Day 4

Passing glances.
'Stop being so rude.' Simply put out by this, I reply, without a trace of emotion 'I'm not being rude, I didnt say anything.' This is what its always like I think as I feed the cats.... Where's my shirt?
I spent today with a new friend. I think he wants to be more than friends. At first I didn't even know who he was, kind of cure. I would never allow myself to be with him though, too muchtrouble. Besides, my heart has already been promised to someone. Also forbidden, but not by morals. Well, not really forbidden, its just not likely. Oh god I need him to sit beside me and tell me that 'its okay'. Thats all I want from anyone . What if the betrayer finds out who I was with. My don't think he'll be happy. Am I obsessed with guys???? All I mention in here is 'he, him, etc..'. Its like the only peopel I knwo are guys - not true.

'Crash and burn
All the stars explode tonight
How's you get so desperate
How'd you stay alive
Help me please
Burn the sorrow from your eyes
Oh, come on be alive again
Don't lay down and die...
...'and the sun goes down,
I watch you slip away'...
-Mailbu, Hole (Celebrity Skin)

I can't keep up with your ways girl, you lie and you change every second. You complain about people controlling your life, you try to control mine. You whine and complain when I don't do something for you - just do it yourself. You make me feel guilty for having my own emotions. When I'm down, you don't care, when your down, the whole world revolves around you. Well FUCK YOU!
Still calling in my min, I hope you read this *****. You don't deserve what I did, but vice-versa applies.
a moment - he hugged me and made me feel great, even though I am morally objected, I needed that.

An Image - a needle, some thread

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