To the half of myself. People think I'm so strong, you know. But you know that I'm not. I thought I'd never overcome your passing. Why did you leave us, when you were the only one knowing me at all. You knew me better than I did. You wanted life, you were hungering for life, you were breathing life, while I have always been your shadow, the quiet black ghost, who were only waiting for death. But you died. And I'm still alive. I've cried for hours. Days. Years. Since the day of your passing my heart is homeless. The major hurt had passed - but sometimes at night I still cry, I still resent your loss. But most of the time ... God bless you ... I feel you behind my shoulder, like an angel watching over me. That's so much comfort. If you had been here during all those years of suffering, maybe I would still be the one you used to know, but I've changed so much. I told you and I promised you I would never change. But you know, I am possessed by someone. You know it, we've talked about it. You made me promise you I would never give up and never change. I never gave up my love for him, I hold onto it so tightly that my hands are sore. But I've changed - I'm darker than I have ever been. I wish I could have your thirst for life, its mysteries, its gifts, its turning points. But I hate them, actually. Because life took you away from me, and that's why I think that I have been misblessed. Death is a part of life ... It takes so much courage to die ... to live, you only need some illusions ... to me, you're the strongest person I have ever met. I still think that you're my guardian angel. To me, you're not totally dead, I still feel your presence. Thanks my grandma that I've become a powerful Witch - I can call on for you. I believe that you're in a better place than the one we used to haunt before ... Sometimes I feel you cry tears of pearls that fall on my shoulders, and I know you're sad, but don't be. I will join you soon. Faithfully yours. Morgane.