I haven't cried today, at least not that I can remember. MY best friend has saved me, and trusted me with the truth. Abuse that I never noticed. I worried but I never assumed. I thought that there was more sense there than that. I will kill him for you I said. You smiled, luaghed like I was joking. I wasn't, I will.

You have no right to be here. They all hate me, call me a slut. I don't really care, it's just when they make fun of my friends, I don't know how to deal with insults. I've always just taken them, never debated them. People say I should reach for salvation 'quit this' 'stop being so down on yourself.' Well, the turth is. I miss Chris, his friendship, always asking me what's on my mind. I sued to always have some deep philosophical answer, but then I screwed it up, as with everything else. All situations. I just look back on it and realized how I could have saved everything.