Looking back, around and forward..
 

By international standard, I will join a group called senior citizen in the next few days when I am 50 years old.And according to Malaysian demographic survey, those who are 50, have a 50% chance to live to 60 years. Mathematically speaking, whatever I wish to do or accomplish, I have to make full use of the next five years.

Five years is only 260 weeks or 1825 days. When I was younger, I only talk in " years" -What I have done last year and what I want to do next year. Now, I think I have to plan and assess of what I want to do and achieve on weekly basis. A month is too long as a unit of time for me to monitor myself. A few of friends have gone before they are even 50. May Allah bless their souls..

Looking back, 50 years is a short time, but the fact is it is half a century. What have I done and achieved in my life? It will take days to list them down;not so much the amount but to recollect the memory...Like someone who told me that he got 20 years experience in water engineering;for all you know he only has two years experience repeated ten times!!

Most people would tell you only to  look forward- anyway, who can change the past? What about the future? No one will be sure about their future. What is certain is the present. We can't live in the past neither we can live in th future. It is always the present. Whatever we do in the present will become our past and will affect our future- most of the time...

In fact, I have been thinking hard about the past and the future for the last six months. Now, I am taking my own sabbatical from my own business for the next six months.I have trained the succesors for the last five years because at that time I plan to quit doing business when I am 50. So far, it works fine. Thanks to Allah swt for it.

Most of my working life I have been involved in project management. Two years ago, I started a journey of rediscovery on project management. I went to London to visit APM, talked to people that I respect in project management and now I am attending courses and reading books. Hopefully, I will sit for the PMP examination in two months time.

What would I do when I retire? Of course I would love to sit on my sofa, drinking earl grey tea and reading my favourite book. But then what would I do with little knowledge and experience in project managemnet and business? It is ONLY right that I pass on this knowledge and experience to others.

With the above in mind, I managed to gather a few of my friends under the banner of XPROJECT MANAGEMENT six months ago and managed  to form a team of lecturers to train project managers.By the grace of Allah, I was given a contract  to train 24 engineers by a government department. The course will start in two weeks  time.

As far as my education is concerned, I have made a mistake. I was so involved in my work that I had missed the opportunity to do my post-graduate studies. I also  have neglected my religious study and now I am catching up.Many of my comtemporaries have done their Masters or Ph. D. It may a little late for me to do my post graduate but it is better than never. As of to-day, I have made up my mind to do a post-graduate study not later than June, 2003. Hopefully, I won't change my mind.

A year ago I asked a professor at UKM about my plan to retire from business and take up study,teaching and some consultancy work . He advised me to look for a model.Since that day I have been looking for a model and I have found one.But I don't think I would and could do everything what he has done. He is no other than Dato' Yusof Zaky Yaacob.He passed away some three years ago but his works live on through his books and teachings. When he was alive, he was a muslim scholar, a teacher, a writer and a business man.

I donot know how long I will live  but I plan to live the rest of my life by my choice and not by my circumtances. The key point here is what matters? If it does not matter, then it will be of the lowest priority. Looking back is good to know where I have been and done but at the same time I must look around to see what I have not done and what I could have done. After going throuh it in the next six months, I hope I could map out the rest of my road ahead. May Allah show me the right way....

By the way, you could do a review and replan of your life at any time. Don't wait until you are 50 like me or like others who took time to reflect when they retire. It may be too late....