Flesh and Blood (14/25)

Author- Midnight Faith

Pairing- Lindsey/Lilah with Cordy/Angel on the side…

Spoilers- none

Distribution- ff.net, Ace of Harts, Neurotica… anyone else just ask :)

Rating- R

Summary- Lilah and Lindsey reach a settlement

Notes-' Part 3/3 of a trilogy. Which also contains 'Southern Comfort' and 'Silver Cloud, Bitter Lining.'

"How is she?" Wesley asked Cordelia, catching up with her in the hospital corridor.

"What are you doing here?" Cordy asked him, pausing at the door of the infant care ward, "Sorry… it's been a long night. Hannah's on a saline drip, still running a fever but she's stabilised. In other words she's not getting any worse… but she's not getting better either. They're still running tests…"

"How's Lilah?"

"How do you think she is? Her and Lindsey are absolutely beside themselves… They've got into the vein of thinking this might be something mystical… sent by the good people of Wolfram and Hart…"

"Let's not jump to conclusions… it could be many ordinary, childhood illnesses. An ear infection for example could cause a fever… no need to worry unduly."

"Well Lilah won't leave Hannah… not for a second. Not to get a coffee or fresh air or anything…"

The door to the ward swung open and Lindsey stepped out looking concerned.

"How is she?" Cordy asked, touching his arm in comfort, her voice full of anxiety.

"All the tests came back negative…" Lindsey told them.

"That's good though right?" Cordy asked him.

"Well they still don't know what's making her sick but they checked for all the life threatening stuff… so it's not pneumonia or anything…"

"What about Lilah?" Wesley asked him, "She can't just sit there with her for hours at a time…"

"Well I can't get her to move… so I stepped out to grab her a coffee…"

"Will you let me try?" Wesley asked him.

"Be my guest…"

Lindsey and Cordelia watched as Wesley made a beeline for Hannah's plastic incubated crib. He touched Lilah on the shoulder, before she stood up to hug him.

"She won't even touch me…" Lindsey said turning away from the glass panelled door.

"Well have you tried?" Cordy asked him, "Have you hugged her or even just held her hand?"

"I can't…"

"Why not…"

"Because it might mean more than just comfort… it might say something stupid like 'I still love you.'"

"Do you?"

"Do you even need me to answer?"

*****

"This is probably the last thing you want to hear right now…"

"So don't tell me…" Lilah asked Wesley, falling back into her plastic chair.

"I have to but… I haven't told the others yet…" Wesley said, sitting down beside her, "Wolfram and Hart delivered a court order to the hotel tonight. For custody of Hannah. It states Linwood, of all people is her biological father…"

"They could've at least chosen someone half believable… less boss/employee cliched… but you wanted to know if it was true…"

"The thought hadn't even…"

"There's no way," she cut him off, "There's no way anyone but Lindsey could be her father… just look at her. Look at her eyes… they're Lindsey's…"

"Did you ever… with Linwood?"

"I never slept with him… if that's what you're asking. I might have done him some after hours, inverted commas 'favours,' which mainly involve me on my knees of his office floor after a bad case, to buy his silence to the senior partners. You can't possibly understand what that place is… and now the powers are punishing me for being an evil, psycho bitch…"

"What?"

"Karmatically… Hannah's sick, I've lost Lindsey… what next?"

"The powers are not punishing you… you have to understand that… don't even think it. We can't lose you to this… to them. And that kind of thinking… it's letting them win. Come on… let me buy you a coffee and walk you around the block…"

"OK…" she nodded weakly, letting Wesley guide her out of the ward and into the corridor.

"I owe you something horribly caffeinated… and possibly sugary," Cordy told Lilah, "Lindsey? You coming?"

"No… I'll stay for a minute… until you guys get back…"

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Cordy asked.

"No… you guys go ahead…"

"You sure?" Lilah asked him.

"Yeah," he told her, reaching out for her hand, "I'm sure."

He briefly brushed his fingertips with Lilah's before Wesley and Cordy; each with an arm around her began to lead her gently down the corridor and away from him…

*****

"Hey," Lilah said, sitting down beside Lindsey on the bench outside the emergency room.

"Hey," he repeated.

"Acute bronchitis," she told him, "They're loading her up with antibiotics… we should have her home in two days… I just thought I should come out and find you to tell you…"

"But where's home?"

"Cordy told you about this apartment right?"

"Yeah…"

"And…"

"She said I could only move in if you were OK with it…"

"I am…"

"What? No list of 'conditions' or things I am and aren't allowed to do?"

"No… there aren't going to be any 'conditions.' We'll be living on different floors anyway… we'll probably never see each other… apart from Hannah stuff because I know she needs you… we could take turns in watching her for the night so we don't get completely burned out… anyway… we'll figure it out. Here…" she said handing him Wesley's black suit jacket, "I thought since you've been out here a while you might be cold…"

"Since when did your compassion chromosome kick in?" he asked her a little vapidly.

"Since… Hannah." She told him, "I think the biggest reason I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant to start with was… I was having all these feelings. And you know me… I don't do feelings… not well anyway. Not compassion, or trust or god forbid love even. And I knew… there was this baby inside me… who was affecting everything. The way I felt about things… about people even. I began to trust them… to love them. I thought maybe it'd go away after she was born, I thought it was her soul and not mine generating these emotions. After years of suppression I thought my soul was gone… but tonight of all nights I find it hasn't. I could've lost Hannah tonight. I've never felt fear like that before…"

"Wow… the ice bitch has a heart after all…"

"You think I'm a bitch?"

"No," he told her, wrapping Wesley's jacket around her shoulders, "I'm sleep deprived."

"Me too…"

"So that's the explanation for your new found niceness?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being all… competitive."

"What? That's the way it is with us… and I'm only teasing… I just like you."

"You like me?"

"I've always liked you… I liked before how you were so confident… independent and determined and yet… you never used to shut me out completely."

"And now I'm just unconfident and clingy…"

"The new you isn't clingy… she's compassionate… dependent maybe… but she's also open… I like that…"

"So which Lilah do you like best?"

"Both of them… I like that I can love both of them… remember I'm sleep deprived and in the morning might not mean anything I say now…"

"Well no-one's ever loved me before just for being me…"

"Not even your family?"

"Especially not my family… speaking of…"

"Christmas? I'm not going home… Oklahoma's seen enough of me this year. I have four brothers and sisters that can go home… so what about you? Where are you going?"

"Not home… I'm not ready… not yet. Even though part of me thinks they deserve to know about Hannah… Cordy's hell-bent on doing the traditional Christmas at the hotel thing… I'm in charge of cooking…"

"Don't tell me you've gone all domestic?"

"I just might have… Lindsey, Hannah's not…"

"I know she's mine… I couldn’t possibly feel what I feel for her if she wasn't… No matter what Wolfram and Hart say… I know…"