Cause and Effect (2/10)

Author- Midnight Faith

Spoilers- various for season 2, up to and including 'Dead End.'

Distribution- FF.net, AOH and Neurotica. Anyone else ask :)

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey

Rating- R

Summary- Lindsey has a question

Disclaimer- I am the kid, but it's Joss' candy store

Notes- Sequel to 'Owing.'

The alarm blared dead on seven on Monday morning.

Lindsey yawned, having been awake half a minute before on instinct, and leaned over Lilah to flick the alarm off.

She awakened to find his body provocatively over hers.

"Well, this is uncouth," he said, not moving.

"For the third morning in a row."

He moved off her, suddenly seeming very far away. She followed, tracing a finger over his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to be awkward."

"They're not- mostly. This weekend has been nice. Movies, cuddling, feeding each other popcorn. Soppy stuff, as you'd call it."

"You're right. It has been nice." She nuzzled into his neck. "I'm sorry the weekend's over."

"You're going into work?"

"I have to." She sat up on the edge of her side of the bed. "Meetings with clients all day."

"But I wanted to prove my culinary skills and cook you lunch." He almost pouted.

"You can cook me dinner instead. Two dinners. I'll skip lunch specially." She made her way to the closet.

"Don't be stupid. Lunch can wait. I'll make dinner though. Something special."

"Just clear out the oven first. I haven't used it in two years and I took to storing things in there at one point. What are you going to do today anyway?"

"I'm going to ask someone for a job."

"Oh?" Lilah located a towelling robe from the closet and turned back to him. "Who?"

"Angel."

"Oh. Right." She walked to the bathroom, stripping off tank top and pyjama bottoms, before getting into the shower. Suspicion raced through her veins. Less than a week ago Lindsey went behind her back to gain answers and now he wanted to ally with Angel permanently? Lindsey followed her, freeing himself of his own clothes before joining her under the water.

"Not too awkward?" he asked.

"Of course not." She turned to him, smiled and kissed him on the lips. "I do love you, you know."

Shock set in his features. "I know, well, you told me it was really hard for you to say. I appreciate you telling me. And I love you too. I hope it goes without saying. Because I think it all the time."

"Me too."

He kissed her again and as she reached behind him for the shampoo asked, "So you don't mind?"

"What?"

"Me potentially working for Angel."

"It'll be fine, as long as we don't bring the politics of work home with us. I don't talk about it; you don't talk about it. Leave all the threatening to Angel, OK?"

"I'll ask him not to." He turned around to locate shower gel.

"No- no politics, remember?" She began to rinse shampoo out of her hair. "Why are you doing it anyway? Suddenly switching sides to work for Angel?"

"Easy money?"

"You don't need to earn money. We can scrape by on my half pay salary."

"No, no scraping, Princess Lilah." He kissed her on the forehead.

"If you say so." She rolled her eyes, rinsing the last of the suds out of her hair and flicked the shower off, shivering as she pulled back the curtain. She climbed out and grabbed towels for both herself and Lindsey. They dried off in silence until Lindsey looked up and said, "You shouldn't have to scrape by. I'm sorry about your salary."

"It's not your fault." She offered out her arms for a hug that he gladly accepted. "Plus, it's not like we're below the bread line."

"I'll sort some money out. Even if Angel says no."

"I can't exactly see him doing that. You know. His redemptionist crap. Yadda, yadda."

"Me either." He drew back slightly to kiss her nose.

"My first appointment's not until ten. How about I take you out for breakfast?"

"I'll pay for the coffee, you pay for the croissants?"

"Deal."

*****

"I thought you'd be in big sky country by now." Angel gestured to a seat, smirking slightly. He sat down on the opposite side of the desk. Lindsey slowly lowered himself into the chair indicated. It was a more civilised angle than he was accustomed to viewing the Hyperion office from.

Lindsey smiled. "That was the original plan."

"Yet you're still here- in Los Angeles." Angel leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "What changed?"

"Lilah." Lindsey couldn't help but smile a little again, at the sound of her name.

"Lilah. Really?"

"We've been living together for the past year."

"I know."

"You do?" Lindsey's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"I've smelled you on each other- in an up-close-and-personal kind of way."

"She was lying in my arms in bed last night and I-" he paused, "I want to marry her."

"Oh." It was Angel's turn to be surprised.

"If she could hear me now- for one thing she'd probably laugh and call me… something. I can't imagine being with anyone else, wanting anyone else."

"In that case I hope she says yes."

"That's why I'm here."

"I'm not asking her for you."

"No. Wolfram and Hart have drained my bank accounts. All of them, even the ones I thought they didn't know about. I've got maybe a hundred dollars left tops. And an engagement ring, a really nice one, is gonna be closer to a thous…"

"You want me to loan you the money?"

"Not loan exactly. I want to work for you to work off the debt," Lindsey admitted grudgingly, realising he had no other choice. This had to be the lowest he'd ever sunk- grovelling to the man he'd sworn to be his mortal enemy only a year previously.

"You know I'm not in charge around here, right? Wes is the boss now." Angel smirked again, feeling somewhat- liberated. Lindsey may not have had a complete change of heart, but surely this was a positive step.

"I know."

"And Gunn and Cordy might not be too wild about you joining up."

"I'll file, make coffee, answer the phone."

"You must really like her."

"I love her. So do we have a deal?"

*****

"Sorry!" Lilah called, rushing into their apartment quarter of an hour late, "Meeting overran."

"It's OK," Lindsey said, walking towards her and feeling his heart suddenly beat faster. He kissed her on the cheek, earning himself a loving hug. Drawing back, he cupped her face gently.

"Are you OK?" she asked, her tone still light and off-hand, yet concern caught at the edges of her voice. "You seem jumpy."

"I'm fine. I ran you a bath. Lit some candles."

"You have *way* too much time on your hands."

"Guilty as charged. I just wanted tonight to be special."

"I really missed you today," she said genuinely, before her flippant smile returned. "Anyway, where's my cat?"

"She's in the kitchen, sat in front of the oven."

"Didn't you feed her yet?"

"Yes, but now she wants more food."

"So give her more food."

"But the side of the box says you shouldn't give them more than the RDA."

"Lindsey, she's growing. She needs food. Just for tonight, OK? Unless you want her meowing and running around under the table all night."

"Good point. Go get in the bath before the water gets cold."

"OK. See you in an hour."

And an hour later, Lilah walked back down the stairs to find the table dragged into the den, a single candle illuminating the room from the centre.

"What's all this?" she asked suspiciously.

"Dinner." Lindsey said, stood by one of the chairs, suddenly nervous. "More specifically lasagne. You like it?"

"It's great. If I want to trip over Tigger in the dark and break my neck."

"Sorry. There can be more light." Lindsey said, moving towards the lamp next to the sofa.

"Lindsey." Lilah stilled him by pulling him into a hug. "I can see fine in this light. It's just me being me."

He hugged her back, squeezing her waist.

"Come on," she said, after letting the embrace remain for a few minutes. "I'm starved." He let her lead him to the table where they sat and ate for the next quarter of an hour, in relative silence except for small talk over their cable package and the possibility of getting HBO on demand. ("'Sex and the City' specifically- research purposes only. *That thing* I can do with my tongue I learnt directly from 'Sex,'" Lilah said with a teasing smile.)

Eventually, Lindsey dragged his chair closer to Lilah's under the pretence of pouring her more wine.

As he did so she picked her moment to say, "I have to know."

"I thought you said no work politics at home? I assume that's what you're talking about." He set the bottle back down on the table.

"Are you now working for my arch nemesis?"

"Arch nemesis?"

"Yes or no?"

"Yes."

"Case closed. Next topic. Have you seen my ring? The one I wear on this hand?" She gestured to her left ring finger. "I could've sworn I had it yesterday but I couldn't find it this morning."

"Uh yeah, confession time. I have it. Kinda wanted something to remind me of you. I didn't want to ask in case you made fun of me." His throat felt suddenly dry, the conversation path obvious, suddenly fearful of rejection.

"Lindsey." She smiled and reached for his hand. "Actually I think it's kind of sweet."

"Really?" he asked, watching the kitten jump up onto Lilah's lap.

She sighed playfully. "Damn cat! You can't give us five minutes' peace, can you?"

"I'll take her. Just hold this a second."

Lilah stretched out her hand, not looking up, trying to prise a paw with outstretched claws off her pantyhose without snagging them or getting playfully bitten. An open, velvet jewellery box lay in her hand, containing two rings.

"Shit." Lilah said eventually, blood rushing to her head, forgetting all about the state of her clothes. "What's this?"

"Well one ring is yours, swiped so I could to size the other. And the other…"

"Don't say it," she cut in defensively, putting the cat on the floor, standing and setting the box on the table, suddenly incredibly agitated. What was he trying to do, manipulating her emotions like this? "Are you asking what I think you are?"

"It depends- but probably." He tugged uncomfortably at the collar of his shirt, realising this conversation wasn't going well, yet he had half expected this from her.

"Well, ask then."

"No. Not like this. With you tense and snappy and pacing up and down. Come and sit down."

She did so, agitated and non-compliant. Lindsey put his arm around her in an effort to soothe. "Lilah, I love you. I've loved you for a very long time now. And I want to marry you. So I'm asking you to be my wife."

Lilah's eyes burnt. She couldn't see straight or form words, terrified by the obvious strength of his feelings for her.

"You don't have to give me an answer right away," he continued quietly and soothingly, wanting to compromise. "We can just go onto raspberry mousse and I'll put the ring away. We can talk about it when you're ready to. There's no pressure. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you."

Lilah stood up, shakily leaning against the back of the sofa, willing herself to breathe.

"I need some time," she told him, but two seconds later, chastising herself for being so weak, turned back and said, "OK. Yes."

Lindsey's eyes widened in surprise. Then…"Yes? What happened to time?"

"Yes… and I've thought about it. Yes." She took a step back as he walked towards her, ring in hand. "But I need to talk out a few things first. Actually one thing for the moment. We'll deal with pre- nups later."

"OK."

"Kids. Is that the automatic next step?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "That's a complex question. But no. Not the automatic next step. We can talk about it if and when the time is right."

"And if I told you I never wanted kids would it make a difference?"

"Well you've told me and I still want to marry you, so no."

"OK then." She offered him her violently shaking left hand and he silently slipped the ring onto her finger, hampered by his hand trembling in equal measure.

"You alright?" she asked him. "You're all shaky."

"I'm fine." He smiled and led her to the sofa, relief rushing warmly through his veins.

"I'm gonna get a glass of water. You want one?" she offered, suddenly feeling much calmer, an odd, unfamiliar sense of peace starting in her stomach and spreading through her upper body.

"Sure." He kissed her hand as she got up and returned minutes later, handing him a glass. "I never thought you'd say yes." He draped his arm around her shoulders, taking a moment to just hold her, to make sure what he thought was happening really was, that it wasn't some crazy hallucination.

"Then why ask?" she questioned, eyes sparkling.

"Because I wanted you to know there's never gonna be anyone else for me."

"You’re so soppy. But why ask me to marry you?"

"Because you smell amazing. You look amazing. But most importantly you like the same kind of pizza I do. Why'd you say yes anyway?"

"Because you're kind. And sweet. And it's like taking a giant hot water bottle to bed every night- except more energy efficient." Her contented smile faded. "We have a lot to talk about."

"Can't that wait? Can't we just go to bed?" He asked, not wanting the calm, happy feeling to fade.

"It's only nine thirty."

He took her by surprise, picking her up by the waist, slinging her over his shoulder. She shrieked, "Lindsey! Put me down!"

"I won't drop you." He tightened his hold on her, and carried her towards the stairs.

"All the blood is rushing to my head."

He reached the bedroom and placed her on the bed, kissing her on the mouth before moving off her and lying beside her, far enough away so they weren't touching.

"Hey." She rolled over so she was lying on top of him.

"Sorry." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I thought you'd want me to stop."

"Lindsey." She smiled down at him. "It's OK."

"You don't have to prove anything to me."

"And neither do you. Let's just do whatever comes naturally. Be gentle, OK?"

"Lilah." He rolled her off him tenderly and took her in his arms.

"I feel like crying," she said after a few minutes, a thickness rising in her throat.

"Why?" He kissed her on the forehead.

"Because I'm so happy." The warmth of his body and the comfort of his arms were beginning to make her drowsy.

"Now who's the soppy one?" he teased, resting his head against her shoulder. "You want to get changed? You're drifting off there."

She sat up and let him undress her. He handed her a pink and grey vest top and pyjama trouser set before getting changed himself and pulling her back into his arms.

"It's gonna be perfect, Li."

"Call me that again and the wedding's off."

"Or you could just throw water over me again."

"I'm sorry." She turned over to face him.

"It's not your fault. You were upset."

"I shouldn't have, though."

"And I shouldn't have left you. I'll never do it again. Not for a single night, not ever."

"Do you think we can get all this written into the vows?"