Footsteps (Part Three-a)

Diclaimer in Part One-a.

*****

The next afternoon, Jake sat alone on the couch contemplating a myriad of events. He'd been planning on staying at Charlie's all weekend, but had come home early. His mother didn't know about the change of plans and was out looking for a job. He knew she only did things like that when he wasn't around, not wanting to worry him with financial concerns.

Jakob's mind wandered back to the previous evening. Charlie knew something about Angel, but he wasn't going to spill. Why? Darla also knew something about Angel, she'd made a point to call him that the previous evening.

Jake didn't like Darla, and he didn't trust her, but he got the distinct feeling that she would tell him who Angel was when no one else would. Why she would do that remained to be seen. He doubted she had any altruistic intentions. Her information would come at a price.

*****

"You want to know about Angel?" Darla asked Jake as she sat down on the couch next to him. Just as she'd predicted, he'd made his way to her lair in search of answers.

"You know who he is," Jake said, it wasn't a question.

"Yes," she said, her lips pulling back into a smile. "I know who he is ... and was."

Jake studied her carefully. She wasn't bluffing, she also knew a lot more than she was saying.

"Is he my father?" Jake asked, unwilling, and unable, to draw it out any longer.

"Yes," she answered softly. "You are so much like him, Jakob. Did you know that? So much potential."

Jake swallowed. He had to admit to himself that he'd known that truth for weeks. He hadn't known who Angel was, but something inside of him had always know. Now the knowledge had crystallized, become an unavoidable reality.

"Are you a vampire?" he asked, studying her face.

"Yes," she answered honestly.

It was all falling into place. "And Angel was a demon hunter."

She smiled again, quelling the urge to laugh outright. This was going to be so much fun. Leaning towards her prey, she gently caressed the side of his face, not missing the involuntary flinch on his part.

"Angel was a drunken, whoring Irishman the first time I met him," she said softly. "That was right before I turned him, more than two an a half centuries ago."

Jake felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. Angel was a *vampire*. How the hell was that possible?

Noting his peaked complexion, Darla continued like the finely tuned predator she was, "He was one of the most vicious creatures to ever walk the earth, Jakob. He was a legend among legends. You should be proud of your heritage. He is known by the name Angel, but more often than not, he is referred to as Angelus. You shouldn't have any trouble finding the information you are looking for."

*****

Jakob stumbled blindly down the hallway towards his mother's room. Buffy was still out, he didn't know where. Heedless of the mess he was creating, he pushed her clothes aside and pulled out the crates of old books again.

As he skimmed through them, he wondered how he had missed it before. There were scores of references to the demon Angelus. He admitted to himself that he hadn't been looking for a demon named Angelus, he had been looking for a human named Angel. Too bad.

Darla hadn't been embellishing. The atrocities committed by Angelus were beyond words. His heritage. Hundreds upon hundreds of victims killed in a myriad of gruesome ways. At the bottom of the pile, he came across one of the journals of his mother's watcher and leafed through it once again.

The diary wasn't complete, a large portion of it had been ripped out, but there was enough for Jake's needs. No mention of Angel, but Angelus had definitely been in Sunnydale. He had murdered Giles' girlfriend and left her body for him as a morbid present.

The demon had spent months tormenting Buffy and her friends, including a young cheerleader named Cordelia Chase - Charlie's mother. No wonder his friend had paled at the mention of Angel. He'd known the entire time who the vampire was and that Jakob was likely his son, but he couldn't tell Jake the truth. How do you tell your best friend that he's a monster?

A monster like his father.

Inside the journal was a tracing of the tattoo on Angel's right shoulder, it was a perfect match for the one Jakob had seen in his dream. Something inside of him was bound to the demon, part of it even. How could he fight something like that?

Jakob was suddenly seized by guilt. For weeks he'd been thinking his mother tricked Riley into claiming him as his son, but it seemed the truth was much more horrifying. Surely the creature had raped the Slayer, that was the only explanation. She wouldn't have been willingly involved with such a vicious monster. There was no mention of any sort of relationship between Buffy and Angelus, but a large portion of the text was missing. Perhaps his mother had been too ashamed to even allow the words to exist. Surely she'd destroyed part of the journal in an attempt to avoid the horrors of her past.

Jakob cradled his head in his hands. He was like this creature. Buffy had said as much on the phone to Willow. Darla, the vampire who had created Angelus, echoed the sentiment. The people in Huxley had been right. Jakob was a monster, or at least on his way to becoming one. No wonder Riley had been so disappointed in him.

He was an abomination.

Jakob was suddenly assaulted by memories of the scar on his mother's neck. She'd always brushed him off when he asked about it, saying she'd had an accident. She hadn't. It was a vampire bite. Angelus had marked her in yet another way. Jakob felt as if he'd been marked as well. All of the darkness inside himself that he constantly tried to hold at bay rose in an overwhelming tide, and he was helpless to stop it. Images of Steven Simms lying broken and bleeding on the ground filled his mind. He was an animal.

*****

Fate had a way of making sure certain things happened in a certain manner. To that end, Cordelia Chase had agreed to accompany her husband while he made a quick stop by the office to check on a few loose ends.

It was more convenient that way.

The Powers That Be had no intention of allowing the seer to hurt herself when she was hit with the vision, and since Angel was the only person who ever managed to catch her before she ended up on the floor, it was imperative he be present. He didn't disappoint.

As Angel cradled his unconscious friend, he frantically addressed Gunn, "I thought she didn't have visions anymore."

Bewildered, Gunn answered, "She doesn't ... I mean she hasn't for years. But ... even when she had them all the time, they weren't this bad."

The force of the vision had rendered Cordelia completely unconscious.

"She's still breathing, and her pulse is returning to normal," Angel said as he held his fingers to her throat.

*****

Buffy was worried the second she reached the front door and found it slightly ajar. Long repressed Slayer instincts returned immediately as she slowly crept into the room. Her first thought was that she had been robbed, but upon closer inspection, only the pile of books in her closet had been disturbed. Everything else was in order. Leaving her room to do a second sweep through the apartment, she called out to Jakob and received no answer.

She'd noticed his backpack on the couch when she came in, and had been expecting to find him, or at least a message as to his whereabouts. There was nothing. Something was very wrong.

Returning to her room, Buffy took a closer look at the books strewn over the bed and floor. She recognized one of Jakob's notebooks, page after page covered in his handwriting half buried among the books. Picking it up, she began to read.

*****

As Cordelia regained consciousness, she made a concerted effort not to vomit all over herself. The vision had been unbelievably intense ... and BAD. After several moments, Cordelia realized that she was in Angel's arms and that he was talking to her. Concentrating, she listened to him.

"Cordelia, are you okay? Tell us what you saw."

Cordelia blinked and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she studied her dearest friend's face. Turning her head to her husband who stood close by, she croaked out a single word.

"Jakob."

Gunn's face dropped and he immediately ran for the phone. He knew that Jakob had gone home earlier in the day ... After several minutes, he turned back to face Cordelia and a very distraught looking Angel.

"No answer," he said morosely. "We should go over there and ... check."

Cordelia crumbled, leaning heavily against Angel, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. As he rubbed her back, Angel tried to remain calm. He knew without a doubt that Jakob was the name of Buffy's son. If he was hurt, or if Buffy was hurt, Angel would track down whatever did it and rip them limb from limb. He also knew what Gunn had meant by "check". He had meant see if there were any bodies.

***** The front door to the apartment was still open when Gunn, Cordy, Angel and Wesley arrived on the scene. The ride over had been completely silent. Angel hadn't spoken a single word on the ride, concentrating instead on remaining focused and calm. He wouldn't be of any use to anyone if he went into a rage. He needed to find out if Buffy and her son were okay.

The apartment looked shockingly normal. Gunn had been expecting to find complete chaos, but things inside were neat as usual, if a bit cramped. There was a light on in one of the bedrooms and the group made their way towards it, preparing themselves for the worst.

Buffy was sitting on the floor clutching a notebook to her chest, almost catatonic when the others walked in. She didn't acknowledge the intruders. Her state explained why there had been no answer when Gunn called. She probably hadn't heard the phone ring.

Angel stopped breathing when he saw Buffy. Her proximity hit him like a physical blow and he was overwhelmed for several moments. She was all right, at least physically. Not that she looked good, she looked awful. She was too thin and her fatigue was palpable, but she didn't appear to be physically injured. Mentally, she looked about as far from okay as a person could be. Something had happened, something bad and he was going to make sure that whatever was responsible was going to die slowly and painfully.

Cordelia stepped forward, kneeling in front of the statue still woman. Slowly, Buffy raised her gaze to meet the seer's tear stained face. They wore identical expressions of misery. The former Slayer didn't fight as the seer pulled her into a tight embrace, chanting over and over, "I'm sorry, Buffy."

For long moments, Buffy was rigid in Cordy's embrace. All at once she seemed to find her way back to herself and broke down, sobbing hysterically in her former friend's arms.

"Cordy, he's gone," she wailed pitifully, choking through her tears.

"I know," Cordelia said gently through her own tears. "We'll find him."

Turning to face her husband, Cordy said, "We should go back to our house and work from there."

Gunn looked around nervously, "Maybe someone should stay here in case Jakob comes back."

Cordy shook her head. "He won't come back here."

They could have stayed at Buffy's apartment, or gone back to the Hyperion, or gone to a park for that matter, but Cordelia *needed* to be home. Faced with the reality of Buffy's missing child, she desperately needed to see her own children.

Slowly, Cordelia helped a somewhat calmer Buffy to her feet. For the first time, the former Slayer seemed to notice that there were other people in the room. Her gaze flicked from Gunn to Wesley, finally coming to rest on Angel. Buffy's expression cracked again as she saw him and she started crying again. Her world was falling apart. How was she going to explain to him just how badly she had messed things up?

Without thinking, Angel stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her firmly against his chest as she wept. Cordelia looked at him gratefully as he gently comforted Buffy. He was undeniably upset now, but she cringed at the thought of what would happen when he found out just who Jakob really was.

Somehow the group made its way outside and into Gunn's monstrous SUV. They were greatly aided by the fact that in the interest of time, the former vampire had picked up the distraught former Slayer and carried her outside. Buffy and Angel piled in the backseat with Wesley. Given the size of the vehicle, there was plenty of room for everyone, but Buffy remained firmly glued to Angel's side. He did nothing to persuade her to move away from him. She was silent on the entire trip to Gunn and Cordy's except for an occasional hiccupping sob.

When they reached the house, Gunn went off in search of Charlie and any information he might possess. Cordelia was busy tracking down her two younger children, Jessica and Chase. Wesley strategically decided to make tea, leaving Buffy and Angel alone in the large living room.

"Somebody should call Willow and let her know," Buffy noted absentmindedly.

Angel nodded as he held Buffy, gently stroking her hair.

"Later. Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked softly, not at all certain she would say anything.

Buffy looked up at him with an expression both wary and guilty. "How much do you know?" she asked bluntly.

"I know that your son is missing, and probably in trouble," he said truthfully.

Buffy swallowed hard. She was still clutching the notebook. Pulling back from Angel's embrace she looked around and found her purse, silently thanking Cordelia for having the presence of mind to bring it along. Grabbing it, she riffled through the contents as Angel looked on in confusion. Finding what she was looking for, Buffy handed the picture of Jakob to Angel.

"This is Jakob," she said quietly.

Surely, she wouldn't have to explain it any further. Angel was human now and had been for quite some time, Willow had informed her of that much. He had to look in a mirror everyday. He couldn't deny the truth.

Angel studied the photograph intently. Buffy didn't miss the fact that his hand started shaking. Putting the picture down, he looked at Buffy, and then pulled her into his arms again as she sobbed with relief.

"Why didn't you tell me he was mine?" he whispered into her hair, his voice strangled with emotion.

Buffy ruefully wondered if she was ever going to be able to stop crying. "I don't know," she sobbed, "I don't know *how* he's yours, but he is."

Angel cringed. Of course she didn't know. No one knew but him. But this shouldn't have been possible. The Oracles took back the day. They shouldn't have been able to create a life - but they had.

Jakob. *His* son. He'd stayed away for years, unwilling to deal with the pain of seeing his love with Riley's son. Jakob wasn't Riley's. Angel berated himself for having been such an ass.

Pulling Buffy fully into his lap, Angel rocked her gently. He thought about the son he'd never known existed. The son he had with his mate. The son ... he hadn't been able to protect. A ragged sob wracked Angel's frame as the last thought hit him. It was all his fault. He should have been there.

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