Diclaimer in Part One-a.
*****
The next afternoon, Jake sat alone on the couch contemplating a myriad
of events. He'd been planning on staying at Charlie's all weekend, but
had come home early. His mother didn't know about the change of plans
and was out looking for a job. He knew she only did things like that
when he wasn't around, not wanting to worry him with financial
concerns.
Jakob's mind wandered back to the previous evening. Charlie knew
something about Angel, but he wasn't going to spill. Why? Darla also
knew something about Angel, she'd made a point to call him that the
previous evening.
Jake didn't like Darla, and he didn't trust her, but he got the
distinct
feeling that she would tell him who Angel was when no one else would.
Why she would do that remained to be seen. He doubted she had any
altruistic intentions. Her information would come at a price.
*****
"You want to know about Angel?" Darla asked Jake as she sat down on the
couch next to him. Just as she'd predicted, he'd made his way to her
lair in search of answers.
"You know who he is," Jake said, it wasn't a question.
"Yes," she said, her lips pulling back into a smile. "I know who he is
... and was."
Jake studied her carefully. She wasn't bluffing, she also knew a lot
more than she was saying.
"Is he my father?" Jake asked, unwilling, and unable, to draw it out
any
longer.
"Yes," she answered softly. "You are so much like him, Jakob. Did you
know that? So much potential."
Jake swallowed. He had to admit to himself that he'd known that truth
for weeks. He hadn't known who Angel was, but something inside of him
had always know. Now the knowledge had crystallized, become an
unavoidable reality.
"Are you a vampire?" he asked, studying her face.
"Yes," she answered honestly.
It was all falling into place. "And Angel was a demon hunter."
She smiled again, quelling the urge to laugh outright. This was going
to be so much fun. Leaning towards her prey, she gently caressed the
side of his face, not missing the involuntary flinch on his part.
"Angel was a drunken, whoring Irishman the first time I met him," she
said softly. "That was right before I turned him, more than two an a
half centuries ago."
Jake felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. Angel was a
*vampire*. How the hell was that possible?
Noting his peaked complexion, Darla continued like the finely tuned
predator she was, "He was one of the most vicious creatures to ever
walk
the earth, Jakob. He was a legend among legends. You should be proud
of your heritage. He is known by the name Angel, but more often than
not, he is referred to as Angelus. You shouldn't have any trouble
finding the information you are looking for."
*****
Jakob stumbled blindly down the hallway towards his mother's room.
Buffy was still out, he didn't know where. Heedless of the mess he was
creating, he pushed her clothes aside and pulled out the crates of old
books again.
As he skimmed through them, he wondered how he had missed it before.
There were scores of references to the demon Angelus. He admitted to
himself that he hadn't been looking for a demon named Angelus, he had
been looking for a human named Angel. Too bad.
Darla hadn't been embellishing. The atrocities committed by Angelus
were beyond words. His heritage. Hundreds upon hundreds of victims
killed in a myriad of gruesome ways. At the bottom of the pile, he
came
across one of the journals of his mother's watcher and leafed through
it
once again.
The diary wasn't complete, a large portion of it had been ripped out,
but there was enough for Jake's needs. No mention of Angel, but
Angelus
had definitely been in Sunnydale. He had murdered Giles' girlfriend
and
left her body for him as a morbid present.
The demon had spent months tormenting Buffy and her friends, including
a
young cheerleader named Cordelia Chase - Charlie's mother. No wonder
his friend had paled at the mention of Angel. He'd known the entire
time who the vampire was and that Jakob was likely his son, but he
couldn't tell Jake the truth. How do you tell your best friend that
he's a monster?
A monster like his father.
Inside the journal was a tracing of the tattoo on Angel's right
shoulder, it was a perfect match for the one Jakob had seen in his
dream. Something inside of him was bound to the demon, part of it
even. How could he fight something like that?
Jakob was suddenly seized by guilt. For weeks he'd been thinking his
mother tricked Riley into claiming him as his son, but it seemed the
truth was much more horrifying. Surely the creature had raped the
Slayer, that was the only explanation. She wouldn't have been
willingly
involved with such a vicious monster. There was no mention of any sort
of relationship between Buffy and Angelus, but a large portion of the
text was missing. Perhaps his mother had been too ashamed to even
allow
the words to exist. Surely she'd destroyed part of the journal in an
attempt to avoid the horrors of her past.
Jakob cradled his head in his hands. He was like this creature. Buffy
had said as much on the phone to Willow. Darla, the vampire who had
created Angelus, echoed the sentiment. The people in Huxley had been
right. Jakob was a monster, or at least on his way to becoming one.
No
wonder Riley had been so disappointed in him.
He was an abomination.
Jakob was suddenly assaulted by memories of the scar on his mother's
neck. She'd always brushed him off when he asked about it, saying
she'd
had an accident. She hadn't. It was a vampire bite. Angelus had
marked her in yet another way. Jakob felt as if he'd been marked as
well. All of the darkness inside himself that he constantly tried to
hold at bay rose in an overwhelming tide, and he was helpless to stop
it. Images of Steven Simms lying broken and bleeding on the ground
filled his mind. He was an animal.
*****
Fate had a way of making sure certain things happened in a certain
manner. To that end, Cordelia Chase had agreed to accompany her
husband
while he made a quick stop by the office to check on a few loose ends.
It was more convenient that way.
The Powers That Be had no intention of allowing the seer to hurt
herself
when she was hit with the vision, and since Angel was the only person
who ever managed to catch her before she ended up on the floor, it was
imperative he be present. He didn't disappoint.
As Angel cradled his unconscious friend, he frantically addressed Gunn,
"I thought she didn't have visions anymore."
Bewildered, Gunn answered, "She doesn't ... I mean she hasn't for
years. But ... even when she had them all the time, they weren't this
bad."
The force of the vision had rendered Cordelia completely unconscious.
"She's still breathing, and her pulse is returning to normal," Angel
said as he held his fingers to her throat.
*****
Buffy was worried the second she reached the front door and found it
slightly ajar. Long repressed Slayer instincts returned immediately as
she slowly crept into the room. Her first thought was that she had
been
robbed, but upon closer inspection, only the pile of books in her
closet
had been disturbed. Everything else was in order. Leaving her room to
do a second sweep through the apartment, she called out to Jakob and
received no answer.
She'd noticed his backpack on the couch when she came in, and had been
expecting to find him, or at least a message as to his whereabouts.
There was nothing. Something was very wrong.
Returning to her room, Buffy took a closer look at the books strewn
over
the bed and floor. She recognized one of Jakob's notebooks, page after
page covered in his handwriting half buried among the books. Picking
it
up, she began to read.
*****
As Cordelia regained consciousness, she made a concerted effort not to
vomit all over herself. The vision had been unbelievably intense ...
and BAD. After several moments, Cordelia realized that she was in
Angel's arms and that he was talking to her. Concentrating, she
listened to him.
"Cordelia, are you okay? Tell us what you saw."
Cordelia blinked and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she studied
her dearest friend's face. Turning her head to her husband who stood
close by, she croaked out a single word.
"Jakob."
Gunn's face dropped and he immediately ran for the phone. He knew that
Jakob had gone home earlier in the day ... After several minutes, he
turned back to face Cordelia and a very distraught looking Angel.
"No answer," he said morosely. "We should go over there and ...
check."
Cordelia crumbled, leaning heavily against Angel, her body shaking with
the force of her sobs. As he rubbed her back, Angel tried to remain
calm. He knew without a doubt that Jakob was the name of Buffy's son.
If he was hurt, or if Buffy was hurt, Angel would track down whatever
did it and rip them limb from limb. He also knew what Gunn had meant
by
"check". He had meant see if there were any bodies.
*****
The front door to the apartment was still open when Gunn, Cordy, Angel
and Wesley arrived on the scene. The ride over had been completely
silent. Angel hadn't spoken a single word on the ride, concentrating
instead on remaining focused and calm. He wouldn't be of any use to
anyone if he went into a rage. He needed to find out if Buffy and her
son were okay.
The apartment looked shockingly normal. Gunn had been expecting to
find
complete chaos, but things inside were neat as usual, if a bit cramped.
There was a light on in one of the bedrooms and the group made their
way
towards it, preparing themselves for the worst.
Buffy was sitting on the floor clutching a notebook to her chest,
almost
catatonic when the others walked in. She didn't acknowledge the
intruders. Her state explained why there had been no answer when Gunn
called. She probably hadn't heard the phone ring.
Angel stopped breathing when he saw Buffy. Her proximity hit him like
a
physical blow and he was overwhelmed for several moments. She was all
right, at least physically. Not that she looked good, she looked
awful. She was too thin and her fatigue was palpable, but she didn't
appear to be physically injured. Mentally, she looked about as far
from
okay as a person could be. Something had happened, something bad and
he
was going to make sure that whatever was responsible was going to die
slowly and painfully.
Cordelia stepped forward, kneeling in front of the statue still woman.
Slowly, Buffy raised her gaze to meet the seer's tear stained face.
They wore identical expressions of misery. The former Slayer didn't
fight as the seer pulled her into a tight embrace, chanting over and
over, "I'm sorry, Buffy."
For long moments, Buffy was rigid in Cordy's embrace. All at once she
seemed to find her way back to herself and broke down, sobbing
hysterically in her former friend's arms.
"Cordy, he's gone," she wailed pitifully, choking through her tears.
"I know," Cordelia said gently through her own tears. "We'll find
him."
Turning to face her husband, Cordy said, "We should go back to our
house
and work from there."
Gunn looked around nervously, "Maybe someone should stay here in case
Jakob comes back."
Cordy shook her head. "He won't come back here."
They could have stayed at Buffy's apartment, or gone back to the
Hyperion, or gone to a park for that matter, but Cordelia *needed* to
be
home. Faced with the reality of Buffy's missing child, she desperately
needed to see her own children.
Slowly, Cordelia helped a somewhat calmer Buffy to her feet. For the
first time, the former Slayer seemed to notice that there were other
people in the room. Her gaze flicked from Gunn to Wesley, finally
coming to rest on Angel. Buffy's expression cracked again as she saw
him and she started crying again. Her world was falling apart. How
was
she going to explain to him just how badly she had messed things up?
Without thinking, Angel stepped forward and pulled her into his arms,
holding her firmly against his chest as she wept. Cordelia looked at
him gratefully as he gently comforted Buffy. He was undeniably upset
now, but she cringed at the thought of what would happen when he found
out just who Jakob really was.
Somehow the group made its way outside and into Gunn's monstrous SUV.
They were greatly aided by the fact that in the interest of time, the
former vampire had picked up the distraught former Slayer and carried
her outside. Buffy and Angel piled in the backseat with Wesley. Given
the size of the vehicle, there was plenty of room for everyone, but
Buffy remained firmly glued to Angel's side. He did nothing to
persuade
her to move away from him. She was silent on the entire trip to Gunn
and Cordy's except for an occasional hiccupping sob.
When they reached the house, Gunn went off in search of Charlie and any
information he might possess. Cordelia was busy tracking down her two
younger children, Jessica and Chase. Wesley strategically decided to
make tea, leaving Buffy and Angel alone in the large living room.
"Somebody should call Willow and let her know," Buffy noted
absentmindedly.
Angel nodded as he held Buffy, gently stroking her hair.
"Later. Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked softly, not
at
all certain she would say anything.
Buffy looked up at him with an expression both wary and guilty. "How
much do you know?" she asked bluntly.
"I know that your son is missing, and probably in trouble," he said
truthfully.
Buffy swallowed hard. She was still clutching the notebook. Pulling
back from Angel's embrace she looked around and found her purse,
silently thanking Cordelia for having the presence of mind to bring it
along. Grabbing it, she riffled through the contents as Angel looked
on
in confusion. Finding what she was looking for, Buffy handed the
picture of Jakob to Angel.
"This is Jakob," she said quietly.
Surely, she wouldn't have to explain it any further. Angel was human
now and had been for quite some time, Willow had informed her of that
much. He had to look in a mirror everyday. He couldn't deny the
truth.
Angel studied the photograph intently. Buffy didn't miss the fact that
his hand started shaking. Putting the picture down, he looked at
Buffy,
and then pulled her into his arms again as she sobbed with relief.
"Why didn't you tell me he was mine?" he whispered into her hair, his
voice strangled with emotion.
Buffy ruefully wondered if she was ever going to be able to stop
crying. "I don't know," she sobbed, "I don't know *how* he's yours,
but
he is."
Angel cringed. Of course she didn't know. No one knew but him. But
this shouldn't have been possible. The Oracles took back the day.
They
shouldn't have been able to create a life - but they had.
Jakob. *His* son. He'd stayed away for years, unwilling to deal with
the pain of seeing his love with Riley's son. Jakob wasn't Riley's.
Angel berated himself for having been such an ass.
Pulling Buffy fully into his lap, Angel rocked her gently. He thought
about the son he'd never known existed. The son he had with his mate.
The son ... he hadn't been able to protect. A ragged sob wracked
Angel's frame as the last thought hit him. It was all his fault. He
should have been there.