Was It Worth It?

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Xander put down the phone as Willow's recorded voice once again began speaking. It was the fourth time that Xander had tried to get a hold of her, and he was starting to worry. He looked up and saw Giles over in the corner, talking with Joyce. Well, from the look of it, they weren't really having a conversation as much as Joyce, breaking down and Giles trying in vain to comfort her. Faith was over in the living room, looking through the chest of weapons. As he watched her raiding Buffy's stash, she looked up and met his eyes. Xander didn't like the look that she was giving him. It looked like that slap had made him a very dangerous enemy. He shrugged and turned back to the phone.

As he picked up the handset and again began to dial, he realized that this was silly. Willow wasn't home thirty seconds ago, she wouldn't be home now, and if she was, well she would be listening to two very panicky messages right now. Xander looked up the stairs towards Buffy's room. She was up there, not breathing, puncture holes on her neck and blood on her lips. I told them, I told them all, but do they ever listen to me, no. I'm just the comic relief. And now she's up there, dead… Xander shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. There had been many times Xander had felt fear in the three years he had known the Slayer, but this, well this topped them all .

Xander was still staring at the stairs when Giles appeared at his shoulder. "Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that. It is so like Angel…" Xander halted that sentence as well. He looked down at his feet when he saw the look of pain and rage cross the Watcher's face.

"Did you reach Willow?"

"Naw, just got the machine again. Maybe she is out with Oz."

"Yes, well, we can't do anything here without her. She really is the only one that can do this spell. We need to do something fast. There are very few accounts of Slayer's being turned and I really, well, I don't know what to expect."

"Don't worry, G-man. She'll be here soon." Xander turned back to look at the stairs. "I think that I might head up there, keep watch, you know."

Giles stared at him for a moment, a knowing look on his face. "Good. I think that I will stay here with Joyce. She is having some trouble… Well, that is to be expected. She is… was her daughter."

Xander nodded, noting that Giles didn't, well couldn't , say Buffy's name. Joyce wasn't the only one mourning a child.

Xander turned , heading up the stairs slowly , and looked down the hallway. He had thought he had wanted to be here, to see Buffy, alone. But now that he was here, he couldn't bring himself to actually walk into her room. Buffy had been the most alive person he had ever met, that was one of the many reasons he was so in love with her. Xander shuddered at the thought of Buffy without that spark. He sighed, squared his shoulders, and put one foot in front of the other, slowly striding to the partially opened door. As he curved around the threshold, pushing open the door, he braced himself for the sight of her dead body.

The bed was empty.

Shocked and disbelieving, Xander looked behind the door, and then crossed to the closet, opening it wide . Frantically pulling blouses and dresses to the floor, he searched the clothes-filled space, then stilled abruptly. "I am so stupid. She is not here." Xander remonstrated himself, a silk shirt slipping from his hands. There was only one possible explanation; Buffy had awakened.

Unconscious of having made any decision, Xander blindly turned from the closet, his feet carrying him down the stairs and into the living room. Giles looked up from where he was sitting, awkwardly holding Joyce's hand. Xander motioned to Giles, moving surreptitiously into the kitchen. When Giles had joined him, he looked around nervously and whispered, "She's gone."

"What do you mean, who is gone?"

"Buffy. She's not up there anymore. I think she, you know, woke up." With another look over his shoulder, Xander told the Watcher what he had seen in the Slayer's bedroom."

"The window was open. You don't think…"

"No, Xander. It is not possible for… well, for Buffy to have woken up. It takes much longer than a few hours for a person to complete the change. In addition, a fledging vampire would not walk out of any house just hours before dawn. They have a natural instinct to stay inside and away from the sun."

"So, where is she?"

"Where's who?" Both men turned to look Faith who had just walked into the room. "Still looking for Willow?"

"No…" Xander's hesitant explanation was cut short with a look from Giles.

"Everything is fine. Could you go and check on Joyce for me ? I am worried that she is not doing well."

"Sure, no problem." Faith agreed softly, looking at the two, suspicion on her face. Xander held his breath, waiting for her to take issue with the obvious lie, but she just turned and walked back to the living room.

Xander looked to Giles who watched as Faith left and then spoke. "I do not want to involve Faith until it is absolutely necessary."

"Absolutely necessary? You don't mean staking Buffy? I mean we are going to do the spell, right?"

"Yes, the spell..." Giles sighed, removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "But if at anytime she becomes a danger to anyone, it is our duty to protect the world from…" Giles' trailed off as he realized the impact of what he was saying. His voice cracked as he finished, "…well, vampires…."

Xander looked down at his feet as they both contemplated the ramifications of what Giles had said.

"Hopefully, it won't come to that. Now go. Try Willow again. And remember, not a word to anyone about …her."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Well, first I am going to wait to see if you reach Willow. Then I am going to see if I can find …Buffy ." Giles' voice broke slightly as his Slayer's name crossed his lips. "I have to assume that if she didn't awaken on her own, then she must have been taken. The question is by whom."

With a nod, Xander returned to the phone. Giles approached the stairs to see the room for himself.

Xander dialed the witch's number again and then slammed the phone down on the tenth hollow ring. He was at the end of his rope. Buffy had been turned, her body was gone, and now Willow was nowhere to be found. He knew that if he could just find Willow, all the craziness of the past 48 hours would go away.

Xander paced in tight, agitated circles. "Willow…Willow will make it all right." In the midst of this desperate mantra, a sudden thought. Oz, of course, she was probably at his house. He opened his wallet and searched frantically for the slip of paper that had the musician's number on it. For a moment he panicked, thinking it lost but then thankfully found it. He dialed the number with trembling fingers.

"Oz." The sleepy voice on the other end of the phone answered.

"Oz, this is Xander. Is Willow there?"

"No, I left her at her house. She said that she was going to bed. What's wrong?" Xander could hear the fear in his voice. "Is Willow ok?"

"Well, she's not answering her phone and there is a bit of a crisis at Buffy's house. We really need her here."

There was a slight pause. Oz continued, a shade less laconic. "Okay man. You stay there and I'll drive over to her house and see if she is there. We'll meet you at Buffy's. Stay cool ."

"Thanks, Oz. We'll be here."

Xander hung up the phone, slightly comforted . He returned to the living room, where Joyce was talking to Faith , and sat down on the sofa. The women's soft voices buzzed in the background as he put his head in his hands and waited for someone to tell him what to do next .

* ~ * ~ *

Willow climbed out of the black Desoto, secretly surveying Spike's apparent home. The decrepit farmhouse was located on the outskirts of town. From the look of the boarded up windows and the mangy yard, this place must have been empty for a long time.

"So, like my new digs? Not as nice as the mansion, But it's got it own rustic charm."

"It's n-n-nice." Willow stammered. She had come with Spike willingly; Buffy needed her. But in the car ride over, Willow couldn't help thinking about each and every attempt by Spike to kill her or her friends. Plus Spike's behaviour hadn't helped her paranoia either. He kept throwing quick glances at her as she huddled in the passenger seat, an unreadable expression on his face. By the end of the drive, her every nerve was screaming at her to flee. But I can't, Buffy's life was at stake. With resolve face in full effect, Willow followed Spike up the rotting steps and entered the house.

It was pitch black inside. Willow shuffled nervously behind the vampire, moving blindly through an apparent hallway and into a dim room. She cried out as her shin hit something low and solid.

"Hold on there, Red. Stay still and I'll light a few candles. Talk to me while I search, that way I know where you are."

Freed from the fear of a shameful death by stumbling, Willow finally voiced the questions that had been buzzing inside her head since Spike had knocked on her door. "So, where is Buffy? How badly is she hurt? Where is Angel? Does he still have his soul?"

"Don't worry, luv. Buffy's gonna be fine, she just needs you. I'll explain what going on with Angel after you see her."

"Oh. Ok ay." As she spoke, she heard the flick of a lighter and then saw Spike lighting a candle. He moved toward to her, handed her a half dozen or so candles, and then passed her a lighter.

"Light these and set them around. I'll be right back." Willow moved into the living room, looking around as she lit the candles and placed them around the room. The farmhouse interior was surprisingly clean considering the rundown exterior. The living room was furnished with several well used but nice pieces of furniture, and surprisingly, a grand piano. The large fireplace in the center of the room had obviously been used many times.

Interesting, Willow thought. From the look of this room, someone has been living here for a while, but Spike said that he had just arrived from LA. Well, maybe Spike just borrowed the place from someone. Or maybe he just took it.

Standing in the shadows of the dimly lit room, Willow's unease returned in force. She hadn't really thought about the dangers of trusting Spike, she was so worried about Buffy. But now, she desperately wished that she had not gotten in the car with Spike. She should have gone to get Giles or Xander.

As she lit the last candle and placed it on the old grand piano, a floorboard creaked directly behind her. As she started to turn, Spike's arm snaked around her throat, cutting off her oxygen. Willow struggled uselessly, hands futilely clawing at the vampire's hold. The already dim room slipped deeper into gray as her struggles slowed and her limbs weakened. Her hands fell limply to her side, the gray solidifying into black. Willow went limp in Spike's grip.

* ~ * ~ *

Continued...