Footsteps (Part Six)

Diclaimer in Part One-a.

*****

"Well, you have *a lot* more room now," Willow mused as she looked around the lobby of the Hyperion.

Buffy nodded. After Jakob had been released from the hospital, they'd had a long talk. Together they had decided to move out of their tiny apartment and into the Hyperion with Angel so Jakob could get to know his father. That wasn't the only reason. Money was becoming short and Angel did own an entire hotel. They all had their own private rooms, it would have been easy to avoid one another if they wished, but so far they'd stuck pretty close.

It was both satisfying and a little disturbing for Buffy to see Jakob and Angel together. She had known the entire time Jakob was growing up that they were alike, but sometimes it was unnerving to witness them together. Aside from their obvious physical similarities, their brains seemed to process information in the same way. They would laugh at things Buffy couldn't possibly fathom as humorous or say things in tandem.

It wasn't all smooth sailing. Jakob had been without a father for a long while due to Riley's lengthy illness and subsequent death. He'd been used to coming and going as he pleased without having to answer to any male authority figure. He was rather upset to learn that Angel knew what he was up to almost before he had a plan formulated. But much to Buffy's surprise, Jakob didn't balk too much at the parental concern from his father. He tried to take it in stride, something he'd never done for Riley.

Buffy understood why Jakob was infinitely more patient with Angel's meddling in his life than he'd ever been with Riley's. She knew both from observation and from the notebook she'd read that Jakob had felt deeply disconnected for most of his life. He had been adrift, without any sort of anchor. His entire life, he'd been intensely aware of the differences between himself and his supposed father. He didn't have that problem anymore. A lot of people would come to the Hyperion looking for Angel and Jakob often heard the phrase "you must be his son". For someone who had felt strangely out of place, being able to look at his father and see exactly where he got a lot of his physical, as well as mental, traits was oddly reassuring.

He wasn't alone.

And Angel didn't judge him or try to mold him the way that Riley had. After the horrible experience with his own father, Angel was lenient and patient. Buffy was amazed at the way he openly doted on the boy. Most of the time that she'd known him, Angel had been a closed book. You could never tell what he was thinking. He wasn't that way with Jakob. He took Jakob with him on most of his cases and spent long hours going over his school work with him. Jakob humored Angel's interest in his school work though he didn't need any help. Unfortunately, when it came to basketball, Jake was on his own.

*****

Angel walked into the Hyperion's lobby and found Buffy and Willow lounging on a couple of couches, deeply engrossed in conversation. They didn't know he was there, and he took a moment to watch them, or rather her. He never got tired of looking at Buffy. She was still the most beautiful and amazing woman that he'd ever met. The fact that she had given him a son never ceased to humble him beyond what he thought possible.

Having the odd sensation of being watched, Angel turned his head and found Jakob staring at him with an amused look on his face. Angel smiled and the boy returned it before retreating back to the basement where he claimed to be working on some project.

Angel wondered what exactly Jakob thought of him and Buffy. Not that they were a couple or anything. They were ... friends. Friends who lived under the same roof and who shared parenting responsibilities for their son, but nothing more than that. After she and Jakob had moved into the Hyperion, there had been no repeat performances of their shared sleeping arrangements, or their sentiments in the courtyard. For the most part, they tried not to touch. It was too much of a temptation, a very familiar sensation for them both.

Angel admitted to himself that they were both worried about what Jakob's reaction would be if their relationship became something more. He seemed to be doing fine, but his episode with Darla was testament to the fact that he had a lot of problems that he was adept at hiding. Neither of them wanted to see a repeat performance, so they tried to keep everything on an even keel, and that included their friendship.

*****

"Did Willow head back to San Francisco?" Angel asked, as he entered the courtyard just before ten o'clock the same evening.

"Yeah," Buffy said with a sigh. "The last of her lecture series was today so it will probably be a while before I see her again."

"You miss her," Angel commented, taking a chair next to the former Slayer.

"I do," she admitted, "but when I was in Iowa, I would go years without seeing her. Funny that now a month seems like a long time."

"Funny," Angel parroted. He'd gone eighteen years without seeing Buffy and now he was certain he wouldn't be able to function if he couldn't look across his coffee at her every morning.

Angel watched as Buffy reached behind her and slipped on a light jacket she had draped across the back of her chair. It was late May, but the night was refreshingly cool. Her body still moved with a grace that left him longing to see more. He attempted to quell his reactions.

"So what will it be tonight?" he asked.

The question was part of their nightly ritual. Regardless of everything else going on in their respective lives, they always met at this spot at this time and he always asked the same question.

"Unexplained knowledge," she said with a small smile.

Angel cocked an eyebrow. Every night Buffy told him one story about his son. Some of the stories were cute, some were funny, some were horribly upsetting. He couldn't tell from her expression what kind of story the night would bring.

"He was ... I don't know, seven, maybe eight years old. I had this crate of old books from Giles that I kept stored in my closet. There were some other things in it too, stakes ... other things. Apparently Jakob got bored and started rooting through all the closets. He found the crate and dug everything out of it. I don't know why that particular item grabbed his attention. I would have thought he would have been more interested in Faith's knife ... "

Buffy was quiet for a moment, considering what to say next. "I was making dinner and he walked into the kitchen and held out his hand and asked me if I knew anything about the item he was holding."

"What was it?" Angel asked, concerned because she seemed to be getting upset.

"My silver cross," Buffy said, looking him in the eye. "The one you gave me the first time I met you. The only thing of yours I kept when I married Riley."

"Jakob found it?"

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Apparently he was certain it had some significance and he was trying to figure out what it was."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that it was very special and that he didn't need to be playing with it."

Angel nodded. "What did he say?"

"He just looked at the cross for the longest time and then he looked up at me and said 'my father gave it to you'. I didn't know what to say. He wasn't asking me, he was telling me. I just nodded and told him he was right."

Angel blinked several times. "You mean he ... knew."

"Yes," Buffy answered without looking at him. "It was one of those weird little things he did that I always tried to pretend he wasn't doing. He was really unsettled about it and started to get really upset. I asked him what was wrong and he said 'I asked Riley about it and he said he's never seen it before'."

"What did you do?"

"I don't know. I freaked. I told him to go outside and play and I sat down on the kitchen floor and bawled my eyes out. Then I packed up that crate and hid it where he couldn't find it again," she said honestly. "Not one of my more fantastic parenting moments."

Angel took several deep breaths and then looked at his mate. "You did the best you could have, Buffy. How could you have had any idea that he would know things like that? You are a really good mother."

With a snort Buffy replied, "Yeah sure. I was a *great* mom. I knew all about supernatural phenomena, and there one was, staring me right in the face and I refused to acknowledge it. I wanted Jakob to have a normal life so badly that I did everything in my power to ignore the fact that he wasn't."

"You were trying to protect him."

Buffy nodded. "I was," she admitted. "Look at all the good it did him."

"Don't say that."

"I should have told him, Angel. He *knew*. I should have just admitted it, left Riley, let you and Jakob get to know each other and maybe ... "

"Don't do that, Buffy. Don't waste time wondering what could have been. You can't go back."

Buffy sighed, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. Angel ached to comfort her, but he kept himself firmly planted in his own chair.

"It's just that you're *so* good with him, Angel. And the way he reacts to you ... it's completely different from how he was with Riley. He tries so hard. If you two are this close now, just think how different things could have been if you'd known about him when he was younger."

Rising from his chair, Angel walked so that he was standing directly in front of Buffy. He sank down onto his haunches and clasped her hands in his own. She met his gaze with sad eyes.

"Don't torture yourself, Buffy," he said quietly. "You did the best you could. You did what you thought would be best for him. I won't lie and say that I don't wish I could have known him when he was smaller, but do you realize what a miracle it is having him now?"

Buffy nodded, pursing her lips together tightly to keep them from trembling.

"I love him, Buffy. I love you. We're all just going to have to make do with the time we have now."

She smiled, agreeing wholeheartedly with Angel's words, but knowing full well that *they* weren't taking advantage of the time they had together. They spent most of their time denying the fact that they were still intensely attracted to each other ... and it was getting harder every day.

*****

Opening the door to the basement, Buffy yelled down, "Are you going to Charlie's tonight?"

There was no answer. She knew that Jakob was in the basement, but he was probably so engrossed in whatever it was he was doing he hadn't heard her. Rolling her eyes, Buffy took a deep breath and yelled her question louder.

Again no response. She loathed to invade his private space, but she was beginning to get a bit worried. She had no idea what her son spent his time doing in the basement. Needing to reassure herself that he was alright, she descended the stairs, making as much noise as possible.

Looking around the large space as she reached the bottom of the stairs, Buffy did not understand it's appeal. It was dark, dusty and the centerpiece of the room was a furnace. Deferring to Angel's wishes, however, Buffy hadn't said anything to her son about his choice of sanctuaries. If he felt this suited him, then so be it. In one corner of the room, he had a workspace, complete with the new computer Angel had purchased for his son. Jakob was currently reading something off of the display, completely lost in his thoughts.

"Jakob," Buffy said loudly, startling the boy who jumped slightly.

"Sorry," he replied, "I didn't hear you come down."

With a frown, Buffy said, "I stood at the top of the stairs and yelled several times. I didn't want to invade your privacy."

Jakob shrugged. "It's no problem."

Buffy surveyed the room again with her eyes. "What do you spend all your time doing down here?" she asked, trying not to sound judgmental.

"I'm just ... researching things," he answered vaguely.

"Research?" Buffy asked, cocking an eyebrow. The last time Jakob had done "research" he ended up with Darla. "Is it something I could help with?" she asked.

Jakob chewed on his bottom lip in a nervous gesture. "I ... maybe," he said with a big sigh.

Buffy began to get worried, it was obvious that Jakob was upset about something, or at least worried. "What is it?" she asked, going to stand next to her son.

He nodded to the computer display and she began to read what he'd been looking at. Her eyebrows raised in shock.

"Have you been working on this the entire time you've been down here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even. It wouldn't do Jakob any good to think he was upsetting her.

"Well ... um ... yes," he finally admitted.

"Why haven't you said anything? I thought we agreed to talk to each other more."

"I just ... I'm scared I guess," he said, not looking at her.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy said, "Sweetheart, you know how much Angel loves you. Why are you worried? I think he'd be very excited about this."

"I know," he said, flustered. "It's just that ... I don't know . Riley always did stuff for me because he thought it was the right thing to do ... I just don't want Angel to do anything because he feels obligated."

Buffy bit down hard on her lip to stop it from quivering. Sounding much more composed than she felt, she said, "Then I suggest you talk to him about it."

*****

Buffy almost jumped out of her skin as she turned on the light in her suite of rooms and found Angel sitting at her kitchen table later that evening.

"What are you doing sitting here in the dark?" she hissed, holding her hand over her rapidly beating heart.

It took him a moment to look at her, as if he'd been completely lost in his thoughts. Some part of Buffy's brain registered the fact that she'd received exactly the same reaction from her son in the basement not four hours earlier.

"Thinking," he said absently.

Finally calming, Buffy took a seat to join him at the table. "Thinking?" she prompted.

With a nod, he answered, "Jakob talked to me today about the possibility of me adopting him."

Buffy looked at her mate. Of course she knew what Jakob had spoken to Angel about. "What do you think about that?" she asked evenly.

"I think I don't deserve it," he said bluntly. "But I think I want it more than I've ever wanted anything in my life."

"What did you *tell* Jakob," she asked pointedly, knowing that often times Angel's thoughts and actions were in conflict.

Angel smiled, knowing full well what she was thinking. "I told him that I would love to publicly acknowledge him as my son, but that I needed to speak to you about it."

Buffy looked at him incredulously. "Do you really think I'm going to say no?" she asked.

"No," he said with a snort, "that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

Cocking an eyebrow, Buffy asked, "What *do* you want to talk to me about."

"Last names."

"Last names?"

"Yeah," he said. "I mean now that I'm human, I use Jacobson, but it's not *my* name. It was convenient. I used that alias on jobs when I was still a vampire. It doesn't have any particular significance. Plus ... you know ... Jakob Jacobson. That's a horrible thing to do to a child."

"Well," she said with a frown, "you do have a name. Don't you? I mean you were human once. I'm assuming you had a name then."

Angel laughed as he looked at his mate. "I wasn't hatched, Buffy. Of course I had a last name ... but ... that's not me anymore. I don't use those names. I don't know who that person was anymore, it's certainly not who I am now."

"So you don't have a last name," Buffy mused, "big deal."

Angel frowned. "It is a big deal, Buffy," he said seriously. "I want my son's last name to mean something, and I sure as hell don't want it to be Finn," he grumped.

Buffy stifled a laugh. She loved it when he got overly possessive.

"So," she asked, "what do you suggest we do?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"You want my advice?" Buffy asked.

"No. I want your permission."

Her brow furrowed as she looked at him. "My permission for what?"

"I thought ... maybe we could use Summers," he said quietly.

Buffy didn't say anything for a long while. "You want to change Jakob's last name to Summers?"

"Yes ... and no."

"Huh?'

"I want to change Jakob's name to Summers ... and mine ... and yours," he said, watching her closely for a reaction.

Buffy swallowed convulsively. "You want-" she began, and then stopped as her voice cracked. After clearing her throat, she continued, "You want us all to change our names to Summers?"

Angel nodded. "Yes. It would have more meaning to me than the last name I use now."

"And it would make us all a family?" Buffy said, reading the meaning behind his words.

"Yes," he said bluntly. "I know I haven't said much about it lately, but that's what I want. I want us all to be a family. You and me and our son."

"I would like that," Buffy said quietly.

"You would?"

"Yes."

*****

Buffy looked at her mate's frowning face as she handed him a box of cereal. As usual, they were all having breakfast in the Hyperion's large kitchen. She gave Jakob a "what's his problem" look. The boy shrugged evasively.

"Problem this morning?" she asked lightly.

"No," Angel said gruffly.

"What is it?" Buffy asked, not willing to let it drop.

"Gunn just made a comment last night," he admitted.

The previous evening, Gunn and Angel had taken Charlie and Jake to a basketball game. She shot her son a look and found him trying hard not to laugh.

"What did Gunn say?" she asked Angel.

"Nothing," he said with a grunt. That was apparently the end of the conversation as far as he was concerned.

"What did he say?" Buffy asked, turning to her son.

Jakob's eyebrows shot up. His mother was asking him to rat out his father. Angel shot him a "talk and die" look that Jake chose to ignore.

"He said Dad sounds like a porn star with his new name," Jakob said, unable to hold in his laughter any longer.

Buffy frowned and then said aloud, "Angel Summers ... " Several seconds later, she joined in the laughter. "I know," she said, trying to keep a straight face. "I know that legally it's Liam Summers, not Angel but ... "

Angel was torn between joy over the fact that his son had just called him "Dad" for the first time, and the urge to yell at both of them for having a joke at his expense. He settled for scowling.

"Oh come on," Buffy said, poking him in the arm. "Angel Summers does kind of sound like a porn star name ... or a feminine hygiene product."

Buffy let out a yelp as she ran for the door with Angel in quick pursuit. She may not have been a Slayer any longer, but she was still very spry. With ease, she vaulted over a sofa in the lobby and made a dash for the front door.

Unfortunately, Angel too had retained a good deal of his preternatural grace and speed. He caught her firmly around the waist before she made it to the steps. With a grunt, he pulled her back tightly against his chest, using his arms to pin her to him.

Things suddenly weren't funny as Buffy felt Angel's obvious arousal pressing into her backside and his hot breath on the shell of her ear. He too had forgotten about playing. He relaxed his grip enough to turn her in his embrace. Before she knew what was happening Angel's lips captured her own in a searing kiss that shook her to the core. She responded with wild abandon.

"Hello! Child present!" Jakob yelled from the kitchen doorway where he was still holding his bowl of cereal and making a face of disgust. "Being permanently scarred by your PDA!" he added when they didn't immediately stop.

Angel pulled back with an amused look on his face. "I love you, Buffy *Summers*," he said quietly before releasing his mate.

*****

"She likes dancing," Jakob offered as Angel drove his son to Charlie's for the evening.

Turning his head, Angel gave his son a confused look. "Huh?"

"Dancing. You know, music, dim lighting ... and flowers too."

"Your mother likes dancing and flowers?"

"Yes," he said brightly.

"Why are you telling me this?" Angel asked.

"Mom was always griping to Aunt Willow about the fact that Riley never took her out. She said that was one of the things she missed the most from Sunnydale, being able to go dancing."

"And you think I should take her dancing?" Angel asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, it would be a good place to start. And don't forget the flowers."

"Start what?"

"Dating. I don't know what you two are waiting on. It's pretty apparent you're still way into each other," Jake said incredulously.

Angel laughed aloud. So much for being worried about what Jakob thought.

"What?" the boy asked.

"Nothing," Angel said in amusement.

*****

Buffy gaped at the beautiful bouquet of wildflowers waiting for her on the table in her small kitchenette. They were clearly visible without the lights on due to the dozens of candles burning in the room.

"What's the occasion?" she asked as Angel entered the suite behind her. She knew he was responsible.

"Someone suggested that maybe I should give you some flowers and take you dancing," he said vaguely.

"Someone?" she prompted, grinning at him.

Angel nodded. "Your son."

Her brow furrowed. "You're sure? He's about 6'3", dark hair, answers to Jakob?"

"Yes, Buffy, Jakob suggested I give you flowers and dance with you," he said with a smile.

A matching smile spread across her features. "I never thought he was listening to anything I said," she admitted quietly.

"He's *very* observant," Angel said with a wry smile.

"What do you mean?"

"He wanted to know why we hadn't started dating sooner. As he put it, we're still 'way into each other'."

Buffy laughed lightly and then sobered. "I love you, Angel," she said quietly.

"I love you too," he said, leaning in to kiss her.

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