Heat of the moment (17/19)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- none

Distribution- FF.net, AOH, buffysearch.net and Neurotica… anyone else just ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- R

Summary- Lindsey and Lilah make up and cease to snatch an opportunity

Disclaimer- they belong to the almighty Joss… I am but a child in his candy store

Dedication- To Bobbi who is one in a million

"Hey," Lindsey said poking his head around Lilah's bedroom door. It had become 'Lilah's bedroom' when they'd returned from Nevada and mutually yet conveniently agreed, amongst the crying into each other, hand holding and soul searching, sleeping together was not going to aid the situation and to take separate rooms at night. And the sleeping in separate rooms had lasted almost a week now. Not that they slept for long, they'd stayed up most nights either talking or comforting each other. Another sympathetic gesture. Something they were both beyond now. Now they both needed something more.

"Hi," she said, sat at her vanity brushing her slightly damp shower- hair, shivering partly from the cold, partly from Lindsey's presence.

"I was just going to bed- I need an early night with us going back to work tomorrow. Can I get you anything?"

She shook her head raising her eyes to his in the mirror.

"We haven't touched since Nevada," she pointed out curtly, still hurting inside.

He paused for a moment before saying,

"I know. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to."

"Of course I wanted you too. Shit, Lindsey all I've needed in the past couple of days is you to hug me or kiss me and make me feel a little less like a monster. But you just… wouldn't."

"I couldn't, Lilah," he said quietly, "You almost died. I wasn't here and it was my fault."

"Let's not," she said, standing and turning to him, "Before we get into 'two to tango' and blaming each other and all that crap."

"I'm sorry," he said, holding her tentatively, hands lacing in her hair.

"Now will you just come to bed? Please?" She asked, eyes apologising.

"Of course," he told her, pulling her close for a short comforting hug before half dragging her into bed.

They lay down side by side in the silence for a moment before Lindsey reached out to touch Lilah's face.

"I love you," he told her, with a kiss healing, and intensifying in passion before he looked into her eyes loving and questioningly. Her eyes answered his questions, sparkling, lustrous in the soft light.

It was uncomfortable at first. Being able to touch each other again, but they soon fell back into long established routines, knowing what the other liked. Only somehow this time it was different. Every sensation, movement, caress and kiss seamed to mean more, was slower, feather light yet incredibly intense, so their love making lasted all night, melting them both completely.

When the sun rose and they fell into each other's close, exhausted embrace, Lilah said,

"We should've gotten an early night. We have to be at work in four hours."

"You stay here. Get some rest. I'll call you mid morning to wake you." He offered.

"Lindsey don't treat me like an invalid. I'm still me, I'm not helpless."

"I know. Shouldn't we get some sleep?"

"That's be nice," she said, snuggling up to him, his skin warm causing her to shiver a little.

"You cold?" He asked, "Need more blanket?"

"No, I'm fine. I have a Lindsey's arms blanket." She pointed out, pulling him closer, if it were at all possible.

"And I have a Lilah blanket- the best kind," he said before they both dozed off happily to sleep.

*****

"I'm really sorry about your mum," Mark said eventually, looking up from his desk at Lilah.

"Thanks," she said simply, giving him a weak smile.

"Something to cheer you up. The firm wants to send us to London for a four-day conference the day after tomorrow. Could be fun."

"Us? As in the two of us?"

"No, apparently there's this new guy in Accounts, Lindsey McDonald. You come across him yet?"

"No- I can't say I have," she said brittle, long practised smile in place, tingles of familiar suspicion racing underneath her skin.

*****

Lilah had called Lindsey whilst Mark was on a coffee break and arranged to meet him back at her car for lunch.

He was there before she was having got caught in the lunchtime rush at 'Pret a manger.'

He smiled, watching her walk across the underground lot, lacing his arms around her waist, kissing into her neck as she unlocked the door of the car and pulled him into the back seat.

"I love you. Not only are you beautiful, you also brought lunch," he said as she handed him chicken salad sandwiches, a lemon cheesecake for herself and a bottle of Perrier for them to share. "But that's all you're having? It's barely enough to keep a mouse alive."

"I'm counting my calories, besides, I need the sugar after the morning I've had."

"You know about this London thing I take it."

"Great, Four days in rains-ville pretending I don't know you. It's gonna be hell."

"It doesn't have to be. Maybe we could go public- pretend we got it together at the conference."

"And then I suppose you moved in right after?" She asked, sarcastically.

"OK, there's no need to take it out on me." He pointed out, "I'm not the one saying we need to sneak around all the time."

"We're not 'sneaking around,' Linds. Our business and private lives are barely connected."

"Yeah, until now the bubble bursts."

They both fell silent before Lindsey added genuinely,

"I don't think I'll stand being around you, smelling the way you do and not being able to touch you." He shifted closer and laced an arm around her shoulders. "And missing all the things you do. Like when you write me notes on the mirror when I'm in the shower. And the way you kiss me before I even open my eyes. And in the middle of the night when we cuddle really close."

"I'm gonna miss you too. The way you cook for me every day. And even when I'm being a total bitch, moody and yelling at you, you always hug me and tell me 'It's OK.' And I like when you kiss me for no reason, 'Just because…' And when I'm cold in bed, you let me wear your nicest Dolce fleece. You tolerate all the crap I watch on TV. You know how to iron a shirt and you iron my clothes too without me having to ask. You don't make me feel bad even though I'm horribly flawed. Wow, you made me all gushy. I guess there are a lot more nice things about you than there are about me."

"No. OK, more 'I love Lilah and why' stuff. You let me feel again. You make me experience wholeness. Because of you I actually like the X-Files. You encourage me, you support me. You're actually sweet… but I won’t tell anyone. I love being with you, Lilah."

"You know maybe it won't be so bad in London. Maybe we'll get some free time to go sight seeing together. You can sneak into my room at night. There's no way I'll sleep without you anyway." She said, smiling weakly, still wanting to keep Lindsey a secret. She liked it this way- having something that was only hers and Lindsey's, knowledge not belonging to anyone else.

"Yeah, it'll be fun. Our first time overseas together." He said, pulling her closer, "Maybe our baby will be conceived there."

"Lindsey," she said, taking his hand in hers, "It takes most couples months, years even."

"I know it might take some time. In a way that's good because we can make plans."

"Make plans?"

"Yeah, like this week it’s go to London, eat and drink contents of mini bar and charge to company. But next week it might be paint spare room ready to become a nursery. Buy small, white, fluffy kitten and name Charlize."

"I don't think so. *If* we ever get a cat he'll be named Elijah."

He smiled at her,

"You’re really something you know that?"

"So I'm told."

"Lilah?"

"Yes."

"Can you eat half a sandwich at your desk."

"Yeah- why?"

"Do we have to time to do some stuff that we can only do when we're together?"

"I've always got time for you honey," she said, undoing his tie, "Always."