Diclaimer in Part One-a.
*****
It was near sunset when Buffy woke feeling oddly rested. She'd been
completely exhausted before falling asleep, but she knew that wasn't
the
only reason she'd been able to sleep so well. Angel's still sleeping
form was curled tightly around hers, spooning her from behind. In
spite
of her absolute terror over Jakob, she felt safe in a way she hadn't
felt in decades with a sense of hope she feared lost forever.
They were nestled snugly under the covers of his bed, their hands
intertwined on her stomach. They hadn't spoken in eighteen years, but
their intimacy was instinctual. They were each other's other halves,
soulmates. Buffy had been married to Riley in the eyes of God and the
law. They had slept next to each other every night for seventeen
years. They had countless sexual encounters. Yet, their entire
relationship still never came close to reaching what she had lying in
bed fully clothed with her sleeping Angel.
Angel completed her. Angel was the father of her only child. Angel
was
her heart. Riley just passed the time. It had been so much easier to
justify the fact that she'd stayed with Riley when she hadn't seen
Angel
for years. Looking at him now, she knew she'd been living a lie.
She'd
convinced herself that it was best for Jake, that he needed a solid
home
environment far away from demons and the supernatural. How wrong she
had been. Jakob was supernatural. It was in his blood. He had needed
his father, his *real* father, not a stand-in, trying to "do the right
thing" who had absolutely no chance of ever relating to the boy.
Buffy sighed heavily as she tried to figure out just how many people's
lives her short sightedness had destroyed. The sound woke Angel who
seemed to read her thoughts and hugged her tightly in his forgiving
embrace. Buffy blinked to clear the tears. She wasn't going to cry
anymore.
"So is your girlfriend going to walk in and catch us?" Buffy asked
bluntly.
"There is no one in my life. There hasn't been since you."
Turning in his embrace to look at him, Buffy said, "But you're human
now, you can ... "
"It was never about sex, Buffy, " Angel answered seriously. "I loved
you and I couldn't be with you, so I'm alone."
"Couldn't be with me ... ," Buffy mused. "If you couldn't be with me,
how do you explain the fact that we managed to conceive a child on the
day after Thanksgiving by arguing with each other in your office in
front of Cordy and Doyle for five minutes?"
"You know it happened that day?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes, Angel," she replied firmly. "I know it happened that day."
"It didn't," he explained with his usual cryptic nature, "at least not
the way you remember."
"Oh," she said with mock understanding, "well, then, why don't you
clear
things up for me?"
*****
Faith watched the couple seated across from her in the limo. Jake was
staring blindly out the window, oblivious to everything. Darla was
grinning like a cat in cream, idly playing with the hair on the nape of
the boy's neck, whispering to him in a quiet voice the brunette
couldn't
make out even with her vamp enhanced hearing. Faith wanted to shove
Darla away from him, but she didn't dare. She didn't know what Darla
might have already done to him, especially given her fondness for magic
as a means of manipulation. Deciding to wait it out and see what Darla
had up her sleeve, Faith tried to find another way to keep the elder
vampire away from the boy.
"So I've been replaced?" Faith hissed, deciding to play spurned lover.
"You've found a new Childe?"
Darla shot her a guarded look. "No," she said slowly.
"Really?" Faith asked cattily. "Looks like you're getting awfully cozy
with junior there."
Darla smiled. She loved to be wanted. The idea of her Childe being
jealous delighted her to no end. She slowly made her way to Faith's
side, gently caressing her face as she slid into the seat.
"I'm not replacing you ... yet," Darla whispered throatily as she
captured Faith's lips in a hungry kiss. "You know so many more tricks
than he does. Perhaps we can train him ... together."
*****
Angel watched Buffy's face carefully. She had yet to react to his
recounting of the day that wasn't. He still held her tightly, partly
for comfort and partly because it would make it easier to pin her down
if she decided to try and rip his head off. He'd been assured by
Wesley
several hours earlier that her Slayer strength had diminished to
regular
human proportions. He could physically outmatch her if he needed to -
theoretically.
Buffy, however, wasn't reacting the way he had expected. There was no
rage, no angry shouting. She was lying limp in his embrace, staring at
the ceiling with a look of consternation on her lovely face.
She had spent a whole day with Angel that had been swallowed by time.
She couldn't remember the conception of their child. The part of her
that was angry at her lack of memories was quelled by the part of her
that was deeply grateful The Powers That Be had taken *only* the
memories.
They let her keep Jakob.
For years she had wondered if fate had simply taken pity on her and
given her the ultimate gift, a piece of her lover as a substitute for
Angel himself. She hadn't imagined anything close to Angel's
explanation of events. She had been certain that Jakob was a miracle.
She conceded that learning he had been conceived with lots of sweating
and grunting, didn't make him any less special. In fact, the
revelation
made Buffy feel normal in a way she'd never felt before. No divine
entities had altered her body or her destiny. She had simply been a
normal human girl in love with her normal human boyfriend and they had
created a child with their love.
"I know you're human, Angel, so you might as well stop holding your
breath before you pass out," Buffy said calmly.
Angel's gaze slitted as he looked at her. "You're not mad?"
She turned her head to face him. He was only inches away on the
pillow,
watching her carefully, nervously. The urge to press her lips to his
was almost overwhelming, but she refrained.
"It's a little late for recriminations, isn't it? It happened eighteen
years ago," she said quietly.
He didn't look convinced.
Buffy sighed and began to explain, "I'm not seventeen, Angel. I've
known since Jakob was born that he was your son. The forgotten day is
the missing detail, but I got the big picture a long time ago.
Besides,
who am I to blame anyone? I knew he was your son and yet I kept him
away from you because I was so hurt by you leaving. I understand now
that you were only doing what you thought was right, and it wasn't fair
of me. I denied you your son and I denied Jakob the chance to
understand who he is because I thought he needed to be 'normal'."
She took a deep breath and continued. "In a way, I did the same thing
to him that you did to me. I tried so hard to protect him that I ended
up hurting him. I wanted to keep the darkness away from him so badly
that I denied it existed. I denied what was happening to him. I made
him feel like a freak. Worse, I tried to shove him into a life he
didn't fit in. I tried to make him and Riley forge a relationship."
Angel was grateful he was human, because if he'd been a vamp, he
wouldn't have been able to tamp down an instinctive growl. He took
several deep breaths and then asked, "What exactly was Riley and
Jakob's
relationship like?"
Buffy smiled. She could tell Angel was being overprotective of the son
he'd only just found out he had. That boded well for the future. She
only hoped Jakob would be half as receptive as Angel.
"It wasn't good," she said bluntly.
Angel scowled and Buffy backtracked. "I don't mean that the way it
sounds. Riley tried, he really did. He did everything he could for
Jakob, but it never worked. They were too different. Riley expected
things from Jakob that were unrealistic given his personality. There
was a lot of conflict between them - nothing physical. Riley expected
Jakob to be a Boy Scout, and the more he expected the more Jakob
rebelled."
Angel listened carefully. It was a very familiar story. Hauntingly
familiar.
"Riley loved Jakob and he did his best by him. I know now that Riley
knew Jakob wasn't his son. But in defense of him, he never said
anything, never treated him as anything other than a son. Even when
they weren't getting along and Riley was so frustrated, he still loved
Jakob."
Buffy almost winced at the look on Angel's face. She knew it would
have
been so much easier for him if Jakob and Riley had just hated each
other, but they hadn't. Things had been strained, but underneath all
the tension, there had been some genuine affection.
"Jakob wasn't as forgiving as Riley," Buffy continued. "I think he
always knew Riley wasn't his father and he never forgave him for it.
He
used to call Riley by his given name about as often as he called him
'dad', even when he was just a little thing. Jakob isn't the easiest
person to get along with. He's very stubborn," she said looking
pointedly at Angel. "He's a littler version of you, almost exactly.
He
even broods like you. You have no idea how much that used to freak me
out. He's always been like that."
Angel smiled. He knew Buffy was blaming a lot of Jake's less desirable
personality traits on him, but it was a wondrous concept. *His son*.
Buffy studied his face carefully, her expression softening.
"He smiles like you," she said softly, then her lips creased into a
frown. "But he also happens to smile about as often as you do.
Sometimes I just want to kick him in the butt for being so serious all
the time."
Angel watched as her composed facade cracked. "I just want him home
safe," she whispered, tears in her eyes.
"I know," he said softly. "We'll find him, Buffy. I promise."
*****
Faith helped Darla usher Jakob into the exquisitely decorated lobby.
They were in Wolfram and Hart's main office building. Faith had no
idea
why, as far as she knew, Darla and the lawyers were still on the outs.
This wasn't good. Faith had to get Jake out of here, but that would
entail defying her Sire. The turned Slayer had never outright
disobeyed
Darla in the past. She didn't know how far reaching the Sire/Childe
bond between them was, or if she would even be able to resist Darla.
Faith silently bemoaned her lack of insight into Darla's scheming. She
knew about her plan to try and get Angelus back, but really couldn't
figure out how Darla hoped to accomplish the task. Faith had been sure
it couldn't be done, but she knew Darla. If it was possible, she would
find a way.
Minutes later they were ushered into the reception area of Lilah's
lavish office. Darla immediately took Jakob into an adjoining
conference room. Faith followed on their heels, ignoring the frazzled
receptionist's demands that they stop.
"I'm not going to do anything to him," Darla snapped at the brunette as
Faith closed the door behind herself.
"Then you shouldn't mind if I watch," Faith countered, hoping her anger
was coming off as jealousy.
Darla hissed, but did not order her to leave the room. Faith watched
as
she moved the boy's zombie-like form to a nearby chair and pressed him
down into it.
"Keep an eye on him," Darla ordered. "I have business to see to."
"What kind of business?"
"Don't worry about it. I won't be long."
*****
"What was it like?" Angel asked quietly.
"What?" Buffy asked, looking at him.
"Everything. Being pregnant, having him, watching him grow up."
Buffy let out an amused snort. "That's quite a bit of ground. Where
do
you want me to start?"
"Wherever you want," he answered seriously.
Buffy smiled and thought about it for a minute or two.
"He was a big baby," she finally said. "I mean *really* big.
Pregnancy
was awful. I looked like a puffer fish. I was huge. I couldn't wear
shoes I was so swollen. He was born in August and it was *so* hot. I
was miserable. The doctors were freaked because I'm so little. They
wanted to induce my labor almost a month early because they were
worried
I would have problems delivering."
"Did you?" Angel asked, really having no idea what the implications
would be either way. He knew nothing about the birthing process, well,
if you disregarded the conception.
"I didn't," Buffy said. "I was confident that everything would work
out
fine. I was in this big 'Mother Earth' stage. I figured being a
Slayer
and naturally more primal it would be a breeze."
"Was it?"
Buffy laughed. "No. It wasn't. There were all sorts of
complications. The doctors were right."
Rolling over onto her back, she pushed the covers down around her
thighs. She was still dressed in a lightweight knit shirt and a pair
of
stretchy black pants. Pulling the waist of the pants down, she showed
Angel the long scar just above her bikini line.
He stopped himself from touching it.
"I had to have Cesarean. So much for 'Mother Earth'. I was in labor
forever and then they finally just had to cut me open. But he was
fine," she said with a sigh, righting her clothes. "Aside from the
fact
that he was so huge. The doctors kept looking at me like they were
trying to figure out how on Earth he was my kid."
"He was ... okay ... in other ways, though, right?" Angel asked.
"What, you mean because his parents were such normal people?" Buffy
asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Angel frowned at her.
"He was ... fine," she said thoughtfully. "He was always a little
ahead
of other kids his age, but nothing that stood out. He never liked to
draw attention to himself. And he was so sweet and even tempered when
he was little. It wasn't until he got into junior high that we started
having problems with him."
"Problems?"
"It started out as friction between him and Riley, and then it just
became friction between him and everyone. He had some bad friends and
a
chip on his shoulder the size of Texas. He wasn't *bad*, but he had so
much going on that no one understood, not even me. He hurt one kid in
a
fight pretty severely."
Angel nodded slowly, internally blaming himself for all of the misery
Buffy and Jakob had faced.
"I should have acted sooner," Buffy admitted. "Riley was sick and I
felt so guilty. I couldn't leave him. Jakob's behavior just got worse
and worse. Then ... we moved here and he was so much better - at least
until this whole Darla thing."
*****
"My, my," Darla cooed, "you're not getting any younger are you, Lilah?"
The lawyer shot her an icy look. Her age was a sore point to be sure.
The fact that Darla would be eternally beautiful did not serve to
elevate her waspish mood.
"What do you want?" she hissed. She was decidedly unimpressed with
Darla's unannounced arrival in her offices.
The senior partners would not be pleased to know that Darla was in the
building. It was bad enough that she was still animate, they didn't
need to be reminded of that fact.
"It's not about what I want," Darla clarified, "it's about what we both
want."
"And that would be what?" Lilah asked as she studied her watch, trying
to anticipate when the security guards would arrive. She needed to be
working, she was busting her ass trying to get things in order for a
division review.
"Angelus," Darla purred.
"Angelus," Lilah parroted with a laugh. "Unless I'm mistaken, Angelus
is gone for good. Angel is human and he can't be vamped again. No
more
Angelus. Did you miss the memo? Maybe you're the one getting old,
Darla. I know you still look good, but it seems the mind is starting
to
wander."
Darla scowled. Lilah's pissy mood was getting her down. "Angelus is a
demon. He is eternal, but right now he is without a body to animate."
"Nice try," Lilah said smugly. "Angelus may be floating around some
demon dimension right now, but the second he's pulled back here to
inhabit another hapless victim, he's a clean slate. He'll have to
start
all over again with absolutely no memory of his former self."
"That is not *strictly* true," Darla countered. "Wolfram and Hart has
the power to pull him as he is back into another body on the mortal
plain. I'm undead proof."
Lilah studied the vampire for a long moment. "The power, yes, but why
would we want to? The tribute required to pull off something like that
is astronomical, and all of the effort would be for nothing. Demons
don't like to be pulled into new bodies after they've gotten used to
one. Odds are it wouldn't work at all the moment the demon realized he
was no longer in Angel's body."
"Not if you have the suitable host," Darla said cryptically.
"I don't have time for this Darla," Lilah bit out. "I just told you it
won't work unless you have Angel's body and we both know that Angel
can't be vamped again, so you have no plan."
"I have Angel's son," Darla said smugly. "It won't be a perfect match,
but I think it will be close enough."
Lilah was quiet for a long time as the words sank in. "Angel has a
son? Where?" she asked incredulously.
"He's waiting in your conference room," the vampire answered wickedly,
her lips curling back into a sinister smile.
Lilah made a face of disgust. "Angel's only been human for twelve
years, *please* tell me you're not a pedophile now on top of being a
soulless demon whore."
Darla glowered at the mortal. "The boy is almost eighteen. I don't
know how he's Angel's, but he is. He looks just like his father, tends
to have the tortured soul bit down pretty well too. *And* the best
part
... his mother is a Slayer. He'll be perfect."
*****
Faith paced nervously around the room, looking for any telltale signs
of
hidden cameras or mics. She couldn't find any, but that didn't
necessarily mean anything. Unfortunately, she had to take the chance.
She pulled her cell phone out of her backpack and dialed Angel's
number.