Death Wish

Chapter 5
by Miss Binks

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Chapter Five

Spike was kneeling next to her, smirking as Buffy felt the blood from her shattered face run down her neck and stain her shirt.

“Remember, Buffy, when I told you about the other Slayers I’d done.   That the minute you felt that death wish, that I would slip it in.   Well, this is turning out to be a very good day.”  

Buffy struggled again, trying desperately to break the bonds that held her.   Spike grinned at her movements.   “What did you say?   That I was beneath you?”   Spike pushed her down so that she was lying on her back, her handcuffed arms twisted painfully beneath her.   Spike moved over her, straddling her, and pinning her down.  

Spike leaned over Buffy’s wiggling body and kissed her, forcing her lips open and thrusting his tongue in between her teeth.   Buffy bit down on his tongue with all her might, laughing as she felt the demon’s blood hit her face.   Spike screamed in anger and slapped the Slayer, the blood from her nose mixing with the blood from Spike’s mouth.   Spike leaned down and licked Buffy’s face, loving the taste of their blood mingling.

“Should have known that you would fight until the end.   But all the fighting in the world isn’t going to help you now.   You are going to die.   I told you that I was going to make your neck my chalice.   Now to drink deep.”  

Spike moved her hair away from Buffy’s neck, exposing the pulsing vein.   Spike leaned down, placing his hands on her shoulders.   He placed his head at the crook between her neck and shoulder, and breathed in deep, smelling her sweat and the smell of her fear.   He tasted her, tracing a line with his tongue along her collarbone and up the throbbing jugular.   She was salty and slightly sweet, and he reveled the sheer pleasure of her trembling body.

“Please, Spike.   Don’t do this.”

“Now Buffy, don’t beg.   It is so unbecoming of a Slayer.   You should go to your death strong.”   Spike leaned towards her again, hearing the pulsing beat of her heart drumming inside her slender chest.   Buffy struggled, raising her hips off the floor, trying desperately to throw Spike off.   Spike rode out her struggles and laughed.  

“Yeah, Slayer.   That is how to make it really fun.”   Spike ground his hips into Buffy’s and she could feel his hardness encased in the black jeans.   Somehow, feeling how much her pain turned him on broke her.   She started crying, her tears running off her face and down her neck.   Until now, she had truly believed that she would live through this, but she had lost the last bit of hope that she had.

“I am going to die.”   Buffy sobbed, her voice ringing off the tight concrete walls.

“No, Buffy, you are not going to die.   Well, you are not going to stay dead.”

With Spike’s words, Buffy’s eyes opened wide.   “”No, you can’t.   I won’t let you.   I’ll stake myself.”

“But see love, you won’t.   I can see it in you, the demon.   You love the hunt, the kill.   You are just like us.   You are going to be the most magnificent vampire the world has ever seen.   You will rule by my side and there won’t be a corner of this shitty planet that will be safe from us.”

“Must you be such a pompous bastard, Spike.   Do it, kill me.   Put me out of my misery.   Don’t make me listen to you any longer.”   Buffy shut her panic down deep inside her.   He could kill her, but at least she would go down fighting.

“Bitch.”   Spike slapped her again, making Buffy’s head ring and throb.   The pain in her face was terrible, she was sure that her jaw was broken, but she still managed to say one more thing.

“If you turn me, Spike, what makes you think that I would want to spend the rest of my days with a miserable piece of shit vampire like yourself.”   Buffy choked out the words, and then spit on Spike’s face, leaving a trail of spit and blood on his face.

“You fucking bitch.   I am really going to enjoy watching you die.   But I am too smart for you.   You’re trying to piss me off, so that I’ll just kill you and not turn you.   It’s not going to work, luv.”  

Spike returned his face to her neck, breathing in her scent, tasting her salty skin.   He licked her jaw, shuddering as the waves of excitement began to pour through his body.   The Slayer began to struggle, but he pinned her down, roughly grabbing her.   He looked at her neck and saw the twin scars, Angel and Dracula.   He was angry that they had gotten to her first, but elated that he would be the one to go where neither of them had been willing or able to go.   With one swift move, fastened his mouth over her pulsating vein.    She screamed as he slipped the sharp fangs into the fragile skin, and he moaned as the first drops of blood landed on his tongue.   He forced himself to drink slowly and to saver each russet drop.   He lay on top of her, feeling her tiny body struggle against him, hearing her heart pounding in his head.   He drank as the two sensations began to fade as her heart slowed and her body lay still.   He continued drinking her, feeling the hot blood race through his dead body, enlivening it and adding to his power.   The blood of the Slayer was so powerful he nearly swooned, and he fought to keep his head so that he could finish what he had started.  

As her breathing began to slow, he knew that the moment had come, that time just before death, when she was ready.   Spike sat back and looked at the Slayer, lying beneath him, struggling to remain conscious and felt a small stab of guilt.   He lovingly traced his fingertips along her cheek, feeling the warm smooth skin that would soon turn cold and hard.   Buffy opened her eyes and looked at Spike, her mouth struggling to form words.   Spike leaned down to hear the barely audible words.

“Spike, if you ever loved me, ever at all, kill me.   Don’t turn me into something that I have spent my life hating.   Please, I can’t live that way.   Don’t make my friends and family have to hunt me.   Don’t make Dawn’s big sister into a monster. Please, kill me.”

Spike met the Slayer’s eyes as the tears welled in their hazel depths and then spilled out along her cheeks.   His chest tightened at the sight of her pain and at the thought of her joining the undead.   For the first time since she had slammed the door in his face, Spike felt the cloud of fury leave him and a sliver of doubt take its place.   He had been so sure that this was what he had to do to get his revenge on the Slayer.   But he had never thought that at the last moment he would question the decision.  

He looked at the face that he had spent the last few months adoring from afar.   The Slayer lay in the muck of the sewer, her hair matted and her clothing ripped and dirty.   Her neck was covered in her own blood and her face was bruised and swollen.   She had never looked so beautiful.   She pleaded with him, using only her eyes.   She had lost the last of the energy needed to form words.   He looked at her, those beautiful eyes filled with tears and some part of his heart shattered.   The thought of her waking without a heartbeat now seemed to be the most horrific concept in the word.   He had loved this woman, and he found that in the end, he could not ignore her dying wish.

Spike moved off Buffy and sat beside her, took her hand and placed it in his.   He looked down, smoothed the wisp of hair from her face, and tilted her head so that she could see his eyes.

“Ahh Buffy.   I can’t do it.   I can’t turn you into something that you hate; I can’t make you into me.   I am sorry for what I have done, bringing you here, but you have my word that when you close your eyes as your heart stops, you will never open them again.”

He sat there, holding her hand, and he talked to her.   He told her about the man that he had been, and the vampire that he had become.   He talked to her about Drusilla and Angel, and he listened to the sound of her heart pounding slower and slower.   Her heart was incredibly strong.   It beat for much longer than a normal human’s would have, but in the end, the loss of blood was to great for her Slayer healing powers to overcome.   He heard the last beat and he waited in the silence of the sewers for another.  

When the silent moment stretched into two, he knew that she had slipped away.   He sat there for a moment or two, still holding her chilling hand and thought of the Slayer that was now being Chosen.   He had spent his unlife searching for Slayers to kill, but this one, the Slayer that he had loved was his last.   He would never again seek the Chosen One.   He picked up Buffy’s body and cradling it in his arms, walked out of the tunnel.   He carried the girl up out of the sewers and out into the fresh night air.   His mind recalled the moments that they had shared; the defeat of Angelus, the many fights, the times that they had worked together to protect Dawn.   While his mind reveled in the past, his feet seemed to know where to go.   He found himself walking out of the cemetery, down Main Street and to the door of the Magic Box.   He kicked open the door and walked in, placing Buffy’s body on the table.   He heard the first sobs of the witches, and the incredulous screams of Xander.  

Spike stood there, remembering the time that Red had cursed them, the feeling of Buffy’s lips on his, the joy that he had felt when she answered his question yes.   He was remembering how she felt in his arms as her Watcher shoved him back against the bookcases, the stake in his hand poised above his heart.   As he felt the sharp point enter his chest he whispered, “I love you, Buffy.”   The last thing that Spike saw before he turned to dust was the open, unseeing eyes of the Slayer, staring at him from the table.   Then he closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

THE END