~ The Laughing Gallery~
As much as I appreciate your smug, albeit ignorant, little comments, you fail to realize that in the real world, a Master can own more than one slave. In fact, all the best do. Why would a man limit himself to one slave? I would imagine the idea of "sharing" is alien to you, as it is to most Lifestyle "wannabes." It is YOU who has a lot to learn about the Lifestyle. In the future, you might think a bit longer before mouthing off to your betters. If you'd like to prove your willingness to be a better slave, you may apologize.
Awarded First Prize for Originality
Jon I have read your stuff also... I read Mollys add then I read what you wrote... in regard to her add... lets see how far off the mark I am... I think that you were appointed Mollys leagle guardian just after the state intervened in her abusive home life... I think you have spent over twentyyears raising her... You gave her a loving and caring home life that included the use of spankings... I E you spanked her when she was bad... She wants... craves... and needs... so much more than that... When Molly first told you that she wanted to be owned... it was hard for you to accept... you spent considerable time trying to diswade her...Then you tried to study it so as to find the way to fix that part of her... Molly has over the years insisted and you still have a hard time accepting it... Jon I think you are getting on in years... and you know that your task is not done...
before you can rest... you must find someone willing to dedicate their life to Molly and her well being... Someone that you know for a fact will take care of her... I have searched for someone like Molly for a long
time... however... If she is a fat ugly slug I will not accept her... And... I will need to know quite a bit more about her before I can consider accepting... that much responsibility... So How close to the mark have I come
Doctor?
Spotted Ranting About Jesus to Their Invisible Friend on a Downtown Corner
You little bitch you. you are no "master", or "protector". I come to you in respect, as One Master to Another, and you dare to disrespect Me in such a way. Now, I really don't know, and don't care, what kind of a "game" you might be playing here. If this girl, IS all that you SAY she is, then she is the kind of slave I may be looking for. Yes, I AM looking for that one of a kind slave, one with whom I would spend the rest of My life with. However, IF you truely ARE her protector, and you truely ARE a Master, then you should realize that the manor in which you speak to Me, is totally uncalled for, totally out of line, and unbecoming any person calling themself "Master". I will NOT debate this with you any longer. Be also advised, that continued disrespect Me will not be tolerated. With a slave, I have paitence, and am very even tempered when it comes to training, disipline, and a proper M/s relationship. I have NO paitence when it comes to a so-called "Master" and His disrespect. I take My life, any death, and this lifestyle which I have held so close, for so many years now, VERY seriously. You WILL understand this one thing, DO NOT consider yourself such that you cannot be brought down by My own desire. Because I CAN, and WILL put you down, like the dog that you act like. you DARE to speak to Me as you do? Be glad "master jon" that you find yourself safe behind the comp screen. because I WOULD otherwise slap you down like the true bitch you are. Be gone slut, I have not time for posers and loosers such as you. Come back when you grow up to be this "master" and "protector" you claim to be, when you have learned to talk with respect.
In response to this preposterous flapping, Jon gave this clown his home address and invited him over to "bitch slap" him. At that point, the guy rudely declined the invitation.
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It's too bad that you allow someone else to make your decisions for you...you should learn to discern the nuts of society from those of us who are still: safe, sane, and consentual! I want to deal with a guy like him, as he's in the business of controlling your life and probably everyone elses around him? We must all learn to make critical deisions...so why should you be allowed to NOT having to do this? In essence, you are using him, to do all of your dirty work for you! And he's so stupid that he does it...hmmm...something like the SHEEP OF
SOCIETY! Jesus...it's highly likey that you will never find anyone PERFECT enough for this joker...as he's so screwed up that he's working overtime in finding you the perfect pardner...! Why don't you just do your own thinking and get on with life...? How long are you going to let someone drag your life out...without some kind of fulfilment? We win some and loose some! So what else is new! It's your life so enjoy being denied all the opportunities that are coming your way! You seek, but you don't have the courage to choose, without someone to use as a crutch! You are cheating yourself...and your life is wasting! I'm probably the nicest of the types you are seeking! But then, you will never know!
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She isn't worth anything to me!! She's used!! I wouldn't want her as my slave as you probbly have her stretched out too much and she wouldn't be any dam good to me!! If she isn't tight she would never be good enough for me!! I see she's looking as if she has been gang banged by almost ever guy in toronto and probbly a drug user too!! Keeper her as not worth the time of day to me!! Tooo bad you screwed her up so bad as she could have been a good slave to have!! And no it isn't worth adding me e-mail address for you to try sending me any relpy !! May be sell her to the Taliban maybe they could use a used worn out slave!!
Ingenious One-Liners (these were the entire message)
some funny shit in u r laugh gallary n u r slave looks hot on her knees ready 2 b fucked .. interesting page dude
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hi. i've seen your add somewhere in the web, and got curious. how does it "work" ?
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I am looking for a slave. you will submit info and yourself to me IF I am pleased.
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if this is what u want i am the master u seek. i can and will own u so that u will give yourself willingly to me. contact me i dare you!
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would you like to be a phone slave for a while before meeting?
Submissives as Non-Humans
I am a romantic dom. I am a strict but caring gentleman. I live alone in a nice home. Through your thorough, and what I feel is a sincere effort on Molly's behalf, I believe that I would be able, and also capable, of understanding Molly-- which I realize would have to be on a continual basis-- and of fulfilling her needs. She may also be able to fulfill my needs. But, does Molly want to be loved, and is she capable of loving? What you never mentioned in your considerable discription of Molly, was a single word which would involve love. This would be important for me to know.
Jon’s response:
I have received many preposterous and clueless responses to Molly's ad, but yours is in a special category. It goes without saying that were you a dominant man, you could not ask such a ridiculous question as whether Molly needs love or is capable of it. But even as a conventional man, the question is beyond belief. Do you know anyone who does not want to be loved? I can only shudder at your fantasies of what submissive women are.
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I see female slavery as something rather simple and uncomplicated: your Master owns you, you are his property. He tells you what your rules are, and you abide by them -- end of story. What's the complication? A truely dominant husband almost never needs to punish his truely submissive wife. If and when he does, punishment has to be short and sharp: the same way you punish a disobedient young dog. You do have to show him clearly and inequivocally just who's boss. The lash must smart. On the other hand, you certainly don't want to overdo things, because you want the dog to love and recognise you, not fear you. And once the punishment over, you want to make up as soon as possible. The dog will make the first move, so that's easy. Also, you can only punish the dog if you have to go fetch him. You can never punish him if you call for him and he comes running and submits. These are some of the iron rules of proper dog-training, and they apply to women as well.
This did not turn out to be just a regular buffoon. He followed up with half a dozen letters ranting about killing all Jews in gas chambers, and signed his letters "Heil Hitler". I pity his poor dog.
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Nice photo's of Molly. If she is submissive and you are training her then I would like to point out a couple of items I find incorrect in her posture in the pup photo. Either it was taken in haste or she is not being trained properly or she was overexcited in being photographed in which case she needs more training. Her head is pointed upward and that is incorrect it should face forward not up. Her back is arched. this is Incorrect for show purposes, her arms are bowing in, is this a defective breed? also why is her slip collar not on? I would also point out her toes are curled under which is never allowed. feet flat and pointed outwards at all times. What is her breed? Her hair is cut like a poodle yet dyed, although this is not allow at Westminster it may be acceptable for some house or local beauty competitions. I would also insure that she gets plenty of exercise. She looks as if she
is putting on a bit of weight and although it is not bad yet, it can be a problem for her health in the future. If you would like some assistance with her guidance and training let me know.
Mysterious Commands
If you are the mentor, read and dictate to her that I am the only Master she needs. Obey me and do my bidding!
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Have you found your master? If not, I give you this command: order pizza, and pay for it at the door nude. Fumble with your money, and bend over to pick it up, exposing the hindside. Report back to me.
Jon's response:
Yes, Master Sir, I did as you told me to do. I ordered pizza and answered the door nude when it was delivered. I fumbled in my hands and dropped the money, turned around, and bent over to pick it up. The delivery man ran away! Can you explain this, Sir?
Your Homosexual Admirer
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My wife is neutral to light submissive and needs a female to bond with. You will be my ultra submissive, to do, to say, to act, to think as I command you. Period. You will obey me because you need to obey me. I command you to call me, as my sister, Monday March 25 at 11 a.m. central time. 515-***-**** . You will say "is my brother home" and I will order you to travel to live with my family as my second wife.
I guess the cloak-and-dagger procedure means that his wife doesn't yet realize she needs a "second wife" to bond with... but will, naturally, be delighted when a woman shows up at her door.
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Molly Friday you are no longer Molly Friday, but cuntgirl and will immediately come to Kingston Ontario Canada and start serving me Your Owner who will tatoo you and pierce your pussy lips and place in lock to secure ownership of you, you are to be packing NOW and be here by 200pm Tuesday June 25 2002 you can phone me at 945p.m. tonight only if you do not call then don't call again you are a worthless cunt. that phone number is 613 *** **** Your pussy, ass, mouth and any other part of you is mine Every morning you will present yourself to me and service me before you do anything you will be fed scraps my cat will eat better than you till you earn better I have no more time - so start your journey NOW NOW NOW
I Was Dreaming When I Wrote This
Experience master seeking for slave to be punishment. If you wanna be my slave for 24/7 and wanna get hard punishment, email me and I will arrange for you. To be my slave you must be totally under my control. Obey my order. Disobey slave will be receive totally severe punishment you ever get before. As my slave, you will get rope bondage, suspended in the air for a long period. You will also be tied on the whipping table and receive my hard bullwhipping. I will ensure you that you get the most painful whipping you ever get. I also like to perform severe hard caning on your butt. You must be totally prepared to email me......... When you email me, attach your photo, if not, once you be my slave, I will tied both your hands on the chair and whip you hard until you say the safeword.
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Greetings!!! I am intersted in being your new Master and I have a deal I am offering to you. The offer I am making is REAL!! I am searching for a woman (you?) willing to come live with me...for free.... That's right!!! I pay all the bills...NO Strings...all I ask for is sex in trade. Stay as long as you want, a week, a year, a lifetime. It can be just the D/s and sex or a real man/woman realtionship, including dining out each week, entertainment of various types, love?, etc, etc....your choice. You will always be treated with total respect. I want someone who will obey my every wish and command to be a slut in the bedroom and a lady outside of that. I will answer any questions you have and I have pics to trade. Interested??Why am I doing this? Because most of the available women my age are fat and unattractive or they can't keep up with me sexually. I'm average looking, but I'm not a creep, twisted, or a dirty old man...just horny all the time!! I'm a normal average guy in every other way. I am very sincere in my quest for a woman who can keep up with me. Just so you know I don't hide anything and I am very honest...I don't look my age(45)....most people think I'm around 35, but you be the judge of that. This could be the best thing that ever happened to you. It won't hurt you to check it out. Obviously I would expect to trade pics and chat a while to be sure it will work for both of us before anything would happen at all. Send an answer yes or no if you are interested...that's all I ask for now.
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I would be very interested in being your Master. First I would give you a good session of tit torture and pussy whipping. Then I would have you straddle a wooden horse and endure that for a couple of hours until you were exhausted. Then I would set you on all fours and fuck you in your pussy and then in your nasty fucking whore butthole. Then I would stick my dick in your mouth and fuck your mouth like it was a pussy or a butthole. Finally, I would come in your face. After that, I would turn you back over and stick my cock back in your anus and piss up your butthole. There's nothing like giving a little whore a nice warm piss enema! Also, why should I go to the bathroom when I can use your rectum as a recepticle for my piss? I know that when Allysin Embers made "White Trash Whore #3," she said that afterwards she felt like a used condom. When I'm through with you, I not only want you to feel like a used condom, I want used to feel like a fucking human toilet. Eventually, over a period of time, I would want you to be my ponygirl, as seen in "Equus Eroticus" and elsewhere. You could prance through the streets pulling my cart dressed in a black leather corset and with a black leather bikini covering your clit and pussylips, but with your buttocks bare. Your anus would be modestly covered by a ponytail between your legs and a 12" buttplug up your fucking ponygirl whore butthole. You should always be proud of your buttplug, because it is a constant reminder that you are first and foremost a ponygirl. It also gives you a very pleasurable sensation, especially as you lift your knees high as a good disciplined ponygirl should. On some weekends, we could go to a ponygirl ranch and you could prance around buck naked with just the ponytail/buttplug covering your naked anus. Since you wouldn't be wearing a corset, we would resort to having you pull the cart with reins attached to your nipples and pussylips. Your nipples and pussylips would be put through a goodworkout, and your pussylips would probably get stretched permanently out of shape, but that is OK because I think that stretched-out pussylips are very erotic. And it is only appropriate that ponygirls have stretched-out pussylips!
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I'm a male disabled from a motorcycle accident. I'm tired of takeing care of all my daily tasks, as well as the needs of the attendent care I hire. I'm educated, successfull, intellegient, driven & TIRED... I want a woman to tuck me in a backroom & take care of all lifes details. I just want to HIDE for the world. I realize that to be KEPT... comes with it's own price... Where do I go to find a woman willing to tuck me away from the world and use me as her own descrete entertainment center.
The Best Tops Start From The Bottom
Let me tell you about myself and if you agree then we can talk ... I am 48 , divorced , and a wonderful person ,, I first got started into bdsm at the age of 13 by a wonderful mistress , First trained aas a submissive then brought to a level of Domance at the age of 16 ,,, I stayed in the lifestile throug colleg till i got tired and lost , i got married to a very nice lady at the age of 28 we stayed married till 4 years ago ,, the divorce came because she was a very cold hearted woman ,, since then i have been serching for the right submissive ,, her qualities should be smart , attractive, gentle hearted , passionate about life , romantiac , abd very loving ,,, no game playes ... My own limits are , scatt, bloodletting, animals, and extream pain ... i am a very kind . loving strick, i will establish her guide line so she does have to guess ,is it right or wrong.
Miscellaneous, Inexplicable, Freakish and Weird
Hello, I am not any of the people you don't wish to talk to. I made a quick visit to your site but did not read much. i did not want what i read to influence my interaction with you.
My response:
Hello. I did not read your email. I did not want what I read to influence my interaction with you, either.
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Hi, I am starting a ranch and am in search of livestock and house slaves. Would you be interested in any of these possitions? You will be well cared for.
My question to Jon:
I am confused. Do you think I should apply as livestock or house slave?
Jon's reply to me:
Since this fellow is obviously a deep thinker, he will, I am sure, not have conventional livestock. Why not apply as an ostrich?
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You have been trying to "unload" this woman for years now. I have seen old personals with this same ad. Why don't you just cut it out. There is no Molly. Some people are actually trying to find a sub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So quit being an asshole, loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I regularly get something like this several times a week. I first posted my ad in July 2001 but I've seen people claiming to have seen it since the 1980's. I imagine they're the same personalities who see UFO's, abominable snowmen, and the Virgin Mary in their burnt toast.
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[ I have] the sensitivity'n'insight to observe'n'realize, "Jon Jacobs" is likely a fictitious, Dominant facade-of-a-persona; created by "Molly," to safely solicit and field the inquiries... she dearly hopes will draw towards her, "The One" true Master, she so aches to serve and be led by. Now then Molly, you've succeeded in finding me. Call within the hour, or don't call at all... because this Dominant will not be led a merry chase. Understood?
I don't know what causes some to decide that I don't exist and others to decide (in an equally "Aha, I have you now!" tone) that Jon doesn't exist, but I think they should get together and fight it out. I'm still waiting for someone to say that neither of us exists, or that we're a committee of 15 people.
Little Vanilla Riding Hood Lost in the Kinky Aisle
Hello, I am 57 years old, divorced, no kids. I have never had a slave before. I would like to talk to you by email about Molly. Although I would never treat her as a slave, but an equal. All that I would ever ask of her is sex and her love.
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Hi, I saw your photograph is very nice and I feel something happening to my below parts of my body. I staying in Singapore, how am I to contact you? For your info please call my Handphone No: 65-****-**** .
I update this section continually. Wisdom flows fast and free into my mailbox.