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| Zha by © biidsis She came to me on a day when i was at my lowest. Things couldn't get much worse. My Dad had come to see me and saw how we live now. Things have changed so much since i got hurt. I could see it broke his heart to see us this way. As he was leaving i could not meet his eyes, i couldn't stand for him to see the pain in them. While we were saying goodbye, we noticed a squirrel. she seemed to be having a seizure or maybe it was rabies. Dad stepped out of the way, startled and leary. i backed up a bit, i was not sure what to expect from this little one. Would she leap at us or try to attack? Well anyway, it got our minds off the sadness of our own situation and allowed us to be human again, for just a minute. Dad got back in his truck and went on his way, pondering. After he left, i watched again for the squirrel, i didn't see her again and assumed her time would be short. The next morning when i came out to start my day, i opened the blinds and here was this little one again! i watched her for a while. Everything was a struggle for her, she seemed to list to the left when she moved, and could not sit up to eat like the other squirrels. She fell over often and i could see that taking to the trees was no longer an option for her. So i decided to help the best way i could. i moved things around on the deck to give her some cover from the wind, i put food and water out for her and waited. After sometime, i saw her coming across the field, her gait was kind of a weird little hop/run that made her appear to be dancing. i watched as she helped herself to the food and water, she seemed happy about the water, as though it would save her some steps. The next day as i began to get to know her, the Spirits came and told me that her name is Zhawenjige, which means be kind-hearted. She came to teach compassion and so she did. They told me her time would be short and to learn as much as i could from her. I noticed that the other animals picked on her and stole food from her, as the humans did to me when i got hurt. They singled her out and she became a target. She learned to come for food after the others had gone, so i learned to set her food out just before she arrived. When the Crows discovered this they followed her, harrassing her. i learned to hear their caws and knew she was coming and i rearranged the deck again. This time so she had cover from them as well. The crows got to know me too, when i appeared it was time for them to leave. i never had to shout or flail my arms at them, they knew. One morning i saw them beating on her! I was so upset i stepped out on my deck, still clad in nightwear. They saw me and left her alone. She was beaten so badly that it took her some time to recover. i wanted to shoot the crows and they knew it. But i did see her get a few licks in before they flew off. She taught me about survival in an unkind world. When i sent up smoke, i called to Eagle, Hawk and Jay to protect her. The next morning when i came out, the Crows were at it again and now there were three of them. i stepped out and again they left her alone. She was on her back trying to turn herself over and i knew to let her do this on her own. Her trust of all creatures was shattered. Just as my own was once. The new crow was cocky, he decided to hit her one last time while she was down. i saw him coming and knew he would not fear me this time. He came in for the kill. Suddenly, from out of nowhere came Jay! He flew in and cut off this dastardly crow. Zha was able to right herself and recover in the corner cover i had provided for her. This day i learned about how the weak are picked to death and seperated from the rest. But from Jay i learned that prayer is answered. Zha recovered and i spent many days watching for her, discovering things about her and myself. The other squirrels had taken to picking on her as well, but she never gave up. She knew this corner of the world belonged to her. i learned that she liked cookies, i learned that crippled and blind, she still managed to survive and it gave me pleasure to help her. All the while i knew her time was short, still i hoped. She helped me to make a new friend, i call her Squirrel Woman. She is an Elder who cares for the little creatures. Brings them food twice a day, i've have learned to watch for her and to ask about her if i have not seen her for a while. In watching her, i learned that in this ever changing and sometimes unkind environment, to look for the kind-hearted. To know they are there and will help us if we ask. I learned to Honor our Spirit brothers and sisters and they will show us the way. Zha's time was indeed short, after the first snowfall i did not see her again. She taught me about the harshness of life. The next time i am segregated for my disability, treated like i am not worth the effort, i will remember Zhawenjige and know that i am worth it. i will know that there are kind-hearted Spirits out there and i will ask for their help. i learned that i can make a difference, even though it may be tiny. i hope to carry Zha in my heart the rest of my days and carry her message to my brothers and sisters. Life does not have to be cruel, Zhawenjige, be kind-hearted. Thank you Zha !! bangan, biidaaban (be peaceful, a new day comes) <biid> |