Flesh and Blood (6/25)

Author- Midnight Faith

Pairing- Lindsey/Lilah with Cordy/Angel on the side…

Spoilers- BtVS- 'There's no place like home.'

Distribution- ff.net, Ace of Harts, Neurotica… anyone else just ask :)

Rating- R

Summary- Lindsey finally goes to see Lilah

Notes-' Part 3/3 of a trilogy. Which also contains 'Southern Comfort' and 'Silver Cloud, Bitter Lining.' The first two scenes of this part were written on location at the Ramada Jarvis hotel, Chichester. Thanks to all there for a great (or great as it can be without the net) weekend.

"I've never seen coding like this before…" Willow told Wesley, moving closer to the plasma screen of her laptop, "It's not hexagonal… I guess that would be too… y'know… generic for them being an evil incorporated law firm and all…"

"Can you crack it?" Angel asked her.

"We pretty much can…" Willow said, smiling at Fred confidently, "It's just going to take a little time…"

"We might not have a lot of time," Angel said anxiously, "We did see him yesterday. Wolfram and Hart may have… moved the files or something."

"Or there's a code that can change the encryption patterns every fifteen minutes…" Fred pointed out.

"And they'd be just paranoid enough to use it…" Angel said before asking Willow, "What did you tell Dawn?"

"When I told her I was coming to LA to see you guys… she wanted to see you. I just told her you needed some files decrypted but not about Lindsey or anything… she'd freak."

"We've seen 'freak,'" Fred said.

"Lilah?" Willow asked.

Wesley nodded.

"How'd she take it?" Willow questioned.

"Pretty hard…" Angel said, "Which is why we need to get into those files. To see what we can find out… anything about Lindsey… if they went to him or he went to them… what their long term plans are…"

"We'll decrypt them…" Willow assured him, "So… Lilah knows? About you hacking into the database?"

"Not exactly…" Wesley told Willow.

"She knows Lindsey's back that he's working for them…" Angel trailed off.

"She think you're just here for a visit…" Wesley told Willow.

"Where'd Dawn go?" Angel asked.

"She's outside… with Connor…" Fred said.

"I can't believe she's sixteen…" Wesley mused aloud.

"I know… I remember when Dawn was…" Willow trailed off.

"Sometimes things that aren't technically real are the things that are more real than things that are actually real…" Wesley said awkwardly.

The door to the hotel opened and Lilah, followed closely by Cordelia walked in.

"Hey…" Willow said brightly.

Lilah suddenly felt a little self-conscious seeing Willow for the first time since Sunnydale and Gunn.

Sensing her nervousness Cordelia wove around Lilah and gave Willow a brief hug.

"How are you?" Willow asked Lilah.

She shrugged.

"I'm… is Dawn around?" Lilah asked.

"She's out back with Connor," Wesley told her.

"I'm just going to…" Lilah trailed off gesturing to the courtyard door.

Wesley stepped out in front of he, cupping her shoulders with his hands. His eyes traced over her face, noticing for the first time since he's known her she wore no make up and bluish circles had collected underneath her slightly bloodshot eyes.

She tentatively lay her hand on his arm before walking past him and out into the sun filled courtyard.

"She's just a little…" Cordy offered by way of explanation, "She's not sleeping."

"It's OK…" Willow said turning back to the pages of symbolised encryption on the computer screen, "We'll keep trying with this… maybe she'll feel better… when we've found him."

"Or maybe finding Lindsey will make things a lot worse…"

*****

The hammering on the front door at six a.m. awoke Lindsey from his slumbering place on the sofa.

He stumbled over to the door, realising the alcohol induced pounding in his head corresponded perfectly with the person outside's incessant beating.

He swung the door open and through bleary eyes saw Cordelia standing on his doorstep looking far from happy.

If seeing her cleared his senses slightly the stinging slap across his face freed them fully.

His hand made it's way slowly to his face, slowly examining the burning skin, finding she hadn't drawn blood.

She pushed past his arm and into his gloomy apartment. Empty vodka bottles littered the tiled floor and a Bravo noir film marathon blared from the TV.

Picking up his blue shirt thrown casually over the back of his armchair, she threw it at him.

Despite being inhibited he caught it easily.

"Get dressed…" she told him coldly.

"How'd you find me?" he asked her, pulling on the shirt and buttoning it without defiance.

"Willow," she said elusively by way of explanation. She was silent for a moment before asking him simply, "Why?"

"Because… they can help me get my kid."

"You're playing Russian Roulette with your life's… this baby's too. Who isn't just yours by the way."

He sunk back onto his sofa, his head in his hands.

"I've really screwed up," he told Cordy, "All I want is access."

"Really?"

"Really…"

"Right… this is what you're gonna do. First god a god damn grip… You're gonna get in the shower, get dressed, make a strong black coffee. Then you're gonna get yourself round to my apartment and tell the mother of your child, the woman who has given up everything… her life for you exactly what you just told me."

"Lilah," he looked up at Cordy, "How is she?"

"She's worried sick that you'll take her baby away from her… I've listened to her cry herself to sleep for the past two days… do you even care?"

"I'm surprised she cares… she wants the baby. She never wanted it when I was around…"

"This baby was the only thing she had left of you… and she was clinging to that but doing OK. It took a lot of time to bring her back from the edge you drove her to. I don't think she's ever been loved… you started that and left us to pick up the pieces. If you go and see you now you won't make it up to her… but you could make these next couple of weeks at least tolerable for her…"

*****

Lilah's hand shook violently as she tapped Cordy's cell number into the cordless phone.

She listened to it ring twice before clicking onto her voicemail. Listening to the short message Lilah began to pace the room with growing agitation before saying into the receiver,

"Cordy, it's me. Call me back when you get this…"

She clicked the button to turn the cordless phone off and moments later three hard raps on the door, startled her, making her jump and her heart flutter furiously against her ribcage.

"Lilah… it's me…" Lindsey said through the door, his voice nervous.

"What do you want?" she asked him testily.

"Just to talk… come on… open the door."

"Why should I trust you?"

"This is ridiculous… I just want to see you."

Slowly she clicked the locks of the door open and half hid herself behind the door.

"I just… Cordy came to see me," he told her, after simply looking at her for a moment, "She said I should talk to you. She was right… I just wanted to tell you that I don't want to take the baby away from you…"

"Why?" She asked in disbelief, stepping aside to let him enter and closing the door behind him.

"Because this baby is yours… just as much as it's mine… I just want to be able to see him or her occasionally… be part of my kid's life…"

"Maybe sooner than you think…"

"What?"

"When I was in the shower just now… my water broke…"

Fear knifed him in the heart as he swallowed hard against a suddenly dry throat.

He didn't have much time to get used to the idea as he watched Lilah double over in pain. Covering the short distance between them quickly, steadying her with his own body until she stood up again, his hand instinctively rubbing her back to try and relieve some of the pain.

Her skin had completely drained of colour and she had turned a deathly shade of pale but despite this she still managed a weak smile and apologised when she saw her nail marks in his arm.

"Hey," he said, "It's OK… what do you want to do? What should I do?"

"Just… try Cordy on her cell again."

Lindsey gently laid Lilah down on the sofa, covering her with his jacket before picking up the phone and pressing the button marked 're-dial.'

The ringing turned once again to Cordelia's voice mail. He left her a short message, taking Lilah's hand in his as he did so, before placing the phone back on the table in front of him.

"What now?" he asked.

"Come and sit with me… please?"

He walked around the sofa, scooping her body up in his arms so he held her to his chest.

"You’re shaking," he noted.

"So are you…"

"I'm scared…"

"Me too… this baby's over five weeks early."

"It'll be fine…"

She grimaced in pain again and clung to him tightly, tears stinging at her eyes.

"It's OK…" he soothed gently rubbing her shoulders, "I'm gonna put you in my car and drive you to the hospital OK?"

She nodded weakly as he swept her up in his arms, carrying her out of the apartment, down the steps and to his car…