Flesh and Blood (12/25)

Author- Midnight Faith

Pairing- Lindsey/Lilah with Cordy/Angel on the side…

Spoilers- none

Distribution- ff.net, Ace of Harts, Neurotica… anyone else just ask :)

Rating- R

Summary- Wesley comforts Lilah

Notes-' Part 3/3 of a trilogy. Which also contains 'Southern Comfort' and 'Silver Cloud, Bitter Lining.'

Lilah knocked softly on Wesley's door four times.

When he opened it he seemed a little surprised to see her standing there.

"Lilah," he said, neutrally.

"Can I come in?" she asked him.

"Of course," he said, stepping aside to let her enter, "Can I get you anything? Tea?"

"If anyone else makes me another cup of tea I'll…" she said meeting his eyes, "OK then… thankyou."

She followed him into the kitchen and watched him intently as he flicked the switch on the kettle onto 'on.'

"I just came round to… do you need any help with Connor? With Angel and Cordy out tonight and you looking after him… I thought you might…"

"He's fine… he went out like a light…"

"That's good because… sometimes he's fussy."

"I know…"

"Of course… I'm sorry."

"I wish you'd stop apologising…" he told her, taking a step closer, "You didn't need an excuse to come here tonight… if you need to talk. And we all make mistakes… if we didn't we wouldn't be human."

"Lindsey told me he didn't love me…" Lilah found herself admitting to him as the kettle clicked off.

"And you truly believe that?"

"I don't know… yes. I think… I think that maybe if Lindsey doesn't love me… then no-one else does… and maybe I'm not capable of loving anyone else… not even Hannah…"

"That's not fair…" he told her, handing her a cup of tea, "If that was true… then why would Angel let you stay at his hotel? Why would Cordy and I worry about you so much? Connor idolises you and the way you love Hannah… the way it almost hurts to love her… you get that in return from her… so it's certainly not true that you're not capable of love…"

"I guess so…" she said, her voice raw and eyes glossy with tears.

"Lindsey still loves you…" Wesley reassured her, "He's just upset right now… maybe he needs a little space… if you can't face going home right now you can stay here tonight. I'll take the sofa…"

"It think it'll make it worse if I don't go back to the hotel tonight… but thankyou. I don't know what I'd do without you… any of you."

"Come on," he told her gently, "I'll drive you home…"

*****

"Are you sure you don't need me to come in with you?" Wesley asked Lilah, as he pulled up in front of the Hyperion and cut the engine.

"I'm sure… thankyou. For listening to me… for letting me cry on your shoulder… and your pillows… sorry for the mascara factor…"

"Anytime… I mean it. If ever you need a place to go, or stay or just escape for an hour… my door is always open… to you and to Hannah…"

"Thankyou…" she told him, her eyes filling with tears again, "For everything. You and Cordy are my best friends… I love you. I'm sorry… that just slipped out."

"I love you too…" he told her, "We all do…"

"You realise you're the only person who I've said 'I love you' to and they've said it back… and in a way, love in friendship means more… because I'm pretty sure you won't hurt me, or let me down and I trust you… I've never told anyone that before…"

"I'll see you in the morning," he told her, "Early. I want to get on with this case… get ahead of the game…"

"Goodnight then…"

"Goodnight…"

She got out of the car and slowly made her way to the entrance of the hotel.

Lindsey was still sitting in the darkened foyer. He stood by way of greeting, just looking at Lilah, not speaking.

"Wesley drove me home," she told him, "He said he'd drop off your car first thing tomorrow."

"You were at Wesley's?"

"Yeah… he made me tea and toast, got me a blanket and a box of tissues and I slept in his bed for an hour…"

"He made you tea? That was helping…"

"It's more than you've ever done…"

"This is fucking stupid!" he yelled at her.

She flinched, tears clawing against her eyes and throat.

"You've never sworn at me before…" she said, tears spilling over her eyes, "Never."

Instantly he felt guilty, taking her in his arms and rocking her softly.

"I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry," he told her.

"You've never called me darling before either," she said, relaxing into his warmth, "I'm been thinking and I want to move back in with Cordy… tomorrow. It's up to you if you want me to take Hannah with me or not…"

"I want you to take her… she needs you more than she needs me right now… she's been crying for you most of today…"

"I should go up and see her then…"

"Lilah?" he said, as she turned away from him.

"Yeah?"

"I think we should just forget last night… pretend it never happened…" he told her.

"Of course…" she said, pacing towards the stairs.

"I didn't mean what I said before…" he called after her.

"Yes you did…" she told him, walking quickly up the stairs so he wouldn't see that she'd begun to cry again…