Owing (2/7)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- Blind Date

Distribution- FF.net, AOH, watcherscouncil.com and Neurotica… anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- NC-17

Summary- Lilah wakes up in Lindsey's bed

Disclaimer- they belong to the almighty Joss… I am but a child in his candy store

Notes- many, many hugs and kisses to Seersha, Minim Calibre for the 'americanising,' and Roseveare for teaching me to write in coherent sentences :)

Lilah awoke with a start, hours later, again displaced. The jump of her body in Lindsey's arms caused him to awaken and ask her sleepily, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just having an 'oh fuck what have I done?' moment."

"Lot of that going around."

"What time is it?" she asked, too warm and comfortable to move from his embrace despite her misgivings.

"Six thirty," he told her, twisting slightly to look at the clock on his nightstand.

"Shit, I'm gonna be late." She moved to get out of his bed.

"Stay." He pulled her back into his arms.

"I can't."

"Stay in someone else's bed?"

She shot him a look indicating she wasn't used to anyone's bed but her own, at least not in the context of staying the night afterwards.

"I meant this."

"Us."

"There is no us. I needed someone, anyone. You just happened to be there. End of story."

"Stay," he repeated.

"I need to go home. Get in the shower. Burn my clothes."

"I like you best without clothes," he said in her ear, earning him a half smile. "Stay. Take the day off. Use my shower, and then if you still want to go home, fine. Great."

She looked at him for a moment before saying, "OK. But I bet your shower is all cockroach infested."

"All up to code. But I do foresee a hitch."

She rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"You don't look like you need a shower to me and with Los Angeles' general water shortage… maybe I should dirty you up first?"

His hand had snaked lower and she felt her body respond to his touch instantly.

"You’d better have a good disinfectant," she teased.

*****

Lilah unlocked her apartment door, Lindsey following somewhere behind. She'd left her copy of the Times on the doorstep. She turned around to retrieve it but found Lindsey already holding the newspaper.

She froze, unnerved at how domestic the scene in front of her was.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"No, what?" He followed her inside, closing the door behind him, setting down the newspaper on the hallway table.

"It's nothing," she said, wearily dropping onto her sofa.

"I'll call a taxi," he said, "Give you some space."

His answer came when she smacked her hand down angrily on the arm of the sofa, rage visible on her face.

"What the fuck is this?" she challenged.

"What the fuck is what?"

"There can't be an 'us' unless we want to end up the same way as Lee," she said, shifting over so he could sit beside her, "It can’t happen again. Only once."

"Technically three times."

"Only three times then," she sniped sarcastically.

He grinned at her.

"What?" she asked, agitated.

He didn't reply, just continued to smile smugly.

"What?"

"I love winding you up."

"Great. Glad I'm such a constant source of amusement." She turned away and he sidled closer, putting his hands on her shoulders, beginning to return the favour from the previous night.

"What are you doing?"

"God, you're so tense."

"Are you surprised? The people we work for are murderers, Lindsey, and I'm lying to them so I can take the day off with you. If they found out…" she trailed off, lost in the sensation of his hands working on her shoulders.

"I liked it," he told her, softly.

"Shit, this is just twisted. I'm wearing your shirt, you're bringing my newspaper in, you're rubbing my shoulders…"

"Did you like it too?"

"What?"

"The sex."

"Yes," she answered, tipping her head back to look at him.

He leant down to kiss her briefly on the lips. She didn't object.

"I think I owe you one orgasm," he said.

"You don't owe me anything," she said, sitting upright again.

"I owe you. You were the first woman to stay the night in my bed. I tend to attract the 'screw and run,' types. Or at least the ones that kick me out of their apartments afterwards."

"So technically I owe you."

"You owe me nothing."

"Come and stay in my bed?" she asked impulsively, getting up of the sofa, and offering him her hand.

"What are we doing?" he asked, accepting.

"Calling in a favour," she answered, pulling him to his feet.

"Which of us?"

"Both. Neither. I've lost count."

"Does that mean neither of us owe?" he asked, jerking her towards him, his hand on her hip.

"Neither of us owe," she said. "And I guess it's only fair that since we tried out your mattress we should try out mine."

*****

The first thought Lilah had when she awakened mid afternoon with Lindsey resting his head against her shoulder wasn't, 'This feels OK,' it wasn't even, 'This feels good.' It was 'This feels natural,' scaring her slightly.

He snuggled into her closer, kissing her shoulder. The covers pooled around her waist and for once in her life she didn't feel image conscious, she didn't care. Tugging her closer, he brushed his hand against her side, causing her to squirm.

"That tickles."

"It was supposed to."

She turned over and without thinking cuddled into him. Lilah found the concept ludicrous of how they could've fucked- four times now? And not really been intimate in the sense of being close without it being about sex. But then she reminded herself at least three of those times hadn't counted because that hadn't been fucking that had been… something else. Something neither of them had quite experienced before. Soft and gentle, kissing stilling sometimes to just look and touch and feel. Even when Lilah had gotten scared and tried to roughen things up, to bite or to nip, Lindsey had calmed her with a stroke of her hair or a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Tangled up in memories, suddenly Lilah's mind snapped like a steel trap, past doubts returning. She sat up suddenly, self-consciously pulling the sheets around herself and perching tensely on the edge of her bed.

"What's wrong?" Lindsey asked, gently touching her back.

"It's nothing," she said, too brightly, shrugging him off, "I just need a shower."

"I like the way you smell after sex."

"With you all over me… inside me," she snapped.

He moved a little closer, causing her to pull the covers tighter around herself, "It was nice. It gets nicer every time. That last time…" he trailed off.

"Can you shut your eyes while I get a robe?"

"OK." He knew better than to argue with her.

She dumped the covers roughly on him and on locating clothes said, "Go back to sleep."

"Can't I come with you?" he asked, playfully.

"You've already done that today." She slammed the door roughly behind her.

*****

Lilah reappeared half an hour later- and was annoyed to find Lindsey was still sleeping soundly in her bed.

She plugged in her hairdryer, causing him to awaken and move closer when she sat at the foot of the bed to dry her hair.

"Can I?" he asked, gently taking her hairdryer from her. Without waiting for an answer he started to dry off her hair, awkwardly at first and then more expertly until her hair fell in sleek waves to just below her shoulders.

When he flicked the hairdryer off she chose her moment to say, "This has to stop. I've been thinking and… we have to stop before someone gets hurt. Before there are feelings."

"What if there's already feelings?" he asked softly.

"Then feelings have to stop too."

"Why? You like the sex, I like the sex…"

"The firm."

"Fuck the firm."

"Working together, sleeping together… plus this isn't a relationship. It's just fucking."

"Oh yeah, and you've never done that before?"

"It'll get too weird."

"It already is weird," he pointed out, "Being with you."

"Oh great. Thanks. That's so charming."

"I never thought I'd have a shot with someone like you," he sniped heatedly, getting out of her bed and dressing quickly.

"Lindsey," she caught his wrist as he walked past her. He froze. "Let's just have some time, some space apart… to think. Tomorrow, Friday, the weekend."

"I have that time off work."

"I know. What are you going to do?"

"Go home. Get in the shower."

"I owe you one shower, here. Just not today, OK?"

He nodded and kissed her gently, smiling softly, brushing her hair behind her ear. Then with a whispered "Thank you" he was gone.