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Love Is Magic
Love is magic, pure and sweet,
for it alone makes life complete--
Love turns all the commonplace
to matchless beauty,
joy, and grace,
And when there's something
hearts would say,
Love, like magic, shows the way.
Remembering our children on a daily basis, in a special way, can involve helping others. Our members have decided to combine their efforts in our newest project to insure others that we can be a "Legacy Of Love" in our quest to encourage our family, friends and the world to remember our special angels. The most effective way to accomplish this is to become special messengers.
How will you remember your child?
JR's Mom & Dad writes:
Now that we have started the New Year I find myself wondering in what special ways can I remember JR this year? Here's some ideas that I came up with:
1.) By sharing of myself with other children who need me. By volunteering my time to read books to children in schools, libraries, hospitals, or shelters (homeless and battered women's shelters)
2.) By visiting nursing homes and asking to visit with the people there who might not have any visitors dropping by. That way I can listen to someone who needs to be listened to, just as all of you here listen to us when we need it.
3.) By bringing some extra flowers with me to the cemetery to decorate some of the vases and headstones that no one is around to visit anymore. By remembering others loved ones perhaps someone will also remember our son's area there when God finally calls us home too.
It's funny but the more we think about the best way to remember our son, the more we see that it always seems to involve helping others.
I guess when you come right down to it, that's what our loved ones would appreciate us doing the most.
We help with the Mother's Against Drunk Driving Victim Impact Panel. Our son's story was just recently shared through it this past Holiday Season as a way to hopefully cut down on the Holiday drunk drivers. We also did some media interviews for their cause as well.
We donate items to our church in his name. And at Christmas time we always adopt a lot of Angels in his memory.
We try our best to help the various shelters in our area with donations of money as well as food products. Being that JR and I spent a lot of time in battered women's shelters (this was before JRs new Dad!) we always try to give back to them for showing kindness to my son and I in our time of need. I know if JR was still here he'd be trying to help them now too.
We are in contact with several Congressmen in hopes of getting stiffer drunk driving hit and run laws on the books so that no other family has to suffer the injustice that we are now going through. You see, if they ever catch the guy who killed JR, all he will be charged with is Failure To Render Aid which carries a 7 to 10 year sentence, but he'd most likely get off with probation. All because he left the scene of the accident! We don't want another family to have to go through this ever.
Janna writes:
I purchased some business-sized cards from another support group. Thought it was a neat idea. . . called the 'kindness project'. It simply says 'this random act of kindness is done in the name of our daughter Kere Shipman Collins'. So whenever the opportunity comes up. . .i.e. standing in line at McDonalds one day, I bought the meal for the family in front of me and gave em a card. The little cards have brought the most unbelievable responses. I agree it is helping others. We created Christmas stockings for 10 children in need. We also adopted one needy child and provide coat, shoes, and a toy for him.
Judi wrote:
I online adopted a little boy, and his name is Tylor. I send him gifts on holidays, write him letters (snail mail and e-mail) I do little things for him to give him encouragement and to let him know someone cares. Here is a web page I made for him, if anyone would like to meet him. He is a sweetheart!
Sonya wrote:
1) I send money in Memory of John to a local Children's home and always extra to apply to Christmas dinner for the children. My entire family has become involved with the annual Antiques Auction with the Home by giving donations and attending the auction. These funds are used for the education of the children.
2) I volunteer to help at the Missing Children's Help Center in my city. There is always work to do getting out posters. I operate The Official Website of Sabrina Paige Aisenberg, a missing baby as well as a limited Missing Children's page. I have big plans to add all Missing Children from my area on this page.
3) I give all of my old clothes to the Abused Women's Shelter in our area.
I never did any of these until John died. Now I go out of my way to try to do my part in helping others. In fact, I really get a lot of enjoyment out these activities and really feel good about myself, which is so important now.
Look at the card I made
Norma Jean writes:
There are so many things we all try to do in our children's memory. I do things through our church and even "tried" to start a support group but being in a small southern town has it's down times. It seems that people do not like to let other people know how they feel during the "Grief" time in their lives, but none the less has this stopped me from "trying"? I also have put an awareness on violent crime in our cities and how the families of victims "Survive". We all could go on and on, but time is so valuable just do what feels good to you. Since Todd's death, I have committed myself to be more alert as to my daughters feelings and help as much as possible through these days of grief...unlike me, my children do not talk about Todd's death in a calmness.
Remembering Todd in so many ways...online memorials...bibles bought for church in his memory and baskets at Christmas for officers on duty...so many other things going on with me that I guess you could say everything I do is in Todd's memory...I was not an active person any where except church before Todd's death, but losing a child brings so many things to surface that it seems everything we do is in Todd's memory. I have done numerous newspaper interviews on the grief of losing a child and in losing a child to homicide...I only hope that at least a little helps others in their time of need..Todd loved helping others and I suppose that is my source of energy these days..in knowing I can help.
Karen McCombs says:
My main way of remembering Jamie has been in the area of victim's support and victim's rights. I started a memorial fund in Jamie's name. The money has been used to help finance a victim's support group in Greenwood in alliance with the Victim's Assistance Dept. here. We did not have one before. Our group started 2 months after Jamie's death. I also shared some of the money with a family this Christmas to help them give their children presents because they had problems and couldn't afford presents. It helped me to share Jamie with them in this way. I am also in the progress of doing a report on the discrepancies in the amount of reparation for victims and what is paid on prisoners. I intend to have a bill before congress to change this. Also, I am a volunteer for MMIAS. This is the best way I can think of to remember Jamie, by doing what I can to help new Moms and to support and encourage all the Moms. I'm sure as I get further along in my healing, more ways to help will come. The things closest to my heart and that helps me honor Jamie most is doing what I can for other victims and our rights.
Deb Alleman wrote:
Since Cole died I have become involved in promoting organ and tissue donation. I have become a volunteer for LifeSource Upper Midwest Organ Procurement as a public speaker, speaking as a donor Mom and sharing our donation experience with the general public as well as healthcare workers. In July of this year with Sonya's help I created a webring for Donor families and transplant recipient families in order for them to be able to share their loved ones life with others, to support one another, to also promote organ and tissue donation and educate the public on donor awareness. I have also created "Heaven's Rosebuds" a memorial site to remember and share your Angels with others. I wish that I had the time to do more, but working full-time makes it hard. I hope that these things that I have done and I will do, will help bring a little bit of comfort and support to others through this journey of grief which we all know is a rough road to travel. I have since become more of a believer in the Lord and find myself praying more than ever asking the Lord to send His love to comfort and support grieving families and asking for His healing strength to those who are not well. Without our belief in the Lord and life ever after, I do not believe that I would be able to face each day if I didn't believe that there is a Heaven and our Angels are there, watching over us, our own special Guardian Angels, and someday we will be able to share in all the glory of the Lord and the Heavens. Until that day, I pray that the love of your Angel will sweetly enfold you, comfort and hold you. God Bless you all.
I believe that "Legacy of Love" is perfect! It sums up what we are doing in memory of our Angels. After all, it is their Legacy that we are carrying on.
Stephanie Shue wrote:
I look at Joseph's pictures often. We visit the cemetery whenever the kids ask to. I have also put a website on the internet. I also donate money to a ministry that helped me.
Joan Gilbert wrote:
Since Jill's passing in August, I have been lighting 16 candles (one for each of her 16 years we were blessed to have her with us physically) in her bedroom and her flower garden. She had a flower garden that she had placed little angels around plants. When she became ill with lymphoma in June, I decided that the day she came home I would place candles around the angels. She was never well enough to come home again and so in memory of her, and for the rest of my life, I will light those candles even if the rain and snow blows them out. You see, my daughter collected angels and also lit candles in her bedroom every night. This is my tribute to her.
Michele Stuer wrote:
Although I am still in the beginnings of the grieving process, I feel that I keep James' memory alive by talking about him to anyone who will listen. I also have started a photo album/scrapbook of him. I show it to anyone who shows an interest. There are no projects or organizations that I donate time or money to. I have started to contact the local funeral homes telling them to give my name and phone number to any newly bereaving parents. I have also supplied the hospital where James was born with the various web sites that offer support. I guess that being able to help others with their loss(es) also helps me.
Libby wrote:
I feel like I have a mission now. It's as though Justin is asking me to donate my time and energy into making people aware of organ donation. I do a lot of volunteer work for the local organ procurement agency. I feel like he is proud of me. I don't try to talk people into donating....just letting their loved ones know their wishes....it saves the family from having to make at least one of those difficult decisions.
Molly Offnick wrote:
I have never been able to show any pain about the loss of our daughter, so I have done nothing other than make a dedication on my webpage. And only then did I do it, because this group taught me that you will never get over the loss of a child. Life does go on but you will not forget.
Connie wrote:
My webpages are the main way I keep my child's memory alive! That and the fact that I speak her name to anyone who will hear it! I try to let everyone know about how special her short time with me was! We have helped with the SIDS Foundation and given contributions in her name! The fact that I am able to help other Mothers through their time of grief by my own experiences makes me feel very good! That is all I ever wanted to do after I lost my child because I had no one to turn to and I want other mothers to know that they were not alone! Now thanks to technology I am able to do that!
Jan wrote:
Helping other moms, consoling, helping those going through terminal illness, volunteering for walk-a-thons, for leukemia, heart fund, cystic fibrosis, etc...
Patty Cannon wrote:
We held a memorial service and planted a maple tree in our yard. We keep a blue ribbon tied to the tree and have a stone placed under it with a special Bible verse. We decorated our Christmas tree with angels, and many friends have given us angels that we have set up in our home. Beckie helped us create a webpage Baby Cannon. A friend had a Bible placed in "Baby Cannon's" name through the The Bible League. I have been able to help other women in our church/community who have experienced miscarriage deal with the grief, depression, etc. Several women have also emailed me and we have been praying for and "counseling" one another through MMIAS.
Christi Allard wrote:
I talk about her every chance I get! I also recently re-joined a list for grieving moms hoping to give some encouragement and comfort to those whose grief is still fresh. Making a dedication page for my daughter with numerous resources and other helpful items has helped some other grieving parents out there. I would love to do more if I only had the time! One last thing is I wear a pendant with her birthstone in it and everytime someone comments on it--I get another chance to tell them about my little girl and keep her memory alive.
Linda Mayor wrote:
Working on a Web Memorial site really helps me share my daughter's life with others, to remember the precious memories and what has helped me to go on now. Visiting other parent's sites and the contact with these special people have touched my life greatly.
I am just beginning in a volunteer program that is involved with kids and their families while in the hospital. My daughter spent lots of time in our local childrens hospital and I want her to know her life made a difference then and still does now. I feel Her courage and compassion whenever I bring a smile to even one little face.
Lisa Sargent wrote:
I have made a webpage in memory of my boys and we also will have two trees planted in the spring at the hospital where I work and where Connor was stillborn. We have also donated books to Labor and Delivery in memory of our boys. I'm so glad I have been able to share what has helped me most and hopefully made someone else's journey through grief a little easier.
Stella wrote:It makes me feel good knowing I did everything I could to help my son and his wife out in their times of need. I gave him love and comforted him and tried to keep his spirits up after the wife left him taking their 2 week old daughter away without any warnings she was leaving him! Little did she know that when she walked out of his life, he would NEVER be a part of his daughter's future.
Debbie wrote:
I have established an organization that continues to seek answers as to why so many children in our nation our getting cancer. I do this in memory of my "Special Angel" as a promise I made to him just before he went into a coma after a 3 1/2 year battle with a very rare cancer. What makes me feel good is that he gave me a very special gift of determination and to never give up the fight and never say I can't.
Lisa wrote:
One of my brothers had the same angel medal with Mackie's name and dates on the back created for everyone in our family (from my dad to the smallest grandchild). We all wear them on chains next to our hearts. I use a small gold butterfly stamp whenever I sign my husband's and my name to a card. I also stamp the back of EVERY sealed envelope with this stamp. We are donating books to Mackie's school library in her name. We also have donations sent in her name to the Children's Fund at the hospital where she spent much of her short life. We hope to do more, as we can, in the future.
Mitz Lindquist wrote:
I always have a lit candle by Andy's picture. At Christmas I just have a very small Remembrance Tree. We just put on decorations that remind us of Andy. ex. Bill Elliott race car, truck, cows, pigs (He loved Animals and Nascar). We do not have any organizations in our area, that's why you are so important!! I'm hoping to help others in our town, but I'm not sure where to start. I have begun making plans in my head to have a candlelighting service in December. I found out about that 2 days before. The thing that makes me feel best, is my daughters little boys talking about Andy. Marty (5yrs) old remembers how much Andy loved him. Jack Andrew (4) is a little iffy. Rian (2) was denied that chance as it has been 1 year & 5 months since Andy died. Also, Andy's friends stop by or leave things at the cemetery or along the road. It shows me how much all these kids are hurting. I had one prominent lady from town that I do not know really well, approach me one day to tell me she has seen many of our towns children killed, but she has never seen a death affect so many people, young and old alike. He was and still is so very special.
We also have a scholarship set up to give out on Graduation night to a student in the Vo-Ag program. All of Andy's insurance money was set up for Lisa's 3 boys for their future and we keep one set aside for their birthday and Christmas presents, because he loved buying things for them and babysitting them.
Kathleen Buenemann wrote:
We started a scholarship for the music department at the school our daughter graduated from. Besides 2 cash awards handed out each year, to two seniors....they use any remaining money to purchase more instruments for the band. The music department puts a plaque on each instrument purchased in her name.
Tammy Novak wrote:
The hospital where I delivered my son has a trust fund set up to help bereaved families pay for the funeral expenses involved in burying their newborn babies. I contribute to that fund. I also have my 2 older children who were so looking forward to being able to buy gifts for their baby brother last year at Christmas. They were very excited when we got an angel from the angel tree that would have been Andrew's age, as well as their own angels. I run another support group online, and I have also made a memorial album for Andrew. I have tried to take the pain of losing my son to help others deal with their pain. I stay active in a support group near me, not by attending, but by making sure that if I can do anything to help, they know to contact my family. I am still looking for other things to do, and I honestly expect that I always will.
Diana McConnell wrote:
We donate an annual scholarship in Kelley's memory to her school. We also donate money annually to the Girl Scouts, who built a picnic shelter at the Girl Scout camp in Kelley's memory. We also help out at the Girl Scout camp at least a couple times a year to help get the camp ready for spring and winter. We participate in our local Bereaved Parents chapter. I think helping and sharing with other bereaved parents also helps keep our children's memory alive. We've been on TV once talking about our Bereaved Parents chapter. We donate money to Kelley's school class each year for her birthday and Christmas. We try and go see Kelley's classmates once a year, usually for her birthday. There are so many ways for us to keep our children's memory alive. I'm always looking for new ways to do so. I look forward to the new Causes Board, which will give us even more possibilities! Thank you for making something like this possible.
Yolando Moore wrote:
Kimberly Ann Moore Memorial Scholarship Fund We established Specifically for her high school and her college If she can't get the education we were going to give her, someone else from her high school can be helped.
Kaija wrote:
I donate money to the SIDS foundation and help to spread further the newest information.
Renee wrote:
I love to hear my children speak about their brother. They are able to remember the great times they shared with him. This helps me to remember the times when Joshua wasn't ill and was a normal little boy.
I am in the process of donating books to our school library so that other children who check out the books will keep Joshua's memory alive as well. Some day I know my younger children will check out the books and hope it will bring a smile to their face knowing Joshua may be gone but not forgotten.
BethAnne Leathers wrote:
I have a Memorial Wall in which I have created to help the healing process. I have two pages dedicated to my two lil angels. I donate my time to the Local SIDS support network and I publish on the web grief articles to help others as well as a SIDS info page. I also have poetry pages for bereaved parents to share in.
Patricia Mack Regan wrote:
By telling people about how Joey died, and urging them to wear helmets or make sure their loved ones wear them. When I receive email from people thanking me for helping them become aware, and how my advice helped save someone's life, I know then that my beloved angel did not die in vain. My family is currently establishing a fund in my son's name for a scholarship in the school he went to.
Dottie Littrell wrote:
I encourage and support organ and tissue donation. My child would have needed a kidney transplant if a neurobiological disorder had not claimed his life. I made the decision that he be a donor and feel some comfort in knowing that he was able to contribute to others a better and longer life. Because of his donation: infants with heart disease were given new heart valves burn patients got new skin; blind people see and individuals needing bone, muscle and carthlidge live better lives. My hurt continues and I miss him so much but there are other parents who still have their child because of my loss.
Diane Sipe wrote:
I just finished the 2nd backgound set. This is my special project. Making backgound sets. What makes me feel good, is keeping Ethan's memory alive by passing the message on...keeping baby safe in the crib!!
Lisa Thiessen wrote:
I keep my angel's memory alive by sharing his brief life with the world on his web page. And as a result of Derek's death I have been able to help other newly bereaved mommies to travel through their own grief.
Kendra Beevers wrote:
I have a memorial for my child and try to help other parents. I feel good about myself because I know that I can go on living and be the best mom I can to my surviving children.
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