Cause and Effect (4/10)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- various for season 2, up to and including 'Dead End.'

Distribution- FF.net, AOH and Neurotica. Anyone else ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- R

Summary- Lilah re-thinks.

Disclaimer- I am the kid, but it's Joss' candy store

Notes- Sequel to 'Owing.'

"I can't believe we just did that." Lilah grinned, cuddling closer into Lindsey.

"Me either."

"How many hours now?"

"Thirteen hours as man and wife."

"Ruined bed sheets and all." Lilah yawned, squirming into the hotel's Egyptian cotton bed linen.

"You tired?" he asked her.

"It's still early, isn't it?"

"By your standards." He picked up her watch from his side of the bed. "It's almost two."

"Feels later."

"Well, the stuff we've been doing has been pretty exhausting." He grinned at her, a wicked glint in his eye.

"What else did you expect?"

He squeezed her tighter. "Now what?" he asked, tone changing to one of seriousness.

"Hot tub?" She gestured to the Jacuzzi on the balcony.

"You know I didn't mean that. We'll talk, then hot tub."

"OK, talk. I don't know what there is to say though," she tensed, turning her head away from him.

"Are you all right with this?" He persevered.

"News flash- bit late to back out now."

He shot her a look. "You can drop the act now."

"Who says it's an act?"

"Well, you're seeing your family soon. Having to explain."

"Not a lot to explain. Maybe I could draw a diagram?"

"For fuck's sake, Lilah!" He sat on the edge of the bed, turning his back on her. "Everything's a game with you."

She hesitated a moment, shocked by his genuine hurt. "I'm sorry."

He could hear that she meant it, surprised.

"It's a mask," she continued, "It doesn't go away. Except sometimes, when I'm with you- I forget."

"You don't have to put on a show for me," he said, turning back to her and taking her hand. "Just be Lilah. My Lilah."

She sat up. "*Your* Lilah?"

"Well by California State law I do own half of you."

"Which half do you want? Left or right?"

He cupped her chin gently with his hand and examined each side of her face before releasing her. "Both sides look pretty damn perfect from here." He paused for a moment, she smiled at him and he continued, "You looked beautiful today."

"You didn't look so bad yourself. Come on - hot tub." She took his hand and pulled him from the bed, down the three marble steps and into the jacuzzi, flicking the button to 'on' as she went.

He immediately clambered out. Lilah shot him a confused look and he explained, "Champagne. And strawberries." She nodded and he returned momentarily with a complementary cooler complete with bottle of champagne and fruit. He poured them each a glass and fed her a strawberry before joining her in the water.

"We have to get a hot tub," he said. "This feels really good."

"Except for the part where we have literally no money."

"I'll pay you back. Every cent," he promised.

"Lindsey- no. This is on me." She pulled a strawberry from the main batch, took it between her fingers and fed it to him.

He swallowed. "I'll buy us something else, then. A car."

"You can't afford it! You owe Angel a thousand dollars for this rock on my finger. I'm surprised at his generosity," she sniped sarcastically. "Besides, we already have two cars and a truck. You don’t have to buy me anything." She was silent for a moment before saying, "I'm terrified of telling Erika we eloped."

"We eloped?" he asked, smiling.

"We ran away to get married- therefore, eloped."

"Romantic. So why are you afraid of telling her?" he pulled her onto his lap, running water over her shoulders and upper back.

"You know how she is. The poster girl for traditional family values. I'm sure she would've preferred her little sister attended church every Sunday, got married there and had her daughters in puffy- sleeved pink bridesmaid dresses."

"Lilah, she'll understand," he reassured, rubbing her back in a way he knew she found soothing. "I'll tell her if you want."

"No, it's OK. It's best if it comes from me. And face to face. I'm gonna wait until we get to Idaho. But I won't tell her the part where we didn't draw up any pre-nups."

"Do you want to draw up post-nups instead?"

"No, it says 'something might go wrong'. I don't want to think about that."

"Me either." He kissed her tenderly, running his hands up and down her sides. "Is this what you expected your wedding night to be like?"

"I told you, Lindsey. I had no expectations. What about you?"

"I thought I would've exhausted you by now. You're so full of energy tonight."

"Look who's talking." She shifted in his lap so her arms were more tightly woven around his neck and whispered in his ear, "I love you."

"I love you too," he told her, his hands sweeping her hair back, allowing him direct access to her neck.

"Show me?"

And he did.

*****

Garden City was perhaps the most suburban of the Boise suburbs. The Smith's garden was absolutely typical, right down to the golden retriever, white picket fence and mailbox with surname painted on the side.

Lilah was surprised how quickly her hands took to washing up liquid. Ever since last night, when Erika had plunged her hands into a basin full of dirty plates -with a cry of "They'll melt!" from Lilah, she had been designated the 'washer' after each meal, Erika the 'dryer…' and Lindsey would go outside with the kids.

Lilah glanced out of the window, watching him playing Frisbee with her nieces, Emily and Madison.

"Lilah?" Erika smiled at her, noticing her distant expression. "That dish isn't gonna wash itself you know."

"Sorry." She swirled the dishcloth around the plate she was holding and handed it to her sister for drying.

"Not getting broody, are we?" Erika teased.

"No, no. God- really, no."

"Why not? I've done my part to carry on the Morgan line, now it's your turn."

"You’re just saying that because you want Emily and Madison to have cousins."

"Or maybe I just think you'd make great parents and I want to see my little sister happy."

"We don't want… we're not ready. We only just got married." Lilah struggled for words.

"Nick and I thought that but now we wouldn't be without the kids. It's brought us closer together too. Knowing we have something that he and I created."

"We really don't want kids," Lilah repeated.

"It's something to think about, though."

"But Lindsey and I couldn't be closer. Really… We only got married four days ago- the closeness from that is still fresh."

"You mean from when you eloped?" Erika let the bitterness creep into her voice.

"I'm sorry, but we just couldn't wait."

"It would've been nice to actually attend my sister's wedding. But I guess you picked a good one- that makes up for it."

"I love him." Lilah coloured slightly. "We fit so perfectly together." Erika raised an eyebrow. "Not in *that* way! OK- yes, in that way. When he holds me, my body just naturally falls into the lines of his. I Like that closeness. But I've never been so scared of losing anything in my entire life."

"Are you kidding? I've seen the way he looks at you."

"But I know someday, eventually, he'll want kids."

"So it's not a case of 'we don't want kids' it's more 'I don't want kids?'"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Are you scared you won't be ready?"

"I'll never be ready."

"And who read my kids their bedtime story last night?"

"Lindsey."

"OK- but who sat with them and listened and let Emily read to them? You'd have no problems, Lilah, you just need a little confidence and a lot of reassurance."

Lilah scowled at Erika, watching Lindsey usher the kids inside.

"Hey." He greeted Lilah with a kiss on the cheek. "Want me to take over?"

"Aunt Lilah?" She felt a hand tug on her shirt. "Will you read me a story while Maddy's in the bath?" Lilah's eldest niece looked up at her with big blue eyes.

"And the same for me while Em's in there?" Madison asked, slipping her left, slightly muddy hand into Lilah's.

She smiled a little reluctantly. "Sure." Looking over at Lindsey she reflected there really was plenty of time for second thoughts.