Romance, Attack-like

by kimera

Rurouni Kenshin-FanFiction

Nekktarinka's Lovey Dovey Challenge, no. 3

Rating: PG 13

Warning: no native, comedy of errors, lemonish

Special warning:

I'm no native, I have no beta and no editor, I only knew the Manga-series in translation, so you can imagine what'll happen to your poor brain... consider yourself to be warned.

Disclaimer:

Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki, the Challenge to Nekktarinka, no interfering whatsoever.

Short Summary:

Once they were men in uniform, now they're a big bad wolf and a mean little rooster... fighting for romance.

(Men in uniform, a preceding story- line, can be found with SaiSa, or on my homepage).

This is entirely to dear Nekktarinka, please keep your adorable smile on ^_^

[08-02-04]

~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~ ~#~

Romance, Attack-like

There happened to be a rare amount of things to render Sanosuke Sagara a heavy headache... top of the short list was finding a decent gift to their anniversary.

Since his serious, mind- reeling, cross- and up- dressing encounter with the infamous, notorious former captain of the Shinsengumi, Hajime Saitou, the last surviving member and wolf of Mibu, things were getting pretty complicated.

Well, what did you expect, making out with a secret agent of the Meiji police forces, the last stand of the stumbling country against conspiracies, gaijin oppressors and ambitioned gangsters?

Dating a fierce, sinister, constantly frowning man who disemboweled people on a regular basis to pay the rent, was definitely something else.... taking into account, Sanosuke had never ever felt the urge to date someone.

It's always first time of everything with him, he sighed sulkily, for once leaving his usual brash, cocky, obnoxious attitude, a twig lazily dangling form his lower lip.

A lot of nagging, snuggling, kissing, teasing and begging had dug up the true meaning of his lover's surname, "Hajime", relating to his date of birth, on the first of January... no joking, with this head-start to anyone else, the tight cricket-face of evil enforcer had to be on top of everything!

Like being the only one saving the country, and accidentally mankind, in the first place, day in, day out, wielding his famous justice of Aku Soku Zan.

He's a fucking psycho, some minor worries crept up the fist-fighter's spine, hissing abhorrently, he gets kicks out of stabbing people... you know what they say about that... 

Oh, shut up already!!, banging his forehead against a nearby tree, Sanosuke stifled the tantrum of self-preserving voices, I'm stuck with old mantis-face, no doubt about that!

All right, he gets thrilled by getting the better of everyone else, he's a sneaky, tricky, evil bastard... but, fuck!; he loves me... at least I think so... he better does...!!

So, back to the subject at hand... they met rarely in private, for a notorious brawler and constantly gambling ex- gangster and a highly regarded, honorable officer (known as Gorou Fujita), could not team up without rising suspicion and certain rumors.

Whenever there was no duty calling, no visits to pay, the fate of Japan out of instant danger, exchanging glances, they dated on a secluded spot near one of the old, haunted graveyards where the lost souls of strives, wars and famine were buried.

Cozy.... resting on the bare ground, leisurely kissing, caressing and keeping the sacred silence.

Another point to hit... talking became taunting- teasing- mocking- growling- menacing- yelling- insulting within seconds... although both of them tried their best to remain civil and... docile.

But surely, this could not be the end of it, no da?, Sanosuke kicked a lonesome pebble to meet some pals down the ditch, there was absolutely a lot of other thrilling things to do!!

If they ever got that far...

So he came up, last winter, with the idea of having a nice birthday party with his meant-to-be-lover, but Saitou disagreed grumpily, on new year's eve, everyone was celebrating with family and friends, people being hilariously and later on-deliriously-happy about another year to mess up their lives, so there was definitely some crime going on...

Okay, the fist-fighter gnashed his teeth to swallow infuriated yells of disappointment, what about my birthday then? February was a nice month without major trouble to be foreseen.... but the wolf had growled with a non- committal shrug, duty calling in Kyouto....

Kyouto!!!

What fucking duty could be more important than spending one special evening with his devoted, beautiful, virile, simply- gorgeous lover?!

I'll send you a note with the date of my return, the frosty bastard of ignorant and cold-hearted wolf had answered, placing a poor, shameful peck on the rooster's forehead, ruffling the statically sizzling spiky strands of dark brown hair.

How dare that asshole leaving me like that?!

I'm not some fucking whore!!

Well, he never tried to make me, by the way....

So he ended up sulking, too worried and wound up with doubts to become his brash, angry, charging usual self.

Maybe Saitou liked him more maiden-like, maybe he should dress up and check out the response?

Or maybe he just gets the hots for you when you're bleeding, being shot and ready to pass out on a damn desk, a sour voice added bitterly.

They had been that close, just watching each other, holding tight, the wolf taking care of his survival, growling and menacing everyone to protect him, to ease his pain... without a word, they had been communicating for hours, it seemed to the former Sekihoutai.

So where did it go?

Am I messing it up by just talking to him?

Damn fuck, clutching his fists, his eyebrows met determinedly, the beautiful, chocolate-colored eyes sparkling, I'm not giving up!

There's a path for the warrior, then, there has to be a path for a lover!

I'll get down to that romancing- crap, and I'll show him!!

                                                             ~#~

"Yo, rooster-dumbass, you'd better get your ugly ass out of sight, the boss's coming back tomorrow", a walking heap of sword-like junk, towered by a huge, blonde hairdo cried out for Sanosuke, lazily dozing off close to the police headquarters, pretending to be a ready- to- be- hired- craftsman... his trade being "organizer of financial business" as in paying visits to remind people how bad debts can become to the health.

Strangely, he was never really hired... but this was all about camouflage, alright?!

So this was the note Saitou promised to deliver... returning on the 14th of February.

His special day to get that darn romancing thingy working!!

Hitting his knuckles repeatedly, a dangerous glance enlightening his adorable beautiful eyes, he flashed a menacing grin.

High time to gather some advice!

                                                             ~#~

Close to midnight, modestly drunk due to serious headaches and the nagging feeling of being a complete failure, the spiky- haired fist-fighter combed his eerie mop of dark brown locks, sniffing the cold night's breeze to tenderly sober up... cautiously, just a little bit, as not to waste the money's worth of sake he had been drinking since sundown.

What was he supposed to do with all the strange ideas and concepts haunting his poor, spinning brain?!

They were incredibly alien to his roughly cut- out picture of wooing another living being... you couldn't count Hajime Saitou, the evil enforcer and wolf of Mibu to the humankind entirely, now, could you?

Anyways, just a few hours to snore off, then he would get kick-started!!

Said and done!

                                                             ~#~

Another couple of hours later, Toukyou, busily buzzing capital of the reformed Japan...

A district close to the borders, a very decent neighborhood, consisting of merchants and well-off craftsmen who had their stores down the inner circle of the city.

Small, old- fashioned houses, providing its inhabitants with small patches of green, a huge bathhouse at the far end of the street.

Futons and laundry winking the kind breeze, whispering of spring and a new beginning.

The murmur of a small river close to the roadside, a natural plumbing device flushing hummingly down the sea.

Suddenly, a low series of very colorful cursing interrupted the idyllic display of peace.

A very well-known, amiable, velvety voice hissing and yelling, rapidly followed by the sound of glass- breaking, shattering of several items, the ripping hiss of torn cloth, splintering of wood...

A pitiful, desperate cry of utter frenzy.

Then, there was silence.

                                                             ~#~

Coming home meant to Hajime Saitou, former third captain of the Shinsengumi, last and stubbornly invincible member of the wolves of Mibu, to walk straightly into his office, to kick ass and snarl at people.

There was always a reason provided to justify his utter anger... and he was constantly annoyed by the world in general, the abyss like stupidity of his co-workers, wondering if there was some strange humored deity sending along the worst examples of humankind to assist him.

Making his appearance would render the hell- machine of his secret police department to run smoothly again, there was just a sulphurous glare to spare, a wrinkling of utter disgust displaying on his thin lips, and people readily fled in terror to get busy, down to their tasks.

Well, at least they were working... you couldn't expect the bunch of idiots to use the few brain cells on- board, being already in use to find the way to the office in the morning.

Shuffling the accurately built columns of papers, inquiries and reports, he sucked greedily at his cigarette, once again vowing that he would get rid of this stinky and sticky attitude.

A true warrior could only afford one vice... and he had made up his mind about the vice he would adopt...

Just a few hours left to leaf through the piles of rubbish molesting his desk... frowning and glaring, the infamous wolf paced up and down his office, reading high speed and feeding the fireplace.

                                                             ~#~

Sneaking soundlessly through the empty streets, finding his way without a miss in the semi- darkness, the wolf was roaming his city, finally on his own to change and have some peaceful hours of sleep... about 4 in a row, not listening to the constant bickering and complete nonsense of his nut-case-underlings, the permanent idiocy of humankind being shoed out... in his dreams, he used to be hunting, charging, racing free like the wind, untarnished, never captured, victoriously living the glorious life of an untamed spirit.

But right now, pestering his mind to ask for peril, the last of the notes on his desk occupied his pondering.... what were they taking the secret police forces for?! Some kind of zoo keeper?!

Just because some high- ranking moron lost his damn pets, everyone went berserk looking for those animals?

Maybe they were tired of spending their time with a dim- witted, fat, drooling monkey man?!

He would have a word with the commissioner about that stunt... and that fat jerk would meet his nemesis the same night... a nightmare coming alive to make him never again forget who was in charge of everything around here!!

Grabbing the hilt of his trustworthy katana, he glared into the darkness, licking his dry, thin, maliciously smirking lips... he damn missed the sting of nicotine, civilized poison to keep his senses on alarm, the human part of his nature keeping the feral beast under control.

Else, I would have a nice chat with that imbecile fool right now.... his fingertips tightened along the hilt, bending like claws.

Sometimes, his anger really got overwhelmingly strong, baring his sharp canines, sulphur sparkling from the icy flames within his amber eyes.

»Loosen up, 'Jime, fuck the morons, move your stiff ass over and kiss me already!«, a cheerful, mocking, very temptingly humming- along voice in his mind chuckled, causing the sinister, evil enforcer of his justice to grin.

He felt like listening to the brash, boasting crow of a certain rooster... who needed sleep anyways?

~#~

I'm going to be stabbed... not the way I hoped for, but, fuck!, who cares... at least, it's him, offing me...

I'd rather be drunk beyond sense... but this is cowardly, so forget it!

This time, he won't make fun of me, he'll be just.... disappointed... yeah.

Looking at me with this patient, tired, cool amber stance.

Maybe not even growling at me... just turning and leaving...

He was so downcast-ed, he didn't care to notice anything around his pitch-black world of misery.

                                                             ~#~

This....

was...

really....

pissing....

him..

off.

Carefully entering his modest house, the wolf sniffed the cold air, his senses on alert, registering everything around in far distance, radiating danger... but there was nothing to be detected....

Somehow, this trying day would not end...

Crossing the floor to the rear entrance, he found a familiar silhouette, cowering in the darkness, legs being tightly kept in a strong embrace.

Even the infamous spiky strands seemed to sulk...

"Would you care to explain to me what happened to my house, Sanosuke?", he pronounced every syllable with caution, reminding his pulsing vein of constant anger to stay put... there would be a reason... hopefully...

"...youseeaboutouranniversaryIaskedabouttheromancestuffyouknowlikegettingcosy

andthingsandIjustworkalongandIthoughtmightbeagoodideatoprepareyourhousebut

sinceIgotnokeyIsortabrokeinandIdidadamngoodjobwhensomefuckingmonkeyscame

infuckingwentcrazysoIwaschasingthemoutandeverythingbrokesomehowdontknow

IjustfuckingfailedyouIknowImacompletelossadamnidiotroosterheadedfool...", the constant ranting, self-accusing went on along the same tracks in high speed, barely audible muttered while the downcast fist-fighter crumbled with every passing second.

"Sanosuke, would you mind getting up and face me."

Not a request, an order... and the fist-fighter's limbs were already conditioned to the wolf's severely controlled snarl, moving on their own.

Tilting his head up, Sanosuke opted for attack... being the best defense... in his case the only one.

His chocolate-colored eyes tinted with sparkles of bitter cocoa, the fists clenched, he yelled with increasing fury, a stance ready to rumble.

"You see, I really tried my best, worked my ass off to act along those fucking romance-concepts, but I failed! 

Thanks to some fucking, damn monkeys!!

Can you believe it?!

Yeah, I know, a lame excuse, but they were around, giving chase just the moment I was ready with the preparing!!

Who keeps some fucking damn apes anyway?!

So I sorta went after them, and I got really furious because those darn beasts ruined just about everything, but they escaped!!

And now, it's all over!!

I messed up!

Again!!

So fucking what?!

Stab me already, I can't stand the fucking romancing- shit anyways!!

I'm not made for this crap, fuck!!"

Taking a deep draught of air in, about to curse and continue his angry, desperate yelling, the swordfighter grabbed the hem of the famous "wicked"-jacket, drew the startled man to his lips to end the litany of failure and misery with a fervently kiss.

Finally, close to suffocating, he decided to step some minor instances from the flushed rooster, still clutching the hems tightly with his left hand, glaring into the adorable eyes of the former Sekihoutai.

"Now, I'd prefer you stop waking the neighborhood and get inside.

There is some serious cleaning up to be done."

Dragging Sanosuke by his jacket, he shut the rear sliding door to search for an intact lamp, alighting the oil... and sniffing suspiciously.

"Do I smell.... honey? Vanilla?", he inquired, his amber eyes narrowing.

"Oh heck!", throwing his arms up in resignation, Sanosuke sank to the ground, moping.

"See", a random gesture encircling the whole place, "I asked about everyone how to get that romancing-thingy working... you know, like charming your way to the heart of your lover and stuff", a remarkably rosy color embellished the roosterheaded man's cheeks while he averted his gaze to the ground.

"So I kinda raised all the cash I got to buy some fancy cloth in those colors", directing to a ripped heap of crimson, lilac and deep-orange cloths, "you know, for de-co-ra-ti-on, then, someone said something about am-bi-en-ce, so I got some smelly oil- stuff… and there happend to be sweets, but you see, the damn apes munched them, they just went beserk afterwards and tore everything down..."

"I can see that, obviously the sweets were better stored with them than us", Saitou remarked in a deadpan voice, ruffling the eerie mop of dark brown locks leisurely.

"You think they were poisoned?!", getting up, the fist-fighter stared into the cold, amber eyes, "hey, I paid for them!!

I'll complain tomorrow and there will be serious ass kicking if this is true...!", he swore, getting angry within seconds, close to stomping off.

"Sit", the wolf ordered, pushing the younger man to the ground, inspecting his former very plain kept house.

"Yeah...", scratching his nape, Sanosuke flashed a lopsided grin of shame, "I'm sorry for breaking in... I almost got past all your nice traps but somehow I ruined that sword- thing on your wall..."

Honesty was just a damn-nagging thing, Sanosuke sighed, sulking again.

"I see", patiently crossing the room, Saitou glanced at the remnants of the former decoration of his living room.

"Rooster, get up and grab some of that horrible colored cloth laying about", he ordered quietly, unfastening his katana.

Within some minutes, the shattered decoy- sword- piece, strangely colored ripped cushions, smelly ingredients of constant headache and other broken, splintered, ruined goods were collected, the bundle neatly knotted and expelled.

"There's something still smelling rather badly...", Sanosuke eyed the infamous hunter cautiously, he was so desperately trying to be polite and understanding that it became utterly ghastly.

"Say... 'jime, you're o.k.?", carefully stepping closer, he inspected the officer suspiciously, "you're giving me the creeps with that all-nice-restricted-acting going on..."

Meanwhile Saitou had detected the origin of his sniffing... "damn fucking ape shit!!", he roared, the amber eyes igniting furiously, "now they're done!", snatching his katana, he sped up to leave his home, ready to make ape-shish kebab.

Sanosuke, gaping, found his reeling ratio and followed the wolf outside, recklessly charging for the back of the raging man, encircling the slim waist while soothing in sultry tones, "com'on, *Jime, I'll clean it up, just don't go 

berserk, will ya? Calm down, for the Gods' sake, they're gone for hours!

Hey, wolfie, please, snap out of it, all right? I'll take care of your house, promise!"

Growling, his fangs slicing the open air, the officer glared into the darkness, hissing peril to the wicked, messing monkeys, "I fucking hate those creepy creatures! I HATE them!"

"Sh, alright, got the message", Sanosuke, never giving in to the lulling sensation of feigned calmness, showered kisses at the exposed nape and strong jaw lines.

"So, we better find a place to hang out, right? How about my home?", he suggested, trying to switch to another, less explosive subject, snuggling to the lithe back of the tall, muscled man.

"Hn. No."

"Well, what do you have in store, then?", carefully slipping his tight embrace, he watched Saitou smoothing minor crinkles out of his uniform, adjusting his katana, combing the ivory shock of shiny hair.

"We'll have a little stroll. I need to walk", the wolf decided, pacing off in up-speed tempo.

"Be right after you", extinguishing the last candle and shutting the front sliding-door, Sanosuke galloped to keep up, his fists as usual pocketed deep down his worn-out trousers.

They marched about an hour, leaving the city borders, Saitou's sharp snarl keeping the guards on alert, not to interfere with the furiously glaring man, the corners of his mouth wrinkling dangerously... and nobody dared to stand at the receiving end of the perilous smile of the wolf of Mibu.

Sanosuke kept his quiet, sighing once in a while.

He had tried about everything to charm his lover-in-spe, memorized the whole stuff about romancing, and some fucking bunch of infernal apes came along to ruin his endeavor... he still wondered why Saitou had not slapped him, or beat him up, or stabbed him repeatedly.... he himself would never ever have believed such a nonsense story...

Leaving a path, a few steps into a forest, there happened to be a clearing, a secluded place, not to be seen by passersby.

The wolf halted, knelt to fetch a waiting bundle of cloth, spreading out a blanket, collecting some boxes with take- away- food, stored inside the soft material to keep the temperature.

"Get over here", he ordered, undressing casually, neatly folding his uniform, securely placing a small rock on the surface... in case there might be suicidal apes lurking about.

Sanosuke hastend to follow his example, kneeling down in anticipation...so Saitou had succeeded... at least he had prepared a surprise for their celebration...

"I'm sorry for messing it", the seriously downcast fist-fighter whispered, "you've provided everything, I kinda feel like shit right now...", hanging his head low, he clenched his fists helplessly.

"I disagree", the famous hunter snarled admonishingly, tilting the heart-shaped face up, to make his point right into the somber, bitter-chocolate-colored eyes.

"We have an agreement about not breaking into my house again, no pets except a certain rooster, no ghastly colored stuff, no strange smelling oils, no sweets of uncertain origin, don't we?"

Nodding, the fistfighter tried his best to crack his usual, boasting, cocky smile, failing yet another time.

Tracing the velvety, sun- tanned skin of the adorable face, the wolf grinned a malicious smile, "thanks by the way for breaking that horrible sword-piece.

A bad gift from a generous moron I did not dare to trash myself. You rendered me a very welcomed service", he breathed a teasing kiss to the gasping lips of his younger lover.

"But still, you did everything, and I...", shutting the complaints off, Saitou tackled his roosterhead companion to the ground, getting comfortable on the slender, warm, accepting body below his own, kissing the rooster to drowsiness.

"If you still feel like talking, count the stars above while I'm checking on your condition", he lured growling in deep, vibrating tones, diving under the covering blanket to make his welcome southwards.

Gasping, smiling self- absorbed, Sanosuke arched, writhed, sighed, staring at the star-spangled sky, caressing the slender, lithe man who busily explored the erogenous parts of the younger fighter's body.

Returning to the semi- darkness, Saitou sank to the side, opening the stored boxes to feed the bottomless stomach of his cocky lover, to cheer Sanosuke up, taste the delicious mixture of exquisite food mingled with the extraordinary flavored saliva of the rooster.

He could never stop himself dipping into that enticing cavern of delight, pitch some morsels, tease a little, roam the delicate skin inside, tickle and suck greedily.

Fight with a skilled tongue for domination, entwining the muscled flesh to share a unique taste.

Finally, the urgently pressing needs contented, he bent over the rasping fist-fighter, inquiringly searching the chocolate-colored eyes.

"I don't give a damn about romance, rooster, so I'm asking you if you're ready to go my way?", he dashed out boldly, more than four stubborn strands casting menacing shadows on his haggard, lupine face.

"Is this a challenge? You know, I'm pretty good at charging", Sanosuke grinned up, twirling a shiny, ivory strand around his finger, winking mischievously.

"You lost to me every time", Saitou stated curtly, "so I take the lead."

"No way!", getting up, the fistfighter glared, "we didn't spar seriously!!

So it doesn't count!!"

More glaring, baring teeth/ fangs, frowning, narrowing eyebrows, tensing muscles.

"Okay, how about a little game? Paper, stone, scissors?", Sanosuke offered, rubbing his hands. "Three rounds, what do you think, hm?"

"I accept", the amber eyes flashed sulphurous lightning.

Fair and square.

                                                             ~#~

"This day is really messed up... how come I'm losing again?!", Sanosuke shook his head in confusion, sighing profoundly.

"Well", back to business, Saitou forced his companion down the blanket again, grinning feral-ly, "you can't be a lucky gambler, if you're a lucky lover, no da?"

Blinking, Sanosuke felt the strong, calloused hands of the swordfighter racing his entire body, teasing, striking, eturning with serious interest.

"Hey, but what about you?", he finally spoke up, wondering, "how come you won? Does this mean you're not in love with me?"

Materialising on the surface, the wolf shook his head in feigned resignation, "don't be daft, rooster, if you're in love with me, I'm loved so I don't have to provide the loving, too. One of us has to be lucky to get paid and purchase food and shelter, true?!", another glare, then, he disappeared again, licking the scrotum, so deliciously smelling of chestnuts.

Writhing in lust, Sanosuke's brain shut down, hormonal meltdown ruling his body.

Breathing laboriously, the hunter enjoyed the beautiful appearance of his lover, flushed, arching, sighing his name in low tones, never letting go, asking for his utmost to please and satisfy the needs of his very own rooster.

Yeah, I'm lucky, being loved by you.

                                                                         ~#~

Thankfully, the sun decided to sleep in, snuggling as close to the surrounding clouds as the rooster to his wolf, holding tight even in deepest slumber.

As a very trained man to duty, Saitou finally bid sleep good-bye, carefully placing several limbs of his lover on the blanket to arise and stretch his slender, naked body.

There was some minor pain concerning his rear but he did not mind that much... after all, he wanted the cocky, flirting, brash rooster to match his skills in every aspect.

And the fist-fighter had done so, with enthusiasm and bravado, recklessly attacking the recent challenge.

Romance, attack like.

Smirking, he sat down next to his lover who instantly snuggled to every availably limb in close reach, humming contently.

Patting the eerie mop of spiky locks, the wolf of Mibu grinned triumphantly.

He did not miss his cigarettes for one second.

                                                                         ~#~

Amble strolling behind the unusually cheerful Saitou (both corners of the thin-lipped mouth wrinkled upwards!!), the arms crossed in his nape, Sanosuke mumbled under his breath.

"Fuck, when I clean up his house, I've to memorise those damn traps... breaking in will break my neck... and I'll have to think of a lot of other celebration days...like... worshipping of some deity?? Nahh...."

Engulfed in this urgent matter of a spicy, sexy, luring future, he hardly avoided running into the tall man.

"See that?", a sharp elbow made contact with Sanosuke's lower ribs, indicating a little, strange-looking take-away-food-store on wheels.

"Those fucking suckers of apes....", Sanosuke gasped.

Neatly arranged, hanging upwards down, ready to be served for special customers...

"Wait here", Saitou ordered, stalking over to speak in an astoundingly amiable tone to the owner, pointing out strange patches of discolored skin on the apes.

Rapidly, the cadavers were taken off, to be quickly buried nearby, deep enough to prevent other animals to dig them up again.

"Now we'll pay a visit to the owner of the store who sold the sweets", smiling merrily, Saitou winked... causing Sanosuke to hiccup in shock.

A smiling wolf, close to humming cheerfully, not a trace of anger radiating from his tense frame.... this was creepy!!

Speeding up, the fistfighter dared to spare another glimpse... strange... the famous wolf of Mibu smirked mischievously, reminding his younger lover of himself... self-satisfied and ready to rumble.... and damn stunning!!

Turning a corner to take a shortcut through some backyards, Sanosuke caught the right arm, spinning the officer around, smiling into an equally smug grin, he kissed Saitou greedily, pinning the lupine man to a wall.

Finally, almost without any air, he let go, blinking in bliss, licking his lips.

There was something he needed desperately to be asking, once again.

"Say, *jime, wanna marry me?"

                                                             ~#~ End~#~

 

 

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