Gabriel
Chapter Twenty-Four


En route to Helena
September 25, 2001
6:45 a.m.


It was pure bliss, the way she snuggled into
him, all sleep-warmed and sighing as she drifted
up from her dreams.  "Mmm... what time is it?"

She hadn't woken when he'd crawled back into bed
with her after his midnight cup of coffee with
Kurtzweil.  It was a small blessing, one he'd
embraced as he did her, shedding his top clothes
to burrow under the covers, bringing her body
into close, relieved contact.  Though the
caffeine had temporarily jolted his nerves
awake, it hadn't been long before he'd slept,
the familiar feel of her more relaxing to him
than any sleeping pill.

Lifting drowsy eyelids, he eyed the clock on her
night stand.  Pulling her close, he watched her
eyes flutter as he tucked her sleep-tousled hair
behind her ear to expose a cheek that begged to
be kissed.  "Almost seven.  Hungry?"  He brushed
his lips across that soft slope, careful not to
abrade the skin with his beard.

"Yeah." Suddenly, she stiffened in his arms and
her eyes flew open as the last cobwebs cleared. 
She drew back, almost panicked as the alert blue
orbs searched his face.  "Gabriel!  The doctor -
I remember hearing him last night - God, did he
see you?"

So much for Kurtzweil's assurance of a
convenient memory lapse.  "No," he murmured,
reassuring her with the caress of her cheek. 
The lie didn't come easily, but he forced it
through his lips anyway.  "I buzzed for him then
high-tailed it to the room next door."

"My husb- his?"  Her worry increased tenfold,
her brow wrinkling with distress.  "Oh, Gabriel,
please tell me you didn't -"

"Nothing happened, Julia."  Firmer now, his
voice pressed her into relaxing.  It was with
regret that he added, "No one did anything." 
Including himself.  He was beginning to think
that 'ineffectual' should be his new middle
name.

Shaky fingers came up to touch his battered
forehead.  "What's this?"

"A little run-in with your door.  Nothing."

"Gabriel, don't lie to me.  Something happened,
didn't it?"

"No, I promise."

"Gabriel -"

Only one thing to do, he thought sadly.  But it
wasn't taxing - no, not at all.  Infinitely
satisfying was more like it.  She hummed under
his mouth for just a second, her anger still
simmering beneath his touch.  He felt the moment
she capitulated, her lips opening like the
petals of a flower, her hands sliding down his
chest to curl around his waist.

With a sigh, she pulled away.  "That's not fair,
you know."  Sprinkling kisses down his chest,
she turned him easily to his back.  "I had a
good head of steam going."

"I know you did."  His eyes closed as he allowed
her to mold his body to her will, falling back
like a lazy cat under her scratching.  "Believe
me, Julia.  Everything's fine."

Except it wasn't.  As he laid under her
caresses, last night's sorrow returned and he
bit his lip to keep from crying out at the
injustice of it all.  Oblivious to his pain, she
happily hummed against his skin, her hands
drifting down.

No, he thought.  They couldn't do this.  He
couldn't make love to her - let her make love to
him - with so many lies between them.  But it
was so dangerous to tell her the truth.  And it
was so selfish of him to want to use her body -
her dying body - in an effort to ease his
sadness.  He willed his betraying flesh to
settle down as he gently shrugged her off,
swinging his legs to the floor.

"Breakfast?" Hunched over, he steeled himself
against the inevitable touch of her fingers. 
When it came, he stiffened, moving slightly
away.  He didn't want to arouse her suspicion by
totally shutting her out, but neither did he
want a repeat of last night's episode.

Behind him, he heard her sit up.  "Gabriel?" 
Calm and soft of voice, she slid her hand up to
his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  "What's
wrong?"

"Nothing, I told you.  Nothing."  Slipping out
from under her touch, he stood and reached for
his jeans, carefully avoiding her searching
gaze.  It had been so easy as she slept to
imagine himself saving the day.  Riding up to
his father on a white horse and demanding what
was stolen from her; presenting it to her as
some sort of Holy Grail, with himself as
deliverer.  But in the cold light of day, his
frustration and impotence came back to cloak
him.  Binding his arms and chest with oppressive
ropes that bit into his skin with every move he
tried to make.

"I know something's wrong, Gabriel.  I can
tell."  From the corner of his eye, he saw her
leave the bed.  He turned to the windows,
fastening his jeans as she continued, "These
clothes.  Where did you get them?"

Half-turning, he saw her walk forward, sweater
in hand, her question tightening her brow.  "Kr-
Arntzen.  Found them in his room."  Please don't
ask me anymore, he begged silently.

Her steps brought her around to face him.  After
bringing the sweater to her nose, she flung it
at him, her eyes flashing.  "And you took time
to bathe?"

He fisted the black material, his explanation
faltering.  "Julia..."

"Don't even bother, Gabriel."  Arms crossed, she
was all fire and fury, determination steeling
her jaw.  "They know you're here, don't they? 
Arntzen, the doctor, Mr. Spencer?"  At his
silence she demanded, "Don't they?"

He caved under her accusing stare.  "Yes."  With
anger at his failed resolve not to upset her, he
turned, pulling the sweater over his head.  "I'm
going to ask you not to pursue this, Julia. 
Please.  I can't say anymore."

A soft sigh blew across his back and warm,
slender arms sneaked around his middle.  "The
Colonel's not meeting us, is he?"

Gabriel closed his hands over her wrists,
hanging his head.  "No.  We're heading to
Helena.  We have to get there by six... lives
depend on it."  It was way too much to have let
slip out, but it was too late.  He just hoped
she'd understand and let it go.

"I know," she said softly, her cheek rubbing
against his back.  "Much as I want to leave with
you, I'm glad you decided to let Matthew reach
Helena without delay."

She thought he'd had a change of heart about the
boy; his use of the plural had escaped her for
the moment.  Matthew and his grandfather meant
nothing to Gabriel.  The only lives he cared
about were the ones trying to melt into his
back.  Mother and child, both dependent on the
chip no bigger than the head of an hat pin. 
Swallowing back the aching in his throat, he
turned to fully embrace her, his hands pulling
her as close as he could.

"Mad at me?" he whispered, settling his chin
over her mussed, bright hair.

"Me?" Disbelief made her chuckle as she returned
his hug.  "Nah.  But all you had to do was tell
me the truth.  That's all I ever ask, Gabriel. 
I'm so tired of people tiptoeing around me."

"And risk hurting you?" he countered.  "I don't
think so."

"This little tidbit of information didn't even
make a wave in the pool," she huffed.  "What I
don't understand is why Mr. Spencer felt he had
to procure a husband for me."

Gabriel leaned back to look her in the face, his
words solemn.  "Because he was worried about
you.  As we all are."  It wasn't entirely the
reason for Spencer's drafting of Krycek, but it
did contain some truth.  "Now, let's see about
some breakfast."

Julia smiled, one eyebrow raised.  "In here?"

The offer was tempting, but unwise.  He never
thought he'd see the day he'd turn down intimacy
with her.  But he was still wary of her reaction
and there were other advantages to seeking out
the other passengers on the train.  Besides the
opportunity to dig a little deeper, there was
the most compelling reason to seek out an
audience - they couldn't very well throw him off
the train in her presence, now could they? 
She'd guarantee that he'd make it to Helena.

Shaking his head, he released her and sat on the
bed, reaching for his boots.  "In the club car. 
I hear the view is spectacular from there."

As he dropped his head to tie his boot laces, he
felt a hand stroke his hair.  "You're going to
have to touch me again one day, you know," came
the soft warning.

Stilling, he realized she could see right
through him.  One thing that had never changed,
never would.  Without looking up, he wrapped his
arms around her, dropping his cheek to her
round, firm belly.  "I'm touching you now," he
whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

Her other hand came up to tweak his ear. 
"That's not what I meant and you know it."

For long moments, he held her tight, fighting
the return of his tears.  Unable to answer her,
he simply nodded, basking in the warmth of her
body and the caress of her fingers.  Spencer
implied last night that he was after a cure for
Matthew *and* Julia.  But what if things didn't
go as planned?  He'd have to make a decision
soon.  God, he felt so alone, despite having her
with him.  She was part Scully, part Julia...
and he'd give anything now to have the Scully
part of her step up and present him with the
solution to their problems.  What would you do
Scully? he wanted to ask.

He knew what he wanted.  That chip back in her
neck and their baby born healthy.  Easy.  But
what if the chip Spencer got from his father was
just like the one she now had?  One thing he had
control over was his father's presence.  It
didn't matter if she could be called then,
because there wouldn't be anyone left to call
her, he'd see to it personally.  But could he
live with her never remembering who she was? 
Who he was?

Damn straight he could, he thought, nuzzling the
thin cotton with his nose.

"Julia?"

"Yes?"

"If this was all we had..." He tread lightly,
picking his words carefully.  "Just Julia and
Gabriel..."

"And our child," she pointed out with a chuckle,
her belly moving beneath his cheek, her fingers
tugging at his hair.

"Yeah," he agreed with a hitching breath, his
lips cracking into a grin.  "Sorry, I'm still
getting used to it."

"It's okay," she murmured, "so am I.  And the
answer is yes."

Lifting his head, he looked into her soft,
smiling gaze.  "Are you sure?  What if you can
never -?"

"Never what?  Remember what my life was like
without you in it?  Remember the time before I
met you?"  She dropped a quick kiss on his
forehead, then straightened to declare, "There
is nothing else I need to know, Gabriel."

But there was, his mind insisted.  The Scully he
knew would want to know everything about
herself, about the world she'd lived in.  Her
family, her work, the way she'd been used by his
father... the way her life hung in balance
because of it.  "But -"

His words were smothered by her fingers.  "But
nothing.  Gabriel, I've lived these past months
wondering who I was, where I'd come from... if
there was anyone out there looking for me."  A
sheen of tears accompanied her smile.  "I don't
need to look anymore.  I don't need to ask, to
try to fill the blanks in my mind.  You did that
when you found me.  You filled all the gaps. 
When you found me, I found myself."

He smiled as well, choking back the onslaught of
emotion.  "Are you sure, Julia?  'Cause I'm one
step up from a bum right now.  Not much of a
catch, I'm afraid."

She gave him another all-too-brief kiss, this
time on the lips, before moving away to the
closet.  "Well, I'm a homeless, pregnant,
married-then-not amnesiac.  I'd say that makes
us about even, doesn't it?"  Winking, she drew
her robe from the closet.  "I'll even let you
use my toothbrush before I hog the bathroom.  If
that's not true love, what is?"


*******


7:15 a.m.


He left her in the shower, groaning with regret
at her invitation to share the hot water with
him.  At the look on his face, she'd relented,
but not before teasing him by parading around
the room stark naked.  Even now, as he made his
way to the club car, he brought a hand to the
front of his jeans, grumbling at his dick to
settle down.  She'd assured him she would no
longer press the issue of her former life,
telling him it didn't matter.  But, like someone
burned, he wanted to back off from the fire for
a bit.  Besides, there were other matters to
tend to before she made an appearance at
breakfast.

Thankfully, Jesse and Kurtzweil were the only
two partaking of eggs and ham in the club car. 
Kurtzweil looked up with surprise, immediately
launching into a warning.  "I thought I told you
not to tell her anything.  What the hell are you
doing in here?"

Ignoring the doctor's stern look, Gabriel sat at
the table, facing Jesse with a level stare. 
"Has anything changed?  It's still on for Canyon
Ferry Dam?"

With a mouthful of eggs, Jesse looked up from
his plate.  "Shit, Gabe.  Can't a man eat in
peace?"

Gabriel wrapped his hand around Jesse's wrist,
stopping his fork in mid-air.  "Don't fuck with
me, Jesse.  Tell me."

The arm under his fingers tightened a bit, then
relented, slowly lowering.  "Weather's bad, but
right now we're runnin' about an hour ahead of
schedule.  Passed Cheyenne a couple of hours
ago.  No change in plans, not that I know of." 
He shrugged away from Gabriel's grasp with a
snide grin.  "Satisfied?"

Canyon Ferry Dam.  Gabriel sat back, unease
settling over him.  He wasn't familiar with the
landmark, but if it was typical of similar
structures in the area, it was isolated and very
open.  Impossible to hide any force of men
because of its stark construction and little or
no adjacent buildings.

"He told Mr. Spencer to come alone," Jesse said,
speaking of Gabriel's father.  "Naturally, Julia
will go, too.  Along with me and Alex.  We're
gonna have some men hidden there, Gabe.  You
know we ain't taking no chances."

Still wasn't good enough, Gabriel decided.  Not
that he planned on letting Spencer know that. 
He hoped Frohike had an idea, because he sure as
hell was tapped out at the moment.

Kurtzweil took his silence as an opportunity to
butt in, grabbing Gabriel's arm.  "What did you
tell her?"

Shrugging off the hand, he flashed Kurtzweil an
annoyed look.  "As little as possible.  She
knows Krycek was just a bid to keep her quiet; 
she accepts me as - " As what?  Her mate?  It
sounded so trite and he found he couldn't give
it voice.  Instead, he swallowed it down,
continuing, "She thinks we're still going to
Helena to help Matthew.  And after that, she and
I will strike out on our own."

"And you?  Does she remember you?"

"No."  Thank goodness Kurtzweil was partially
right about her blocking out last night's
events.  "I don't think she remembers my real
name."

"Good." Kurtzweil finished his coffee.  "Let's
keep it that way."

Gabriel turned to him, mirroring his grasp of a
few moments past, shaking his arm.  "Did Spencer
tell my father the chip under her arm is
failing?  Is he bringing it with him?"

"I believe so - that's part of the deal. 
Spencer's not handing Julia over until your
father shows him the chip.  And Matthew's cure. 
Proof that your father has what they both need."

"And this chip - can you insert it and remove
the other one?"

"Of course." Kurtzweil gave him an affronted
stare.  "Do you think I'm incapable?"

Gabriel released him, hanging his head to say,
"No.  I'm just..."

"Overwhelmed, I know."  Soft and assuring, he
added, "Mr. Spencer has been good to me,
Gabriel.  To all of us.  And he's had a soft
spot for Agent Scully since the beginning.  He
admires her, more than he does you, I think."

"Don't I know it," Gabriel snorted.  "She's my
better half."

"Don't worry, okay?  Everything will work out -
I'll have a small surgery set up in Matthew's
quarters.  Fifteen minutes, that's all I need." 
Kurtzweil stood, cup in hand.  "You can tell her
everything after this is all over." He gave
Gabriel a nod before retreating to the kitchen.

Yeah, but would she understand?  Would she even
want to know all that she'd been through, all
that had been taken from her?  If he could, he'd
wrap her in cotton and spirit her away to a
place untouched by human hands.  That farm they
spoke of back in the bunker; just the two of
them and baby makes three.  Happily ever after.

"How do I get some breakfast around here?"

Julia's light tones disturbed the heaviness that
surrounded the men.  She'd arrived early; 
dressed in a suit of clothes similar to last
night's, this time a deep gold velour.  Gabriel
and Jesse both stood, and Kurtzweil poked his
head out from the kitchen.

"Julia, how are you feeling?" He gave her a
smile, stirring his coffee with slow
nonchalance.

"Fine, sir," she answered, moving away from the
door to approach the table.  "Though I can't
really remember all that much about what brought
it on.  I thought the seizures were going away."

Gabriel held out his chair for her, meeting
Kurtzweil's swift glance over her head.  She
didn't even remember speaking to him last night
in bed.  It must have really done a number on
her, he thought.  Worse than the one back in the
cabin.  Back then, she recovered fairly quickly.

"Good morning, Jesse."  She looked up at the big
man with wary eyes, smoothing her sweater over
her belly.

"Miss Julia," he answered softly, downing the
rest of his coffee in one gulp as he pushed his
chair back in.  "I - uh - I gotta go see if Mr.
Spencer wants some breakfast."  He made a hasty
exit and Julia raised a brow at Gabriel, who
hovered to her right.

"Something I said?"

Gabriel smiled and leaned closer, taking her
hand.  "He thinks pregnancy is contagious."

Laughing, she squeezed his hand.  "If it is,
it's news to me - though I wouldn't mind palming
off some of its less desirable symptoms."

At that, his smile faded as he dropped to a
crouch beside her.  "What?  You feeling okay?" 
Short words from a tongue suddenly stumbling
with fear.  She looked healthy and, in the midst
of his concern about the chip, he realized he'd
lost sight of the obvious stress a woman's body
gains with pregnancy.  Not to mention any number
of complications she could encounter along the
way.

"I'm fine, Gabriel," she murmured, easing her
hand from under his grip to give his cheek a
swipe of her thumb.  Closing the distance
between them, she whispered with a playful look
from beneath lazy lashes, "That's the second
time I've seen that face, you know.  I'd assumed
it was panic." One eyebrow rose with such
familiarity it took his breath away. "Or could
it be sudden intestinal distress?"

His stiff neck gave way at last as he dropped
his chin with a chuckle.  "I guess last night's
chili didn't sit well with me."  Lifting his
gaze, he forced his stomach to settle; his worry
for her had gotten to the point where it showed
in every move he made, every look he gave her. 
And one thing she didn't need was to take his
anxiety upon herself.

Thankfully, she laughed along with him, though
it was short as her reply was laced with mild
concern.  "Think you can handle breakfast? 
Because I'm starved and I'd like some company."

A plate of eggs and toast materialized between
them and they drew apart to face Kurtzweil's
smile.  "Eat, Julia.  You need to give that baby
his breakfast."

"His?" Gabriel asked, his eyes darting from the
doctor to Julia with curiosity.

Julia picked up the fork and ignored his
question, looking at Kurtzweil.  "Can we get
something for Gabriel, Doctor?"

"An answer to my question?" He stared at
Kurtzweil, who shook his head.

"Eggs I can manage, Gabriel." He moved back to
the kitchen, adding, "I think you'll have to
wait another few months for the other."

At the amused curl of Julia's lips, he stood,
giving her bright hair a light kiss before
turning to follow Kurtzweil into the kitchen. 
"Hey - I can ask, right?"

The swift press of fingers on his ass made him
jerk and turn with a drop of his mouth.  Did she
just -?

She sat, bringing her glass of juice to her lips
as she murmured, "I *like* that face.  What do
you call it?"

He swallowed, feeling the heat of her caress him
as he bent low, one hand on the back of her
chair, the other reaching for a bite of her
toast.  "Christmas morning."  Popping the bread
into his mouth, he straightened, giving her a
grin.

"I can't be sure, you know.  We may have to
actually research this in December."

Turning, he felt the certainty of success return
in the face of her vitality.  His waking doubts
fled in an instant, and he knew at that moment
that all would be well.  Lots of Decembers
loomed on the horizon for them; he'd make sure
of it.

"It's a date," he said, giving her a sure smile.



End Chapter Twenty-Four