Was It Worth It?

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Notes: Phra's challenge

Requirements:
1. Angel gives into the First and bites Buffy as well as other things Buffy should be turned into a vamp. And no other slayer is called.
2. Faith must not only fight Buffy and Angelus but also one of the scoobies should be turned as well.
3. Faith gets help from two unlikely sources (one should be Spike and the other you can choose but it must be a character introduced on the show prior to Amends)
4. Faith gets to kill Angelus which sends vamp Buffy on a rampage after the slayer
5. And some one switches from either the good side to evil or from the evil side to good.

The fic must have atleast five things:
1. someone mentions Judge Judy
2. a male reading a Cosmo type article.
3. Willow in a pale yellow dress
4. Faith in Spike's duster
5. Buffy torturing a scooby or a past character
6. Joyce staking her first vamp (and it can't be Buffy)
7. I sexy feeding by two vamps (think of Vamp Willow and Xander draining Cordy in The Wish)
8. Mr Trick should make an appearance
9. Kendra is some how alive or 'undead'
10. Includes a song by either Oasis, Stone Temple Pilots, Hole or Nirvana (please remember the timeline)
11.Xander remembering his Dance with Buffy in When She Was Bad
12. Giles talking to Travers over the phone.

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As Buffy walked quickly up the hill, she saw Angel standing on the edge of the cliff, looking out towards the east, over the town. He was waiting for the sun to rise. Her knees became weak seeing him standing there, waiting to die. She had once cursed the fact that he had returned from hell, just as she was beginning to get over him, but seeing him here, about to leave this world forever, she knew that she would never be able to live without him. Even if their relationship brought only pain, she had to have him in her life. Always.

"Angel?" He turned toward her, startled by her presence, and then turned back towards the open sky. The sky was turning that royal blue colour that heralded the coming dawn. The sight of the sky made her feel on the verge of panicking, but Angel was calm and resigned, and for the first time, Buffy knew that he was serious. He was standing in front of her, waiting to die.

"Angel, you have to come inside." She walked towards him slowly. He had frightened her so much when she had seen him in her room. He was in such pain, she could see it in his eyes, and it hurt her physically to see him that way. For a moment, she couldn't tell who she was talking to, Angel or Angelus and the blurring of the line between the man that she loved and his evil alter ego made her nervous.

"I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds, sneaking downstairs…" Angel looked up at the stars that soon would be gone, replaced by the lightening sky. "…waiting for day."

Buffy saw the resigned look on her lover's face and began to panic. "Angel, I need you to get inside. There's only a few minutes left-"

"I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes."

Buffy moved towards him so that she was standing at his side, looking up at him. "I don't have time to explain this. You have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you…"

"It wasn't haunting me. It was just showing me."

"Showing you…" Buffy was confused. She knew that the First had been showing Angel the victims from his past, but what else had it been showing him?

He turned towards her and the haunted look in his face; the pain that resided in his eyes was almost too much for her to bear. As much as she wanted to look away from him, she couldn't. She had to convince him to go inside. He couldn't die out here, not like this. Buffy knew that she couldn't survive mourning him again. "What I am."

"Were."

"And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do."

She began to cry as she realized how resolved he was at ending his existence. "You don't know. What, some great honking evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?"

"I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer."

"Then you fight it!"

"It's too hard." Angel shouted at her, his voice cracking at the end.

Buffy began to panic as she saw the sky lighten. "Angel, please. Just come inside."

Angel turned to look at her. He tried to make her understand the danger that she faced if he did not burn. "It told me to kill you. You were in the dream, you know -- it told me to take you, to lose my soul in you and become a monster again."

"I know what it told you. Why does it matter?"

"Because I wanted to!" Angel was shouting now, but while his words were angry, Buffy could see the shimmer of tears in his eyes. "Because I want you so badly. I want to take comfort in you and I know it'll cost me my soul and a part of me doesn't care. I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy, it's the man."

"You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil power did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means you can hurt it. You have the power to do real good, Angel, to make amends. But if you die now, then all you ever were was a monster."

Angel just stood there, his back to her, his face turned up towards the violet sky.

"Angel…the sun is coming out…"

"Just go."

"I won't."

Angel turned to her again, his anger at her stubbornness rising. "You think this is simple? You think there's an answer? You can never understand what I've done. Now go!"

"You're not staying here! I won't let you." Buffy finally lost her patience. If she couldn't convince him to come inside, then she would have to force him. She grabbed his arm, and he shook her off.

"Leave!"

Buffy was done being nice. She punched him in the face and he pushed her away, sending her to the ground. She hit the rocky soil hard and winced as her head bounced against a rock. Angel moved over to her, grabbing her roughly into his arms, hurting her as he pulled her towards him.

"Am I a thing worth saving? Am I a righteous man? Do you know what my entire body and mind are yelling to me right now? Do it, take her, drain her. Is that what you want, Buffy? Do you really want me to kill you?" He shook her as she began to cry in his arms. He knew that he was hurting her, but he had to make her see, he had to scare her into letting him go.

He felt his face change as the demon came forth. He looked down at her, sobbing in his arms and his vampire senses activated. He could smell the rich, hot blood pumping through her body, could smell the fear that so excited his demon self.

She looked at him, saw his demon features and the excitement in his eyes and turned her head away, not wanting to see what he really was. Angel looked down at her exposed neck and closed his eyes, trying to control the demon in him that demanded blood. As his eyes slid shut, he could see the dream that they had shared. He could feel her in his arms, her warm limbs surrounding his cold body. He tried to shake off the dream, to open his eyes and let Buffy go, but he was trapped. All he could do is feel himself inside her, hear her moans, taste her skin.

He revelled in the dream, knowing that it would be the last time that he would ever be this close to her again. He felt the demon come forth at the moment of true happiness and he felt his fangs lengthen against the fragile skin of her neck. He smelled fear on her, mingled with the smell of sex and he licked the moist skin, savouring the salty taste. He could hear her voice, reaching his ears as if she was a long distance away.

"No Angel, please."

He tried again to break away from the dream, but he was too happy here, in her arms, surrounded by the silk sheets. He struggled to control himself, but he couldn't fight the demon that was telling him to feed. He wanted her too much, and the truth was, not only was the demon screaming for her blood, but his soul wanted to taste her too. He lost himself in her scent and bit through the fragile skin.

He moaned as the first drops of her coppery blood filled his mouth and then all rational thought ceased. All that he knew was the feel of her naked body and the taste of her powerful blood. He drank greedily savouring each russet drop that filled his mouth. As he felt her breathing slow, he opened his eyes, expecting to see Buffy as she had been in the dream, naked and flushed against the white sheets. Instead, saw her limp body laying on the dusty ground, her eyes shut and her neck torn open.

Angel screamed as he realized what he had done. He shook her violently, trying to wake her, to get her to open her eyes.

"Buffy, please no. Wake up, please, open your eyes." Angel could hear a raspy voice shouting over and over again, and he longed for the voice to stop, to be quiet so that he could hear her breathing. Dimly he realized that the voice was his, and the voice trailed off, replaced by sobs.

He shook her again but she only flopped mindlessly in his arms. He could still hear her heartbeat, but it was weakening, each beat sounding farther and farther apart. He didn't think, only acted as he tore open his wrist with his own teeth and laid the bleeding flesh over her mouth. As the blood hit her mouth, she at last moved and clutched his wrist, drinking in the coppery fluid. He couldn't think about what he was turning her into, all he knew was that she wouldn't die, that she couldn't die.

She drank until he felt his own body weaken and he pulled her mouth away from his wrist and lay back, gasping for unnecessary breath. He looked at her as her eyes slid shut and her chest stopped moving. The pounding that he had heard in his mind and in his heart stopped, and she lay there, dead. He fell over her lifeless body, sobbing as he realized what he had done. He gathered her into his arms, and whispered to her repeatedly, "Buffy, I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry."

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Continued...