Ramadan, A Time To Heal
by Shahina SiddiquiRamadan is the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, when adult Muslims who are in good health fast from dawn to dusk, refraining from eating drinking and marital relations. This blessed month is often seen and understood as a time of heightened spirituality, a time to discipline ourselves, a time to control our worldly desires and a time to increase our worship and charitable deeds.
Let us however consider some of the psychological benefits of fasting and the emotional healing that can be attained during this month: “O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you so that you may love self- restraint”
[Surah Baqarah, 2: 183].
As a spiritual counselor, I have found the term self-restraint is actually the basis for attaining an equilibrium of mind, body and soul that enhances our emotional health. While in a state of fasting, the individual places an emphasis on worship and charity above worldly desires. This gives life a sense of purpose that motivates and steers our thought process to a constructive and hopeful frame of mind.
We learn that we do have control over our desires, that even the most diehard habits, such as smoking, can be restrained through little effort, thereby enhancing our self image and empowering us to tackle life’s difficult moments. Traditionally, Ramadan has been a time when Muslims have resolved their interpersonal conflicts. The emphasis is deflected from oneself and one’s desires to the Creator in the spiritual sense, which in turn translates into charity, compassion, and good behavior.
Thus, the mutual misgivings and grudges that were before all too consuming in relationships, are now perceived as petty and unnecessary. The Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) advised his wife Aisha to increase this prayer during Ramadan: “Oh Allah (God), you are the Forgiver and you love to forgive, so forgive me”. The emphasis over and over again in many ahadith (sayings) of the Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) pertaining to the benefits of Ramadan is on forgiveness. Since we all aspire to be forgiven by our Creator, we also take to heart the advice of our beloved Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) that in order to receive forgiveness from our Creator, we must also forgive our fellow human beings. This motivates us to make amends and to seek forgiveness, thereby freeing ourselves from the stresses of unresolved conflicts. The ability to forgive and to let go of hurts and grudges puts us on the fast track to healing. Our energies that were wasted on nursing old grudges are now directed to positive and constructive ends.
Psychologically, the person that is consumed with guilt and is perhaps in a state of faith crisis because he has transgressed the boundaries of his faith also find solace in the absolute belief that when he fasts during the month of Ramadan in sincere devotion to his Creator, his sins will be forgiven. As stated by Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) “Whoever fasts during Ramadan with faith and seeking his reward from Allah, will have his past sins forgiven”. What a soothing balm for a troubled soul and what a hopeful mindset. Healing is achieved as the possibility of a fresh start is internalized.
Fasting is also a time of deep reflection that forces believers to rethink their goals and to see in proper perspective their priorities without the distractions of material needs. Believers who sincerely fast are most amiable to self-analysis and self-improvement and are thus more likely to help themselves and their situations. I have seen clients who come for spiritual counseling that are fasting, are usually more willing to compromise, take responsibility and focus on making necessary changes. Fasting is the month when Muslims believe that Allah opens the gates of Heaven, closes the gates of Hell and chains all the devils. This forces us to see our weaknesses as our own and not as the whispering of the devil (since the devils are chained, we are forced to take responsibility for ourselves).
This reflection is both at an individual level and at a collective level, as happened during last Ramadan within the Muslim communities across North America after the September 11 tragedy. This collective soul searching is a useful and therapeutic exercise that enables the Muslim community to heal rifts, to consolidate differences and to assume responsibility.
One of the emotional needs of human beings is to belong, and this is satisfied through special nightly communal prayers offered during the month of Ramadan. This brings people together to worship and share in each other’s accomplishment of having exercised self-restraint. The Islamic greeting of Assalaamu Alaikum (peace be with you) is accompanied with an embrace and an added greeting of “Ramadan Mubarak” (happy Ramadan – may your fasting benefit you). This physical contact of brotherhood and sisterhood between friends, family and strangers nourishes the need to be held and helps diminish feelings of loneliness and isolation.
The joy a Muslim feels during this month is not hollow or superficial, but firm and tangible that animates from the depth of her soul to reach the forefront of her consciousness. The hunger pangs are a reminder of the delights of Heaven, every prayer is a prayer of repentance, every act is an act of charity, every word is a word of comfort. And when at the end of the day the parched lips taste the sweetness of a date or first sip of water, gratitude bursts forth that compels the believer to fall prostrate in all humility in front of Allah, the Merciful, the Creator of all that is in the Heavens and the Earth. Thus a new attitude is born, one of humbleness and resilience.
We recognize our dependence on the Creator. Despair is shunned and the power of God is recognized. Control tendencies are discouraged and submission to God’s will is accepted. This in turns foster healthy cognitive patterns that discourage and deter both victimization and control fallacies.
Ramadan is becoming more and more an opportunity for Muslims around the world to repair their damaged spirits, to heal their wounded hearts and to strengthen their weakened souls. It is a unique retreat taken while fully functioning in our daily lives to help heal and to initiate a path to recovery that brings our mind, body and soul in sync with our Creator.
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