Cause and Effect (6/10)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- various for season 2, up to and including 'Dead End.'

Distribution- FF.net, AOH and Neurotica. Anyone else ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- NC-17

Summary- Linwood makes Lilah an offer

Disclaimer- I am the kid, but it's Joss' candy store

Notes- Sequel to 'Owing.'

"It's been three months, Lilah. You really should see where I work." Lindsey told her, opening the door of the Hyperion.

"Lindsey, I don't think this is such a good idea." Lilah stepped inside, her arms crossed over her chest. "I've seen where you work. You know, all the times I tried to kill your happy new co-workers for the firm."

"Angel never puts in an appearance before midday. Come and meet Cordelia." Lindsey guided Lilah across to the counter. Cordelia looked up, arching an eyebrow.

"The infamous Lilah Morgan," Cordy said, her tone veering wildly between friendly and hostile.

"The infamous Cordelia Chase," Lilah said as Cordy stood defensively. "Thought you'd be taller."

"I just wanted to show Lilah my desk. Where is everyone?" Lindsey asked, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Wes and Gunn are out on a case. Angel and Fred are still sleeping."

Lilah smirked, feeling something dark and oppressive tighten around her lungs. She took a deep breath, reaching for Lindsey's hand for reassurance. She got it in a single catch. A gentle squeeze of his hand around hers the support she needed- or he needed; after all, she was doing this for him.

"So, this is my desk." Lindsey led Lilah over to a tiny workspace, housing a computer and folders waiting for filing. All there was by way of stationary was a jar of felt tips and Lilah couldn't help but feel the desk would crumble should you sneeze on it. On top of his computer sat three photos, one of him and Lilah on their wedding day, another of Lilah and one of Tigger.

Lilah smiled. "You've got great taste in photos."

"Well, my wife taught me." He reached inside his desk drawer and handed Lilah a long, flat, rectangular jewellery box from inside. "Surprise."

"What's this?" Lilah opened the case to reveal a silver necklace embedded with tiny pink sapphires. "Oh my God, Lindsey it's gorgeous! What's the occasion?" she asked, as he fastened the necklace around her neck.

"We've been married three months today. But no real reason. Just you."

"I love it. Thank you." She checked her watch. "I'm late for work. Walk me to the car?"

"Sure."

They strolled outside, hand in hand, in comfortable silence, pausing at the kerb next to Lilah's car.

"It'll never fade." Lindsey said.

"What won't?"

"This feeling of wanting one person." Lindsey grinned. "When it's you anyway."

"I hope not, because I think the feeling's contagious." She smiled and kissed him softly.

"What's wrong?" he noted her worried expression and cupped her face.

"Nothing… I've just got a bad feeling about today." She looked away. "I'm sure it's nothing."

*****

Lilah walked into her office to find Linwood helping himself to her scotch. She paused in the doorway as he looked up at her.

"You’re late," he pointed out, downing the scotch in his glass.

"Yeah, I was taking my husband to work." She sat down in her leather chair. "Little early for liquor, don't you think?"

"Come on, Lilah. I know you better than this. I remember a time when you'd be the one drinking before ten a.m."

"And how exactly do you think you know me?"

"Well, I know you're broke. Absolutely desperate for money. Your company loyalty bonus is getting less by the month, MacDonald owes Angel all that money, more so now you have little pieces of South Africa around your neck, and that mangy fur ball of yours needs all those vaccinations."

"If there's a point to any of this, feel free to come to it."

"You want money. I'm willing to give you money."

"What's the catch?"

"There's no catch."

"What would I have to do?"

"It's simple, really. Just prove your loyalty. A few special assignments. There are three women in this city who are dangerous to our cause- all you'd have to do is eliminate them."

Lilah paused, leaning back in her chair. "How much?"

"A million."

Lilah's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes. Could buy quite a nice house but you could earn more."

"How?"

"You've got a nice mouth, Lilah. Always wondered what it would feel like. How you'd feel under me."

Lilah narrowed her eyes. "Get out."

"Come on. Not even for two million?"

"I'm not your whore."

"And yet you'll turn tricks for McDonald for free."

"We're married."

"Is that what you're calling it? Looks to me as if he's just sponging off you. Getting an easy ride- in a certain sense- whenever he wants."

"It's not like that."

"The psychics never fabricate, Lilah. They're never wrong. Think about my offers- all of them." Linwood smiled at her falsely, slamming the door shut behind him.

*****

Lilah awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright and gasping for air. Beside her, Lindsey stirred and sat up, putting his hands on her shoulders, realising she was shaking fiercely, her breathing rapid.

"Bad dream?" He got his answer as she clung to him tightly, arms wrapped firmly around his stomach. He rested his cheek against hers, feeling the wet warmth of her tears against his skin. "It's alright. You’re safe. It was just a dream." Lindsey just held her for a few moments, rocking her softly, soothingly. Eventually he said, "Tell me about it."

"I don't want to. It was so vivid, so horrible." She shuddered against him, remembering. A barrage of images flashed through her head. Her killing Lindsey, stabbing him over and over, carving up his body followed by her and Linwood. Him all over her, the memory of him on her skin felt so real it was almost as if she wasn't dreaming at all.

"I think you need to."

She didn't reply and after a few moments of silence Lindsey asked, "Need me to do anything?"

"No, I'm OK. Sorry for disturbing you."

"You're my wife; you're entitled to disturb me all you want. You wanna settle back down? I can sit up in case you have another nightmare."

"Thank you. That's really sweet. But I don't think I'll be closing my eyes… ever again. I might just go downstairs. Watch some late night 'Leeza.'"

"Watch it in here."

"But you're trying to sleep."

"It's OK. I'll sit with you." He shifted so they were both more comfortable against the pillows. "Better?"

"Much." She pulled herself out of his arms. "Actually, I'm kind of thirsty."

"What do you want?"

"It's OK, Lindsey, I just don't feel safe and I can't sleep. I need to be doing something… I'll go and make tea."

"You're going to make tea?" Lindsey let the dubiousness seep into his voice.

"Camomile's supposed to be soothing. I don't need to get more jittery on coffee." She got out of bed.

"Lilah?"

"Yeah."

"Let me do something- I feel useless."

She turned back to him. "This is gonna sound childish, but can you check the locks on the doors and windows?"

"Of course I will. And it's not childish, I understand."

Five minutes later, having checked the locks, Lindsey joined Lilah in the kitchen. He put his hand on her hip and kissed into her hair. "Everything's secure."

Lilah smiled, relieved.

"You look tired. Go back to bed, I'll bring the tea up." Lindsey offered.

"Actually, I want a shower. I feel all sticky."

"OK." Lindsey sat at the table as Lilah poured them both a herbal tea. "Tell me about the dream."

She set his tea down in front of him and said, "I'd rather not."

"I think you need to."

"I'm getting in the shower."

Lindsey sighed but persevered, following her up the stairs (followed himself by the cat), and into the shower. The water felt cool against his skin and he watched Lilah for a moment, her back to him, breathing raggedly. Eventually she turned to him and let him hold her. For a few minutes they were silent, rocking softly back and forth before Lilah whispered, "Thank you. For staying with me."

"Always," he promised, kissing her nose. "Are you OK now?"

"Yeah, I feel cleaner."

"Ready to go back to bed?"

"Yeah." Lilah let Lindsey guide her out of the shower and dry her off, locating her a robe. He put his arms around her and guided her back into the bedroom, where Tigger had snuck under the covers. Lilah suppressed a grin.

"And I thought we'd gotten past this." Lindsey complained.

"Let her stay. Just for tonight."

"OK- but not in the bed." Lindsey picked up the cat and set her on the floor.

Lilah smiled after her. "I feel safe when she's around."

"That's because she's family."

Lilah curled up in bed, letting Lindsey coil around her.

"I don't want to sleep." Lilah whined.

"It's OK."

She flipped over to face him.

"Lindsey?"

"Yeah?"

"Linwood offered me a case, as overtime."

"Do you want to take it?"

"I'm tempted. in the evenings though, shady stuff."

"How's the money?"

"Up to two million."

Lindsey's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow- that's excellent."

"I know. Imagine what we could do with two million."

"We could buy a Porsche."

"A purple one." Lilah smiled. "I've been thinking about how we might spend it."

"You've got it all planned out?" Lindsey grinned, cuddling closer.

"Well, obviously you have to pay back Angel."

"Obviously." Lindsey smiled again, kissing her neck.

"And then pay off my credit cards. And invest some- preferably not in Chihuahua racing. And then I thought we could buy a house."

"That'd be nice. But not just with your money. I'd want to put something towards it."

"Lindsey, any money I make isn't mine, it's ours."

"I still want to contribute something."

"I've never lived in a house."

"Me either. Hut with dirt floors, yes. House, no."

"Maybe with a pool, and oh, a German shepherd."

"German shepherd?"

"I know you're missing having a dog."

"But a German shepherd and a cat won't mix too well. Maybe a West Highland white terrier?"

"And bedrooms. Maybe three? Four?"

"We only need two max."

"As it stands we do, but maybe- if there were more people."

"Oh." Lindsey caught her drift and then repeated, more surprised, "Oh."

"Do you think maybe we could sit up to have this conversation?"

"Sure."

They both hitched themselves up, nervous about what the other would say.

"So- more people." Lindsey said. "We're not talking a cleaner?"

"No. A family."

"Right." Lindsey looked at her, cautiously. "Are you saying you want a baby?"

"I've been thinking about it a lot recently. And Emily and Madison stayed the other weekend and no-one ended up in the emergency room." She smiled at him, feeling incredibly insecure. Half of her knew the psychics must be wrong; if Lindsey didn't love her he wouldn't be so constantly patient and kind with her. Having a family would only be further proof of that love.

"So how long do you want to wait? Until we've got the house sorted?"

"Actually, I was thinking kind of now."

"Oh."

"If it's too soon for you we can wait."

"No, now is fine."

"You haven't said how you feel about this."

"If you want kids, so do I."

"Are you sure? We can wait if you're not."

"No." Lindsey took her hand. "I want kids; I just didn't think you did." He scooted over to hug her.

She smiled, relieved. "I think it'll be good for us. Plus, one extra person would be really nice."

"Yeah, tough, but nice…" Lindsey smiled, kissing her hair. "Did all of this come out of that dream?"

"The dream was the catalyst. In my dream… Wolfram and Hart killed you. They made me kill you and then I forgot who you were. I just think having a baby would be an unbreakable bond. Erika said she felt ten times closer to Nick after Emily was born."

"That's impossible. I don't need another person to be closer to you. But if you want this, I want this."

"I can't even tell you I love you without freaking out. Maybe having a child would make it easier."

"This is scary."

"I know. But getting a cat was scary at first."

They lay down together, not speaking, still entangled. Lilah smiled. "Your touch has changed."

"How?"

"You're holding me tighter. Before you held back a little bit."

"Now there's no holding back. What made you change your mind?"

"You," she told him simply.

"Plus," he grinned, "I hear the actual making of the baby can be fun too."

Lilah smiled back. "Wanna experiment?"