she moaned against him.

"I never knew Kermit could look sexy on anyone," he said, continuing his gentle touching, hitting all the right spots.

"Oh God, oh God…"

"Lilah, look at me. I want you to look at me when you come."

He put his hand on the back of her neck, looking into her eyes as she crashed over the edge, moaning his name. She collapsed against his chest, heart beating rapidly, gasping for breath. He cradled her against him, running fingers through her hair.

After she'd recovered she asked, "Need me to return the favour?"

"No. Keep it like this. This way neither of us owe."

She nodded, understanding, lay her head against his chest, and listened to his heartbeat.

*****

"This is the last one," Lindsey said, setting down the cardboard box he was carrying. He closed the door behind him, smiling. He was home. His and Lilah's home.

The object of his thoughts was rifling through a box marked 'DVDs,' wearing one of his shirts.

"I see we're already sharing," he said with a grin. Lilah looked up at him and returned the smile.

"Your DVD collection needs a serious clear out. 'South Pacific?'"

"You'll love it."

"You know what else I love?" She walked over to him, weaving her arms around his neck, looking directly into his eyes. "You. But love is so crap and commercialised and said without meaning it, you won't hear me say it very often. But I do. Love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her, lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, and carried her towards the stairs.

"Lilah," he said breaking the kiss, "I should run to the grocery store. We ran out of…"

"Shhh…" she silenced him, "Let's not, from now on. I went on the pill a few months back, remember?"

"Are you sure? Because we can wait-"

"No. No waiting. It's time for the next step."

"I'm nervous," he admitted, burying his face in her neck.

"There's no need to be- it's just me."

"Promise we'll take things slow?"

"I promise."

*****

Lilah was just drifting off, curled up in bed, having been talking to Lindsey for the past three hours.

"Lilah?" Lindsey asked, having thought of another conversation topic that wasn't, 'Who's your favourite Simpsons character?' or 'Republicans or Democrats?'

Her reply was a slightly annoyed, drowsy, "hmmm?"

"You know we have a month's vacation in the summer…"

She flipped over realising this wouldn't be a short exchange. "Yeah."

"Do you want to go away somewhere? With the money we save on rent? It doesn't have to be for the whole month. You choose where, and I'll make up the difference."

"Why not?"

He smiled, visibly relieved. "Any ideas on location?"

"I was thinking Vietnam. The yellow fever swamp district. Or Outer Mongolia."

Lindsey paled visibly.

"I'm kidding," she reassured, squeezing his hand.

"Good."

"Serious ideas. Swimming with dolphins in Mexico. The Venice opera. Ayers rock. Floating markets of Thailand. Any preference?"

"The dolphins."

"You like dolphins?"

"Love them. And then Paris- in the Spring. Valentine's Day."

"Softy," she teased.

"So, do you want to go for a month?"

"A fortnight, ten days. You can say no to this if you want to." The slight pressure of her fingernails on his shoulder indicated her nervousness. He kissed her hair.

"What?"

"I have to go visit my family in the Summer-"

"I'd love to go with you- that's what you were gonna ask, right?"

"Yes." Lilah told him.

"I'd offer to take you to meet mine, but-"

"But what?"

"Piped water is rare, they get electricity about three hours a day and- it's just not very you."

"Lindsey." She squeezed him tighter. "It's you. It's your roots and I'll adapt. You're willing to put up with my family. Two kids and a yappy Afghan thing- and that's the husband, not the dog." she joked.

"I'll call them tomorrow."

"And say what?"

"'I'm bringing the woman I love to meet you.'" He smiled down at her. "That OK?"